XhosaNostra:


I'm with someone.

nisai:
CHAI! CHAI! CHAI!

XhosaNostra:


...

nisai:
OK thanks and goodbye. May God bless you.

XhosaNostra:
I believe every individual has their own set of rules, land mines & deal breakers in a relationship. Some more specific than others.

I don't know about how other people go about it, but I always state mine very early on, so it is understood from the get go what my values are.
Like you said, things like loyalty don't change depending on which direction the wind blows. My core values also remain the same no matter who I choose to be with & I cannot compromise on them.

Relationships are a learning curve, so even though I've been in quite a few, I still don't know what the qualities of a 'good man' are supposed be lol. I only know what gels with me. A man is as 'good' as his beliefs vs. my own, I'd say. If we have a lot in common, we're 'good'.

Now a subject I'm very certain about is who is not right for me. This one is not as complicated as trying to figure out who's good. It's clear cut & simple. It all goes back to my FIXED & 'NOT ABOUT TO CHANGE ANYTIME SOON' core beliefs. I value things like communication, consistency, honesty & of course, loyalty. Try me on ANY of these things & the end is nigh. I think I'm pretty uncomplicated that way

DaySpringer:


1. If a man consistently displays the values that you have mentioned above, does it not mean that he is a good man? Does it not mean that he is serious with you?

2. From your wealth of experience, can you say that you do not know the signs of a man that is not ready to be serious with you?

3. If a man comes and starts pretending to have all the core values that you have mentioned about, how can you tell that it is all a pretence. Do you have hints and tips on actually being able to uncover the deceit?

nisai:
Yea I get you wella. I was not saying one should lose his fundamental tendencies (that's impossible anyway) in other to fit into a woman's appreciation. To make it 'till death do us apart' one has to bend principles, make sacrifices etc. With time, they both blend in.

Abi bawo ni ( or how you you see it)?

XhosaNostra:

myke92:


Followed you two love play from page 1.. What a way to end it..

HRHQueenPhil:
for someone like me fully led by the HOLY SPIRIT, i can assure that
1. that man will call u everyday even its just 2 hear ur voice
2. he will introduce u 2 his family, friends and refer u 2 pple as wife2be
3. he always want to hold ur hand in public and stay near u so even the blind will know ua re a couple
4. he begins 2 ask or seek ur opinions and see ur reactions to issues relating to marriage
5. he will try 2 have sex with u, but if he sees u are a good geh, he wont force. the disciplined ones wont ask at all

DaySpringer:


I feel that many guys that are pretending can always fake all of these things you have mentioned above.
Yoruba girls are especially known to be good at number 2.

Is there anything you can add that will help a lady to determine he is for real that is so uncommon that she must definitely believe it?
or conversely what can a lady spot that is a bad sign that his man is not for her, especially when he has otherwise been good so far.

XhosaNostra:


With Nisai? Well, he unceremoniously dumped me so I got to move on

nisai:
As you are forming your 'hard to catch' now, so I start forming my 'bad at chasing', you now wanna radio the UN. Haba!

BabbanBura:


Oga cant u see that U've being miss-yarning. Sorry but you dont fit the kind of man she desires. Kpele

XhosaNostra:


No, I like the role of the jilted lover much better. It makes me feel like a delicate flower

*Shakespearean sob*

nisai:
Thank you Xhosanostra do you know him? I may summon the thunder!

XhosaNostra:


Hahaha.

He's your new replacement since you publicly disowned me

XhosaNostra:

XhosaNostra:

nisai:
Now tell me you love me so I can be at ease. Stop being stingy to distributing love now

XhosaNostra:
I believe every individual has their own set of rules, land mines & deal breakers in a relationship. Some more specific than others.

I don't know about how other people go about it, but I always state mine very early on, so it is understood from the get go what my values are.
Like you said, things like loyalty don't change depending on which direction the wind blows. My core values also remain the same no matter who I choose to be with & I cannot compromise on them.

Relationships are a learning curve, so even though I've been in quite a few, I still don't know what the qualities of a 'good man' are supposed be lol. I only know what gels with me. A man is as 'good' as his beliefs vs. my own, I'd say. If we have a lot in common, we're 'good'.

Now a subject I'm very certain about is who is not right for me. This one is not as complicated as trying to figure out who's good. It's clear cut & simple. It all goes back to my FIXED & 'NOT ABOUT TO CHANGE ANYTIME SOON' core beliefs. I value things like communication, consistency, honesty & of course, loyalty. Try me on ANY of these things & the end is nigh. I think I'm pretty uncomplicated that way

Login12:
I'll just want to say I'm impressed

XhosaNostra:


Thanks

Login12:


Your welcome of the truth I can't remember the last time I read a well thought out comment like this on this forum

XhosaNostra:


Really? I don't think that's true lol.

Login12:


Lol why would I want to play with my words when I don't mean what I say?

My words my bond

XhosaNostra:


That's good to know, but you're wrong

Login12:



Hahaha on what exactly?

I'm open to learn

XhosaNostra:


On your observation, but let's not spoil the fun with technicalities now, I'll take it