₦airaland Forum

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

grossintel:
Bro, I won't insult you. But what you're doing to that girl is very wicked and inhuman. Before you enter any relationship, I repeat, look very well and observe the lady first! Take her out, spend sometime talking to her, while she's talking observe how she speaks, her sense of reasoning, ask her intelligent questions, I didn't say you should conduct an interview but be reasonable. You're doing this to cause you need to know if this person is good enough for you.

You turned that kid to a sex mate, because she's inexperienced, young and vulnerable! Now you get her pregnant and forming you don't want to marry out of pitty, who are you leaving her for! You dey Yankee now, so the naija hustling guys can marry the girl you wrecked her pvssy while you chop thight oyibo there?

Guy you're very insensitive and selfish and very proud! Go and claim your property, if you want her to speak well invest in her education. She sounds like a homely girl that can do anything to please you, she can learn to be the best of herself but only if you give her a chance.

grandstar:
There are pips who hate abortion and he is one of them. It would torture his conscience for the rest of his life. He is ready to accept the children if they are his and that's very noble of him.

The damage has already been done. The way forward is what is key!

UzomaFC:
Bros if it's possible for U, go n seek Gods face and ask the holy spirt to guide U and direct Ur decisions wo that U won't make a terrible decision that U ll regret in the future. I want U to be sincere and determined to seek Gods counseling about it.

Again meet an elder that U knw that's wise and also seek counsel for bible says with many counsels one will go2 war and conquer.

I also pray that U be patient n never leave tbe presence of God until he answers U. and don't let any1 make U take wrong steps in this issues.

Note b4 U strt, U ll need to repent of ur sins n both the young girl for both of U hv sinned because U both committed fornication because the scripture says "Marriage is honorable but bed undefiled.

Seek to knw what He thinks about it or what He wants to use this situation to teach U.

because U sd U ll not marry from Anambra meaning U re still bearing unforgiviness in Ur spirt. And maybe God wants to teach U 1 or 2 things to show He is the master planner.

Am a proud father of 3 by Gods grace so am talking from what life has thought via Gods plan n purpose.

Thanks n Regards.

sirdouglas:


You see how offended you are?? I haven't started yet. I am just judging based on what you said. Maybe if you give me an insight about what you did to the girl you impregnated at 14 maybe It can help me figure out this.

This is to tell how much of a hypocrite you are. Tell the world how you handled the baby a perverted fellow like you impregnated at the age of 14 that I am still struggling for my junior waec and class position. I am interested and I am sure a lot of people here will like to know.

mcocolok:
Abeg leave that zombie , he don give girl belle finish he run go abroad . Thunder fire am . He still get mouth to dey call the family useless family and disorganize but him prick dey organized abi. The guy is so proud and full of shit. Just small jab wey dem throw give am, he no one descend to people level . He think say he dey talk to secondary school students . We dey vex for naira land oooo

ReeLoaDead:
This OP na bad guy ... quickly glancing at his profile shows that he was even nacking his secretary.

AstroG:
What's you point now??

sirdouglas:
You don't want to be mention yet you commented knowing fully well that I reply both to insult and advice.
You are funny. Really funny.

Now read through your comment and tell what you said a person in my shoe should do??

You said nothing but insult me but afraid to be mentioned. That's guilty conscience dear.

I don't have anything to say to you anyway. The decision is mine at the end of the day and whatever comes out of it is mine to bear.

sirdouglas:
You don't want to be mention yet you commented knowing fully well that I reply both to insult and advice.
You are funny. Really funny.

Now read through your comment and tell what you said a person in my shoe should do??

You said nothing but insult me but afraid to be mentioned. That's guilty conscience dear.

I don't have anything to say to you anyway. The decision is mine at the end of the day and whatever comes out of it is mine to bear.

ReeLoaDead:
This OP na bad guy ... quickly glancing at his profile shows that he was even nacking his secretary.

sirdouglas:
You can see how people with perfect lives are condemning me already. I doubt if some of them read all that I said.

The thing is this, I will be spending at least 5 years abroad. I am sure I am spending five years there because I decided it and I am not living illegally so I will only leave when I want to. She knows that too. I said at least because I don't know what tomorrow holds and I really don't want to be in Nigeria anytime soon and I just left. Barely three months now.

I can't keep her waiting and the two kids is going to make it really difficult. It would have been easier if it is one.

What I am asking is, I don't know anambra traditions very well but there are parts that won't let you go with the child if you didn't pay the bride price or iku aka I really don't know how the whole thing is done and whoever that marries the girl goes with the child. I really want her to get married and I am really sorry this is happening but I wouldn't want to lose my claim on my kids if finally they are mine to anyone or situation.

sirdouglas:
What if I had given her money to do abortion or helped her with it and travel then few years down the line she couldn't conceive or complications from tje abortion claims her life later. Will it be better?? With the kind of condenmination that I am getting from my fellow guys, now I understand why others always choose the easy way out. I hope you know accepting this pregnancy has cost me a great deal? Financially, emotionally, socially and every f*cking part of my being?

Why I don't want to marry from Anambra? I have some personal reasons for that. I didn't just wake up one morning and made that decision.

Keep your mouth lashing to youself. I know your life is perfect but allow me to sort mine in peace. I am not begging for money remember. And don't for a minute that you are more civilized than me. Sh*t do happen and you are suppose to understand that.

If you can't.Mpa nyem efe dia.

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

ucham:
Calm down nwanne.
Don't return fire for fire, this is a public forum. Don't let your emotions get the better of you. If you stand to stone every dog that barks at you, you won't go very far.

Now to the point, first of all, the deed has been done. It's to late for "I should have", and "if only's". Here are my suggestions for the way forward.

It is clear that if she is really carrying your kids and gives birth to those kids, her life will never be the same as a single mother especially in Nigeria. It's hard enough for single ladies to get married these days not to talk of a lady who has not one but two children.

In as as much as I commend your taking responsibility for your bouts of copulation with her, it must also be said that she herself cannot be free of the blame. She was a willing participant.

I commend you for not advising her to abort, because if she had, and things went south, the same feminists here screaming it's her body and her choice would have come for your neck to impress it on you that you are responsible for whatever bad may have resulted.

What i feel is that, you should be willing to be more selfless. I know you have your spec and all, life is not always as we plan. From all your submission, it's clear that her major flaw is naivety, indecisiveness, and that she feeds on a diet of gossip. These are not admirable traits, but they are not grossly 'unmanageable' traits. Like many have suggested you can touche her up. Thank heavens you yourself admitted you love some things about her. Most importantly, there is no guarantee you are gonna find that right woman, and even if you do, no guarantees she's not gonna be a devil.

Most importantly think of the children within the context of Nigeria. Think of the prejudice attached towards being born out of wedlock. From what i can gather so far about you, I don't think you will want your kids to be raised that way. The stigma for children born out of wedlock in Nigeria is just too much a factor to ignore. Think of the future of the children growing up without both parents.

Both of you have sown your seed, the honorable thing to do will be to reap it. While you both try to enjoy your life together as best as you can without making your kids pay for your mistake.

This sword is sharp on both ends, if you decide not to marry her and still provide for her, here's what will happen:
She'll most likely never get married,
Your children will be stigmatized,
And the possibility of having future fracas between
Legitimate kids and the others who are not.

If you do decide to marry her,
She may never change from being an 'mgbeke'.
She may become the person you've always wished for.
You may or may not always enjoy the marriage, but at least your children would be raised under the confines of your home.

It's really a case of the devil and the deep blue sea. It's a tough decision. You just have to choose what you can live with.

But with the facts you've presented so far, I'll suggest you marry her. At least you don't hate her. You may eventually come to love her, or not. Remember that no marriage is perfect o, even with the perfect spec own. And nothing is ever guaranteed. If you marry her, both of you pay for your mistakes not the kids.

All the best

daddytime:
Judging from your narrative, it is safe to say the young girl is a 'beauty without brains' whatever that means, and I'm sure her beauty was what got you hooked before you tasted the pie and subsequently realized she wasn't so smart.

Bro, I'm going to be straight up with you like I always do man...Selfish and self-centered is what you are (in bold).

You never hear say meat wey person no dey chop say him no suppose use teeth share am?

Oh because she was pretty, undemanding and mgbekeish, you decided to hold on to her, leading her on, and only started being honest to her about your plans when you had started making your travel plans and thus realized she'd be too local for your new status?

My bro, if that girl were my sister, and you had the effrontery to come to my house to spill what you just did here, you wouldn't have been able to use that visa of yours, and I'd have personally aborted the pregnancy with my bare hands. What insult.

If she's not good enough for you to wife, she shouldn't have been good enough for you to dickk and of course mother your baby(s).

This is even worse than a baby mama thingy, this is a baby factory one.

All the story about you making it clear to her that you won't be marrying her are just some cunning silly afterthoughts of a chronic user who had a game plan from the get-go.

There's something I'll tell you now if you like take am if you no like leave am.

I just hope and pray you won't come back looking for and begging this lady in the future and by what time it'd have been late already because you'd pay for your bid to selfishly destroy this young girl's life and dump her. For whom I ask after one o'clock?

Look around you and you'd find examples of cases like this where the man would come begging after years when his recompense would have been served steamy hot.

You no see GEJ and PEJ? How you see dem upon say PEJ dey break bottle with English?

You had better retraced your step, my friend, learn to love that babe, marry her and start a family with her or else you go regret am o.

Forget all these your later later excuses abeg

daddytime:
See this mungo park oo...

You are truly a bumkum.

I say, if you see my children you go think say dem be my mates or gf's. Some people here know me very well.

You get luck say no be my sister or family you come spew that your bullock.

Na inside grave u for use that your visa.

Animal

daddytime:
I got a girl pregnant at 14...go figure

tochez24:
Bro I'm not here to condemn or judge you but truth be told, you have really used this young naive girl please stop looking for a reason to dump her, see ehh life don't always go as planned,even if you will come after 5yrs you can still marry and keep her till you're back.... You can Polish her to your taste, this girl you see today as mgbeke can be the woman of your dreams tomorrow with the right treatment, we all started from somewhere and she is no an exception. She is already having your kids i think you should consider that too, or moreover you can even make papers for her and kis to come over there to stay with you, ONE THING IS CERTAIN SHE WILL NEVER REMAIN NAIVE ALL HER LIFE. She just needs your love touches to spark the woman in her!!!! Brother think twice about this....

sirdouglas:
I want to also add that if it is true that she is having twins, then the issue of whether I am the father or not is eliminated because we have twins in our family. My two sisters are twins, my uncle had twins also so it wouldn't come as a surprise if it's true.

If it can be brought to the front page I will be glad. I need all the suggestions I can get. Please

sirdouglas:
OK here is the deal; I met this girl fews months back at a friends office as a sales girl. She is everything a man could want in a woman. An epitome of beauty. It took me like a while to get her contact cos she wouldn't give me. I refused to get it from anyone else but her. One day she did give me. I tried all I could to convince this girl that I am not like her ex but she wouldn't believe me. After what seems like forever, I got tired so I let her be. But I noticed something. Each time I stop calling or texting for a while she will call me but yet will never accept to date me. I'm not of great looks for sure but I've got a big heart. Sometimes I feel probably it's bcoz I'm not that handsome. I just can't figure out exactly what the problem is. I so much love this girl and meant well for her. She called me into their office one day to tell me that one girl told her that she loves me. I was bent on her telling me who the girl is but she refused. She said she is afraid I will leave her for the unknown girl. That girl is just messing up with my head and life...... Lols.

After what seems like a two weeks I heard from her colleague in office that she no longer work with them. I didn't want to call her since she never bothered to let me know. I was on my own one good evening my phone rang it was her. She told me she no longer work with them and is searching for a job. I am looking for a sells girl also so I felt it will create a room for bonding. I hired her few days ago. But the thing is, I am leaving the country in less than two months by God's grace and I don't even have anyone to leave my business for. I have this girl I have been dating for a while now but I have told her plainly that our relationship won't lead to marriage. I am feeling it would be bad to keep her for selfish reasons. Until I see some level of commitment I can't leave my business for a total stranger who from the look of things don't want to make clear her stand but at the same time would make a great wife. So it seems anyway.

What do I do? I want someone I can trust to give control my business from here while I travel.
Would it be stupid to pay her dowry and travel?
She doesn't know about my traveling plans.
Should I speak to her plainly and tell her exactly what I want from her? Should I disclose that much information to her?
I hate wooing a lady with what I have or who I am.

I need all the help I can get before a brother makes a life time mistake please.

sirdouglas:
What if I had given her money to do abortion or helped her with it and travel then few years down the line she couldn't conceive or complications from tje abortion claims her life later. Will it be better?? With the kind of condenmination that I am getting from my fellow guys, now I understand why others always choose the easy way out. I hope you know accepting this pregnancy has cost me a great deal? Financially, emotionally, socially and every f*cking part of my being?

Why I don't want to marry from Anambra? I have some personal reasons for that. I didn't just wake up one morning and made that decision.

Keep your mouth lashing to youself. I know your life is perfect but allow me to sort mine in peace. I am not begging for money remember. And don't for a minute that you are more civilized than me. Sh*t do happen and you are suppose to understand that.

If you can't. Mpa nyem efe dia.

excessmon:
Bro ur story reeked of self pity. U want us to pity you by telling us ur pitiful part of the story
I want to ask you
1.what is the age gap between you both?
2. Which properly groomed man with self respect turns a 19 year old on?
3. Do you think about the psychological implications of your actions on her in future?
4. What happened to u training her to the level u want her to be?

I will be 28 Th this year. She will be 22. The age gap is not much. I am done replying some you. You can go ahead and twist the story however you like. I brought this story up so I can find the best way to fix this never knowing I was opening doors for fools and nonentities.

Instead of suggestions, some of you who can't talk to me in person are here ranting and calling me names like I raped her or killed somebody. Let he without sin cast the first stone.

I appreciate those reasonable ones who made meaniful contribution. Some of you who felt this is a thread to unleash your frustration should carry on.

My conclusions are
1. You are mean , selfish and self centered
2. You have low self esteem and irresponsible to the real issues and hide under the irrelevant ones
3. So for her future to be secured she opted for abortion but u wanted the more humiliating pattern for her
4. When she born your twins now na ur kinsmen wan marry her?
5. Lastly think before you act (morals of the lesson

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.