₦airaland Forum

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

You are not marrying her out of pity, you love this lady and she is got a hold on you.
You know deep down she loves you for who you are and not what you are.

Your only problem is that you consider her not to be book smart or street smart but she is way smarter than you bro. That's why you can't let go. She is got you. Send for her once you settle and brush her up.She might posses an undeveloped skill set that will save your ass in the future when you go through the winters of life.

Speaking from experience bro!

She could be your soul mate. I was once faced with a situation as you are, I decided to marry her and believe me, she is learning fast and I am even getting to understand that I must have misjudged her cos I never allowed her the opportunity to manifest.
My reticular activating system (RAS) kept focusing on everything bad about her and never saw the angel God specially crafted for me.

She is everything a man wants in a woman and more but I almost lost this cos I wasn't looking at the right place. Forget what your friends will think. Brush her up and get her away from her folks that wants nothing but destroy her sense of self worth and respect.

Do a DNA test and wash your face clear of your pre-programmed RAS. She could be a raw gold dump you are not considering cos you are looking for an already refined gold. The most important question is can she build you a good home you will be happy to return to any time you are away? Give you peace of heart. That's key.

Her family is messed up not her. Don't let her family mess her and your kids up. You once saw something in her despite her poor background. So ask yourself what it was you saw that you can't let go.

If I had let go of my wife then cos she was not a graduate, came from poor and the likes, I would have ended up making the greatest mistake ever.

Peace of mind in marriage is key. Show her the help to meet and help her meet those needs. Don't write her off.

Shalom

Op didn't ask for blames and insults. He need solution.

My advice, take good good care of the girl till she deliver the babies, after that , go for paternity test. If the kids are yours , take good care of them and the girl till she marry if you can.

Don't marry out of pity. If you do both of you will never enjoy the marriage and this might affect the kids and family as a whole.

A male friend of mine was in this kind of situation 9 years ago, he was forced to marry the girl. They got married but the girl was in bondage for 6 years, the guy doesn't not introduce her as his wife, they don't talk often, he has a girlfriend he love outside. So he doesn't make love to her.

They were like flat mate.

The guy later walked out of d marriage and remarry someone he loves.

The lady too remarried.

Last last everybody dey OK.

Op, don't marry out of pity, just take care of her very till she find someone who loves her.

Am not justifying op act, but l just feel he needs advise not crucification.

May God direct you.

You’re a horrible person.
I couldn’t count how many instances in your story that made me cringe. So you met her at 19 and dated for 2 years so she’s 21? It’s a 21 year old girl that you’re expecting to be mature like your age?

You used her in every possible way.
You will pay for it

sirdouglas:
Oga she is really not a beauty if that is what you are implying. And while I was in Nigeria, I was doing really good for myself. I could afford girls for more beautiful than her. I met few, if you read through my post you will see that I said in the first few lines that I date at that time for the sole purpose of marriage. I WANTED TO MARRY HER BRO!!! .....why are you people so mean and heartless?? Even before I met her I know I will be traveling. And I told her as soon as the time is right. I told her almost a year before I travelled and you saying all this is very bad of you and tell more the kind of person you are.

If it happens to be your sister and you decides to do away with the pregnancy I wouldn't object to it. The blood will be on your head. Those kids are not a mistake despite the situation. You are telling me in other words that I should have aborted the twins?? Really?
Well, I leave you to your conscience. Like I said from the beginning. Getting married to her is not completely out of the table but I wish I could find an alternative to save the day.

I wouldn't descend to your level to trade words with you but I know that I am not a bad person and I never for once wish evil for that girl or planned anything that would hurt her.

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

What were you expecting from a 19 year old? There's bound to be some immaturity no matter how intelligent they are.

Her brother beating her up speaks very poorly of them and obvious they lack discipline in their home. It seems anything goes

From what you said, she comes across as a simple naive girl who does not take things too serious. She seems lacks and careless or is it carefree.

The fault to a large extent is yours. You know she's young and almost from the start, you knew she was not the girl for you. Why then did you continue the relationship.

I don't think the child is yours. I feel she's been trying to trap you but failed. I'm sure the baby thing was intentional but once she happened, reality struck her and she became petrified.

Do not marry her if you don't love her. Shotgun weddings don't work. But if the kids are confirmed as yours after a DNA test, accept them and send enough money home to take care of them and their mother. Let her know you don't want marriage at all.

Exactly

daddytime:
Go and sit your nonsense ass down.

Go look for oyibo or slay queen marry, when your eye clear na double knee you go take cry come look for this mgbeke.

You are a cunning, deceptive and self-centered predator who fed fat on the naive girls innocence.

You dey look for people wey wan tell you wetin you want hear to justify your actions.

Nonsense an ingredients.

[quote author=sirdouglas post=79984407][/quote]Rule 1 Relationship 101
Never have anything to do with someone you can't marry.


Well this isn't a straight forward scenery you've painted but I'd say if the children are proven yours then it's more complicated. She loves you, you have feelings for her too or at least you care enough not to watch her suffer.

You'd really have to weigh your options with her
1. for your sake (happiness and conscience)
2. for the sake of the children. (how you want them raised)

Will you like them trained by someone from a "disorganized" background (according to your story) without your supervision OR same option under your roof and supervision OR will you deny them their mother's presence completely.
{remember they must look for their father and mother one day}.

No option will be easy sir, and that's entirely your cross to bear. This is your shii man, lap it up.

My take: if kids are yours, brother marry her...

Foolish people don’t see their own foolishness.
He’s so smart yet he kept sleeping without protection with someone he didn’t want to marry. Repeatedly.

You’re a OP

ImaIma1:
If she is not fit for you to marry, she should not be fit for you to sleep with. Now you have complicated her life and you want to run.

Where do you want her to start from with two children? You probably don't like the idea of marrying a single mother. And you have put her in that status. She has that single mother "Nigerian curse" hanging over her head.

Her family is bad. If she is with you in whatever country, the influence from her mum should be limited and as she grows, she will get wiser. When you decided to date a 19 year old, you should have known it has down sides too.

She could be the way she is...naive and all because of her age. Though there are many smart ladies her age but she is different. You could help develop on that.

You didn't try. You point fingers and say she's not smart. Meanwhile you kept sleeping with her without protection even as you say you don't love her and didn't intend to marry her.

What does that say about you too?

guy you knew that the girl is from Anambra State yet you dated her and even sleep with her without protection. I wonder how old are you sleeping with 19yrs old instead of you to encourage her to go back to school you are busy sleeping with her and yet you have mouth to say she is not the type of woman you want to marry. you broke up with her three times and yet still accepts her back each she comes begging. see I don't like what I hate
however I like the way you took responsibility of the pregnancy but if that girl were to be your sister will you allow another man to disgrace her like that.
you just ruined the girl's life and yet you have the guts to tell the parents you can't marry her. you are only concerned about the babies from the look of things. Remember what goes around comes around. my simple advice is just marry that girl and train her to become the woman you want, besides you said it yourself that she loves you

sirdouglas:
Oga she is really not a beauty if that is what you are implying. And while I was in Nigeria, I was doing really good for myself. I could afford girls for more beautiful than her. I met few, if you read through my post you will see that I said in the first few lines that I date at that time for the sole purpose of marriage. I WANTED TO MARRY HER BRO!!! .....why are you people so mean and heartless?? Even before I met her I know I will be traveling. And I told her as soon as the time is right. I told her almost a year before I travelled and you saying all this is very bad of you and tell more the kind of person you are.

If it happens to be your sister and you decides to do away with the pregnancy I wouldn't object to it. The blood will be on your head. Those kids are not a mistake despite the situation. You are telling me in other words that I should have aborted the twins?? Really?
Well, I leave you to your conscience. Like I said from the beginning. Getting married to her is not completely out of the table but I wish I could find an alternative to save the day.

I wouldn't descend to your level to trade words with you but I know that I am not a bad person and I never for once wish evil for that girl or planned anything that would hurt her.

And doing it raw was not a mistake.?
Stop talking with two sides of you mouth.
The kids were a mistake the genesis of which was you making a mistake by not wearing condoms.

You took advantage of that girl. You ought to be wiser.

sirdouglas:
In as much as you are trying to be mean. I understand your point. For the record, I am not a boy. I will appreciate if you address me with more respect.

Marrying her will not be such a bad idea but we may not enjoy the marriage. Especially her. She has said it over time that she knows that I don't love her. In as much as that is not entirely true, it is not far from it. She doesn't fit my profile for a wife and that is why I have been trying to end the relationship.

If this is coming from a woman I will understand but coming from a guy makes me want to ask you how old you are. Sorry but that's so insensitive of you and immature.

I never meant ill for her and I have been as reasonable and honest I can be with the situation. Judging me won't solve the problem.
What about a girl that a guy rejected for good three times and told her that he doesn't like her for marriage and she is still insisting and keep coming back? It's a two way thingb ro and I am expecting you to be more reasonable with your replies.

So u are a man and u went looking for a 19yrs old girl?
Uncle Uncle

I pray the kids are OPs.
So the burden on this girl will at least be lightened.

When she came back 3 times did she tie you to a post and rape you?

Oh it’s on her for coming back not you the supposedly mature one for not having self control and common sense.

Reading @bold, it’s obvious that She’s better off without you anyway. What type of woman can live a happy life with a misogynistic tool.
Even a dumb 12 year old girl probably has more intelligence than you.

sirdouglas:
In as much as you are trying to be mean. I understand your point. For the record, I am not a boy. I will appreciate if you address me with more respect.

Marrying her will not be such a bad idea but we may not enjoy the marriage. Especially her. She has said it over time that she knows that I don't love her. In as much as that is not entirely true, it is not far from it. She doesn't fit my profile for a wife and that is why I have been trying to end the relationship.

If this is coming from a woman I will understand but coming from a guy makes me want to ask you how old you are . Sorry but that's so insensitive of you and immature.

I never meant ill for her and I have been as reasonable and honest I can be with the situation. Judging me won't solve the problem.
What about a girl that a guy rejected for good three times and told her that he doesn't like her for marriage and she is still insisting and keep coming back? It's a two way thingb ro and I am expecting you to be more reasonable with your replies.

Elliot2:
Brotherly, you have not done so bad by accepting your mistakes and responsibilities. Don't let anyone guilt trip you further than you have done yourself. whatever that has happened has happened. Your only concern should be for the babies on the way,every other mess should be for the lady to bare. Sex and dating must not always lead to marriage;we are like every animal,made for sex which ought to be free. Nobody should be blackmailed for having sex especially when there was consent. I wish you the best sha.

Oga for your own good, Sex is not free. Nature never made it free even for animals. The enjoyment of sex is what nature pays you for procreating. Or rather the trap of sexual enjoyment is natures irresistible ensnarement to get people to procreate.

People have tried all forms of alternatives to sexual enjoyment, with drugs, tools etc but they all fail. Natures measure of the excitement of your brain is so perfect, yet so hard to recreate.

What if the girl dumps the babies in his fathers house and walks away, saying the babies are born, every other mess is for the man? Or you are assuming she can't have the heart to be that ruthless?

The ones you slept with and “condemned”, who will marry them?
And you don’t count yourself among the stupid people?

VirginSearcher:
You won't marry her but you opened her legs and f.vcked the hell out of her, she became pregnant.. who are you leaving a condemned used material for? stupid people everywhere.. I have said it, if not a virgin I'm not marrying especially in Naija

This guy is an arsehole
I just get angrier with every one of his comments each page

daddytime:
Bro, you should have simply allowed that young girl abort that fetus and moved on with her life because it is obvious you already had it all figured out and knew you'd be away for five years hence, your pressure on her to keep the pregnancy as a back up plan for a kid while you are out there exploring other pussayss.

Now tell me, if someone would treat your sister this same way how would you feel or react.

This is cunningly selfish and evil. Pure and simple my guy.

I say it as it is and was presented...

There are pips who hate abortion and he is one of them. It would torture his conscience for the rest of his life. He is ready to accept the children if they are his and that's very noble of him.

The damage has already been done. The way forward is what is key!

sirdouglas:
Thank you a lot dear. You opinion is really really appreciated.

I have really considered that. I am still considering it but I have this believe that people don't really change. They are who they are. I am afraid!! I don't want to die young. She can't f*cking keep a secret. Within the first week she found out that she is pregnant. Even with no tommy to show for it. The whole plaza where I do my business knew about it. I was mad. Barely a week!! Not the first time. Her mother is the first person that knows whatever I tell her then her friends. She listens to side talk. Someone can convince her tomorrow that I am a bad person and she will start acting on it or kill me in my sleep without considering everything I have done for her. Its not just about the moment. I afraid of the future. I don't see her as one who is promiscuous but you know you women

are good at hiding things like this. I never cheated on her. I am terrible at that. She was working for someone around my business area and that's how we met.

There is still enough time to fix this but oh God!! I wish I have the answers.
About the only chance to father a child, that's not true and I forgive you for that. I did it because I have conscience. I know she can't take of the baby all by herself.

U r sounding so proud

cococandy:
The ones you slept with and “condemned”, who will marry them?
And you don’t count yourself among the stupid people?

You are not well, did I tell u I slept with anybody?

sirdouglas:
In as much as you are trying to be mean. I understand your point. For the record, I am not a boy. I will appreciate if you address me with more respect.

Marrying her will not be such a bad idea but we may not enjoy the marriage. Especially her. She has said it over time that she knows that I don't love her. In as much as that is not entirely true, it is not far from it. She doesn't fit my profile for a wife and that is why I have been trying to end the relationship.

If this is coming from a woman I will understand but coming from a guy makes me want to ask you how old you are. Sorry but that's so insensitive of you and immature.

I never meant ill for her and I have been as reasonable and honest I can be with the situation. Judging me won't solve the problem.
What about a girl that a guy rejected for good three times and told her that he doesn't like her for marriage and she is still insisting and keep coming back? It's a two way thingb ro and I am expecting you to be more reasonable with your replies.

No marry any woman at of pity oooo, it will not end well.

I read nothing but I came to post that being a baby momma is the latest trend.
Women love trendy things so she should thank you for adding her to the list.

sirdouglas:
Oga she is really not a beauty if that is what you are implying. And while I was in Nigeria, I was doing really good for myself. I could afford girls for more beautiful than her. I met few, if you read through my post you will see that I said in the first few lines that I date at that time for the sole purpose of marriage. I WANTED TO MARRY HER BRO!!! .....why are you people so mean and heartless?? Even before I met her I know I will be traveling. And I told her as soon as the time is right. I told her almost a year before I travelled and you saying all this is very bad of you and tell more the kind of person you are.

If it happens to be your sister and you decides to do away with the pregnancy I wouldn't object to it. The blood will be on your head. Those kids are not a mistake despite the situation. You are telling me in other words that I should have aborted the twins?? Really?
Well, I leave you to your conscience. Like I said from the beginning. Getting married to her is not completely out of the table but I wish I could find an alternative to save the day.

I wouldn't descend to your level to trade words with you but I know that I am not a bad person and I never for once wish evil for that girl or planned anything that would hurt her.

If you do choose to marry her, Ill advise you wait a few years when she would have matured a lot.

sirdouglas:
Bro, my experience with anambra women is personal and it's cost the life of someone dear to me. If I should tell you the whole story, you wouldn't be saying all this.

I NEVER ABANDONED HER. IT HAS NOT BEEN 3 MONTHS I LEFT OGA AND I HAVE BEEN COMMINICATING WITH HER. HOW ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO HANDLE THIS?? SHOULD I START BABYSITTING HER?? OR STOP BUILDING A FUTURE SO I CAN HELP HER AND THE KIDS??

AM I NOT TRYING? WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE THIS MEAN AND INCONSIDERATE?? AM I NOT HUMAN ?

Human? Yes.
Self-centred? Probably...
It's All about me? Yes.

What may today seem like your course, influenced, maybe not (wholesomely) by your present abode may actually be that which you today reject.

Life is a journey with straights, bends and detours. Care to understand it...no limit to it. If you can practice to change the way you look at her, she that you look at will change. it's all in your psyche, try quit the resistance.

The varied suggested opinions to your course, have all been helpful,
the supportive and otherwise.
Learn from it. By His Grace, more rivers to cross ahead.

If proven you fathered them.
Be responsible, care for them and be supportive to her. Bring that young lady in and share your worlds. Be the architect of your family.
Groom her to suit your idea of a wife, usually best that way. You are opportuned, favored, and blessed if the children are yours. If so, grab her, don't lose her. Love her, and by His Grace you'll smile to the bank of happiness and fulfillment.

Be selfless and wise.
We reap that which we sow.


Blessed be the unborn twins, their mom, and you.

Don't miss the bus.



Alaafia.

And you never thought of using waterproofs when going on combat, now you see, no cover, no protection.







DADDY YO .

Call me for naming , there i can help.

Sirdouglas, what else do you want in a woman, she's respectful, loves you, and above all carrying twins, haaa, please seal up the union fast.

Ask why you kept accepting her back, am sure a part of you can't let go of her, respect that.

I can imagine a little girl like that carrying twins, she's just 21 years old according to your story. Please give her all the support she needs as a husband and father to those innocent kids.

School her to your taste i beg.

I didn't have to read past the first five paragraphs to know that God will judge you if you don't marry that girl asap. You're very juvenile and what is important is the love you share as humans not all that bullshit you're talking. So she's not that educated and you kept fvcking her. You better count yourself lucky, accept her cos you're just being immature.
You're a promiscuous goat if you leave her, who is lying to you that you treat women well, for your mind
What's this issue about igbo people discriminating against themselves. Ive heard it severally. That's a disgusting mindset

Philpham:
OP you will rot in hell forever if you don't marry her. Wicked soul. Its men like you that are the problem of the society. Ewu. Community dick

Please put some respect on my dick
I use condoms every time.

Are you a virgin?

VirginSearcher:
You are not well, did I tell u I slept with anybody?

@sirdouglas
I never bothered reading stories here ,let alone commenting, but I'm somehow pushed to drop just a few line.
She's someone's sister, daughter and mother to be, yes, but you shouldn't take the full fall of the mistake if u don't want to. You have at least shown your humanity by accepting responsibility and have n still willing to take care of it even without the paternity test. Her family should take her in, its their responsibility in the first place to hv kept her sleeping n living with you. Marriage is something u shld enter into freely not out of pity or by compelling circumstances or cajoling. Its not anything biblical (as someone said )that u must marry her cos she's pregnant for you.
As its not of your will to marry her, I'm not seeing any need going for iku aka or ime ego. That will be complicating issues. You don't even need that to claim the kids.
Legally as well as morally, you have not committed any crime, n u re recognised as the father of the kids, n ur obligation is to take care of their upkeep n education. Every other thing will be out of your human compassion.
You re not any monster as some people will like to label you or as u may feel. You have just like any other young man made your mistakes. Don't go living it. Do the best you can do for the mother too n fear not any future repercussion of not marrying her.

Didn't you know she was from Anambra right from the onset? If yes, why did you even start anything with her in the first place?

sirdouglas:
What if I had given her money to do abortion or helped her with it and travel then few years down the line she couldn't conceive or complications from tje abortion claims her life later. Will it be better?? With the kind of condenmination that I am getting from my fellow guys, now I understand why others always choose the easy way out. I hope you know accepting this pregnancy has cost me a great deal? Financially, emotionally, socially and every f*cking part of my being?

Why I don't want to marry from Anambra? I have some personal reasons for that. I didn't just wake up one morning and made that decision.

Keep your mouth lashing to youself. I know your life is perfect but allow me to sort mine in peace. I am not begging for money remember. And don't for a minute that you are more civilized than me. Sh*t do happen and you are suppose to understand that.

If you can't. Mpa nyem efe dia.

I'm not asking this nigga to marry the girl.

I'm just angry about him for being so manipulative.

His psychological profile is bordering on a psychopath.

sirdouglas:
In as much as you are trying to be mean. I understand your point. For the record, I am not a boy. I will appreciate if you address me with more respect.

Marrying her will not be such a bad idea but we may not enjoy the marriage. Especially her. She has said it over time that she knows that I don't love her. In as much as that is not entirely true, it is not far from it. She doesn't fit my profile for a wife and that is why I have been trying to end the relationship.

If this is coming from a woman I will understand but coming from a guy makes me want to ask you how old you are. Sorry but that's so insensitive of you and immature.

I never meant ill for her and I have been as reasonable and honest I can be with the situation. Judging me won't solve the problem.
What about a girl that a guy rejected for good three times and told her that he doesn't like her for marriage and she is still insisting and keep coming back? It's a two way thingb ro and I am expecting you to be more reasonable with your replies.

First of all the thunder wey go fire u dey for T junction dey wait for the right time. For.even saying u will never marry from Anambra state. Na the girl.pursue u abi na u toasted.her. u are lucky.
If she is mu sister I for don use odieshi bring u back to Niger or keep u useless in abroad there. Idiot .