₦airaland Forum

ubunja:
How To Choose A Girl.


BUILDING ON SAND.
If you see a girl that you like and you make up your mind to approach her for a relationship because she's exactly what you want in a woman; you've already lost the game before the game even started.

Going up to her, telling her how beautiful she is and how you'd be honored if she accepted you. Its the epitome of weakness.

That's not how you get and keep a girl.

Already you're chasing. Already she's the Prize. Already she has more power than you and should you date, the power difference will only increase.

BUILDING ON A ROCK.
The only way you start at the top with women, having all the advantage, holding all the cards, from the word go, is to do things the opposite way. The way that appears wrong but is actually the right way: instead of searching for a woman who fits your ideal, You should be a man who fits the woman's ideal. You should be what a woman wants. it must be about fulfilling the woman's expectation not yours. Desire must flow from the girl to you. It must not flow from you to the girl. Attraction must start in the heart of the female, not in your heart.

That's the secret to happiness. That's how you build a relationship on a foundation of rock: You make sure the woman loves you more than you love her. You must be the guy she feels she "can't live without". But She must not be the girl you feel you "cant live without". Be her fantasy don't Iet her be your fantasy. Let her chase the fantasy, but keep your feet firmly in reality.

That female who's "everything you ever dreamed of in a woman", that chick who's the "girl of your dreams", that one must be dealt with only on a lust level. As a short term fantasy. A pump and dump. Dick her, don't Heart her. Ejaculate and evacuate. Don't invest any emotion in her. No matter how beautiful. No matter how delicious.

You can not afford to love the girl that you want. You dare not chase the fantasy. Loving the girl your heart chooses is a luxury you just can't afford. Not if you value your happiness and peace of mind. If your goal is romantic success, your woman must be more invested in the romance than you. She must be the biggest shareholder in the company. She must be the one in love with you, not the other way round.

POWER DYNAMICS.
For the one who loves less is actually the one with all the power, holding all the cards and having all the advantage. The one who loves more, the one more committed, holds less of everything.

If a house is burning, the one who bought the most property cries the most. And so they're the one most concerned about preventing fires. In other words, the party most invested, most loving and most committed in the romance is the party that begs the most, compromises the most and sacrifices the most to make sure the romance stays on course.

The one who invests less of everything holds all the power for the simple reason that they can walk away any time. Never be involved in something you can't walk away from without losing gallons of tears. Women have been loving the right way since forever. When was the last time you saw a girl cry tears over a boy? Between men and women who commits suicide more over breakups? Of course the men. Because they don't know how to love properly.

HOW GIRLS LOVE.
Guys need to learn to love the way girls love.

When a girl enters into a relationship with you she's happy when you're the one that loves her not the other way around. That way she has more power in the relationship. But if it happens that she's the one that falls harder and deeper for you, she'll do the next best thing to retain some measure of power: she'll HIDE THE INTENSITY of her love for you.

A girl will love you with all her heart and be crazy for you, BUT SHE'LL NEVER SHOW IT. The girl you love never shows you the full height, depth and breadth of her love. She never lets you know the maximum temperature of her passion.

You give her your photo, she goes home and goes crazy OVER THAT PHOTO. She sleeps with it next to her heart, kisses it, even shed tears of love over the image of you. She keeps it safe and spends hours on end just looking at it, lost in adoration.

But when you come in person to see her she puts the photo away and she wears her "game face". The face you see is not going to be the face your photo saw. Gone is the dreamy look of complete total love. Gone are the tears of love. She looks at you like one who never missed you one second. Like you were not even on her mind.

A girl shows you less of the love she has for you as a strategy: TO PROTECT HERSELF. If she was truthful and did show you how deep her love for you is YOU WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE. You'll use it against her. You'll demand crazy things from her. You'll cheat on her. And because her love for you runs deep, she will find it hard to leave and easy to forgive.

So to stop you from having that power over her, she hides the true extent of her love. And because you have no idea how crazy she is for you, you never fully exploit her.

That's why girls have DIARIES. They pour their heart, soul and mind on the pages of that little book. They confess their loves, hopes and fears on it's pages. Not to the BF. And when a girl loses her diary or when another person reads it, she freaks out. Because she feels exposed.

Many a girlfriend that plays it cool before her guy is mad crazy for him in his absence. Why do you think when guys screwup, girls always say, "If only you knew how much I loved you".? It's because the girl knows the love she's been expressing is not the complete love she's been feeling. She loved the guy more than he knew and because he's leaving he'll never really know he's lost a diamond.

Men need to learn that lesson: Be crazy and drunk in love all you want, worship the very ground your woman walks on if you wish, be batshit mad for her - but whatever you choose to do DO NOT DO IT IN FRONT OF HER. When you meet her, put your "game face" on. Your poker face. Conceal your desperation. Let her be forever guessing how deep your love for her runs. Do not worship her to her face. You give her too much power over you, power she'll unfailingly use against you.

LOVE AND HAPPINESS.
The key to love and happiness is to Learn to love the one who loves you. Never try to make someone who doesn't love you love you.

That's how you lose.

That's how you spend 12 months chasing a girl who has her own eye on another dude all the while your stupid self thinking she's playing hard to get. That's how you buy a girl shoes and phones that she'll proceed to use to impress the guy her own eye is on. That's how a girl, during sex, ends up whispering another dude's name to your ear, because it's him her mind is on. Why? Because you're forcing yourself into her heart. But her heart is already occupied by another guy.

Now here is the girl you must occupy yourself with:

That girl who's crazy for you for no reason and blushes everytime she sees you. That girl who always makes excuses to hang around you. That girl always offering to do stuff for you. That girl always eager to be part of whatever you're part of. LOVE THAT ONE. She's CHASING you. You're on her mind and in her heart as we speak. She likes you already.

The women you yourself like, just pump and dump them. They're as useless as chaff. And will be as troublesome as the weeds.

Keep the women you like for LUST, but the women who like you, keep them for LOVE. A girl who likes you is a precious stone that you take and polish and adorn yourself with. But a girl you like is a common stone, one of thousands you lust after day in day out:

You take a corner you see a girl you like. You open your window you see a girl you like pass by. You enter the bus, there, sitting in the front seat, is a girl you like. You go to town you see 20 girls you like. At your school there must be 50 of these girls. At work almost every department has a girl you like. The girl you like is EVERYWHERE and what's everywhere HAS NO VALUE.

But that girl out of hundreds, who looks at you the way you have been looking at hundreds of girls, that one chick who becomes as stupid and as dumb infront of you as you become infront of the girls that you like, that girl is THE ONE for you.

You can never go wrong learning to love that one. Don't trouble yourself with the girl you like. Why? Because already HER HEART IS SET ON ANOTHER MAN. look for the one who likes you, for her heart is set on you. Such a girl's heart you don't have to win, because already its yours.

Girls are choosy as hell. But a girl who has already chosen you is a Penalty Kick you've been given, without the goalkeeper, without even the goal posts. You can't miss even if your eyes were closed.

And NO, a girl who chooses you is not cheap. A girl who's cheap is the girl you fvck for the price of a loaf of bread. That is a cheap girl. You can fvck her for a penny, even for free. But guess what? So will the next guy. And the next. And the next. On the other hand, A girl who chooses you will be easy BUT ONLY FOR YOU. She'll be cheap BUT ONLY FOR YOU. She'll be willing BUT ONLY FOR YOU. You see the difference? It's all about YOU sir.


If a girl doesn't look at you twice, there's no reason to look at her twice. Attraction is zero. The spark failed. A female knows with one look if she'll sleep with you or not. If she doesn't double check you, if her eyes don't linger, if her gaze doesn't keep coming back to you; KEEP IT MOVING. Forget her.

BUT REAL MEN DO THE CHASING??
When females chase you does it make you less manly? Less Alpha?

It does not. Don't you get jealous when women throw their panties and bras at celebs during concerts? I know you do. Do you want a girl to throw you her panties to show you she wants you? Yes? But then you'll call her a Slut! That's why she'll settle for throwing you a smile.

OK! BUT ONLY LOW QUALITY GIRLS SEEM INTERESTED IN ME!!!
If the girls whose eyes linger and whose smiles you keep getting are not of the class you want, that's an honest indicator of where you are in the Sexual Market. That's your level. You attract your class.

To get better, better yourself. To see an improvement improve yourself. To see an upgrade in the quality of girls that give you "the look", upgrade yourself. The women you attract are the women at your level. Go up a level, and the quality of females you attract will also go up a level. Simple as that.

And how do you do that?

Dress better. Walk better. Speak better.

Do everything better than you've been doing.

To top it, go get a better body. Look, You can't change your face or your height but you can very well change your body. Which is all good, for when it comes to sex, your body IS your face. Women don't lust after a handsome face. It's that 6pack and those biceps that make the vagina tingle. Why do you think women love watching Wrestling on TV?

So, hit the gym.

LET HER CHOOSE.
Letting a girl choose is how you choose a girl.

That way girls chase You. You don't chase girls. That way You play hard to get. You don't have girls playing hard to get to you. Players are Players because every girl who chooses them they accept even though they've a girl already. And girls who date Players can't easily walk away from the fvckery of it all because they fell in love first. They're invested.

That's the blueprint of dealing with women. Play the game this way and you'll be surprised how far you can go with women WITHOUT spending money. Love is free. If you do it right.

When you let girls choose you become the Prize. The Chosen. And a girl who chooses you will make it EASY for you because she wants you to win. She'll test you Yes, because she needs to assess your masculinity, but she'll root for you. She'll be lenient and give you more opportunities than you deserve. And that's very important for your chances with her.

So how do you choose a girl? By letting a girl choose you. Ignore the ones who ignore you. Pay attention only to those who pay you attention. Remember every girl wants your attention, but not every girl will give you attention. So save your attention for the girls who are prepared to give you theirs.

Your attention is free but it means a lot to women. The compliments you give willy-nilly are oxygen to their self-esteem. Your drooling looks are the validation they can't breathe without. So make sure you don't give them out freely. Be stingy with.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
This writeup lays the groundwork for the longer and more indepth "Approaching Girls With Minimum Risk Of Rejection"

# TheRedPill
# MGTOW

CC:
emmy2807
SOFTDRINK
justiniyke29
RipMorosini
reservd
Aiziko
Avedonn
kkins25
BossDante
Imoh555

bikerboy1:
Nice write up. It was worth every read

Digital101:
You need to write about Validation. I am curiously waiting for the write up. I am one of your fan.

ubunja:
How To Choose A Girl.


BUILDING ON SAND.
If you see a girl that you like and you make up your mind to approach her for a relationship because she's exactly what you want in a woman; you've already lost the game before the game even started.

Going up to her, telling her how beautiful she is and how you'd be honored if she accepted you. Its the epitome of weakness.

That's not how you get and keep a girl.

Already you're chasing. Already she's the Prize. Already she has more power than you and should you date, the power difference will only increase.

BUILDING ON A ROCK.
The only way you start at the top with women, having all the advantage, holding all the cards, from the word go, is to do things the opposite way. The way that appears wrong but is actually the right way: instead of searching for a woman who fits your ideal, You should be a man who fits the woman's ideal. You should be what a woman wants. it must be about fulfilling the woman's expectation not yours. Desire must flow from the girl to you. It must not flow from you to the girl. Attraction must start in the heart of the female, not in your heart.

That's the secret to happiness. That's how you build a relationship on a foundation of rock: You make sure the woman loves you more than you love her. You must be the guy she feels she "can't live without". But She must not be the girl you feel you "cant live without". Be her fantasy don't Iet her be your fantasy. Let her chase the fantasy, but keep your feet firmly in reality.

That female who's "everything you ever dreamed of in a woman", that chick who's the "girl of your dreams", that one must be dealt with only on a lust level. As a short term fantasy. A pump and dump. Dick her, don't Heart her. Ejaculate and evacuate. Don't invest any emotion in her. No matter how beautiful. No matter how delicious.

You can not afford to love the girl that you want. You dare not chase the fantasy. Loving the girl your heart chooses is a luxury you just can't afford. Not if you value your happiness and peace of mind. If your goal is romantic success, your woman must be more invested in the romance than you. She must be the biggest shareholder in the company. She must be the one in love with you, not the other way round.

POWER DYNAMICS.
For the one who loves less is actually the one with all the power, holding all the cards and having all the advantage. The one who loves more, the one more committed, holds less of everything.

If a house is burning, the one who bought the most property cries the most. And so they're the one most concerned about preventing fires. In other words, the party most invested, most loving and most committed in the romance is the party that begs the most, compromises the most and sacrifices the most to make sure the romance stays on course.

The one who invests less of everything holds all the power for the simple reason that they can walk away any time. Never be involved in something you can't walk away from without losing gallons of tears. Women have been loving the right way since forever. When was the last time you saw a girl cry tears over a boy? Between men and women who commits suicide more over breakups? Of course the men. Because they don't know how to love properly.

HOW GIRLS LOVE.
Guys need to learn to love the way girls love.

When a girl enters into a relationship with you she's happy when you're the one that loves her not the other way around. That way she has more power in the relationship. But if it happens that she's the one that falls harder and deeper for you, she'll do the next best thing to retain some measure of power: she'll HIDE THE INTENSITY of her love for you.

A girl will love you with all her heart and be crazy for you, BUT SHE'LL NEVER SHOW IT. The girl you love never shows you the full height, depth and breadth of her love. She never lets you know the maximum temperature of her passion.

You give her your photo, she goes home and goes crazy OVER THAT PHOTO. She sleeps with it next to her heart, kisses it, even shed tears of love over the image of you. She keeps it safe and spends hours on end just looking at it, lost in adoration.

But when you come in person to see her she puts the photo away and she wears her "game face". The face you see is not going to be the face your photo saw. Gone is the dreamy look of complete total love. Gone are the tears of love. She looks at you like one who never missed you one second. Like you were not even on her mind.

A girl shows you less of the love she has for you as a strategy: TO PROTECT HERSELF. If she was truthful and did show you how deep her love for you is YOU WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE. You'll use it against her. You'll demand crazy things from her. You'll cheat on her. And because her love for you runs deep, she will find it hard to leave and easy to forgive.

So to stop you from having that power over her, she hides the true extent of her love. And because you have no idea how crazy she is for you, you never fully exploit her.

That's why girls have DIARIES. They pour their heart, soul and mind on the pages of that little book. They confess their loves, hopes and fears on it's pages. Not to the BF. And when a girl loses her diary or when another person reads it, she freaks out. Because she feels exposed.

Many a girlfriend that plays it cool before her guy is mad crazy for him in his absence. Why do you think when guys screwup, girls always say, "If only you knew how much I loved you".? It's because the girl knows the love she's been expressing is not the complete love she's been feeling. She loved the guy more than he knew and because he's leaving he'll never really know he's lost a diamond.

Men need to learn that lesson: Be crazy and drunk in love all you want, worship the very ground your woman walks on if you wish, be batshit mad for her - but whatever you choose to do DO NOT DO IT IN FRONT OF HER. When you meet her, put your "game face" on. Your poker face. Conceal your desperation. Let her be forever guessing how deep your love for her runs. Do not worship her to her face. You give her too much power over you, power she'll unfailingly use against you.

LOVE AND HAPPINESS.
The key to love and happiness is to Learn to love the one who loves you. Never try to make someone who doesn't love you love you.

That's how you lose.

That's how you spend 12 months chasing a girl who has her own eye on another dude all the while your stupid self thinking she's playing hard to get. That's how you buy a girl shoes and phones that she'll proceed to use to impress the guy her own eye is on. That's how a girl, during sex, ends up whispering another dude's name to your ear, because it's him her mind is on. Why? Because you're forcing yourself into her heart. But her heart is already occupied by another guy.

Now here is the girl you must occupy yourself with:

That girl who's crazy for you for no reason and blushes everytime she sees you. That girl who always makes excuses to hang around you. That girl always offering to do stuff for you. That girl always eager to be part of whatever you're part of. LOVE THAT ONE. She's CHASING you. You're on her mind and in her heart as we speak. She likes you already.

The women you yourself like, just pump and dump them. They're as useless as chaff. And will be as troublesome as the weeds.

Keep the women you like for LUST, but the women who like you, keep them for LOVE. A girl who likes you is a precious stone that you take and polish and adorn yourself with. But a girl you like is a common stone, one of thousands you lust after day in day out:

You take a corner you see a girl you like. You open your window you see a girl you like pass by. You enter the bus, there, sitting in the front seat, is a girl you like. You go to town you see 20 girls you like. At your school there must be 50 of these girls. At work almost every department has a girl you like. The girl you like is EVERYWHERE and what's everywhere HAS NO VALUE.

But that girl out of hundreds, who looks at you the way you have been looking at hundreds of girls, that one chick who becomes as stupid and as dumb infront of you as you become infront of the girls that you like, that girl is THE ONE for you.

You can never go wrong learning to love that one. Don't trouble yourself with the girl you like. Why? Because already HER HEART IS SET ON ANOTHER MAN. look for the one who likes you, for her heart is set on you. Such a girl's heart you don't have to win, because already its yours.

Girls are choosy as hell. But a girl who has already chosen you is a Penalty Kick you've been given, without the goalkeeper, without even the goal posts. You can't miss even if your eyes were closed.

And NO, a girl who chooses you is not cheap. A girl who's cheap is the girl you fvck for the price of a loaf of bread. That is a cheap girl. You can fvck her for a penny, even for free. But guess what? So will the next guy. And the next. And the next. On the other hand, A girl who chooses you will be easy BUT ONLY FOR YOU. She'll be cheap BUT ONLY FOR YOU. She'll be willing BUT ONLY FOR YOU. You see the difference? It's all about YOU sir.


If a girl doesn't look at you twice, there's no reason to look at her twice. Attraction is zero. The spark failed. A female knows with one look if she'll sleep with you or not. If she doesn't double check you, if her eyes don't linger, if her gaze doesn't keep coming back to you; KEEP IT MOVING. Forget her.

BUT REAL MEN DO THE CHASING??
When females chase you does it make you less manly? Less Alpha?

It does not. Don't you get jealous when women throw their panties and bras at celebs during concerts? I know you do. Do you want a girl to throw you her panties to show you she wants you? Yes? But then you'll call her a Slut! That's why she'll settle for throwing you a smile.

OK! BUT ONLY LOW QUALITY GIRLS SEEM INTERESTED IN ME!!!
If the girls whose eyes linger and whose smiles you keep getting are not of the class you want, that's an honest indicator of where you are in the Sexual Market. That's your level. You attract your class.

To get better, better yourself. To see an improvement improve yourself. To see an upgrade in the quality of girls that give you "the look", upgrade yourself. The women you attract are the women at your level. Go up a level, and the quality of females you attract will also go up a level. Simple as that.

And how do you do that?

Dress better. Walk better. Speak better.

Do everything better than you've been doing.

To top it, go get a better body. Look, You can't change your face or your height but you can very well change your body. Which is all good, for when it comes to sex, your body IS your face. Women don't lust after a handsome face. It's that 6pack and those biceps that make the vagina tingle. Why do you think women love watching Wrestling on TV?

So, hit the gym.

LET HER CHOOSE.
Letting a girl choose is how you choose a girl.

That way girls chase You. You don't chase girls. That way You play hard to get. You don't have girls playing hard to get to you. Players are Players because every girl who chooses them they accept even though they've a girl already. And girls who date Players can't easily walk away from the fvckery of it all because they fell in love first. They're invested.

That's the blueprint of dealing with women. Play the game this way and you'll be surprised how far you can go with women WITHOUT spending money. Love is free. If you do it right.

When you let girls choose you become the Prize. The Chosen. And a girl who chooses you will make it EASY for you because she wants you to win. She'll test you Yes, because she needs to assess your masculinity, but she'll root for you. She'll be lenient and give you more opportunities than you deserve. And that's very important for your chances with her.

So how do you choose a girl? By letting a girl choose you. Ignore the ones who ignore you. Pay attention only to those who pay you attention. Remember every girl wants your attention, but not every girl will give you attention. So save your attention for the girls who are prepared to give you theirs.

Your attention is free but it means a lot to women. The compliments you give willy-nilly are oxygen to their self-esteem. Your drooling looks are the validation they can't breathe without. So make sure you don't give them out freely. Be stingy with.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
This writeup lays the groundwork for the longer and more indepth "Approaching Girls With Minimum Risk Of Rejection"

# TheRedPill
# MGTOW

CC:
emmy2807
SOFTDRINK
justiniyke29
RipMorosini
reservd
Aiziko
Avedonn
kkins25
BossDante
Imoh555

KiingShay:
"Keep the women you like for LUST, but the ones who like you, keep them for LOVE" LEGENDARY!!

ubunja:
Biker it means a lot that you rate it as worthy.

Are you one of them bad-boys on motorbikes? As your moniker suggests?

bikerboy1:
Lol... Not at all. I just a bicycle lover.

You're such a great writer. Keep it up

GLYCOLYSISS:
Mehn,these nigga is fuvking disgusting

neyobills:
I don't visit the romance section often however whenever I visit I have always thought the ubunja was actually uniabuja,infact I thought your threads were actually sexcapades of some bimbo from Uniabuja, I mistakenly clicked one of your threads about a a day, ago and I have, been wowed by your write ups, they are apt and on point,there are personal experiences that have had in life that relate with your topics 100%,however it doesn't mean I agree with every of your ideas but a whole lot of them is on point.

However what endears me to your threads most is your writing skills Pls keep it up plus the way your remain civil in your replies to uncouth behemoths that disagree with you,pls keep it up, more ink to your pen.

All in all I'm relieved there are still a few guys around who know their onions in a sea of weaklings of the masculine gender.

ubunja:
how can we stop writing with replies like this?

this is nice. thanks

BiafranDel:
mr ubunja. Greetings. I am the kind of guy who doesn't have woman problems not because I am Cristiano Ronaldo but I just hardly fall in love with women, I have never liked any girl to the point where it turns to love, it can never happen. And I thank God for forging my heart like that because loving a girl comes with abundant mumu. I just see women as sex object, that is just the plain truth even my guys sef dey surprise how I take dey run am. Maybe it's beacuse of the kind of environment I grew up in. There is something personal for me about your write up and I do love to hear more of your opinion on it. Please if you do not mind, how do I get to contact you with a Nigerian number. I do be more satisfied to talk it out on call not text. Thanks. I just saw this write up and I had to stop everything I was doing to read it line by line, word for word, letter to letter. We share a lot of similar orientation about women. More grease to your elbow.

Dangerousboy:
this is one of your very best article sir, thank you very much. keep up with the good work.

Limitededition10:
bro I was blocked by antispam bot while trying to mail you on my other acct. The silly thing said I was spamming. I had to create this for the same purpose. Sent you a mail. It's biafrandel

ubunja:
thanks man. Your moniker is curious tho.

Dangerousboy:
hahahahahahaha. it strike's terror.

ubunja:
very.
is this how you picked your mate?

horlarwereleh:
OH MY GOD BRO!!!!
You are soooo lit!!!
I hope you believe this; Nowadays i only comes on Nairaland to read your posts!!!
I wish i can know all what you know about the female gender!!!
You are a source of inspiration, keep it up bro!!!
More grease to your elbow!!!
.
.
Kindly mention me in any of your new post!!!

Limitededition10:
exactly bro you are on point but how can you correct this mistake after it happens. Cc ubunja this is what i need your view about

AussiePlayboy:
I have a girl right now who messed up very bad with me, I got myself together and moved on.. However she came.. begged and is now "back" . I ve taken her back, but what she did was so bad, she just has to face the consequences. She thinks we going to marry and live happily ever after, cos my love is "True". Maybe I look like 2nd Jesus so will forgive easily with flowers and roses. It's a pity she came back.
Well, I ll reform her for the next guy.

I think I should also open a thread on "breaking point of men" This is a point where a man who once loved you, now doesn't care, except for revenge.

BossDante:
This sound interesting. When you do, would you be kind enough to mention me ;

luminouz:
Do tag me when it drops OK?

AussiePlayboy:
I have a girl right now who messed up very bad with me, I got myself together and moved on.. However she came.. begged and is now "back" . I ve taken her back, but what she did was so bad, she just has to face the consequences. She thinks we going to marry and live happily ever after, cos my love is "True". Maybe I look like 2nd Jesus so will forgive easily with flowers and roses. It's a pity she came back.
Well, I ll reform her for the next guy.

I think I should also open a thread on "breaking point of men" This is a point where a man who once loved you, now doesn't care, except for revenge.

ubunja:
Nice message on a Nice Sunday. Thanks Mr H.
And I'll tag you from here on out.

AussiePlayboy:
Nothing more infuriating than a girl trying to make you work hard for a pucsy you once had on your palms.
.
This is why we always tell men Never to apologise to a woman. No matter the situation. Do not show weakness. Cos you are sending yourself down to the "back to the starting point" away from the p. The attraction instantly drops.

Whenever you want to "makeup" or "return" to a girl, more often than not you will be too emotional and show signs of being poosywhooped, which is already a weak position.
.
Firstly, You need to be calm! Being emotional is feminine and that's what chased you away from her pucsy in the first place.
2ndly, You have to let her feel she is missing something. Maybe your life in a way has to change.. Etc. You have to put a value on her dating you. You must first let her know or feel that you have options even when you comeback even if you ve had no ass since she left. Can't stress this enough. She can't just walk back in 100% easily, else she will misuse it.

All these boil down to your Nonsexual attention. It is your currency. Which is your time, energy, resources. When you upgrade your life(career/social group/finances/appearance), you basically increase the value of your non sexual attention. You have to learn to use it. It has a value in the eyes of women. You are simply trading your nonsexual attention with sex from her. Women know how to use sex to get what they want. You must know how to use yours to get something from them.

For me. I hate this phase, because it really fcks with your mind. Typically, if you can pullout all of these and break her defenses, you will begin to resent her for making you go through all of these and feel like you deserve better.

These are all that go behind the scenes when you hear. I loved him, but he changed and treats me like sht.