CableWire:
Very unpredictive, unfinding, unstable like water kind of dude.
Please just don't allow me say a prayer for you... You are simply disgusting!
And I just blamed the poor girl for giving so much (2years of her life) to an unsuspecting dog...please take your crap-time and read your piece again.
1. she's not smart
2.Uneducative
3. 19 years *simply not your spec*
4. Doesn't know what she wants
5. Gossip
6. Mummy's girl
7. Doesn't have her own say
8. Undemanding *a juu girl*
9. You don't like her family
10. You hate to marry from her state but never cared to tell us your state....etc

In fact, your list of debate is unending buh you sniffed beyond all these negatives and impregnated her with those loads. Now, you are here lamenting. How many of us here did you consult when you were scooping the cream even on 3semesters?

Guy, just go and own up to your responsibilities or else, you will regret it.

Karma is a female dog with hot red hole!

He's definitely Imo

sirdouglas:


What if I had given her money to do abortion or helped her with it and travel then few years down the line she couldn't conceive or complications from tje abortion claims her life later. Will it be better?? With the kind of condenmination that I am getting from my fellow guys, now I understand why others always choose the easy way out. I hope you know accepting this pregnancy has cost me a great deal? Financially, emotionally, socially and every f*cking part of my being?

Why I don't want to marry from Anambra? I have some personal reasons for that. I didn't just wake up one morning and made that decision.

Keep your mouth lashing to youself. I know your life is perfect but allow me to sort mine in peace. I am not begging for money remember. And don't for a minute that you are more civilized than me. Sh*t do happen and you are suppose to understand that.

If you can't. Mpa nyem efe dia.

for the sake of the unborn twins please marry the young girl and I promise you that it will be the best decision you ever make..your story is similar to mine and have grown to love her ,our 3rd wedding anniversary is a few weeks from now and i always thank God for helping me to choose her over my then diaspora gf..help her with her flaws and love her you will be surprised at the rate she will improve.
now that you're away make sure you get an apartment for her ,pay her dowry and after a year put her in school and I promise you ,you will be proud to call her your wife

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

When you make a choice get ready for the result, why have sex with who you are not married to? This has become normal. You don't expect nothing else but these..

Olanireti:
First you were wrong to be sleeping with her without protection when you knew you wouldn't want to marry her, and you didn't even know her health status. What if she had infected you with HIV?

On the other hand, you did the right thing for taking the responsibility of the pregnancy even though you have doubt if the pregnancy is yours. Nevertheless, I will suggest you wait till after delivery and do paternity test so you be so certain you are the father of the kids.


You are lucky the parents are not forcing you to marry their daughter after you impregnated(if you are indeed responsible) her. Biblically, you are expected to marry her once you have impregnated her, but I will leave you to make your own decision concerning that as you will solely be responsible for your action. Nevertheless, one of the biggest mistakes anybody can make concerning marriage is marrying out of pity. It hardly work as the relationship is not based on the right foundations.

Finally, if the paternity is confirmed to be you and you decided not to marry her, make sure you take 100% responsibility of the kids. I wish you all the best

sirdouglas:


What if I had given her money to do abortion or helped her with it and travel then few years down the line she couldn't conceive or complications from tje abortion claims her life later. Will it be better?? With the kind of condenmination that I am getting from my fellow guys, now I understand why others always choose the easy way out. I hope you know accepting this pregnancy has cost me a great deal? Financially, emotionally, socially and every f*cking part of my being?

Why I don't want to marry from Anambra? I have some personal reasons for that. I didn't just wake up one morning and made that decision.

Keep your mouth lashing to youself. I know your life is perfect but allow me to sort mine in peace. I am not begging for money remember. And don't for a minute that you are more civilized than me. Sh*t do happen and you are suppose to understand that.

If you can't. Mpa nyem efe dia.

Shut up my friend!
You are asking what if you killed you own kids? Chances are the lady will be fine and have her own children.

But the spirits of your forefather will keep chasing you down the lane of life for the blood that will keep crying out against their own father! 10 years down the line you will still be wondering what happened to all the ambition. You are a very selfish person!

No women is perfect. Better still women unlike men are easily moldable. By all your acts you have committed yourself to a woman, better go take to last step and build your home.

In terms of paternity. Better go check, in Igbo culture you cannot claim children from a woman you did not wed. This girl is still fixated on you, that's why you are talking all this rubbish. Know that such young pregnant single girls are a target of impotent men. She too can decide not to marry for love and you will never set your eyes on those kids ever again. You seem to think you are doing her and her family some favour, instead of yourself.

Forget the silly advises being thrown at you by most folks . Don’t marry that girl


Only mature and reasonable people will understand your story .

you're what people called very good bad guy


she's not educated, she's from Onitsha anambra state A for apple B for ball


you didn't know all this before you started penetrating her Abi? you these grown up guys that date young girls sef una matter tire me


you save yourself by paying the child antenatal or else if that girl curse you, one shirt you no go bring come Nigeria. at this point stop telling her you won't get married to her and your intention in regards of marriage should be hidden for now. pls don't let thinking kill that small girl, let her born in peace


if you like marry out of pity or not, is not anyone problem. I can't swallow your words without listening to the girl story


my advise is all the talk of marriage should come after her delivery. if you can't marry her, once you'd paternity test and you confirm the kids are yours then is easy to tell her you're done. just know you've gotten yourself a lifetime expenditures


congrats in advance

Your write up just deserve one question apart from the fact that you got the girl on a platter of Gold and thus you don't value her presence, even when it is difficult for you to woo a woman .. that's why she always came back to you as a line guy. And the question is ; what do you want gan gan. Indecision is just your problem. On the other hand, no br the same girl u met and your paper became easy and you found yourself outside of Nigeria? Have you seen goodluck before? You just enjoyed one. You are ur best adviser here.

I'll suggest you marry that woman. By the way, love is not wen you are attracted to a woman, It's how well you guys respect and adore each other living together.
So, in a nutshell, she is uneducated, poorly dressed, etc. Yes! Who said you cannot groom a woman to what you want/desire..Believe me, you will like that gal by the time you Behind her all round

Brother, by the time your smart blood mix with her Olodo blood, she will be smart by fire by force. Na your wife from heaven be that, carry your cross and bear the wrought

[sub][/sub]

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

why did you expose your traveling abroad to her when you know she always tell her mum everything... Did you know if her mom or Friends advice her to get pregnant for you so that you both must be connected.. Look at the timing of the pregnancy and the time you told her you will be traveling.. I smell something nasty there..bro..its a plan to get you to marry her by all means...if its not the plan of both the mother and daughter.. The mother would have been mad at you for telling them you don't want to marry her..come to think of it..she already told her mum u don't have interest marrying her and u want to go to obodo oyibo..nna dem play u...just be careful with such family bcus they can go to any length.. (Diabolic) were chinekenna were mere fence of defence GI or else..ntor ga bu aha GI.. U know our Nigerian mother don't play with abroad husband, well shit happens bro, when she finally give birth, find out if they are your product, if they are nna just look for a way and fix the mistake by making sure u always make her happy or if possible marry her and give her rules..and put her in the best school,she will definitely learn,and there is no way u will leave those children if they are yours and be fulfil bro..one day,,u must look for them no matter what bcus its your blood.something must surely come up that will make u look for them, marrying another wife if those seed are yours is like polygamy and the bible condemned such,infact following the bible if those children are yours..baba u must marry her and killing them at the early state bible is against it too... so u are stuck inbetween. Just be prayerful... If possible get a prophet that will always guide spiritually and pray for u...I rest my case

bro i wish God could open your eyes and you see how He has bless you through this girl you called 'naive'

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

Wetin do anambra gels because e get one anambra chic wey I luv gan and she fit into this characteristics wey you natrate.Abeg mentioned me.

Hmmmm..... not complicated. Bro.... your problem is your emotions have taken over. When you can put that aside.... your eyes will clear.
Fair enough... you know she is not the one for you.... but want to compensate by providing for her. That's ok.
She infected you with gonorrhea.... that tells you she been having sex with one or more other guys. If it weren't for the infection... would you have known? Pregnancy... why do you think she will be in a rush to abort? That's the first sign that the baby is not likely to be yours. Next... one boy... they can recognize she is getting a boy.... but didn't notice the twin? Can you explain that? Bro... take marriage out of your thoughts..... DNA test is what you should be waiting for. Tell her about that... and I'm almost sure she would find reasons why it must not be done.
You are on the highway to Misery.... last exit.... what will you do? That's you r choice.

sirdouglas:


You mean I should keep paying child support if the child is not mine??

After all I have spent already and the abuse I have passed through? It's better be a joke.

Just imagine the kind of nonsense that is coming out of some worthless fools here to imagine the feeling when it was all over the place that I impregnated a girl. It can't be for nothing or hell will let loose. That's more or less character assassination. I don't want to talk about the emotional trauma.

I have been reading some of your responses.

You don't need to get insultive, you asked for public opinions and you are getting it.

Some people are "generous" with the bitter truth. Or you think anyone will say you are trying after fvking a girl that you clearly don't intend to marry till she got pregnant?

Normally you should marry that girl...but marriage is not something you do out of pity or both of you will never be happy.

The only thing you can do is confirm if the twins are yours. Take care of them the best you can. Again, it will be better to help the girl with a business or her schooling (if you can) because you have turned her to a "secondhand" material. It is hard for single mothers in Nigeria.

raphroye:
You're not ready to marry her because she's not intelligent enough.

You contracted a disease from her.

You broke up with her three times and you took her back again.

You had the chance to set her free before she got pregnant but your dick won't let you free her, now you told her not to abort the pregnancy, even after you made her realized that you cannot marry her.

You went to see her family that you're responsible for her pregnancy, but you cannot marry her ( Now you're saying her family is bad after you impregnated their daughter and still have the guts to tell them that you cannot marry her)

Now, you're here asking us if you should marry her out of pity?? if i slap you ehn! How would you feel as a parent if a boy impregnates your daughter and still have the guts to tell you that he cannot marry her?
oloshi ni e ( stupid boy) You better send your family over to her place and marry your wife...

l

The story just tire me.....

Life... so full of surprises...

I can feel your good heart and good-will while reading your post. But the truth is that, something huge has happened (I can never call it a mistake - children are never mistakes), and you have to accept the responsibility.

Since you have said you are sure are responsible for the pregnancy, then I will write accordingly:

What you did to that girl (I will say you because I imagine that you are the older one here) is very very bad - you impregnated her ( with twins for Christ sake!) and you don’t want to marry her.

Not only that, you have the effrontery to say “I have a future I am building... blah blah”. Well done, Mr Future, I hope you can see how everything is planning out just like you have drawn it.

You might be good, but your post reeks of selfishness, pride, arrogance, and worst part - EVIL. You think you are the only one that has a future? Only you? Not the girl, not the kids? You want them to grow up without the presence of a father, without a home?!!!

I live and work in Europe with my family and I am blessed with two girls. I must confess, if any man tries this with any of my girls, I am going to shoot him on his face and/or ensure he doesn’t use the rod between his two legs again.

So, you want some advice, but you are angry when you get one that doesn’t suit you, anyways, since you asked for it :

1) You have impregnated the girl - this makes her your responsibility and the children. Thank God you are capable financially.
2) Since you are a Christian, the Bible mandates you to marry her - simple and case closed.
3) How you will deal with the marriage would be your business, either you support her, teach her or educate her is left to you. If you make a mess again, you will be the one to pack it up again - alone.

Just in case the girl and their family are telling lies or intends to take advantage of you - arrest them and charge them of extortion and intent to steal.

First of all my dear, to mould a woman into the type of woman you desire you'd actually need a woman first not a girl.

I wonder why you had to bring this to NL knowing full well that you've had everything figured out.

Why do you people always have unprotected sex with people that you cannot marry? Is it that you guys are not correct upstairs in the head, or you're being remote controlled from the village? How much is durex that you could not afford? Now, see your life. See how messed up your life is about to be?

papiforreal:

I tell you bro. Imagine blaming a 19 years old for keep coming back to him.
He's just stupid and foolish as the girl..
Girl are naturally not sound and strong like men.
He's older and more matured than her and he allowed to be making such blunder.
The guy is just wicked wallahi.

he is not just stupid and foolish, but also very very useless! I blame d girls family weh no reset ur face for getting their daughter pregnant and refusing to marry her. Look at d useless excuses he gave sef! OP u are not wise at all! Why Bleep her without cd wen u know u wont marry her?

the op is just an arrogant son of a b*tch, look at what he type and the arrogant reply he is dishing out to people on this forum .. I no blame you shall na the useless girl wey open leg for someone like u is to be blame.

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

don't ever marry out of pity. Give her money to take care of the kids. And dont conclude on how people of different background behaves n use it as a yardstick not to marry there. People marry from Onitsha ,anambra and things go fine. There r positive n negative behaviours from all ethnicity.

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

So with all this ur big grammar u don't know about condoms? Pity or not u must marry her, u can get divorced later ooo

I admire the fact that you took responsibility, honestly speaking not a lot of guys would've done that. Plus I get what you tried to do with the breakup and coing back and all, can't blaim you for the results.
Now about the kids, if they're and turn out to be yours I think the custody stuff should be shared cause every child needs both parents. And again if the family is just as messed up as you say, then I don't think either she or the kids need that kind of toxicity. (Just my opinion though)

cnonyechi:

So with all this ur big grammar u don't know about condoms? Pity or not u must marry her, u can get divorced later ooo

This op na mumu.
You wan nack you no use condom
You don nack finish you no place her on morning after pill.

He just destroyed this girls life.

How did he even get to the abroad sef?
Cos him mumu no be here.

sirdouglas:


Thanks bro. Sleeping with her without condom was my fault but I trusted her. They can't force me because they know I could have chosen the easy way out and endanger the life of their daughter in the process if I wanted to. I am doing everything I think is the right thing though I am not sure of the paternity yet. I felt that she giving birth to twins means something but now you have said it. I will still go for paternity test to remove any form of doubt. I am not coming back any time soon so I wouldn't say I don'twant the kids. After delivery, wouldn't it be late to lay claim on the children??

U r very wicked now dat u are dumping d young girl with twins at dis stage of her life, who do u think will now marry her. After making her second class citizen u now want to run away. Later u will get married to someone else and she will be there carry d stigma of teenage pregnancy

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

You don't want to marry her but you can have sex with her, abi? See you can't eat your cake and have it. Take her abroad, send her to school. Train her. Adios!

sirdouglas:


In as much as you are trying to be mean. I understand your point. For the record, I am not a boy. I will appreciate if you address me with more respect.

Marrying her will not be such a bad idea but we may not enjoy the marriage. Especially her. She has said it over time that she knows that I don't love her. In as much as that is not entirely true, it is not far from it. She doesn't fit my profile for a wife and that is why I have been trying to end the relationship.

If this is coming from a woman I will understand but coming from a guy makes me want to ask you how old you are. Sorry but that's so insensitive of you and immature.

I never meant ill for her and I have been as reasonable and honest I can be with the situation. Judging me won't solve the problem.
What about a girl that a guy rejected for good three times and told her that he doesn't like her for marriage and she is still insisting and keep coming back? It's a two way thingb ro and I am expecting you to be more reasonable with your replies.

She doesn't fit ur profile for a wife but she does for a sex mate and u kept on shaggging her unprotected u be mumu.

Bbbwings:


This op na mumu.
You wan nack you no use condom
You don nack finish you no place her on morning after pill.

He just destroyed this girls life.

How did he even get to the abroad sef?
Cos him mumu no be here.

I wonder ooo

sirdouglas:


What if I had given her money to do abortion or helped her with it and travel then few years down the line she couldn't conceive or complications from tje abortion claims her life later. Will it be better?? With the kind of condenmination that I am getting from my fellow guys, now I understand why others always choose the easy way out. I hope you know accepting this pregnancy has cost me a great deal? Financially, emotionally, socially and every f*cking part of my being?

Why I don't want to marry from Anambra? I have some personal reasons for that. I didn't just wake up one morning and made that decision.

Keep your mouth lashing to youself. I know your life is perfect but allow me to sort mine in peace. I am not begging for money remember. And don't for a minute that you are more civilized than me. Sh*t do happen and you are suppose to understand that.

If you can't. Mpa nyem efe dia.

Brotherly, you have not done so bad by accepting your mistakes and responsibilities. Don't let anyone guilt trip you further than you have done yourself. whatever that has happened has happened. Your only concern should be for the babies on the way,every other mess should be for the lady to bare. Sex and dating must not always lead to marriage;we are like every animal,made for sex which ought to be free. Nobody should be blackmailed for having sex especially when there was consent. I wish you the best sha.

M