VillagePipu:


Your father is a bastard and you come from a long lineage of bastards.

That boy belongs to the guy. The girl's parents can argue tradition all they want but the law is what it is.

You like your idiotic father are a monkey that can't climb a tree. Useless on the ground, hopeless on the trees and God would punish you. Worthless mongrel, read what others are telling you and see how stupid you sound.

All these Port Harcourt thugs that think life begins and ends in Rivers state. Go out and see life, una no go gree. Now, you're talking nonsense based on your local traditions in your village. Oponu

That she male spongeisback is really a useless fellow.
Ignore him!

Ybaby:
15k cannot do nothing for that child. How much is baby food? How much is daycare? etc

I will be honest with you - allow that rich man to look after that child biko and try and make money - take courses, hustle, get a job etc.

A child belongs comes out of who? the father or the mother?? it is who a mother gives her child to that is the father. Ok!? No one is sure who thier true father is - it is whoever your mum tells you is your father that is your father! Ok!?

Get money before you try for another baby with the next lucky lady or that one too will give your child to the highest bidder.

Most woman don't know babies are expensive until they have them - a mother's job is to do what is best for her child. Try and understand. Go make some money.

I have included prices of baby things below - does not contain school fees. He is mine is not the point here - It is can you give him a good life? You need to man up it is not about sperm. Once a child is on earth it is about provision. People will say otherwise but don't let anyone trick you. If you love that child you will let the rich man adopt him and use your ego to make money. Your child does not need your love as much as he needs diapers and formula

The truth hurts and I am sorry

Am sorry to say but i think you are out of line and sound like the baby's mummy. You sound like you would have done same or worst.

What you are talking about is standard of living and you seem to want to set a very high standard of living which is only obtainable by 10% or less of Nigerians. Didnt she know his standard of living before she opened her legs to him?

I believe there are families that live under N15k for a month and they still remain healthy and have a very good chance of having a successful education. Sharing pictures of expensive baby formulas is no way to say he is an irresponsible father or one who is incapable of taking care of a 2yr old within his means.

I have 3 children, non of which willingly open their mouths to 1 spoon of formula or anything industrially processed. Not even cerelac, custard or even the local corn pap (Akamu). My mother in law thought my wife was unserious feeding them with proper formula not until she tried it herself and failed. She had to tell her, welldone, you are trying with you kind of child.

One woman visited from the village and saw how my wife was wrestling to feed the baby and said, "this is unbelievable, when children in the village will hungry the thirst for this kind of food, this baby even knows how to lock his lips and prevent his mother from force feeding him!".

My point is, do not set the same standard for yourself and everyone else.

That 10k shoe you posted can be bought toks for as little as N1500. Meanwhile, nearly 50% of Nigerian children may not have worn a 2k shoe before.

The op wants his child and for someone who can afford 15k monthly unsolicited allowance for his child, i believe he will do well.

otobasin2323:
Good day nairalanders, ( pls ignore my errors, I am not good in typing ) I had a baby with one lady from rivers state(ex girlfriend) and I am from imo state, the baby turns out to be a boy he is 2 years old now. The lady lived with me during her pregnancy and also Gave birth under my roof.. 9months after giving birth, we started having issue. Based on am not well to do.. Cause my hustle ain't paying off. She left the house with my son. Later on she and her family found a man who has been married for so long but no child.. But the man is very wealthy and well to do in the society, the man is also from their town in rivers state ,she agreed to be the second wife so he can claim the child.

on hearing this I rejected it and met with her family so they can release my son to me and she can go ahead and marry whom ever she likes.. To my greatest suprise they all decline to my request but gave her full support that she should go ahead quoting me that in their tradition "any man that marries a lady that is with a child the child automatically answers the man's name"

With this statement it got me sad, angry cause I love my son with all my heart I don't want another man to father him.. Every month I Normally send her 15k for keep up my son... She ain't satisfied.. That am too poor for her liking... How do I take her to court the only documents I have here.. Is my sons birth certificate, his pictures with me. And all the receipt of the money I normally sent to her monthly... Pls I seriously need advice or suggestions. Thank you

I'll advise you to employ the services of a good legal practitioner if you really want to have custody of your son. Because it is the position of law that any custom which intends to separate a parent from his/her child and transfer such parental rights to a stranger (in this case, your exe's suitor) is barbaric & repugnant to the rule of natural Justice. There is in fact, a famous judicial authority to that effect.

So do not give up my man. It's obvious you've been really there for your child; only that you ain't buoyant enough financially to captivate your baby momma's heart. Peace.

Martinez39:
Lol. The fact that people are paid #15000 per month doesn't mean you have to raise a child with #15000 per month. That is foolishness and wickedness. If all you can offer a baby is #15000 per month then you are better off hustling than giving birth. The op should forget about the child and hustle. To depend on or bank on a woman to strive to contribute financially is a height of foolishness. Can you expect a tiger to eat grass? Depend on yourself and hustle.

Clap Clap Clap!!!!!

A real man!!!! at last a real man!!!!!

Donot depend on a woman or a child. A woman is pregnant for 9 months to bring a child to full term, breastfeed and nurtures the child then the child is given to the father on the 7th day to bear the man's name and the man has only 15k a month to contribute?? It is a shameful something!!!

If there is war today - the men are forced to go to war and the women and children are protected and kept safe. Women are fragile and already have so much burden from menstral period to pregnancy and nature has given man bigger muscles and a logical mind to go out and colaborate / compete with other men to provide for his own. Even the bible calls a non provider man worse than an infidel.

What is this 50/50 I keep seeing - Can you breastfeed as a man?? Can you get pregnant? Do you lose blood every month?? Do you lose your memory and body after having a child

If you insist a woman also contributes financially to a child she is nurturing - donot be hurt when she finds a provider man for her child that is her way of contributing to the child. I am a man is not by peepee it is by provision. Be very very guided.

I pray all the men reading this the strength and vision to look after thier family without the assistance of a woman.

MANGAM:


U can't claim a child from a woman that traditionally, legally religiously u didn't pay a dine on the mother. U want a child from her and never bothered to do something on her head.

U don't seems to understand law,

Why worry yourself, just make sure you keep all the evident with you, for the sake of the baby, let him enjoy his step-dad money for some years, life is good bro. Use ur 15k contribution to invest yourself, your son will be safe just try to be tracking him.

Ybaby:


I am agreeing with you that the biological father had an extra room for his biological son to move into unlike the poster that has only 15k for jis biological son.

Blood is not thicker than School fees

I disagree with you, blood is blood.. there's no way a grown child who has traces of his father won't look back ... The Op you k ow today may not be the same tomorrow ... Every little beginning shouldn't be neglected

otobasin2323:
Good day nairalanders, ( pls ignore my errors, I am not good in typing ) I had a baby with one lady from rivers state(ex girlfriend) and I am from imo state, the baby turns out to be a boy he is 2 years old now. The lady lived with me during her pregnancy and also Gave birth under my roof.. 9months after giving birth, we started having issue. Based on am not well to do.. Cause my hustle ain't paying off. She left the house with my son. Later on she and her family found a man who has been married for so long but no child.. But the man is very wealthy and well to do in the society, the man is also from their town in rivers state ,she agreed to be the second wife so he can claim the child.

on hearing this I rejected it and met with her family so they can release my son to me and she can go ahead and marry whom ever she likes.. To my greatest suprise they all decline to my request but gave her full support that she should go ahead quoting me that in their tradition "any man that marries a lady that is with a child the child automatically answers the man's name"

With this statement it got me sad, angry cause I love my son with all my heart I don't want another man to father him.. Every month I Normally send her 15k for keep up my son... She ain't satisfied.. That am too poor for her liking... How do I take her to court the only documents I have here.. Is my sons birth certificate, his pictures with me. And all the receipt of the money I normally sent to her monthly... Pls I seriously need advice or suggestions. Thank you

Firstly seek a competent lawyer advise, d truth still remain that u r d biological father of d child and lastly ask God to intervene.

adanny01:


Am sorry to say but i think you are out of line.

What you are talking about is standard of living and you seem to want to set a very high standard of living which is only obtainable by 10% or less of Nigerians.

I believe there are families that live under N15k for a month and they still remain healthy and have a very good chance of having a successful education. Sharing pictures of expensive baby formulas is no way to say he is an irresponsible father or one who is incapable of taking care of a 2yr old within his means.

I have 3 children, non of which willingly open their mouths to 1 spoon of formula or anything industrially processed. Not even cerelac, custard or even the local corn pap (Akamu). My mother in law thought my wife was unserious feeding them with proper formula not until she tried it herself and failed. She had to tell her, welldone, you are trying with you kind of child.

One woman visited from the village and saw how my wife was wrestling to feed the baby and said, "this is unbelievable, when children in the village will hungry the thirst for this kind of food, this baby even knows how to lock his lips and prevent his mother from force feeding him!".

My point is, do not set the same standard for yourself and everyone else.

That 10k shoe you posted can be bought toks for as little as N1500. Meanwhile, nearly 50% of Nigerian children may not have worn a 2k shoe before.

The op wants his child and for someone who can afford 15k monthly unsolicited allowance for his child, i believe he will do well.

Even there is shoe of N500 - just that it is rubber.
There is also indomie N100 - in fact the child will bellyful to je pe
There is also public school - but you will supplement with broom and tissue for the teacher
Even at the age of 5 year old the child can start contributing to the family financially hawking one or two things to help the father.

This is your dream/vision for your spurn, for your heir, for your legacy. Clap for yourself!! Infact! well done sir

I am in total support of her action - my first loyalty is to my children, to give them the best footing in life. She is a very wise woman. OP will be fine - I hope he doubles his hustle before impregnating the next woman. It beats me how a poor man can have urges to fccuk a woman .....all you are supposed to be thinking about is where to get the next coin. Fccuuk is not a recreational activity it is a reproduction activity.

wirinet:


So much misinformation and ignorance in a single post. The best food for mental development of babies is BREAST MILK. It is tailored specifically for rapid mental development of our species. Cow milk is tailored more for body mass development tailored for bovine species. Children breastfed to one year and above tend to have better mental development than babies fed with expensive food formulas.

Talking about intelligence, my children school performance is excellent. My second child borders on genius. He had never scored less 90% in any exam he had taken. My first son that I talked about is only 11, and he is among the best in his school. He plays piano very well, so much so his music teacher wants me to register him with MUSON.

You that depends solely on another human being for your existence claim to be higher than me that have other dependants apart from my immediate family? Grand delusion I would say.

I wish your husband can read these post, he will realize he married a gold digger, who would dump him to be 4th wife to a rich man at the first signs of financial troubles.

He has gold and so not afraid of a golddigger. It is men who have no gold and donot plan to get gold that are scared of gold diggers. I depend on him and he depends on God and it works. My kids are in better schools than yours, I slay more than your wife because my man is a bigger man than you are

wirinet:


So much misinformation and ignorance in a single post. The best food for mental development of babies is BREAST MILK. It is tailored specifically for rapid mental development of our species. Cow milk is tailored more for body mass development tailored for bovine species. Children breastfed to one year and above tend to have better mental development than babies fed with expensive food formulas.

Talking about intelligence, my children school performance is excellent. My second child borders on genius. He had never scored less 90% in any exam he had taken. My first son that I talked about is only 11, and he is among the best in his school. He plays piano very well, so much so his music teacher wants me to register him with MUSON.

You that depends solely on another human being for your existence claim to be higher than me that have other dependants apart from my immediate family? Grand delusion I would say.

I wish your husband can read these post, he will realize he married a gold digger, who would dump him to be 4th wife to a rich man at the first signs of financial troubles.

Depends on the standard of the school sir if he is competing with fellow golden morn with plenty milk people he may be the local champion there - Piano lessons as in he wants to be Dbanj - MUSON centre ko Chrisland ni

Godoverevery:

You look too good to be making such a statement pls...stop being naive ... all over the earth and even in heaven a father has1000000% rite so far is ur he/she carry ur DNA...... just that law only recognise as child born out of wedlock .....
#you look educated pls.... don't say D's outside becos most illiterate even know this#

if u like insult me from now till Jesus comes, nobody will release a child to an illegal father traditionally and Legally, what the girls parents told him is truth undiluted, even if he goes to the Hague's he'll hear thesame thing, don't underestimate the power of tradition because you're educated, this would be an uphill task for any lawyer to handle, he can only continue visiting his child and playing his fatherly roles until he's of age to decide naturally that he wants to be with his father

Ybaby:



Clap Clap Clap!!!!!

A real man!!!! at last a real man!!!!!

Donot depend on a woman or a child. A woman is pregnant for 9 months to bring a child to full term, breastfeed and nurtures the child then the child is given to the father on the 7th day to bear the man's name and the man has only 15k a month to contribute?? It is a shameful something!!!

If there is war today - the men are forced to go to war and the women and children are protected and kept safe. Women are fragile and already have so much burden from menstral period to pregnancy and nature has given man bigger muscles and a logical mind to go out and colaborate / compete with other men to provide for his own. Even the bible calls a non provider man worse than an infidel.

What is this 50/50 I keep seeing - Can you breastfeed as a man?? Can you get pregnant? Do you lose blood every month?? Do you lose your memory and body after having a child

If you insist a woman also contributes financially to a child she is nurturing - donot be hurt when she finds a provider man for her child that is her way of contributing to the child. I am a man is not by peepee it is by provision. Be very very guided.

I pray all the men reading this the strength and vision to look after thier family without the assistance of a woman.

Oga, not so fast. A woman ought to contribute too but many women are lazy and live to feed off men. Even the ones that have won't give because they have this "your money is our money, my money is my money" mentality. It's no use depending on them. Men should make money and look for surrogate mums for children and slay queens/prostitutes for sex. No time to waste on a gender that loves you for your money and would leave you in hard times for a higher bidder. No time to waste on a gender that is too lazy, seeks free passes and never willing to contribute. It is foolish to wait upon these sort of personalities to contribute financially.

Giving birth to children and breastfeeding them shouldn't exempt the woman from contributing, they did not force her at gun point to give birth and breastfeed but most women are what they are — lazy, irresponsible(looking for free passes) and parasitic. Nothing stops her from working. Childbirth and breastfeeding are flimsy excuses, after all it's her child as well. Hope you get my context.

Chief, it's a simple case if the man is zmarried to his first wife under The Act i.e registry/court or church wedding then he cannot marry your baby mama as it's against the law unless he divorces his first wife. So if they try to go to the court to get wedded you can enter a caveat against a registrar certificate and stop the wedding from happening even before it happens.

Marrying her traditionally doesn't give him custody of the child legally even when traditions says otherwise unless the man in question is a muslim.

The only way the man can take custody of your child is as stated is:
1. Marries your baby mama legally meaning he'll have to divorce his current wife

2. If he's a muslim

3. If he legally adopts the child as is own oops!

My advice: double your hustle, hold on to God and believe in yourself. Things will turn out right

Lovelyn451:
if u like insult me from now till Jesus comes, nobody will release a child to an illegal father traditionally and Legally, what the girls parents told him is truth undiluted, even if he goes to the Hague's he'll hear thesame thing, don't underestimate the power of tradition because you're educated, this would be an uphill task for any lawyer to handle, he can only continue visiting his child and playing his fatherly roles until he's of age to decide naturally that he wants to be with his father

Please explain what an illegal father means.

wirinet:


Don't mind them, juveniles who have never had kids giving advice on feeding children. Ask them if her parents spent 25k per month to feed or tend them as babies.

I raised three children and I know that feeding babies is as expensive as you wish it to be. WHO recommends 6 months exclusive breastfeeding for your child to develop well mentally, physically and health wise, most igbo women breastfeed for over 1 year. After a year, the child can start eating adult foods (but mashed). There are some blended cheap but nutritious food blending that can substitute for expensive tin food. Not of my children agreed to eat those expensive tin mixes. I even tried SMA Gold, and non of my babies took it. My first son preferred oats with lots of milk, my last born (my daughter) loved golden morn, also with milk.

These people are talking like we did not feed our babies before the introduction of foreign food formula or their parents were weaned on foreign food mixes.

Dont mind those young girls who think it is the amount of money one keeps or makes in a month that makes one a man.

A man is simply that person who sees responsibility and takes it, it is not how much he makes.

I have 3 children too, non of them finished 1 tin of cerelac (we tried for each one for sake of our conscience). Only the 1st one had SMA Gold when the mother didnt have enough breast milk at 1st. My older children like Beverages eg Milo, Bornvita, Ovaltine, Horlicks and cereals like cornflakes, oats, golden morn and most of the Kellogg's range.

Those who say formula are unaware that it is a subtitute for breast milk in cases where the mother doesn't produce enough, died during child birth or for whatever reason doesn't want to breast feed.

People now see it as a status statement to feed their infants formulas while breast milk is the real deal. Children older than 6months have other requirements which even local women know how to produce with the right ingredients.

Martinez39:
Oga, not so fast. A woman ought to contribute too but many women are lazy and live to feed off men. Even the ones that have won't give because they have this "your money is our money, my money is my money" mentality. It's no use depending on them. Men should make money and look for surrogate mums for children and slay queens/prostitutes for sex. No time to waste on a gender that loves you for your money and would leave you in hard times for a higher bidder. No time to waste on a gender that is too lazy, seeks free passes and never willing to contribute. It is foolish to wait upon these sort of personalities to contribute financially.

Giving birth to children and breastfeeding them shouldn't exempt the woman from contributing, they did not force her at gun point to give birth and breastfeed but most women are what they are — lazy, irresponsible(looking for free passes) and parasitic. Nothing stops her from working. Childbirth and breastfeeding are flimsy excuses, after all it's her child as well. Hope you get my context.

I understand !

She has contributed by taking the child to a man who can adequately look after his own son without a woman's contribution.

Dangote and other rich men do not ask women to contribute to thier children - She is now with a rich man she made a mistake and as done the right thing - taken her egg to where it will be looked after.

That surrogate mum idea is superb too - Infact I love it ( surrogancy is not free - Surrogate mums charge about 3.5m if it is not their egg, for their egg they charge upwards of 20m and have the right to change their mind after the child is born, I don't think you can use your sister's eggs either because it may cause deformity so you will have to buy an egg - sha google it - it is expensive but you are capable ) I promise you if Poster gives his baby mama 500k she will be back in his house.

Plus will the surrogate mum contribute to the child's school fees too or do you intend to pay it alone??

If poster's baby mama leaves the baby with him for a month he will be the one to ask her to come and take the child to the rich man.

What he wants is free pussycat and a woman who financially looks after the child while he hopes his hustle pays. Act like the greatest of men to be great

adanny01:


Dont mind those young girls who think it is the amount of money one keeps or makes in a month that makes one a man.

A man is simply that person who sees responsibility and takes it, it is not how much he makes.

I have 3 children too, non of them finished 1 tin of cerelac (we tried for each one for sake of our conscience). Only the 1st one had SMA Gold when the mother didnt have enough breast milk at 1st. My older children like Beverages eg Milo, Bornvita, Ovaltine, Horlicks and cereals like cornflakes, oats, golden morn and most of the Kellogg's range.

Those who say formula are unaware that it is a subtitute for breast milk in cases where the mother doesn't produce enough, died during child birth or for whatever reason doesn't want to breast feed.

People now see it as a status statement to feed their infants formulas while breast milk is the real deal. Children older than 6months have other requirements which even local women know how to produce with the right ingredients.

How do you take responsibility without money Poor man logic

Lovelyn451:
if u like insult me from now till Jesus comes, nobody will release a child to an illegal father traditionally and Legally, what the girls parents told him is truth undiluted, even if he goes to the Hague's he'll hear thesame thing, don't underestimate the power of tradition because you're educated, this would be an uphill task for any lawyer to handle, he can only continue visiting his child and playing his fatherly roles until he's of age to decide naturally that he wants to be with his father

Illegal father you say?

There is a biological father, foster father, step father etc

Which 1 is illegal father? Which one is higher tradition or constitution?

Mutemenot:


I disagree with you, blood is blood.. there's no way a grown child who has traces of his father won't look back ... The Op you k ow today may not be the same tomorrow ... Every little beginning shouldn't be neglected

Take the blood to the school and use it to pay for school fees then

Ybaby:


How do you take responsibility without money Poor man logic

A leopard cannot hide its spots even if it shaves.

Money is not everything, am sure you are the kind of girl who will only marry a made guy, and remain married even if its an abusive or loveless marriage just for the sake of the money.

I acknowledge the existence of people like you.

Iogobenz:

Bros make your small money no go finish for court oh!
If I were you na to reason with that rich man make em pay me my cut and you can come back after many years to claim your child when he is older.
Otherwise,I'll say;
Nwanne jee chuba ego..
Because you will be needing a lot of it to claim that child with all the strings the rich guy can pull.
Person no dey lose 2 things!
Court no be for person weh never bath well o

Igbo people. Always seeing every thing as a business transaction/money making venture.

adanny01:


Dont mind those young girls who think it is the amount of money one keeps or makes in a month that makes one a man.

A man is simply that person who sees responsibility and takes it, it is not how much he makes.

I have 3 children too, non of them finished 1 tin of cerelac (we tried for each one for sake of our conscience). Only the 1st one had SMA Gold when the mother didnt have enough breast milk at 1st. My older children like Beverages eg Milo, Bornvita, Ovaltine, Horlicks and cereals like cornflakes, oats, golden morn and most of the Kellogg's range.

Those who say formula are unaware that it is a subtitute for breast milk in cases where the mother doesn't produce enough, died during child birth or for whatever reason doesn't want to breast feed.

People now see it as a status statement to feed their infants formulas while breast milk is the real deal. Children older than 6months have other requirements which even local women know how to produce with the right ingredients.

Don't mind these people who came from poverty striven backgrounds and was lucky to con a successful young man into putting them in his house.
They have now elevated breast milk substitutes to a status symbol. We have survived and even thrived for millenia without expensive baby formula, I don't know how they now think it is crucial to our survival.

I now believe poverty is a state of mind, rather a state of material things.

Ybaby:


I understand !

She has contributed by taking the child to a man who can adequately look after his own son without a woman's contribution.

Dangote and other rich men do not ask women to contribute to thier children - She is now with a rich man she made a mistake and as done the right thing - taken her egg to where it will be looked after.

That surrogate mum idea is superb too. Infact I love it - will the surogate mum contribute to the child's school fees too or do you intend to pay it alone??

If poster's baby mama leaves the baby with him for a month he will be the one to ask her to come and take the child to the rich man.

What he wants is free pussycat and a woman who financially looks after the child while he hopes his hustle pays. Act like the greatest of men to be great

Your logic is self-serving and flawed. Anyway, can I really expect much from a woman on this issue?

A surrogate mum's job is to give birth; breastfeed(optional); completely surrender the child to me; forget about the child and move on. Dangote or not, whether you like it or not, both parents owe it to their child(ren) to work and contribute. On no account should a parent be denied of their child(ren) — that's the main issue here. What happened to people taking responsibility for their actions? If, as a woman, you open your legs for a man that can only offer #15000 per month, then you must take responsibility for your mistakes and hustle to contribute and you shall not deny the father of his son. If the legal system worked in this country, the op would be ordered by court to see his son regularly. Every son is entitled to their father and every father is entitled to their son.

Unfortunately, the woman and child are gone. Op should go and hustle. Good day, no more mentions.

adanny01:


A leopard cannot hide its spots even if it shaves.

Money is not everything, am sure you are the kind of girl who will only marry a made guy, and remain married even if its an abusive or loveless marriage just for the sake of the money.

I acknowledge the existence of people like you.

My dear, when it comes to Children money is everything - Children are consumers, they donot produce anything in thier first 3 years except emotional gratitude - they just sleep, eat and school fees and repeat. Children are the greatest golddiggers especially boys - have you seen a woman's breastt after feeding a boy for 6 months - it becomes dilapited like bathroom slipper - they suck the milk and the blood. They come hungry from heaven nad if you donot give them food they will scream the house down. Not a poor man's hobby at all. Please if you are poor and want children - go hustle first.

linnyx:
Chief, it's a simple case if the man is zmarried to his first wife under The Act i.e registry/court or church wedding then he cannot marry your baby mama as it's against the law unless he divorces his first wife. So if they try to go to the court to get wedded you can enter a caveat against a registrar certificate and stop the wedding from happening even before it happens.

Marrying her traditionally doesn't give him custody of the child legally even when traditions says otherwise unless the man in question is a muslim.

The only way the man can take custody of your child is as stated is:
1. Marries your baby mama legally meaning he'll have to divorce his current wife

2. If he's a muslim

3. If he legally adopts the child as is own oops!

My advice: double your hustle, hold on to God and believe in yourself. Things will turn out right

so the man can take custody of the child if he's a Muslim, but can't take custody if he marries the lady traditionally?

Martinez39:
Your logic is self-serving and flawed. Anyway, can I really expect much from a woman on this issue?

A surrogate mum's job is to give birth; breastfeed(optional); completely surrender the child to me; forget about the child and move on. Dangote or not, whether you like it or not, both parents owe it to their child(ren) to work and contribute. On no account should a parent be denied of their child(ren) — that's the main issue here. What happened to people taking responsibility for their actions? If, as a woman, you open your legs for a man that can only offer #15000 per month, then you must take responsibility for your mistakes and hustle to contribute and you shall not deny the father of his son. If the legal system worked in this country, the op would be ordered by court to see his son regularly. Every son is entitled to their father and every father is entitled to their son.

Unfortunately, the woman and child are gone. Op should go and hustle. Good day, no more mentions.

Will you pay the surrogate mum or is it free?

She has corrected her mistake - the child is now with a provider

wirinet:

Don't mind these people who came from poverty striven backgrounds and was lucky to con a successful young man into putting them in house.
They have now elevated breast milk substitutes to a status symbol. We have survived and even thrived for millenia without expensive baby formula, I don't know how they now think it is crucial to our survival.

I now believe poverty is a state of mind, rather a state of material things.

My father is a great provider and i went to the best of schools i.e Corona

My husband is a great provider and my kids are in the best of schools i.e Chrisland

Are you a provider? Do you want a better job? I can help

[Qquote author=otobasin2323 post=80207378]Good day nairalanders, ( pls ignore my errors, I am not good in typing ) I had a baby with one lady from rivers state(ex girlfriend) and I am from imo state, the baby turns out to be a boy he is 2 years old now. The lady lived with me during her pregnancy and also Gave birth under my roof.. 9months after giving birth, we started having issue. Based on am not well to do.. Cause my hustle ain't paying off. She left the house with my son. Later on she and her family found a man who has been married for so long but no child.. But the man is very wealthy and well to do in the society, the man is also from their town in rivers state ,she agreed to be the second wife so he can claim the child.

on hearing this I rejected it and met with her family so they can release my son to me and she can go ahead and marry whom ever she likes.. To my greatest suprise they all decline to my request but gave her full support that she should go ahead quoting me that in their tradition "any man that marries a lady that is with a child the child automatically answers the man's name"

With this statement it got me sad, angry cause I love my son with all my heart I don't want another man to father him.. Every month I Normally send her 15k for keep up my son... She ain't satisfied.. That am too poor for her liking... How do I take her to court the only documents I have here.. Is my sons birth certificate, his pictures with me. And all the receipt of the money I normally sent to her monthly... Pls I seriously need advice or suggestions. Thank you[/quote]


All you need is a good lawyer who will go to court and demand custody on your behalf. A DNA test should reveal you are the father of the Child.

That their custom is repugnant to natural justice and will not be upheld by any court.

Ybaby:


Take the blood to the school and use it to pay for school fees then

As if school is your last hope in life... You are probably a student, by the time you get to a certain age you 'll retract your comments here ....

axglide:


Bros you're wrong.

Generally under customary Law in Nigeria,the father has an absolute right to the custody of his legitimate or legitimated children.

U are very wrong there.
Say that some places but not all.
E.g., in my place. The mother has absolute right(100%) to the child as long as no dowry or knocking was done. Even if the father is her neighbour and the child carbon copy of the man.

So it's always adviced that even if u don't have money, take few of ur people, rush to the lady's family and introduce yourself and do small commitment. If u fail to do that and the baby is finally born, dude, u are strictly on your own. U will never win even in supreme court. Respect court of the land.

In this guys case, he want to marry her and she dont want so he will win custody of his child as long as there is evidence he is providing for him monthly and he is doing so well. 15 thousand is good. Very good. He should document all he has been giving her. Rivers people that use their daughters to do biz on top men head.
If he has any of his item still with him, he should save for DNA.
Continue providing.
At the right time, not now, he will go for his kid. That lady will lose custody and the child will hate her too.
What a selfish family.

Ybaby:


My father is a great provider and i went to the best of schools i.e Corona

My husband is a great provider and my kids are in the best of schools i.e Chrisland

Are you a provider? Do you want a better job? I can help

You that can't get a high paying job for yourself want to give someone else a job.

From what you wrote, you have always leached on others for your survival, even into adulthood. It probably the way you were raised to have an entitlement mentality. I will never raise my children to feel they are entitled to sustainance by anyone else in their adulthood. This is why I spend much on other extra curricular activities for my children, computer and music lessons.

I grew up and schooled on the island - Ikoyi and Victoria Island, so you had nothing special to envy.

How do you rate the best schools? Is it by the fees or by performance in external exams? How many times have students from these schools rated among the best students in common entrance. My children's school was among the best performing students in last year's lagos common entrance exams. My nephew had one of the best result in WAEC and JAMB exams two years ago, and he attended an average level private secondary school, he was denied admission into UNILAG because he was only 15.
Money is important, but raising well balanced anx happy children goes beyond money.