₦airaland Forum

Ashley34:
As a guy with twin Gene in his family, he can only transfer the gene to his daughters not his wife. Baby only women dey ovulate. Check your Google

If you insist Ashley, got to rest my case

You don't want the container but you want the content? All you want is the children the lady can go to hell for all you care? You are very wicked and self centered if i were her you wouldn't even smell the presence of the children never i will make sure they have nothing to do with you

daddytime:
Typing a very personal story to give an idea on why I admonished the op the way I did with my first submission until he went on a tantrum-throwing spree.

...

Growing up in the standard Lagos face me I slap you setting in Mafoluku Oshodi when the Military boys held sway in Nigeria, most of the matures here or history savvy's would understand how hopeless and depressing the economy and general standard of living was at this time.

Now, daddy and mummy had chosen to manufacture 11 of us as kids, and I'd be saddled with the onerous task of being the Nigerian "first son" with loads of expectation from me on finding a way to alleviate the family's situation and by extension better the lots of kids I had been brought into the world with at my parents behest and not because I had chosen to come to them.

You can at best imagine daddy, mum, we the kids and a cousin living with us then having to jostle for a space in two-room living space from a sixteen-room face me I face you living set up.

Not able to wrap my mind around the kind of life I had been born into and in the quest to better mine and my family's lot, I decided I was going to quit school, find a way to travel abroad, and go hustle for my family.

Before then, a bachelor neighbor Oli, had chosen our house as the only trusted one where he could drop his keys because he lived with his boys/friends who were all traders at Idumota.

There was one of his roomies who was in his 40's then (Ikenna), he was always ever the last to leave home and would, as usual, drop their key at mine.

My immediate younger sister (Mary) had just finished high school, naive and still a virgin, she'd naturally be at home most times.

In the midst of all these, I had found out I could risk my life through the desert in search of a better life abroad, after all how I want to take get a visa, and if I die, I die but I had decided I'd rather die trying instead of sitting, watching my family ravaged by poverty and still die. All die na die I had told my young self.

Got myself prepped, lied to my dad and made him raise me some little cash, and into the desert, I proceeded.

For two whole years, I had languished on the road and was only able to communicate with my family only after about 6 months of living home. For sure they'd thought I had gone back to my maker.

After the two unforgettable years of languish, I had succeeded into Spain eventually, called up daddy to break the news to him, he didn't quite believe me. Note that this was before the era of mobile phones in Nigeria. Sensing that daddy was having a hard time believing I was in Spain finally, I had dropped the line, did a western union money transfer from the locotorium I was calling from, called him back and furnished him with the transfer details.

Then and only then was I able to convince daddy otherwise.

And then, keeping to my nomadic and adventurous lifestyle, I had proceeded on to move on to the Netherlands to go tell the authorities there how I and my friendly 'horse' on whose back I had ridden to Europe were the only ones surviving from my little village in Delta, hence my request to seek asylum in their country.

Luckily for me, I had succeeded in convincing them to allow me to stay in the Netherlands and would be given a weekly stipend as pocket money back then in camp. From this money I'd call home on weekends, talk to my family and always assured my other siblings that I'd make sure they had the best education having slaughtered mine on the altar of "I wan bail family out".

During one of such weekend calls, after the usual pleasantries exchanged, daddy had told me in a stutter....

" Mary, your younger sister fell pregnant and now has a daughter"...

Ah ah... I had muttered in obvious instant deflation plus disappointment, but I had refused to get angry, judge my sister or castigate her.

I asked daddy, how, when and by whom...


Still stuttering, he had told me it was like a month after I had left Nigeria, she initially wasn't forthcoming with who was responsible, how it had brought shame to the family which I could imagine knowing how our neighbors were, and how even some people had been insinuating that daddy who was a deeper life pastor might be responsible because no one could make a sense of how Mary who was a home girl could fall pregnant. The whole matter weak me like dodo, but I listened with rapt attention anyways.

And then, daddy said she later confessed that Ikenna, who we called Brother Ikenna was responsible. He had denied responsibility but when my battalion siblings faced him, he had accepted responsibility with zero plans to marry her just like this op.

I told dad how disappointed I was, and how angry I am that they had kept it away from me for that long, told them not to worry that I'd take care of my sister and the kid and hung up.

Fast forward to 2008 when I visited Nigeria, the baby Vic had grown, obviously abandoned with my family. She'd grown up to see my mum as hers and Mary as aunty Mary until recently.

Levels had changed, I had improved my family's situation, built them a house in Lagos, Ikenna gone with the wind, and would soon resurface looking for daddy's number and whoever could point him on how to locate my family.

By this time he should be in his 50s, no life, wife or any other kid. Come and see abeg.


My phone would go bellowing one day, upon picking up, the voice at the other end had been subtle and subdued with a "good afternoon sir, na me Ikenna"...

Ah ah..bwoda Ikenna, na me you dey call sir?

He went on, abeg no vex for wetin happen I know say I Bleep up...wetin i wan tell bwoda Ikenna after how many years... I simply dropped the call.. I no fit shout.

The long and short of it all is that, today over 20 years later...

Brother Ikenna's life is nothing to write home about.

Mary, my younger sister is today happily married and would soon be one of the youngest grandmas because Vicky, the kid in question had grown into a very beautiful young promising graduate.

This is the story What about the young girl you impregnated at 14??

You are very stupid for comparing with an irresponsible fellow. How does this your stupid story relate to the issue on ground?

Did anybody force me to take responsibility? Did I abandon her?? Have I not been protecting and taking care of her all this while?

How does this your stupid story relate to this?? How?
I can see your problem. You don't want to hear anything from me because you are still angry how your ikenna treated your sister.

Like I said earlier. You are not matured with your thinking and response. The only reason you are still here is because this is not Facebook. I for don block you. Can you imagine nonsense?

So all this while you are being unreasonably stupid was because of what one irresponsible man did to your sister. You dey mad I swear.

A fool who couldn't put his life together impregnated your sister and you are comlaring with me? At my young age do you know how far I have gone?? Say I poor for this life be sey God follow talk am so ifbit happens I don't marru her tomorrow. She can get married to dangote or buhari I don't care. All I know is I will alway play my part and be there for her untill she wouldn't need me anymore.

All this post I was making about planning a life for her you have not been seeing it. How dis I abandon her? This is my last reply to you. You can go f*ck yourself.

This also goes to your likes who are all over this page unleashing their frustration.

You didn't want her from the onset but you kept taking her back, not once not twice but thrice! Really?


If you don't want someone why be with them in the first place? Is that not madness? To think you could have gotten your "better options" yet you couldn't be firm with your decision who is fooling who?


Anyway the deed has been done, I hope you're doing everything you said you are for the sake of the kids. I strongly believe they are yours and you know it too but you can go ahead with a paternity test to confirm.

Please if the children are yours do not fail to stand in as their father and do EVERYTHING a father should. I'm stressing on everything because I saw someone advice you not to do everything I mean that's really absurd they are your kids aren't they? Why wouldn't a father want to do everything he can for his kids?

Please remember that taking care of a child is difficult already let alone taking care of two, at a time! And the mother in question is a young woman haba lets be guided.

You can set her up like someone suggested also, so she can take care of herself and impromptu expenses regarding the kids or herself.

Lastly if she is really not what you want then do not marry her because I'm sure you will make life a living hell for her. I just feel for her because most men wouldn't want to get married to a woman with a kid much less two. Even you wouldn't want that for yourself but you have put a young woman in that situation.

However if her shortcomings are things you can live with then it wouldn't be bad to consider marriage. The lady in question loves you silly, you could build a good home with her who knows?

PS: IF the pregnancy ends up not being yours please set her up, do it from your goodwill, don't bail out on her without being of assistance in anyway you can. It doesn't make you stupid or any less of a man.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Well, she said she's having a twins. That's my concern.

You're too sentimental for my liking.

J111333:
Sorry I had to quote you because I want you to read what I have to tell you. I have lived in the States for awhile now and I'm probably as young as you with all my ambitions.
You said this girl loved you and you also said she was loyal to you. Bro, those two words are all you need in a wife especially now you live abroad and now she also has your kids. Believe me, if you loose that girl without having another trusted girl before you left, you'll regret it. By the time you come back to look for a wife, you'll realize you had missed the devil you knew well because every girl you'll meet will hide her true character. I'm going through this currently only to find out that the girls are monsters putting on sheep's clothing.
You now live abroad so damn her family. Marry her and take her away from her family and you guys will be alright.

better oil dey your head, make I dey follow you. Dalu

sirdouglas:
This is the story What about the young girl you impregnated at 14??

You are very stupid for comparing with an irresponsible fellow. How does this your stupid story relate to the issue on ground?

Did anybody force me to take responsibility? Did I abandon her?? Have I not been protecting and taking care of her all this while?

How does this your stupid story relate to this?? How?
I can see your problem. You don't want to hear anything from me because you are still angry how your ikenna treated your sister.

Like I said earlier. You are not matured with your thinking and response. The only reason you are still here is because this is not Facebook. I for don block you. Can you imagine nonsense?

So all this while you are being unreasonably stupid was because of what one irresponsible man did to your sister. You dey mad I swear.

A fool who couldn't put his life together impregnated your sister and you are comlaring with me? At my young age do you know how far I have gone?? Say I poor for this life be sey God follow talk am so ifbit happens I don't marru her tomorrow. She can get married to dangote or buhari I don't care. All I know is I will alway play my part and be there for her untill she wouldn't need me anymore.

All this post I was making about planning a life for her you have not been seeing it. How dis I abandon her? This is my last reply to you. You can go f*ck yourself.

This also goes to your likes who are all over this page unleashing their frustration.

You are apparently soft in the head. How could you read his story and responded with this? Whew! Do you see why you were attracted to a girl who had no sense at all, to start with? Your reasoning capacity isn't far from hers! Meanwhile, I pray this gets sorted with happy ending fa.

Insult me all you like, you aren't exactly bright fa.

Chiefqueenn:
Wait o. You don't want to marry her because she doesn't sweep your house and she's from Anambra state? Is there something wrong with your hands that you cant sweep by yourself? bleeped her without condoms. What were you expecting? Potatoes?? Tbh you don't even sound like someone that is intelligent. You're not good enough and its sad that she is too naive to see that. You want her to keep the babies but she doesn't want to. Your opinion matters and hers doesn't? I don't support abortion, but I believe that women should have the right to do what they want with their bodies, especially if the guy she's having the babies for is someone like this. Please, for her sake, don't marry her. Imagine. What do you think you are sef. She doesn't sweep for you. Mtchew. Girls really need to stop acting stupid. Disgusting.

He swore never to marry from that state and yet he was sleeping with someone from that same state without condoms. I think he was looking for us to congratulate him and for someone from Anambra to tell him how to reclaim his children back. That's after insulting them publicly.

What an imp.

sirdouglas:
This is the story What about the young girl you impregnated at 14??

You are very stupid for comparing with an irresponsible fellow. How does this your stupid story relate to the issue on ground?

Did anybody force me to take responsibility? Did I abandon her?? Have I not been protecting and taking care of her all this while?

How does this your stupid story relate to this?? How?
I can see your problem. You don't want to hear anything from me because you are still angry how your ikenna treated your sister.

Like I said earlier. You are not matured with your thinking and response. The only reason you are still here is because this is not Facebook. I for don block you. Can you imagine nonsense?

So all this while you are being unreasonably stupid was because of what one irresponsible man did to your sister. You dey mad I swear.

A fool who couldn't put his life together impregnated your sister and you are comlaring with me? At my young age do you know how far I have gone?? Say I poor for this life be sey God follow talk am so ifbit happens I don't marru her tomorrow. She can get married to dangote or buhari I don't care. All I know is I will alway play my part and be there for her untill she wouldn't need me anymore.

All this post I was making about planning a life for her you have not been seeing it. How dis I abandon her? This is my last reply to you. You can go f*ck yourself.

This also goes to your likes who are all over this page unleashing their frustration.

Wherever you are or think you have ran to, there are still trucks like Dangotes, especially that China wey you dey.

Na one of those trucks go jam and crush your empty numb arrogant skull.

Useless thing.

Ogun wipe you from the face of the earth.

deltateam:
He swore never to marry from that state and yet he was sleeping with someone from that same state without condoms. I think he was looking for us to congratulate him and for someone from Anambra to tell him how to reclaim his children back. That's after insulting them publicly.

What an imp.

The fool. I was highly offended as I'm from Anambra state. It has come to the point where people are now judged by where they're from, not what they are. Smh.

daddytime:
Typing a very personal story to give an idea on why I admonished the op the way I did with my first submission until he went on a tantrum-throwing spree.

...

Growing up in the standard Lagos face me I slap you setting in Mafoluku Oshodi when the Military boys held sway in Nigeria, most of the matures here or history savvy's would understand how hopeless and depressing the economy and general standard of living was at this time.

Now, daddy and mummy had chosen to manufacture 11 of us as kids, and I'd be saddled with the onerous task of being the Nigerian "first son" with loads of expectation from me on finding a way to alleviate the family's situation and by extension better the lots of kids I had been brought into the world with at my parents behest and not because I had chosen to come to them.

You can at best imagine daddy, mum, we the kids and a cousin living with us then having to jostle for a space in two-room living space from a sixteen-room face me I face you living set up.

Not able to wrap my mind around the kind of life I had been born into and in the quest to better mine and my family's lot, I decided I was going to quit school, find a way to travel abroad, and go hustle for my family.

Before then, a bachelor neighbor Oli, had chosen our house as the only trusted one where he could drop his keys because he lived with his boys/friends who were all traders at Idumota.

There was one of his roomies who was in his 40's then (Ikenna), he was always ever the last to leave home and would, as usual, drop their key at mine.

My immediate younger sister (Mary) had just finished high school, naive and still a virgin, she'd naturally be at home most times.

In the midst of all these, I had found out I could risk my life through the desert in search of a better life abroad, after all how I want to take get a visa, and if I die, I die but I had decided I'd rather die trying instead of sitting, watching my family ravaged by poverty and still die. All die na die I had told my young self.

Got myself prepped, lied to my dad and made him raise me some little cash, and into the desert, I proceeded.

For two whole years, I had languished on the road and was only able to communicate with my family only after about 6 months of living home. For sure they'd thought I had gone back to my maker.

After the two unforgettable years of languish, I had succeeded into Spain eventually, called up daddy to break the news to him, he didn't quite believe me. Note that this was before the era of mobile phones in Nigeria. Sensing that daddy was having a hard time believing I was in Spain finally, I had dropped the line, did a western union money transfer from the locotorium I was calling from, called him back and furnished him with the transfer details.

Then and only then was I able to convince daddy otherwise.

And then, keeping to my nomadic and adventurous lifestyle, I had proceeded on to move on to the Netherlands to go tell the authorities there how I and my friendly 'horse' on whose back I had ridden to Europe were the only ones surviving from my little village in Delta, hence my request to seek asylum in their country.

Luckily for me, I had succeeded in convincing them to allow me to stay in the Netherlands and would be given a weekly stipend as pocket money back then in camp. From this money I'd call home on weekends, talk to my family and always assured my other siblings that I'd make sure they had the best education having slaughtered mine on the altar of "I wan bail family out".

During one of such weekend calls, after the usual pleasantries exchanged, daddy had told me in a stutter....

" Mary, your younger sister fell pregnant and now has a daughter"...

Ah ah... I had muttered in obvious instant deflation plus disappointment, but I had refused to get angry, judge my sister or castigate her.

I asked daddy, how, when and by whom...


Still stuttering, he had told me it was like a month after I had left Nigeria, she initially wasn't forthcoming with who was responsible, how it had brought shame to the family which I could imagine knowing how our neighbors were, and how even some people had been insinuating that daddy who was a deeper life pastor might be responsible because no one could make a sense of how Mary who was a home girl could fall pregnant. The whole matter weak me like dodo, but I listened with rapt attention anyways.

And then, daddy said she later confessed that Ikenna, who we called Brother Ikenna was responsible. He had denied responsibility but when my battalion siblings faced him, he had accepted responsibility with zero plans to marry her just like this op.

I told dad how disappointed I was, and how angry I am that they had kept it away from me for that long, told them not to worry that I'd take care of my sister and the kid and hung up.

Fast forward to 2008 when I visited Nigeria, the baby Vic had grown, obviously abandoned with my family. She'd grown up to see my mum as hers and Mary as aunty Mary until recently.

Levels had changed, I had improved my family's situation, built them a house in Lagos, Ikenna gone with the wind, and would soon resurface looking for daddy's number and whoever could point him on how to locate my family.

By this time he should be in his 50s, no life, wife or any other kid. Come and see abeg.


My phone would go bellowing one day, upon picking up, the voice at the other end had been subtle and subdued with a "good afternoon sir, na me Ikenna"...

Ah ah..bwoda Ikenna, na me you dey call sir?

He went on, abeg no vex for wetin happen I know say I Bleep up...wetin i wan tell bwoda Ikenna after how many years... I simply dropped the call.. I no fit shout.

The long and short of it all is that, today over 20 years later...

Brother Ikenna's life is nothing to write home about.

Mary, my younger sister is today happily married and would soon be one of the youngest grandmas because Vicky, the kid in question had grown into a very beautiful young promising graduate.

awwww I'm touched.

mirexxx:
awwww I'm touched. my story is almost the same

That's life sis..

daddytime:
That's life bro...

Bro? He is a she. Lol

Chiefqueenn:
Bro? He is a she. Lol

Lol...no mind me are

Why your eyeglass rim enter your nostril?

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

It seems you already have all your defense mechanisms put in place before coming online, i see you are more in war of words than seeking for advice or solution as you claimed. Sincerely , i initially did not just sympathize with you but i was also engulfed with empathy on how one should marry out of pity, what i deduced from your post is this, you knew from onset you you had a personal distrust for Anambra women, why did you at all start the relationship? You portray yourself as not being any young going by that you should be dating a more matured lady who is ready for marriage and not a 19year old teenager who could hardly know her right from left, You just wanted to take advantage of her innocence and vulnerability why? why?why?why.....You claim she does not meet your profile for a wife... Did you put into consideration her tender age and the level of her exposure and enlightenment? Education and enlightenment gives people better exposure to life. This little girl truely loved you hence her frequent coming back, this love would have moved mountains if given her the opportunity. Personally i see all the niceness you portray to extend to her presently as being a way of suppressing your guilt. My sincere opinion please marry this girl make her what you want in a wife and see yourself happy ever after.

daddytime:
Lol...no mind me are

Why your eyeglass rim enter your nostril?

raphroye:
You're not ready to marry her because she's not intelligent enough.

You contracted a disease from her.

You broke up with her three times and you took her back again.

You had the chance to set her free before she got pregnant but your dick won't let you free her, now you told her not to abort the pregnancy, even after you made her realized that you cannot marry her.

You went to see her family that you're responsible for her pregnancy, but you cannot marry her ( Now you're saying her family is bad after you impregnated their daughter and still have the guts to tell them that you cannot marry her)

Now, you're here asking us if you should marry her out of pity?? if i slap you ehn! How would you feel as a parent if a boy impregnates your daughter and still have the guts to tell you that he cannot marry her?
oloshi ni e ( stupid boy) You better send your family over to her place and marry your wife...

KIA,if l were to be part of that girl family,this man would have be messed up by now just like he called that family.ldiot man,is his own family a good family?.

creepsyme:
It seems you already have all your defense mechanisms put in place before coming online, i see you are more in war of words than seeking for advice or solution as you claimed. Sincerely , i initially did not just sympathize with you but i was also engulfed with empathy on how one should marry out of pity, what i deduced from your post is this, you knew from onset you you had a personal distrust for Anambra women, why did you at all start the relationship? You portray yourself as not being any young going by that you should be dating a more matured lady who is ready for marriage and not a 19year old teenager who could hardly know her right from left, You just wanted to take advantage of her innocence and vulnerability why? why?why?why.....You claim she does not meet your profile for a wife... Did you put into consideration her tender age and the level of her exposure and enlightenment? Education and enlightenment gives people better exposure to life. This little girl truely loved you hence her frequent coming back, this love would have moved mountains if given her the opportunity. Personally i see all the niceness you portray to extend to her presently as being a way of suppressing your guilt. My sincere opinion please marry this girl make her what you want in a wife and see yourself happy ever after.

Well expressed succinctly. Just what I have wrote earlier. If he refuses to marry this young lady. He MAY miss this golden opportunity of a life time. There are many men who have made similar mistakes and now live to regret it. Good women are not easy to come by now adays, even much worse abroad. A friend of mine will do anything to have a lady like this now...as he knew what he has experienced in the real world in the hand of women.

[quote author=bakeuhappy post=80033866]Oga Ibo tradition does not allow for any right to be done on a woman once it's known she's pregnant.

2: you knew she was young, naive and foolish.. I'm not saying you shouldn't do but I'm asking since you are older and more mature, you should have used a 'condom'. In the absence of using a condom why didn't you buy her the morning after pill ?

3. She's not polished o yeah!! Not enough excuse to dump her.. You can polish her to your standards..

4. Love grows and love wanes what makes a solid marriage in my opinion are: respect, trust and friendship.. When you grow to old and weak for sex.. It's the bond that's created through friendship that holds the relationship

5. I'm not saying you should marry her or not but my advice to you is to sleep over this issue and think it through very well.. It's not going to be an easy ride.. Especially when she gives birth and you saying her mum will help out isn't automatic because her mum has her own life to live.. Your mum might be in a better position to help out.

6. I understand a bit of you saying you don't want to marry from Anambra. I'm from IMO state and learnt about the Anambra/Imo bruhaha. But I don't judge people based on where they come from but on individual basis. I can tell you that my closest friends are from Anambra state and they have stood by me through thick and thin.


7. Whatever you have chosen to do. It's your decision and your choice to make but 'do the right thing '.


Are you really an Igbo or belonged to the, "mama say I be Igbo", are you from Anambra(Onitsha or it's environs to be precise)?. Why would you say something you are not knowledgeable enough or generalize an issue?.In fact,I know part of an Enugu that have such custom because my friend 8 years ago got an Enugu girl pregnant and there was an understanding that they can't marry and he was ask to come and do some marriage rites before the birth so that he can claim the child, which he did and I was present. Don't say what you don't know please.Maybe you're confusing yourself with the," ike nwanyi na-afo ime" custom, I.e the custom that forbids a pregnant woman from marrying while pregnant. This custom forbids a woman from marrying another man(a man other than the one that got her pregnant) but she can marry the one that got her pregnant.The reason is to forestall a given Mr A child to Mr B.If Igbo's don't marry while Pregnant, haven't you seen heavily pregnant Igbo ladies on a wedding dress doing both traditional and White weddings?.

Why did you impregnate her?
You know like her state of origin, her character and her family but her something sweet that you no fit leave anambra pussy for those wey like am sotee you enter without CD and no after caution So you were pussified and confused as a result.
Mr op, consider youself a married or Amadioha will take on you in yhe long run big time.

This matter never die e don do biko. op has made his decision!!!

[quote author=Obynolee post=80148258][/quote]my mama did not say I'm Ibo guess yours told you !!

Ask your elders in your village or a custodian of Ibo tradition.. Ibos have an adage which says you don't do anything(ime ego nwanyi) on a pregnant woman. You can only do iku aka(knocking on the door).every other thing comes after the woman has given birth.

But if you are in doubt you can ask your Dad about steps to take as regards the babies instead of coming to this forum. Good luck to you

The op said himself, had too much unprotected sex with the girl to the extent she'll be asking "if his sperm is working " . That shows:
(1) he deliberately wanted a child, before he traveled or..
(2) he's living in denial and is too naive to accept his actions
(3) he all of a sudden realized the girl is from Anambra and wants to use that as an excuse to dump her.

I read thru the OPs profile and saw the stories right from the post he made wen he first saw the girl, to when he said she's such a beauty, and that he loves her. Right to when he said she's a perfect wife material but he'll be traveling. Now what changed?. You or the girl?

You also made a post about another girl u met at ur plaza, and how she's playing hard to get. I hope uve finally gotten her. With ur supposed "level" and education, you go after plaza "sales" girls. The type too timid to say no. But you know what. I don't blame u one bit.

My advise is if u hv enough money, polish the girl and if the kids are urs, marrying her is up to you.

sirdouglas:
You can see how people with perfect lives are condemning me already. I doubt if some of them read all that I said.

The thing is this, I will be spending at least 5 years abroad. I am sure I am spending five years there because I decided it and I am not living illegally so I will only leave when I want to. She knows that too. I said at least because I don't know what tomorrow holds and I really don't want to be in Nigeria anytime soon and I just left. Barely three months now.

I can't keep her waiting and the two kids is going to make it really difficult. It would have been easier if it is one.

What I am asking is, I don't know anambra traditions very well but there are parts that won't let you go with the child if you didn't pay the bride price or iku aka I really don't know how the whole thing is done and whoever that marries the girl goes with the child. I really want her to get married and I am really sorry this is happening but I wouldn't want to lose my claim on my kids if finally they are mine to anyone or situation.

You want to eat your cake and still have it? Good luck with that, but don't forget that life exerts a price that must be paid to keep the balance

sirdouglas pls and please never ever marry out of pity, trust me you would regret it


I for one don't like a lady that isn't very smart as I'd get bored and tired easily


Take care of the kids and don't forget to do DNA test,

Anambra man ego has been bruised.. So, op is wrong... Life would have been lighter if you hadn't mentioned Anambra state... That's your major mistake

Genea:
oga 2 wrongs can't make a right. You are the elder one here and yet you are immature. You met this girl at 19yrs in 2017 and she would be 21years this year, she is not yet matured, you stole her innocence and you have to pay for it. Mister man better go and marry her and stop with all these excuses

Leave him let him be saying rubbish there

Op, you are just feeling fly because things has really changed a lot in Onitsha, if it was yesteryears, her brothers and extended family would have made life miserable for you in many ways possible with this path you are about to go down with their sister.

ScotMisile:
Anambra man ego has been bruised.. So, op is wrong... Life would have been lighter if you hadn't mentioned Anambra state... That's your major mistake

Not the major mistake but because he's just wicked, self centred and selfish!
An innocent teenager that he didn't only molested sexually but also put in a family way and then, wanted to abandon her to the cruelty of the world as well as ruin her future.
He just have to marry her and take care of the kids.

may320:
Not the major mistake but because he's just wicked, self centred and selfish!
An innocent teenager that he didn't only molested sexually but also put in a family way and then, wanted to abandon to the cruelty of the world as well as ruin her future.
He just have to marry her and take care of the kids.

You just exaggerated the whole story

ScotMisile:
You just exaggerated the whole story

My friend go and read from the beginning and stop being a lazy youth!