₦airaland Forum

daddytime:
Look around you and you'd find examples of cases like this where the man would come begging after years when his recompense would have been served steamy hot.

You no see GEJ and PEJ? How you see dem upon say PEJ dey break bottle with English?

You had better retraced your step, my friend, learn to love that babe, marry her and start a family with her or else you go regret am o.

Forget all these your later later excuses abeg

Exactly, no one is perfect, just find your own witch and let her also manage your stupidity

Listen bro...

Being pregnant is not a criteria for marriage bro...even if na quadruplets...this is a fact!

But I am going to advise you from experience!

The shortcut to avoiding all the future pains and regrets you will have about this incident is to marry her...then mound her into whatever you want her to be.

This is more complicated than you think, and this can affect your future and peace of your future home!

Just go for iku aka...no biggy!

daddytime:
Judging from your narrative, it is safe to say the young girl is a 'beauty without brains' whatever that means, and I'm sure her beauty was what got you hooked before you tasted the pie and subsequently realized she wasn't so smart.

Bro, I'm going to be straight up with you like I always do man...Selfish and self-centered is what you are (in bold).

You never hear say meat wey person no dey chop say him no suppose use teeth share am?

Oh because she was pretty, undemanding and mgbekeish, you decided to hold on to her, leading her on, and only started being honest to her about your plans when you had started making your travel plans and thus realized she'd be too local for your new status?

My bro, if that girl were my sister, and you had the effrontery to come to my house to spill what you just did here, you wouldn't have been able to use that visa of yours, and I'd have personally aborted the pregnancy with my bare hands. What insult.

If she's not good enough for you to wife, she shouldn't have been good enough for you to dickk and of course mother your baby(s).

This is even worse than a baby mama thingy, this is a baby factory one.

All the story about you making it clear to her that you won't be marrying her are just some cunning silly afterthoughts of a chronic user who had a game plan from the get-go.

There's something I'll tell you now if you like take am if you no like leave am.

I just hope and pray you won't come back looking for and begging this lady in the future and by what time it'd have been late already because you'd pay for your bid to selfishly destroy this young girl's life and dump her. For whom I ask after one o'clock?

Look around you and you'd find examples of cases like this where the man would come begging after years when his recompense would have been served steamy hot.

You no see GEJ and PEJ? How you see dem upon say PEJ dey break bottle with English?

You had better retraced your step, my friend, learn to love that babe, marry her and start a family with her or else you go regret am o.

Forget all these your later later excuses abeg

A typical Nigerian response judging from the likes. Judgemental, crude, intellectually deficient and empty.

Malcolmsweet:
My brother, this your profile fit the profile of a guy wey I sabi for onitsha.. em name na Amaechi Douglas wey travel to China this year.. Anyway if na you, you be my guy for where you they carry gym.. you Bleep up first for getting the girl pregnant when u no like am.. But marriage no be do or die..no law for Nigeria said that you must marry girl wey u give belle.. if you no like this girl for marriage ..you will regret your life and the marriage when e happen.. your happiness should be number one.. no put the girl for bondage of marriage if you no like am.. but make sure say u take good care of the twins..

Broo... You said it all.. he should take care of the girl and the kids

Bros i understand your situation, but i wudnt advice you start a business alone for her but encourage you to send her back to school...because belief me an uneducated single mom in this present day will only drag u down the more....and you will always live to regret your actions. But if she is educated, she is enpowered and exposed and belief you me you will come to love her more. Who can tell, you may end up marrying her even with all the falws you listed ...the once she get to age 24(that is before you come back) she would have build a name for her self and may not even want to marry you again....by then she would have been expose to so many things of life as a result of the education......belief me when i tell you an educated woman is already an empowered woman whether single mom or married mom.

daddytime:
Judging from your narrative, it is safe to say the young girl is a 'beauty without brains' whatever that means, and I'm sure her beauty was what got you hooked before you tasted the pie and subsequently realized she wasn't so smart.

Bro, I'm going to be straight up with you like I always do man...Selfish and self-centered is what you are (in bold).

You never hear say meat wey person no dey chop say him no suppose use teeth share am?

Oh because she was pretty, undemanding and mgbekeish, you decided to hold on to her, leading her on, and only started being honest to her about your plans when you had started making your travel plans and thus realized she'd be too local for your new status?

My bro, if that girl were my sister, and you had the effrontery to come to my house to spill what you just did here, you wouldn't have been able to use that visa of yours, and I'd have personally aborted the pregnancy with my bare hands. What insult.

If she's not good enough for you to wife, she shouldn't have been good enough for you to dickk and of course mother your baby(s).

This is even worse than a baby mama thingy, this is a baby factory one.

All the story about you making it clear to her that you won't be marrying her are just some cunning silly afterthoughts of a chronic user who had a game plan from the get-go.

There's something I'll tell you now if you like take am if you no like leave am.

I just hope and pray you won't come back looking for and begging this lady in the future and by what time it'd have been late already because you'd pay for your bid to selfishly destroy this young girl's life and dump her. For whom I ask after one o'clock?

Look around you and you'd find examples of cases like this where the man would come begging after years when his recompense would have been served steamy hot.

You no see GEJ and PEJ? How you see dem upon say PEJ dey break bottle with English?

You had better retraced your step, my friend, learn to love that babe, marry her and start a family with her or else you go regret am o.

Forget all these your later later excuses abeg

lol... Blunt truth.

judgementyard:
Your matter just tire me.Will come back and tell u what to do!

The guy nor well at all.

Don't bother coming back to tell him anything bro.

Imagine what he said 'I swore never to marry from Anambra state', as if it was 'Anambra' he's been sleeping with. Anambra don turn woman abi? Akuko onye ara!

That guy's life appears more messed up than he painted of the girl's family. Little wonder, he's unable to resist her each time she returned. What's it again that is said of birds of a feather.............?

Mtcheeew.

When you tell a girl stop tripping.. they won't hear.. .They want to go for the best guys.. .Oya naw.. . Allow a guy to run after you not the other way around..
But, if na you run after this girl.. .Then hell is real for you

Where r u from, and is ur place so perfect that u distaste another's place. What of tomorrow when u finally settle for wht u desire and the person after years of wasting ur time and resources reject u because of ur place of origin, how will you feel.

Come to think of it, u r so wrong, I mean very very wrong for keeping her and allowing her back for good three times when u sees no future wt her. I v a similiar experience but slightly different cus am nt preggy. Mine is that I v sound educational background n am in a relationship with a guy that has no educational background, talk more of a single degree. I have choice and v met guys with educational background more than him but u see, there is something in him that attracted me. I strtd telling him the need for education and evn enrolled him in one. I didn't do that for us to marry, I did it becos I Wnt to make an impact in him and tomorrow if we didn't end up together, then another girl won't reject him cus of education.

So my dear, doing ikuaka just to lay claims on the children and nothing more is so inhuman and downgrading, the twins need both parents in their lives although marriage is not by force. But i strongly believe tht if she was good for u to lay on, then, she must be good enough for u afterall. On this note, I advise you that u enroll her in school, make her see the need for education and after careful perusal u decided not to marry her, then u should take care of her and the babies evn if she marry another person, at the end of day, ur twins if only they are urs ll still look for their father. Note that they ll look for you if u r contributory to their lives and upbringing.

Inaddition, I can sense that the girl is afraid of something but I don't know what. Engage her in a serious and long conversation, try to detect her fears, make her to open with you, pls stop reminding her how u wish not to marry her and stuff of that nature. I know u can restructure her to ur taste but after the restructuring u still didn't find her worthy of bearing ur surname, then is all up to u. But, during ur restructuring, don't give her hopes that u l later dash to the lurch. Thanks and goodluck

sirdouglas:
In as much as you are trying to be mean. I understand your point. For the record, I am not a boy. I will appreciate if you address me with more respect.

Marrying her will not be such a bad idea but we may not enjoy the marriage. Especially her. She has said it over time that she knows that I don't love her. In as much as that is not entirely true, it is not far from it. She doesn't fit my profile for a wife and that is why I have been trying to end the relationship.

If this is coming from a woman I will understand but coming from a guy makes me want to ask you how old you are. Sorry but that's so insensitive of you and immature.

I never meant ill for her and I have been as reasonable and honest I can be with the situation. Judging me won't solve the problem.
What about a girl that a guy rejected for good three times and told her that he doesn't like her for marriage and she is still insisting and keep coming back? It's a two way thingb ro and I am expecting you to be more reasonable with your replies.

You don't want to marry her but she left and came back three times and you impregnated her so she was your intimacy gadget abi. If you own those children just take full responsibility i am only pitying her cuz your a man and can marry but who will want to marry after two.

1stCitizen:
A typical Nigerian response judging from the likes. Judgemental, crude, intellectually deficient and empty.

And yours is the typical response of the irresponsible, misogynist and the decieving-oneself response.

Someone goes and gets a girl pregnant and you want him to run away from what HE is responsible for? Actions have consequences, guy.

AstroG:
Marriage is not a must
If the girl isn't fit for you to marry and she will be a stumbling block to your future plans,Discard am.
Just make sure you send financial support when you have it.

Look at Davido,Wizkid and other celebs,they are not married but are progressing well

Don't ever marry out of pity.


DON'T FORGET THE DNA TEST AFTER SHE HAS BEEN PUT TO BED,
CUS THESE HOES AIN'T LOYAL..

AM ASHAME OF MY SELF TO HEAR SOMEONE CALL YOU A MAN AND STILL USE THE SAME WORD ON ME. THE HEART OF MEN ARE EVIL(demon)

.

OP is a fraud.
Looking down on someone and her family, yet you were lashing her over and over again.
If she had my type as her brother, forget it. You won't even have access to the internet by now.
All this am comfortable, am traveling abroad, am this, am that... All Na Bull - Shit.
You just took advantage of the young girl, now you're making up excuses.
Its your life anyway, we won't be there 20 years from now when the twins grow up to realise how badly you treated their mother and dump your sorry a-s-s.

Grown man indeed!

Dear poster, you shouldn't bite what you can't chew, and judging from your comments you are really contradicting yourself. let me point out some faults
•You said at the initial time you were dating her for marriage, but you later found out that she is
not a smart person and she is not someone you can marry but now you don't want to marry an Anambra person. Isn't this a contradiction? Were you not aware that she was from Anambra from the onset?
• You don't want to marry her but yet, you slept with her without protection and you knew she is not smart enough to protect herself, I wonder what result you were expecting.
•You think that you may not be responsible for the pregnancy, but you heard that she is having twin, you are suddenly responsible because there are twins in your family lineage.
Dear poster, I wonder wat kind of smartness you are expecting from a young girl of nineteen who probably just finished secondary school. Kindly accept your wrongs and stop playing this game of justifying your actions.
My advice for you is that you should conduct a paternity test, an if proven that the babies are yours and your genotype and hers are compatible for marriage,pls marry her. Give her good education, polish her up, learn to love her, you can even take her far away from her immediate environment, away from the people she gossips with. I believe she loves you and will be willing to forfeit some of her negative attitude for the sake of the marriage.

sirdouglas:
Thank you a lot dear. You opinion is really really appreciated.

I have really considered that. I am still considering it but I have this believe that people don't really change. They are who they are. I am afraid!! I don't want to die young. She can't f*cking keep a secret. Within the first week she found out that she is pregnant. Even with no tommy to show for it. The whole plaza where I do my business knew about it. I was mad. Barely a week!! Not the first time. Her mother is the first person that knows whatever I tell her then her friends. She listens to side talk. Someone can convince her tomorrow that I am a bad person and she will start acting on it or kill me in my sleep without considering everything I have done for her. Its not just about the moment. I afraid of the future. I don't see her as one who is promiscuous but you know you women are good at hiding things like this. I never cheated on her. I am terrible at that. She was working for someone around my business area and that's how we met.

There is still enough time to fix this but oh God!! I wish I have the answers.
About the only chance to father a child, that's not true and I forgive you for that. I did it because I have conscience. I know she can't take of the baby all by herself.

Boss please don't ever marry that girl, never marry a woman out of pity it usually backfires.The best thing to do will be to do a paternity test for the kids after delivery and if eventually the kids are yours just be sending money for their upkeep .A word Is enough for the wise.

sirdouglas:
I want to also add that if it is true that she is having twins, then the issue of whether I am the father or not is eliminated because we have twins in our family. My two sisters are twins, my uncle had twins also so it wouldn't come as a surprise if it's true.

If it can be brought to the front page I will be glad. I need all the suggestions I can get. Please

Equation balanced one for you one for the other guy.

daddytime:
Go and sit your nonsense ass down.

Go look for oyibo or slay queen marry, when your eye clear na double knee you go take cry come look for this mgbeke.

You are a cunning, deceptive and self-centered predator who fed fat on the naive girls innocence.

You dey look for people wey wan tell you wetin you want hear to justify your actions.

Nonsense an ingredients.

What is your problem Mr man. You are taking another man's issue so personal, be reasonable. If you can't advice him, let him be. From your post it is obvious you are aggressive in nature and you are a type that judge through sentiment and is not good because you will not be able to offer a quality advice. Don't force the girl on him, you just need to guild him, he might end up married her if you guild him on how to solve the problem not condeming him.I understand what the man is going through, I'm into similar situation.

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

Pls i need the girls number,i want to marry her and the kids. You dont deserve to be her husband or a father to her lovely kids

flexyrule:
OP is a fraud.
Looking down on someone and her family, yet you were lashing her over and over again.
If she had my type as her brother, forget it. You won't even have access to the internet by now.
All this am comfortable, am traveling abroad, am this, am that... All Na Bull - Shit.
You just took advantage of the young girl, now you're making up excuses.
Its your life anyway, we won't be there 20 years from now when the twins grow up to realise how badly you treated their mother and dump your sorry a-s-s.

Grown man indeed!

You are a small boy. You don't know anything about relationship. You reason one way. Learn to judge from both side. Deal with issue with wisdom. I solve issues between old couple without offending any. Learn how to balance issue

I will be very honest with you. First you went below your own expectation in your choice of a girlfriend (possible wife) may be out of sheer adventure or proximity. Some guys here have asked why you decided to use your teeth to share a meat you are not likely to eat, instead of addressing that squarely you are working very hard to sound politically correct. Things don't work that way bro.
In all honesty, you had ample time to settle all the issues that are troubling your peace now yet you dilly dallied, and the consequences you must face.
Don't marry that girl just because of what had happened or what people may say. Bros you are not in a popularity contest cause if you do not still see her as a wife material both of you may end up enduring a frustrating relationship that will likely not end well. The situation is still redeemable. Going by your present circumstances overseas you cannot be fighting battles on all fronts. You need all the energy and resources to realise your dreams that took you out of our shores in the first place.
Demand to know what is expected traditionally so that your claim to the kids remain guaranteed.
After successfull delivery continue to care for this girl and the kids to the best of your abilities. Do not neglect them.
Assist her subsequently in whatever she choose to do either learning a skill or acquiring education letting her know that there are no conditions attached. In all of these never allow yourself to be emotionally blackmailed and maintain an open mind.
Time does wonders in the affairs of men and women. There will be healing, reconsideration, realignments and other changes you may not have considered at moment.
That girl somewhere along the line will come full circle either for you or someone else. No bi fight o.
Also be working on yourself cause the picture of a perfect gentleman you are trying so hard to paint is neither here nor there. In all l wish you success and Gods wisdom. It's not as bad as you think!! Cheers.

akejujoe:
Oga that means madness jam madness be that. What I am saying in essence is that he can't have it easy the way this guy seems to be having it. God forbid bad thing and destiny destroyers like the op for my girls.

Ok Boss, please give me one example of what you will do. Kill him? Injure him? What exactly? Force him to marry your girl?
Remember, despite the pain he may cause he has NOT committed a crime.

Truthsbitter:
OP ( sirdouglas ) READ THIS TO THE END, it is not one-sided.

I am not here to side one party or judge blindly.
firstly, you see all these people making insulting comments to you and forceful decision for you. Read their comments but don't bother to reply them and this is why; people are quick to judge or decide for others but they make the most stupid and inhuman decision when it's their turn and more is that they are blind with a plank in their eyes but yet trying to remove a dust from another man's eye.

YOU ARE NOT WITHOUT BLAME, oga you slept with her unprotected knowing there's 50% or even more possibility that you won't marry her. this is your first and biggest Bleep up. If you date for marriage then there should be two things involved, you either leave sex out of the marriage or you must be sure to wife the girl if she gets pregnant for you or it means you were never truly dating her for marriage and in such case you should state the possibility of "no marriage" to the girl and play safe not to fall into getting her pregnant. so oga stop giving me self-righteous lies.

Bro don't marry her. This is why; You simply state that you don't love her enough to make her your wife. note this is solely your decision and not mine and it is easier to live with the consequences of your decision than to live with that of another man.
l am not saying your decision will be 100% good for you but you will definitely have more strength to stand the times of harvest when you make your own decision. so for your own good CHOOSE WISELY. Think well before you make conclusions.
I am not saying if you marry her things are going to be rossy (I definitely won't marry someone I don't love enough to wife no matter how much I feel for her, I can only help her as much as I can, meaning going to the extent of making sacrifices for her but not the sacrifice of caging both myself and her under a sad wedlock, but this is me and this is my decision without fear. unless I find an experience in the future that changes my mentality).

DON'T LISTEN TO ALL THESE EMOTIONAL RANTS you read on your thread if you feel you're going against the peace of your mind and if you feel like you're going into a cage and that you're taking the girl along with you.

The other side; The girl is not completely without blame as there's also a high possibility that she is trying hard to cope with this relationship for financial liberation or for a more secured future and not exactly for the love she has for you. Think about this; if she was rich and independent, would she be running after you? while she is yet still on the young side? would she care to bore your children if she had an independent future? would you be able to push her away, damage her pride and she would yet come back begging and throwing her legs wide open at you if she has another alternative of securing her needs without you?....This is my unsentimental answer to those questions, I think it is over 90% a NO. every body is responsible for their decision, she is is facing hers and how ever it turns out for her, it was solely her decision.

last one on you before i rest my thumbs.
you shouldn't have waited until she got pregnant before trying to help her secure her future if you truly love, for the sake of the good sex and good relationship you guys have had together you should have been able to freely do things for her to help her grow than just sleeping with her and pushing her away. now that is a bit late but not entirely impossible. for future purpose keep this in mind.

if you CAN find a way to imagine a good and peaceful future with her, please do marry her but if all your imaginations about spending the rest of your life with her is hell, please do not marry her. But one thing you must do, sacrifice all you can to make her become the best she could ever be.

truthsbitter

Best advice. I respect you sir. You must be a councillor

Well, I see the OP responding to comments by giving justifications instead of taking feedbacks, so I guess he doesn't like to hear opposing views which is the very essence of asking fot advice.

First of all, abortion is illegal in Nigeria, it shouldn't be a legal option, like in most country ,else it would habe been the easy alternative instead of ruining lives and joining families that have no fundamental links, but since it isn't I wouldn't advice you to go for it unless you can take her to a country where it ks legal.

Secondly, family is very very important in marriage, you cannot enjoy your marriage if you marry into a family that has a poor foundation which does not align with yours. It will ruin you snd your kids, you will be drain financially, emotional etc fot the rest of your lives. If you honestly can't deal with their family dont even try it.

Thirdly, I know my Anambra brothers, if they know its your child, they will force you to get married to her, but it appears that the child may not be yours, and they may have questioned their sister before then snd trying to lay it on you, after all, why would she say your sperm does not work, if she has not tried to get pregnant for you? or mocking you for getting it from somewhere else.

Fourth, you messed up, continually having sex with someone unprotected when you know you aren't planning to get married to them.

phemy36:
You are a small boy. You don't know anything about relationship. You reason one way. Learn to judge from both side. Deal with issue with wisdom. I solve issues between old couple without offending any. Learn how to balance issue

Swerve Old man!

Sorry bro ur thinking actually explained ur age properly......
Before u are able to type a complete message insults flow into ur thinking

U want to hear the truth u are acting like an endangered species in this story.....

Put her in the place of your sister imagine coming back from the country u went to to meet her with a story like the lady’s own,how will u feel bro?


In d right frame what will I meet a 28 year old boy on the road and discuss only give advice that I’m doing to u now.....



I’m proud of u for standing by her now but she actually needs u more in future bro



Lastly. Can you train her to measure to your level and ur taste



Finally : there’s no better woman out there , we actually make them to become what we want them to be through hard work and patience



My piece though[quote author=sirdouglas post=80018646][/quote]

flexyrule:
OP is a fraud.
Looking down on someone and her family, yet you were lashing her over and over again.
If she had my type as her brother, forget it. You won't even have access to the internet by now.
All this am comfortable, am traveling abroad, am this, am that... All Na Bull - Shit.
You just took advantage of the young girl, now you're making up excuses.
Its your life anyway, we won't be there 20 years from now when the twins grow up to realise how badly you treated their mother and dump your sorry a-s-s.

Grown man indeed!

Haba! Nigerians especially my ndigbo people sa bi do shakara! Madam, wetin you go do? You don sleep inside cell before? Wetin yo go do? Kill am? Beat him up or what?

Madam, last last you go just chill come dey beg the man on top!

I have a lovely daughter as well and as mad as I dey, last last person go just chill dey look. Beg the guy to take care of his responsibilities. Go and commit crime and escalate the matter 10 times?

sirdouglas:
I want to also add that if it is true that she is having twins, then the issue of whether I am the father or not is eliminated because we have twins in our family. My two sisters are twins, my uncle had twins also so it wouldn't come as a surprise if it's true.

If it can be brought to the front page I will be glad. I need all the suggestions I can get. Please

She is not good enough to be your wife
but she is good enough
to receive your dick
to carry your babies
to mother your children
to be humiliated in her family because of you
the truth is that you are too selfish, and you"ll reap what you sow sooner or later

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

marriage is a lifetime thing so please never marry out of pity. You can make the babies legitimate by accepting them and taking care of their needs.
Please do not make any drastic decisions. Thank you

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

take her far from her family and settle her,rent a place and let her lern a hand work to look after the kids.thano God she is not the bad luck type.8no visa no money and hardship)

daddytime:
Judging from your narrative, it is safe to say the young girl is a 'beauty without brains' whatever that means, and I'm sure her beauty was what got you hooked before you tasted the pie and subsequently realized she wasn't so smart.

Bro, I'm going to be straight up with you like I always do man...Selfish and self-centered is what you are (in bold).

You never hear say meat wey person no dey chop say him no suppose use teeth share am?

Oh because she was pretty, undemanding and mgbekeish, you decided to hold on to her, leading her on, and only started being honest to her about your plans when you had started making your travel plans and thus realized she'd be too local for your new status?

My bro, if that girl were my sister, and you had the effrontery to come to my house to spill what you just did here, you wouldn't have been able to use that visa of yours, and I'd have personally aborted the pregnancy with my bare hands. What insult.

If she's not good enough for you to wife, she shouldn't have been good enough for you to dickk and of course mother your baby(s).

This is even worse than a baby mama thingy, this is a baby factory one.

All the story about you making it clear to her that you won't be marrying her are just some cunning silly afterthoughts of a chronic user who had a game plan from the get-go.

There's something I'll tell you now if you like take am if you no like leave am.

I just hope and pray you won't come back looking for and begging this lady in the future and by what time it'd have been late already because you'd pay for your bid to selfishly destroy this young girl's life and dump her. For whom I ask after one o'clock?

Look around you and you'd find examples of cases like this where the man would come begging after years when his recompense would have been served steamy hot.

You no see GEJ and PEJ? How you see dem upon say PEJ dey break bottle with English?

You had better retraced your step, my friend, learn to love that babe, marry her and start a family with her or else you go regret am o.

Forget all these your later later excuses abeg

U no lie brother. To me a man can learn to love a woman so far the woman really loves him.
She loves and respect you like you (OP) said, to me that's enough.
In marriage LOVE would never be enough. Las Las na your life