₦airaland Forum

Mariangeles:
The " be grateful l let him marry you " type of guy .

Some guys just find it hard to give space when their best friend gets married

and small time they will start gossiping about someone
Some won't even give you guys breathing space. I practically had to drag my own husband with one of his friend. At a point I thought he was gay and maybe in love with my husband.

Donjazzy12:
If you are a man and you wrote this, then bobrisky is beta than you. Continue. Let your wife disrespect and insult all your friends. Let her chase them all away. One day, she will wake up and decide, what the heck I can also chase my husband away! That is when your big head and tiny body will start sweating like a corpse on its way to hell. FOOL!

Naaaa!Only a weak man think like you do, trust me.I don't keep friends, as i see no need to.My success today is attributed majorly to less friends i keep.I drink with them in bars and thats where it ends.They dont need to address my wife the way they feel, just as i wont disrespect even their side chicks.A friend in need is a friend indeed does not apply when he comes to my marital home unannounced then have the effrontery to disrespect my wife.Its only a foolish and stupid man thinks the value of his friends supercedes the sanity of his wife/family.Learn this;

Freddy Heineken:
There are two ways a man can be rich in this world, he can have a lot of money, or he can have a lot of friends. But he cannot have both.

OCEANMORGAN:
You are not marrying your wife to become a slave. If your friend is visiting you by 12AM, then you should be ready to cook for him or he cook for himself. A woman will do a lot of house chores during the day time and still use her resting time to do other shït?? You married a woman not a machine, even machines breakdown.

Probably you aint married.

If i tell my wife that a certain friend is coming, she goes to the market and cooks the best she can.

She must serve food in the best china available in the house. That's how to treat guest.

Infact, i want them to come tomorrow again as far as I can afford it, let them keep coming. What are friends for?

Shibaraba:
Husband is weak.....
You can't mess with my nigga o
Nigga wey we don dey street all this days and we probably hustle hard together for you to have a comfortable home you come do am like that
Ill deal with her codedly

My advice for mister husband
Woman wey fit do this one to your friend no go look twice before she lace your food with poison if you do am anything

Japa fast fast.

From most of your comments on topics that has to do with women, I can deduce that you neither love nor respect your wife.

Unless you're single...

Noblefirstlady:
and small time they will start gossiping about someone
Some won't even give you guys breathing space. I practically had to drag my own husband with one of his friend. At a point I thought he was gay and maybe in love with my husband.

That's right !

Your family first.

publicenemy:
God bless you brother. Just what I was about to say. The only reason a woman can have any say or power in my house is if we struggled together to achieve wealth. That woman can wield power in my house and I GI just dey pamper her but still she can't mess with my friends. But if God blesses me with wealth and riches before I meet my wife, thunder fire her if she try that kind nonsense with my friend. Friends wen we don hustle under rain and sun together....

Meeeen the kind beat wen I go beat her before I kick her out of my house ehn! Television go carry am. Thunder fire her papa.

Do you really mean all this things you typed up there
You mean your friends will be more important to you than your wife?
And you can even beat and kick her out because of a friend. You were just joking right?

I’m just shocked that 80 people liked this comment. 80 single frustrated bitter men. Once you get married Oga, the mother of your children/ your wife becomes your no1 priority. Sorry to break it down to you, but you can’t allow your friends to cross the boundaries in regards to your wife. That’s the true strength of a man, oponu.

Shibaraba:
Husband is weak.....
You can't mess with my nigga o
Nigga wey we don dey street all this days and we probably hustle hard together for you to have a comfortable home you come do am like that
Ill deal with her codedly

My advice for mister husband
Woman wey fit do this one to your friend no go look twice before she lace your food with poison if you do am anything

Japa fast fast.

Shibaraba:
Husband is weak.....
You can't mess with my nigga o
Nigga wey we don dey street all this days and we probably hustle hard together for you to have a comfortable home you come do am like that
Ill deal with her codedly

My advice for mister husband
Woman wey fit do this one to your friend no go look twice before she lace your food with poison if you do am anything

Japa fast fast.

If you no respect yourself, na so your padi wife go do you too.

Please these guys are not married. Let them get married first, their whole tune will change. Silly young boys. They think marriage is synonymous to nollywood movies, it is well.

Noblefirstlady:
Do you really mean all this things you typed up there
You mean your friends will be more important to you than your wife?
And you can even beat and kick her out because of a friend. You were just joking right?

Pavore9:
Lives depend on their friend?

Even if you your elder brother is the one helping you, will you feel comfortable with him instructing your wife? As people achieve milestones in their lives, adjustments has to set in. If as a bachelor you were used to going to your mom's place to go eat during the weekend, once you get married that will no longer be your schedule and your wife should be held responsible of "cutting you off" .

I come to my brothers house and ask his wife can you prepare this or that for my breakfast. How does that become a command, its a question. Can you prepare?

Even if i say i want this or that, i have to end it with a question can you do it?

The can simply say no and i walk out.

For someone to come to your house and ask for food whether prepared or not means he is asking not commanding.

What if the man asks the husband who in turns commands the wife, i think the visitor showed respect by asking directly and the woman should have happily done it.

Anyone i open my mouth and ask for favour should know i respect him. She was respected but she replied with disrespect.

Saffi:
I’m just shocked that 80 people liked this comment. 80 single frustrated bitter men. Once you get married Oga, the mother of your children/ your wife becomes your no1 priority. Sorry to break it down to you, but you can’t allow your friends to cross the boundaries in regards to your wife. That’s the true strength of a man, oponu.

Ni baba e

Why are you asking your brothers wife to cook for you if she’s not offering it to you first? Can she come to you and ask you for money whenever she likes? You people really don’t understand courtesy when going to other people’s houses or just in general. There’s nothing wrong with your brothers wife preparing food for you, but don’t be asking her to prepare food most times you go there, especially if she’s not offering it to you first. She might not say anything out loud, but deep down she doesn’t like it. Respect yourself please. If you want a personal chef go and get married.

adanny01:
I come to my brothers house and ask his wife can you prepare this or that for my breakfast. How does that become a command, its a question. Can you prepare?

Even if i say i want this or that, i have to end it with a question can you do it?

The can simply say no and i walk out.

For someone to come to your house and ask for food whether prepared or not means he is asking not commanding.

What if the man asks the husband who in turns commands the wife, i think the visitor showed respect by asking directly and the woman should have happily done it.

Anyone i open my mouth and ask for favour should know i respect him. She was respected but she replied with disrespect.

Shibaraba:
Husband is weak.....
You can't mess with my nigga o
Nigga wey we don dey street all this days and we probably hustle hard together for you to have a comfortable home you come do am like that
Ill deal with her codedly

My advice for mister husband
Woman wey fit do this one to your friend no go look twice before she lace your food with poison if you do am anything

Japa fast fast.

Agreed... you can't come and start treating my long-term friend like that... it's like you're abusing me too.

But the husband suppose use sense talk to his guy... we're not bachelors anymore and my wife is not for you to be ordering like a waitress.

Mariangeles:
Only a real man that knows that a woman needs her space ...You're a real man .

Thanks man...some guys no just know how and when to cut the crap and set boundaries... wetin i no fit finish i dey stop am before eh start

MissRaine69:
Semantics ......It’s childish and she is a borderline psychopath.

Like I said, different strokes. Worked for her.

adanny01:
Probably you aint married.

If i tell my wife that a certain friend is coming, she goes to the market and cooks the best she can.

She must serve food in the best china available in the house. That's how to treat guest.

Infact, i want them to come tomorrow again as far as I can afford it, let them keep coming. What are friends for?

There is a difference between a visit from a friend, and allowing that friend to become second husband. This friend showed up at 7am to come and start ordering this and that. If the husband had asked for the food, that's one thing... but he can't start making demands on my wife... ask me and I will convey your request to my wife as I see fit. That's the protocol.

publicenemy:
God bless you brother. Just what I was about to say. The only reason a woman can have any say or power in my house is if we struggled together to achieve wealth. That woman can wield power in my house and I GI just dey pamper her but still she can't mess with my friends. But if God blesses me with wealth and riches before I meet my wife, thunder fire her if she try that kind nonsense with my friend. Friends wen we don hustle under rain and sun together....

Meeeen the kind beat wen I go beat her before I kick her out of my house ehn! Television go carry am. Thunder fire her papa.

I know your type .... nah talkative like you dey tie pikin for back go market go buy food stuff or wash pant for your wife...total vegetable!!

adanny01:
I come to my brothers house and ask his wife can you prepare this or that for my breakfast. How does that become a command, its a question. Can you prepare?
Even if i say i want this or that, i have to end it with a question can you do it?

Maybe you ask nicely, but the vast majority of inlaws demand and command. The only people I can allow to ask like that are my parents, and even then they know how to ask because they know I can vex. Everybody else, brother, sister, uncle, cousin, aunties (I especially have to be patient with my aunties because na dem raise me, but still)... you better realize that my wife is not your waitress and tread carefully in my house.

Saffi:
I’m just shocked that 80 people liked this comment. 80 single frustrated bitter men. Once you get married Oga, the mother of your children/ your wife becomes your no1 priority. Sorry to break it down to you, but you can’t allow your friends to cross the boundaries in regards to your wife. That’s the true strength of a man, oponu.

Am sure you are not married.

Have you heard of the word "influence" before. A wife can be at home and have a husband's friend with so much influence over her husband but the friend and wife have never met. That is men for you.

Just because you are the wife, mother of the children and feel like the mans entire priority or atleast the no 1 priority is you but are not. You are painting a black and white picture but life is colourful and in 4D.

You are putting yourself up for disappointment. A man knows his priority, do not tell him to choose you as his priority. Priorities change and should be dynamic.

If i ask you as a wife, what is your no 1 priority. Will you say the kids (wrong), the hubby (wrong), house keeping (wrong), work (wrong). What exactly, is your priority? The entire responsibility you have as a wife is the priority. Than mans priority is not his wife, it is his entire responsibility to his family.

A family includes friends and relatives. When friends and relatives are happy with you, your husband is happy with you for making him proud. When you poison his friends, trust me, it will come around when your husband realizes he is being fenced off. When you have problems at home, you may need those friends to bail you out.

Lastly, when you want to compare yourself to his friends in terms of priority, you have brought yourself at the same level with them competing for attention. When you know and claim that you are the priority, you have conquered your insecurities and no one will wrestle you for that secure position hold.

adanny01:
I come to my brothers house and ask his wife can you prepare this or that for my breakfast. How does that become a command, its a question. Can you prepare?

Even if i say i want this or that, i have to end it with a question can you do it?

The can simply say no and i walk out.

For someone to come to your house and ask for food whether prepared or not means he is asking not commanding.

What if the man asks the husband who in turns commands the wife, i think the visitor showed respect by asking directly and the woman should have happily done it.

Anyone i open my mouth and ask for favour should know i respect him. She was respected but she replied with disrespect.

I hope you aren't allergic to pepper?

Honestly though, that isn't how respect works. A lot of us need to go back home and learn courtesy. Your brother's wife is not your wife and even your wife has limits she can endure. I think men believe all married women just love being in the kitchen. They don't. It's not bad to visit someone with alternatives or say "Please, don't bother, I won't stay long" Read the expressions of your host, know when you graduate from friend to nuisance.
Haven't you had friends who helped you in the past but have graduated to big babies? I do. You might be able to bear with them, don't expect others to.
And please, there's nothing honourable about cooking. For some people, it's just work, not fun.

ShawtCake:
I like you jare..

I like you too

you're taken already??

UjuJoan2:
People 'like' her because they get to ride her and take advantage of her without any resistance from her. I assure you that you have their respect more than she does.

Oh no! You read that wrong or I expressed myself wrong. She resolved the issues in a way that people were not aware she was doing it to her advantage. Most times, people did not even know they were being put in their place. I doff my hat for her. Her marriage seems to be conflict free. The in-laws are busy fighting their son and loving her to pieces.

She for kukuma put rat poison inside the food na. This is a no no for me. Better to say Oga I nor well, I nor fit cook than to poison am.

publicenemy:
God bless you brother. Just what I was about to say. The only reason a woman can have any say or power in my house is if we struggled together to achieve wealth. That woman can wield power in my house and I GI just dey pamper her but still she can't mess with my friends. But if God blesses me with wealth and riches before I meet my wife, thunder fire her if she try that kind nonsense with my friend. Friends wen we don hustle under rain and sun together....

Meeeen the kind beat wen I go beat her before I kick her out of my house ehn! Television go carry am. Thunder fire her papa.

You will beat your wife?

May God bless you with a violent woman like you.


Ewu!

nextstep:
Maybe you ask nicely, but the vast majority of inlaws demand and command. The only people I can allow to ask like that are my parents, and even then they know how to ask because they know I can vex. Everybody else, brother, sister, uncle, cousin, aunties (I especially have to be patient with my aunties because na dem raise me, but still)... you better realize that my wife is not your waitress and tread carefully in my house.

The word ask has been lost in translation.

As a friend or a brother, there is no way i will go to a house that is not mine to say give me food, give me cloths, give me money and still make it sound like a command. It is not a command no matter how i say it. It is a request.

No matter how the request sounds, it will never be a command. And a request needs an answer whether Yes or no. As far as i have the right to say yes or no, its a request.

For me, i ask my wife to treat my friends like her friends, if she treats them like my friends there will be problems.

A friend shows up in my house, says to wifey, my friend am hungry and feel like eating so so or so, am sure if it were her personal friend. She would jump to the request. Why not my friends even if he is over reaching.

She treats my friends badly i treat hers badly. Lets all stay friendless. Besides i will go out and hang out. Is it not better we all be friends and stop bickering over food.

When my friends come to my house and tells wifey do and bring 5k, thats a serious problem.

There are no boundaries to cross if no boundaries are set. The boundaries i have in my home are simple and have not been set a d have not been broken.

No going to my bedroom, kitchen or children bedroom. How easy is that. When you create more say dont command my wife, a simple request could sound like command if she doesnt like the request, it is set up for major fireworks.

MissRaine69:
Semantics ......It’s childish and she is a borderline psychopath.

"A borderline psychopath is someone that likely has some of the neurological changes in the brain, but not all of them. It is still genetic, and it is still present from birth"

for being angry that someone who dissaproves of her cooking comes to her home at 7am, sees her unclothedness and goes on to demand for food??

are you aware what this even means or you are just throwing in unneeded grammar for whatever reason

Shibaraba:
Husband is weak.....
You can't mess with my nigga o
Nigga wey we don dey street all this days and we probably hustle hard together for you to have a comfortable home you come do am like that
Ill deal with her codedly

My advice for mister husband
Woman wey fit do this one to your friend no go look twice before she lace your food with poison if you do am anything

Japa fast fast.

You’re smart ... many people don’t understand

Ayotemide:
"A borderline psychopath is someone that likely has some of the neurological changes in the brain, but not all of them. It is still genetic, and it is still present from birth"

for being angry that someone who dissaproves of her cooking comes to her home at 7am, sees her unclothedness and goes on to demand for food??

are you aware what this even means or you are just throwing in unneeded grammar for whatever reason

I am very much aware of what it means and I have made the unilateral decision to describe her as one.
She had many options available to her but she opted to “poison him” to prove a point.
Take what you will from this . This is a forum, labels will be attached feel free to disagree it’s your prerogative.

MissRaine69:
Semantics ......It’s childish and she is a borderline psychopath.

She handled it the way she thought was best for her and her husband.

The easy way, or the hard way...there must be a way!

adanny01:
One of the problems i had was my friend didnt know how to check his wife and she couldn't check him either. Say my friend is buying Suya for 1k and there are 5 people in the house. He buys 2 wraps of N500 each, one portion he takes to his babe in the room and the other he drops it for the boys and himself. Later the babe chop she no fit finish, the left over is brought out for the boys. Knowing that half the portion is in the room, i will not eat the suya at all cause i dont eat left overs and deserve some respect. I prefer her serve me even if its 2 pieces, she can eat the rest but never to bring out left overs from the room. I grew up from a house that when my father buys something, my mum shares portions for every one who is interested. If this girl cannot correct her hubbys wrong, infact she is worst than him.

This situation youve highlighted is so embarrassing. It seems the man is so in love that he forgot his manners, not offending you purposely

I personally find it difficult to deal with people showing up unannounced. even growing up i didnt like my parents calling me out to greet whoever who just showed up. let alone someone waking up by what time and appearing at 7am without warning.

The husband should have given his friend a correct orientation (in private) rather than leaving it to get to the extent of his wife poisoning him with pepper. And he's even joining and laughing. Lol what a guy! Is he afraid of his friend? His own "we hustled together in the sun and rain" friend? If he's so close to you he's supposed to understand that you've entered a different stage of life.

In fact thats the most bothersome part of the story. When they have children now the man will leave her to cane all of them and he will follow her and be laughing

Maybe we should consider it from the opposite angle. Because if im at a married friends house and the man comes back, i'll just wrap up the conversation until next time. Two of us will even be tense now that he is back lol. Not that guys should do this but i think a little more consideration is required

If a married woman has a female friend showing up all the time, the man will simply ban her from the house or start making snide remarks "doesnt she have what to do" "is your friend not married again" "its like i will leave this house for two of you oh!" And you will have to awkwardly explain it to your girlfriend

Your best friend! Your padi! Your sister from another mister! your "niggerette" who two of your suffered under the sun and rain! Shared one cup of garri a day! Wore each others clothes to church! Bla bla!!

And hope that she doesnt take it a wrong way. Otherwise its to go wailing all over whatsapp that youve "changed", you think youve passed her level now that youve married that man, na me wey introduce them sef, now i don turn to badluck pikin abi? and all other lamentations!

Will the man care? No!

nkwuocha:
Naaaa!Only a weak man think like you do, trust me.I don't keep friends, as i see no need to.My success today is attributed majorly to less friends i keep.I drink with them in bars and thats where it ends.They dont need to address my wife the way they feel, just as i wont disrespect even their side chicks.A friend in need is a friend indeed does not apply when he comes to my marital home unannounced then have the effrontery to disrespect my wife.Its only a foolish and stupid man thinks the value of his friends supercedes the sanity of his wife/family.Learn this;

Freddy Heineken:
There are two ways a man can be rich in this world, he can have a lot of money, or he can have a lot of friends. But he cannot have both.

And you probably believe that having money is better than having friends. I pity that woman who consents to marry you, cos one day you will sell her for money!

piroux:
I hope you aren't allergic to pepper?

Honestly though, that isn't how respect works. A lot of us need to go back home and learn courtesy. Your brother's wife is not your wife and even your wife has limits she can endure. I think men believe all married women just love being in the kitchen. They don't. It's not bad to visit someone with alternatives or say "Please, don't bother, I won't stay long" Read the expressions of your host, know when you graduate from friend to nuisance.
Haven't you had friends who helped you in the past but have graduated to big babies? I do. You might be able to bear with them, don't expect others to.
And please, there's nothing honourable about cooking. For some people, it's just work, not fun.

You caused me to ask for the redefinition of RESPECT

1.a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
2.due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others.

I reiterate that asking something of you directly is showing respect to you.

To show you lack of respect is to ask your husband like in this case to command you to make breakfast for me.

Before i ask you for anything, i must have had the feeling that you are capable of fullfiling my wishes. I must have admired that ability in you and that you possess such quality. What again is respect?

With regards to the bolded, let me give a personal story. I had a friend who was a neighbor back when we were teenagers. He always comes to our house and often times he is quite precise as i was about to eat dinner. He never refuses the offer to eat. I grew angry at his attitude and would hide my portion of the food before he reaches the door. Infact, my sisters would alert me knowing i needed the info to hide my food.

Now, the problem was not sharing my food. I was happy to share with him but i had a fixed portion. It means i will not get satisfied of the food and may need to find something else to eat. On the other hand, i never eat at his house cause their food is wack. I know for a fact that he never says no to our food because he also finds his own home's food wack.

Even if he shows up and denies me of satisfaction, he does so with respect for the taste and quality of food in my house.

Did i ever, treat him like they dont have food in their house, no? In fact i will lose his respect if he ever finds out i felt that way about sharing my food with him.

Let me bore you more, i have a very good University roommate that i sever all ties with partly for a loaf of bread and series of inhumane attitude with regards to food and money. All my food stuff and groceries were accessible to him, the problem is when i have, i am careless. He on the other hand never brings or buys provisions or food stuff. Leaving cash in the bank. When we are through with all i have, we are no longer friends. He eats at the cafeteria and change friends. We both were totally broke one time, his brother was sent from home. He brought cash for him a big loaf of bread and Blueband magerine. I was hungry and weak. They bought themselves soft drink, ate the bread and magerine. I sat there and there was no offer. We shared the same locker, so after they went out, i proceeded to have a bite of the bread. Lo and behold, my friend locked the bread and magerine inside his traveling bag! Fast forward days later, over half of the bread got spoilt right in his bag, he had to shamefully discard it. I almost shed tears but that was the end of the road. Till today, he has asked me several times how he has offended me but i refused to talk cause they were tiny hurtful experiences about food or money.

My mum used to say, food is an unprocessed shit, never be stingy with it.

If a woman is tired and cannot cook, the husband understands when she says so, who is the visitor that will say she must cook?

Besides, someone is in my home 7am, which wife will say she is tired at 7am? Besides, its not that the story said she is tired of cooking.