Reading through

spongeisback:
Traditionally the boy doesn't belong to you. Even if you go to court they would never ever ever grant you custody of that child except you can prove he's not being well taken care of by his mother.

My advice, open an account in his name, instead of giving cash to his mother pay the money into that account and send it to her through the account, document everything you spend on him and make sure you contribute to his upbringing as much as you can. Be there for every milestone in his life because if you take the "one day he will look for me approach" it may come back to hunt you.

Sorry.

Instead of you to shut up if you don't know what to say, you're typing nonsense. You think paternity is the same as custody?

He owns the child 100%. The court won't grant him custody but can compel the lady to grant him access based on mutually agreed terms which are judicially enforceable.

spongeisback:
Traditionally the boy doesn't belong to you. Even if you go to court they would never ever ever grant you custody of that child except you can prove he's not being well taken care of by his mother.

My advice, open an account in his name, instead of giving cash to his mother pay the money into that account and send it to her through the account, document everything you spend on him and make sure you contribute to his upbringing as much as you can. Be there for every milestone in his life because if you take the "one day he will look for me approach" it may come back to hunt you.


Sorry.

Where is DNA, Court can claim his child for him. Even if hes never spent a dime on him before. So, long he's sane right now, responsible and have a tangible source of income. Worst that can happen is that they can share custody. Law will recognise him as the father because he's coming out so early. But i advise you have a good source of income because they would want to know if you can take care of the boy ... Get a good lawyer.

Kehl:


SO NOT TRUE!!! Don't mislead the young man

Don't mind the unenlightened idiot.

Wrong on all fronts

If you need quality advice on this issue, meet a legal practitioner (i.e. lawyer) and explain everything in details to him/her. The next best person to seek advice from is a marriage counsellor.

You cannot take custody of the boy, unless you can proove beyond reasonable doubt that the mother is unable to care for the child.

A son will always look for his father no matter what happens. Document how you've cared for him and leave the matter to fate because as for now, the odds are against you.
Also your life may be at risk because the man that will marry your ex girlfriend, being childless will do anything to make sure you don't come to claim your someday. Be careful.

kernniejay:
If you need quality advice on this issue, meet a legal practitioner (i.e. lawyer) and explain everything in details to him/her. The next best person to seek advice from is a marriage counsellor.

There was no wedding.

You're a very very big fool. Did you read the OP? Didn't you see where he said that what the lady's family said to him? Are you normal? Who raised a useless rat like you? You just come on the internet to insult because you have access. Come on get out from here you hopeless bastard.

VillagePipu:


Instead of you to shut up if you don't know what to say, you're typing nonsense. You think paternity is the same as custody?

He owns the child 100%. The court won't grant him custody but can compel the lady to grant him access based on mutually agreed terms which are judicially enforceable.

spongeisback:
You didn't even read the OP before quoting me. He isn't after his rights as a father, he wants the boy to be given to him. No competent court/judge will grant his request as long as the boy is being well taken care of by his mother.

Not totally true, as there are no clear cut victories going into court.

If he gets a good lawyer, the child can even be taken from the mother, if they stress attempted and actual parental alienation on the part of the mother.

The courts favors the kids to have access to both parents...from his story, it appear that the mother in collusion with the step-father and her people have engaged in alienating him from the life of the child and to give the child to the step-father in the name of their tradition.

Obviously the child’s continual stay with the mother under those conditions, will not foster a good relationship with father, which law requires.

I understand fully well that, this is Nigeria and that, the highest bidder can sometimes buy the most favorable outcome in courts.

You cant force them to give you the child but you can make sure the child bears your name..

otobasin2323:

She don't even want me to pay a dime on her head . she sees me as a broke ass failure... Talk about me settling down with her she declined.. She has fallen in love with the wealthy man accepting to be second wife.. I just need my Son

bro let me tel you a deep truth may be hard to swallow. Look focus and get yourself and your finances grounded. Ignore all of them totally. Believe me the child will come back. You don't need to disturb or stress yourself. Its a natural law I've seen playing out times without number.

Can't you people read for crying out loud? How many minutes will it take you to read and understand the OP.
Her family said traditionally the child isn't his and the He wants to take the boy from the mom. He doesn't want to be recognized as the father of the boy, he wants custody.

Stillthebest:


Where is DNA, Court can claim his child for him. Even if hes never spent a dime on him before. So, long he's sane right now, responsible and have a tangible source of income. Worst that can happen is that they can share custody. Law will recognise him as the father because he's coming out so early. But i advise you have a good source of income because they would want to know if you can take care of the boy ... Get a good lawyer.

spongeisback:
You're a very very big fool. Did you read the OP? Didn't you see where he said that what the lady's family said to him? Are you normal? Who raised a useless rat like you? You just come on the internet to insult because you have access. Come on get out from here you hopeless bastard.

Your father is a bastard and you come from a long lineage of bastards.

That boy belongs to the guy. The girl's parents can argue tradition all they want but the law is what it is.

You like your idiotic father are a monkey that can't climb a tree. Useless on the ground, hopeless on the trees and God would punish you. Worthless mongrel, read what others are telling you and see how stupid you sound.

All these Port Harcourt thugs that think life begins and ends in Rivers state. Go out and see life, una no go gree. Now, you're talking nonsense based on your local traditions in your village. Oponu

otobasin2323:
Good day nairalanders, ( pls ignore my errors, I am not good in typing ) I had a baby with one lady from rivers state(ex girlfriend) and I am from imo state, the baby turns out to be a boy he is 2 years old now. The lady lived with me during her pregnancy and also Gave birth under my roof.. 9months after giving birth, we started having issue. Based on am not well to do.. Cause my hustle ain't paying off. She left the house with my son. Later on she and her family found a man who has been married for so long but no child.. But the man is very wealthy and well to do in the society, the man is also from their town in rivers state ,she agreed to be the second wife so he can claim the child.

on hearing this I rejected it and met with her family so they can release my son to me and she can go ahead and marry whom ever she likes.. To my greatest suprise they all decline to my request but gave her full support that she should go ahead quoting me that in their tradition "any man that marries a lady that is with a child the child automatically answers the man's name"

With this statement it got me sad, angry cause I love my son with all my heart I don't want another man to father him.. Every month I Normally send her 15k for keep up my son... She ain't satisfied.. That am too poor for her liking... How do I take her to court the only documents I have here.. Is my sons birth certificate, his pictures with me. And all the receipt of the money I normally sent to her monthly... Pls I seriously need advice or suggestions. Thank you

Please save your monthly 15k for 2 years, file a court case for custody and request a DNA test for evidence of paternity.
Forget tradition when you have the law of the land on your side. But while filling a case look for court with high integrity judge and never file your case in Rivers state or any state that the man influential.

No court will award that child to the father OK? The boy isn't even up to two years old. He wants to take the child from her and he's not fighting for shared custody.

linearity:


Not totally true, as there are no clear cut victories going into court.

If he gets a good lawyer, the child can even be taken from the mother, if they stress attempted and actual parental alienation on the part of the mother.

The courts favors the kids to have access to both parents...from his story, it appear that the mother in collusion with the step-father and her people have engaged in alienating him from the life of the child and to give the child to the step-father in the name of their tradition.

Obviously the child’s continual stay with the mother under those conditions, will not foster a good relationship with father, which law requires.

I understand fully well that, this is Nigeria and that, the highest bidder can sometimes buy the most favorable outcome in courts.

spongeisback:
Can't you people read for crying out loud? How many minutes will it take you to read and understand the OP.
Her family said traditionally the child isn't his and the He want to take the boy from the mom. He doesn't want to be recognized as the father of the boy, he wants custody.

Why he has to use the court. Except the choses to live on that traditionalism

biacan:
You should have work more had she wouldn't have left you........ Men and brokness nawaooo

see Bianca warn Ur self ooooo,make I no come wound up,,,, try to download akpan and oduma comedy am not in the mood plz

As per getting custody of the child, that would be difficult. The court would naturally give custody of little children to the mother, except in cases where the mother is proven to be incompetent. Having said that, you can't be denied your rights as the legal father - tradition or not. The constitution supercedes any traditional law. It a good thing you have the birth certificate, with your surnames on it. It will be difficult for your wife to get another one with a different name. You can fight for visitation rights and other parental rights in the courts.
Your main problem will be the corrupt and expensive judicial process. Lawyers are quite expensive and the law is always skewed in favour of of the rich.

I suggest you also get human rights organisation involved. As long as you don't give up, you will get your parental rights over your son.

alphaNomega:


There was no wedding.

Yeah, i know. But if he can meet any, they will give him useful advice and steps he can take based on their experiences.

Even tradition cannot take over blood. That is your son. Go to the courts with media presence.

See mumu. That's the way you come online to insult your parents. Hopeless dog.
Read no you won't only to do drugs that you know how to. Too bad I don't believe in any version of God so I guess no punishment for me.
Hahahahahahahahaha

VillagePipu:


Your father is a bastard and you come from a long lineage of bastards.

That boy belongs to the guy. The girl's parents can argue tradition all they want but the law is what it is.

You like your idiotic father are a monkey that can't climb a tree. Useless on the ground, hopeless on the trees and God would punish you. Worthless mongrel.

Generally under customary Law in Nigeria,the father has an absolute right to the custody of his legitimate or legitimated children. However for custody of Legitimate children, under common Law a father has absolute right to the custody of his legitimate children under maturity.Even at his death, the mother cannot claim custody .

Source: https://asknigeria.com.ng/topic/278/child-custody-in-nigeria

Guy the law favors you, but you need Money. All the best.

are you okay?

spongeisback:
Traditionally the boy doesn't belong to you. Even if you go to court they would never ever ever grant you custody of that child except you can prove he's not being well taken care of by his mother.

My advice, open an account in his name, instead of giving cash to his mother pay the money into that account and send it to her through the account, document everything you spend on him and make sure you contribute to his upbringing as much as you can. Be there for every milestone in his life because if you take the "one day he will look for me approach" it may come back to hunt you.


Sorry.

15k cannot do nothing for that child. How much is baby food? How much is daycare? etc

I will be honest with you - allow that rich man to look after that child biko and try and make money - take courses, hustle, get a job etc.

A child belongs comes out of who? the father or the mother?? it is who a mother gives her child to that is the father. Ok!? No one is sure who thier true father is - it is whoever your mum tells you is your father that is your father! Ok!?

Get money before you try for another baby with the next lucky lady or that one too will give your child to the highest bidder.

Most woman don't know babies are expensive until they have them - a mother's job is to do what is best for her child. Try and understand. Go make some money.

I have included prices of baby things below - does not contain school fees. He is mine is not the point here - It is can you give him a good life? You need to man up it is not about sperm. Once a child is on earth it is about provision. People will say otherwise but don't let anyone trick you. If you love that child you will let the rich man adopt him and use your ego to make money. Your child does not need your love as much as he needs diapers and formula

The truth hurts and I am sorry

biacan:
You should have work more had she wouldn't have left you........ Men and brokness nawaooo

Biacan, the next time I see you post nonsense here about broke men, I would upload screenshot of your chat where you are begging boys on Nairaland for money.

If your father worked hard when his mates were working hard, you won't be a cyber beggar, begging everyone for money.

Are you kidding me right now? Read the OP for crissake! He isn't looking for recognition as the father of the child but he wants to take the boy away from his mother!

Stillthebest:


Why he has to use the court. Except the choses to live on that traditionalism

Yes I am. Are you?

Olarewaju89:
are you okay?

Too bad. This is why I always advise boys to hustle and make it before they get married. A lot of issues would have been avoided if you kept your pen1s one place and hustled. What is 15k? The boy is out of your reach. The rich man will do all he can to claim the boy's mind so his investment will not be in vain. Forget about the boy and set your priorities straight and go hustle. If you remain poor and that man remains rich, even your son will reject you for the rich father. Can you reject Bill Gates as your adoptive father for you biological father who is a road side mechanic that can't feed himself? The only exception is if your son makes it big and can afford to accommodate you but what are the chances that he will make it big?

Beside, any man that gives birth to a child they can't comfortably take care of is a wicked and irresponsible man and not fit to be called a good father. Oga, go hustle. When you make it, you son will come back.

Boys, place hustle. When you make it, you will avoid a lot of issues. Personally, I would advise men focus on themselves; forget relationships and marriage; use surrogate mums/housemaids for childbirth/upkeep; and use prostitutes/slay queens for sex. No time to waste on a gender that loves you for your money and won't hesitate to leave you for the higher bidder. Develop and enjoy yourself biko.

spongeisback:
Traditionally the boy doesn't belong to you. Even if you go to court they would never ever ever grant you custody of that child except you can prove he's not being well taken care of by his mother.

My advice, open an account in his name, instead of giving cash to his mother pay the money into that account and send it to her through the account, document everything you spend on him and make sure you contribute to his upbringing as much as you can. Be there for every milestone in his life because if you take the "one day he will look for me approach" it may come back to hunt you.


Sorry.

Bros you're wrong.

Generally under customary Law in Nigeria,the father has an absolute right to the custody of his legitimate or legitimated children.

https://asknigeria.com.ng/topic/278/child-custody-in-nigeria

biacan:
You should have work more had she wouldn't have left you........ Men and brokness nawaooo

Was he not working to be giving her #15000? What was she doing to supplement?