₦airaland Forum

@ Op, it's a crazy thing in a crazy world! To her, you are no longer her type of man, she's so happy she's getting acknowledged by someone she considers an idol. But don't worry, as time progresses, i can assure she'd loses sight of those she calls her true friends who are advising her to leave you until she's no longer herself. |In the end, it's likely gonna be a win win for you. What is happening to you now is nothing and it shall pass in no long time from now.

pansophist:
My young bro, take heart. The sad truth is, she has found someone better, and you should accept it even if you do not feature in the picture. It's about emotional maturity and letting this just be.

Your next step is to give yourself time, as time has a way of healing things. You'll pass through it, and you'll like yourself better after this. I experienced something you passed through when I was 18, and felt even worse than you, but I was naive, innocent, and didnt understood the timeless truth of female nature, keeping attraction, and stimulating the relationship sustainably. Looking back those times, I could see clearly the mistake I made, and I've refined myself to a point that such could not happen again. And in the unlikely scenario that it does, well, a replacement is around the corner. You should do the same.

It seems to me that your relationship with her is your job, you specialized in loving her and treating her as the best thing, while ignoring your own personal growth. Listen attentively, women DO NOT want to be your goal. They want to be part/beneficiary of it, not the goal. You treated her nice and gave her everything to the best of your ability and probably didn't focus on your growth, and compete with other men in the free world.

You were too available, making you appear as someone with female scarcity, with no option and not a real catch. Also, pursuing her even after her formal declaration for relationship withdrawal is something that men with no options do. You cannot beg a woman into a relationship with you, it's an instant attraction killer. You attract and keep her with the lifestyle you've built for yourself, and the man you've developed yourself to be.

Remember the biblical story of when God told Adam (after eating the forbidden fruit from Eve), that henceforth he would toil the ground for food and survival, and cursed Eve that she will suffer doing child birth? The true meaning of this story is that as a man, you have to be out there hustling, pursuing your goal and fulfilling your dreams, as no woman want to be for a man that is not out there toiling the ground.

She dont want to cry during child birth for man with no purpose, and be amother to his kids. Whether you believe in this story or not, you may comb any other religion, culture, science, and just observe the world around you, you would see that your value as a man is by being resourceful. You're almost depressed (that's if you're not), because you are not pursuing things in the real world that would make her wonder why you do not call her always, that even if she breaks up with you, you're too busy achieving and breaking through to even feel an inch of her jilting you.

That even if she breaks up with you, in the back of mind, she knows there are younger and far beautiful women out there waiting to take her place, and will question herself if she can get a man in the same calibre as you. Do you think Davido will be worried if Chioma decides to leave him? Davido will laugh at her because he knows that she will be dead lucky to meet a man in his status, and she knows this as well. In every relationship, many young boys are clouded with feelings and love without understanding the power dynamics that is ever present and playing in the background.

I hope you get well, but remember this, you will never loose women chasing money (interpret it as goals, achievements, purpose etc), but you'll always loose money chasing women. Goodluck young man.

Brother! My heart bless you for this sound, concise, precise and intelligent counsel!

May your barn of wisdom never empty!

Shadbay:
Deep. I appreciate your contribution. Thank you very much sir

e be like say your mumu never do abi?

pple are praying and working hard to survive this Buhari regime

u are here talking abt love and emotions..

give all your emotions to God your creator

pansophist:
My young bro, take heart. The sad truth is, she has found someone better, and you should accept it even if you do not feature in the picture. It's about emotional maturity and letting this just be.

Your next step is to give yourself time, as time has a way of healing things. You'll pass through it, and you'll like yourself better after this. I experienced something you passed through when I was 18, and felt even worse than you, but I was naive, innocent, and didnt understood the timeless truth of female nature, keeping attraction, and stimulating the relationship sustainably. Looking back those times, I could see clearly the mistake I made, and I've refined myself to a point that such could not happen again. And in the unlikely scenario that it does, well, a replacement is around the corner. You should do the same.

It seems to me that your relationship with her is your job, you specialized in loving her and treating her as the best thing, while ignoring your own personal growth. Listen attentively, women DO NOT want to be your goal. They want to be part/beneficiary of it, not the goal. You treated her nice and gave her everything to the best of your ability and probably didn't focus on your growth, and compete with other men in the free world.

You were too available, making you appear as someone with female scarcity, with no option and not a real catch. Also, pursuing her even after her formal declaration for relationship withdrawal is something that men with no options do. You cannot beg a woman into a relationship with you, it's an instant attraction killer. You attract and keep her with the lifestyle you've built for yourself, and the man you've developed yourself to be.

Remember the biblical story of when God told Adam (after eating the forbidden fruit from Eve), that henceforth he would toil the ground for food and survival, and cursed Eve that she will suffer doing child birth? The true meaning of this story is that as a man, you have to be out there hustling, pursuing your goal and fulfilling your dreams, as no woman want to be for a man that is not out there toiling the ground.

She dont want to cry during child birth for man with no purpose, and be amother to his kids. Whether you believe in this story or not, you may comb any other religion, culture, science, and just observe the world around you, you would see that your value as a man is by being resourceful. You're almost depressed (that's if you're not), because you are not pursuing things in the real world that would make her wonder why you do not call her always, that even if she breaks up with you, you're too busy achieving and breaking through to even feel an inch of her jilting you.

That even if she breaks up with you, in the back of mind, she knows there are younger and far beautiful women out there waiting to take her place, and will question herself if she can get a man in the same calibre as you. Do you think Davido will be worried if Chioma decides to leave him? Davido will laugh at her because he knows that she will be dead lucky to meet a man in his status, and she knows this as well. In every relationship, many young boys are clouded with feelings and love without understanding the power dynamics that is ever present and playing in the background.

I hope you get well, but remember this, you will never loose women chasing money (interpret it as goals, achievements, purpose etc), but you'll always loose money chasing women. Goodluck young man.

Wow.... So superbly written words....

Shadbay:
I went the faithful, loyal path what did I get in return? Venom! I feel repulsed when I hear women say "Men are dogs", "Men always cheat".

I just don't want this experience to turn me into something I'm not or make me an embittered soul. I'm traumatized beyond words. This was my first and only relationship and I gave it everything. I'm in my mid-twenties and I don't think I can ever love genuinely again. I need mature advice on how to come out of this ordeal a better person. I don't want to transfer any aggressions or micro-aggressions on anybody because of this experience. Please mature advice needed. Thank you.

I don't always comment on posts like this but I just needed to, for some reasons.

While reading your post, I feel like I'm reading my own story. Our profile matches so well that I was almost crying for you when I remembered the pain I felt while in your shoes. Brother, life is always unfair! And we live in this age where people don't care about others heart.The worst pain a man could feel is emotional pain, it even brings down the strongest man (physically) but you just need to learn to move on. What I can ASSURE you is You'll get over it and YOU'LL LATER REMEMBER AND LAUGH OVER IT. Just keep your HEADS UP Bro and Be a Better Version of Yourself (Emotionally, Physically, Financially, and every other lly you know).

Shadbay:
I've been in extreme emotional pains for the past few months. I don't even know where to start to narrate my ordeal. I do not want this experience to damage me emotionally and psychologically, that's why I'm seeking help. Please pardon the length and blunders.

Earlier this year, just two weeks after my birthday, my ex-gf (gf of almost 7 years) broke up with me. I had just visited her and left two days prior to the breakup.
I went through the most challenging period of my life because I just suffered some job and graduate school rejections that period. The breakup worsened my situation and pushed me into a depression. I have never felt defeated in life till that point. She blocked me on all mediums of communication. It was too extreme. I went from 91kg to 85 kg in less than 3 weeks.

I visited her to understand the whole situation cos her behaviour was too extreme and I got a toxic dosage of embarrassments. She said she was done with me. She said a lot of hurtful things to me. The height of the embarrassments was calling her new boyfriend (barely 3 weeks after breaking up with me) right in front of me and telling him she doesn't know what I'm doing in her place. She even called some of her friends to inform them of my presence. They all sounded scared and concerned for her as if I was some kind of predator. They told her to leave her place at once and come to their place. All these calls were on speaker! This is someone I invested all these years and emotions for. I went through hell that period cos I was dealing with some other personal tribulations.

I can't imagine treating her or anybody else the way she treated me. I NEVER cheated on her, NOT ONCE or by chance! I have walked away from compromising situation countless times because I placed her so high. I had so much respect for her. She now went on to slander my name, accusing me of cheating!!! When I asked who was feeding her all those lies, she said her friends told her. How? Did I date you or your friends? It still boggles my mind to think she'll believe them and go about spreading those ugly rumours about me.

The straw that broke the camels back was when a friend of mine told me that she said she's grateful to God she didn't contract any infection/disease from me! I couldn't believe my ears. I broke down. This didn't just break my heart, it shattered my spirit. This is someone I imagined spending the rest of my life with. My whole family (even extended) accepted her as one of us.

I had to accept that things were beyond salvaging because any attempt from me to fix things kept doing the opposite. The minute it involved my sisters I had to accept defeat.

I never harmed her or attempt to lay a finger on her. I might not be perfect but I gave it my all. The situation is far worse than I described it here, it's even painful remembering them. I loved her to a fault.

I got a text from her about a month ago after I refused to answer her calls because I had just lost a loved one. She said she's getting married and hopes I find peace as she has found hers. I stared at those words speechless. The worst set of people one could ever encounter are those that hurt you, know that they hurt you and still turn around to play victim accusing you of hurting them. If there's anything I'm proud of is my level of self-control. I know few of my friends who made fun of me being extremely loyal to one girl, warning me severally that I'm wasting my time and good looks, that my youth is passing me by. At least I have a clean conscience that I never betrayed her trust. I never went about telling other people our business. Now I understand why they say good guys always finish last.


Women don't deserve loyalty, forget all their cliche that men are not faithful and honest. I went the faithful, loyal path what did I get in return? Venom! I feel repulsed when I hear women say "Men are dogs", "Men always cheat".

I just don't want this experience to turn me into something I'm not or make me an embittered soul. I'm traumatized beyond words. This was my first and only relationship and I gave it everything. I'm in my mid-twenties and I don't think I can ever love genuinely again. I need mature advice on how to come out of this ordeal a better person. I don't want to transfer any aggressions or micro-aggressions on anybody because of this experience. Please mature advice needed. Thank you.

If you believe your spouse will make you happy you are falling for a big SCAM.
Learn from that experience and build your happiness . It doesn't depend on anyone else but you.

If you are still angry and depressed by her actions it is your choice. What ever you turn too good or bad using your past experience as the excuse is your choice.

Stay with your choice. Choose the path that defines you and be happy all the way not minding what people say.

eeewise:
Been there bro
Mine was she broke up with me
We reconnected strong after some months and promised with tears she is now stable and we are meant to be

Being that I so much value stability I settled for her and invested emotionaly

Practically put my life on the line for this girl

Guess what after she traveled she changed and told me she fell out of love with me even thou I fought so hard to stay thru to my commitments despite the distance

God knows I tried to move on fast but it wasn't easy

Even till now a part of me still wonders how someone can go from "I love you and u are my number 1,my everything, my rainbow" to "I think we rushed and I didn't have time to fall in love with u and have fallen out of love with u"

Even thou I have moved on and keep moving on
My advice to u is please give it time u will be fine
Block every contact with her or access to her to enable u heal

Don't try hurting her, just try move on and leave things to karma

Most girls btw 19 and even 25 are walking time bombs without a sense of stability so u dont go investing emotionally, physically, financially without your head

Invest only in ur wife, help girlfriends without a string attached...

Give it time and turn your pains to prayers � for every pain talk to God he will comfort u

Lastly use your experiences as a guide for up coming ones. See ur experience as a badge u wear to guide others

Stay around people and others. U can't talk and think at the same time, so to avoid thinking talk to people

Men and the victim card.

Y'all think we don't have our experiences with some of you? If all girls between the ages of 18-25 are working time bomb, what are the guys?

This statement "Move on, you'll meet someone better" doesn't always hold true. At times, you end up with a worse partner.

His gf was immature in handling a rumor. Apart from how she went about it, it was all a misunderstanding they could've settled if there was effective communication. stop making women look like the demon. Some of you aren't worth the stress called 'relationship'.

jcmaiah:
It's now that you are in your mid twenties that you should be thinking of dating or marriage. The girl has outgrown u believe me. She is someone probably within your age, you are not ready for her age at this time. Be grateful and move on. You lost nothing

... You ve said it all.

pansophist:
My young bro, take heart. The sad truth is, she has found someone better, and you should accept it even if you do not feature in the picture. It's about emotional maturity and letting this just be.

Your next step is to give yourself time, as time has a way of healing things. You'll pass through it, and you'll like yourself better after this. I experienced something you passed through when I was 18, and felt even worse than you, but I was naive, innocent, and didnt understood the timeless truth of female nature, keeping attraction, and stimulating the relationship sustainably. Looking back those times, I could see clearly the mistake I made, and I've refined myself to a point that such could not happen again. And in the unlikely scenario that it does, well, a replacement is around the corner. You should do the same.

It seems to me that your relationship with her is your job, you specialized in loving her and treating her as the best thing, while ignoring your own personal growth. Listen attentively, women DO NOT want to be your goal. They want to be part/beneficiary of it, not the goal. You treated her nice and gave her everything to the best of your ability and probably didn't focus on your growth, and compete with other men in the free world.

You were too available, making you appear as someone with female scarcity, with no option and not a real catch. Also, pursuing her even after her formal declaration for relationship withdrawal is something that men with no options do. You cannot beg a woman into a relationship with you, it's an instant attraction killer. You attract and keep her with the lifestyle you've built for yourself, and the man you've developed yourself to be.

Remember the biblical story of when God told Adam (after eating the forbidden fruit from Eve), that henceforth he would toil the ground for food and survival, and cursed Eve that she will suffer doing child birth? The true meaning of this story is that as a man, you have to be out there hustling, pursuing your goal and fulfilling your dreams, as no woman want to be for a man that is not out there toiling the ground.

She dont want to cry during child birth for man with no purpose, and be amother to his kids. Whether you believe in this story or not, you may comb any other religion, culture, science, and just observe the world around you, you would see that your value as a man is by being resourceful. You're almost depressed (that's if you're not), because you are not pursuing things in the real world that would make her wonder why you do not call her always, that even if she breaks up with you, you're too busy achieving and breaking through to even feel an inch of her jilting you.

That even if she breaks up with you, in the back of mind, she knows there are younger and far beautiful women out there waiting to take her place, and will question herself if she can get a man in the same calibre as you. Do you think Davido will be worried if Chioma decides to leave him? Davido will laugh at her because he knows that she will be dead lucky to meet a man in his status, and she knows this as well. In every relationship, many young boys are clouded with feelings and love without understanding the power dynamics that is ever present and playing in the background.

I hope you get well, but remember this, you will never loose women chasing money (interpret it as goals, achievements, purpose etc), but you'll always loose money chasing women. Goodluck young man.

I had to screen shot everything here. Thank you sir

that why I always choose beer over woman

You need to know that she wasn't faithful from the start. The guy was all there those times. She couldn't have gone over the relationship within 3 weeks, I'm telling you that she already had this guy....anyways that's not where I'm heading to. Your mistake was that you lived for her and the relationship. It's your fault because you tied your happiness around the relationship. Learn to live for yourself. Be a man not a boy. You can reach me on my Facebook page "Relationship Minds". If you want me to help you with the process of overcoming the relationship and your ex. Cheers

Shadbay:
I've been in extreme emotional pains for the past few months. I don't even know where to start to narrate my ordeal. I do not want this experience to damage me emotionally and psychologically, that's why I'm seeking help. Please pardon the length and blunders.

Earlier this year, just two weeks after my birthday, my ex-gf (gf of almost 7 years) broke up with me. I had just visited her and left two days prior to the breakup.
I went through the most challenging period of my life because I just suffered some job and graduate school rejections that period. The breakup worsened my situation and pushed me into a depression. I have never felt defeated in life till that point. She blocked me on all mediums of communication. It was too extreme. I went from 91kg to 85 kg in less than 3 weeks.

I visited her to understand the whole situation cos her behaviour was too extreme and I got a toxic dosage of embarrassments. She said she was done with me. She said a lot of hurtful things to me. The height of the embarrassments was calling her new boyfriend (barely 3 weeks after breaking up with me) right in front of me and telling him she doesn't know what I'm doing in her place. She even called some of her friends to inform them of my presence. They all sounded scared and concerned for her as if I was some kind of predator. They told her to leave her place at once and come to their place. All these calls were on speaker! This is someone I invested all these years and emotions for. I went through hell that period cos I was dealing with some other personal tribulations.

I can't imagine treating her or anybody else the way she treated me. I NEVER cheated on her, NOT ONCE or by chance! I have walked away from compromising situation countless times because I placed her so high. I had so much respect for her. She now went on to slander my name, accusing me of cheating!!! When I asked who was feeding her all those lies, she said her friends told her. How? Did I date you or your friends? It still boggles my mind to think she'll believe them and go about spreading those ugly rumours about me.

The straw that broke the camels back was when a friend of mine told me that she said she's grateful to God she didn't contract any infection/disease from me! I couldn't believe my ears. I broke down. This didn't just break my heart, it shattered my spirit. This is someone I imagined spending the rest of my life with. My whole family (even extended) accepted her as one of us.

I had to accept that things were beyond salvaging because any attempt from me to fix things kept doing the opposite. The minute it involved my sisters I had to accept defeat.

I never harmed her or attempt to lay a finger on her. I might not be perfect but I gave it my all. The situation is far worse than I described it here, it's even painful remembering them. I loved her to a fault.

I got a text from her about a month ago after I refused to answer her calls because I had just lost a loved one. She said she's getting married and hopes I find peace as she has found hers. I stared at those words speechless. The worst set of people one could ever encounter are those that hurt you, know that they hurt you and still turn around to play victim accusing you of hurting them. If there's anything I'm proud of is my level of self-control. I know few of my friends who made fun of me being extremely loyal to one girl, warning me severally that I'm wasting my time and good looks, that my youth is passing me by. At least I have a clean conscience that I never betrayed her trust. I never went about telling other people our business. Now I understand why they say good guys always finish last.


Women don't deserve loyalty, forget all their cliche that men are not faithful and honest. I went the faithful, loyal path what did I get in return? Venom! I feel repulsed when I hear women say "Men are dogs", "Men always cheat".

I just don't want this experience to turn me into something I'm not or make me an embittered soul. I'm traumatized beyond words. This was my first and only relationship and I gave it everything. I'm in my mid-twenties and I don't think I can ever love genuinely again. I need mature advice on how to come out of this ordeal a better person. I don't want to transfer any aggressions or micro-aggressions on anybody because of this experience. Please mature advice needed. Thank you.

Guy, all these your lamentations, I thought you are even over 40.Mid twenties and you want to stop living because of one silly hoe.
Yea it hurts really bad when someone you truly trust betrayed you. Mourn her for a week or a month max. That's the way to get over a cherished relationship then move on as if she is dead.I don't know whether you've lost a loved one to death. Do same to her. Life is too short to spend any part of it brooding over someone who will hurt you without looking back. Think more about the negatives part of her.
After healing take time and cultivate another relationship, you are still damned too young. Being with her for such long has wired your mind to think that she doesn't have a replacement. Start talking to random girls and learn to flirt easily, you will understand that you have been wasting your time with someone who is on lower rung of the food chain

Shadbay:
I've been in extreme emotional pains for the past few months. I don't even know where to start to narrate my ordeal. I do not want this experience to damage me emotionally and psychologically, that's why I'm seeking help. Please pardon the length and blunders.

Earlier this year, just two weeks after my birthday, my ex-gf (gf of almost 7 years) broke up with me. I had just visited her and left two days prior to the breakup.
I went through the most challenging period of my life because I just suffered some job and graduate school rejections that period. The breakup worsened my situation and pushed me into a depression. I have never felt defeated in life till that point. She blocked me on all mediums of communication. It was too extreme. I went from 91kg to 85 kg in less than 3 weeks.

I visited her to understand the whole situation cos her behaviour was too extreme and I got a toxic dosage of embarrassments. She said she was done with me. She said a lot of hurtful things to me. The height of the embarrassments was calling her new boyfriend (barely 3 weeks after breaking up with me) right in front of me and telling him she doesn't know what I'm doing in her place. She even called some of her friends to inform them of my presence. They all sounded scared and concerned for her as if I was some kind of predator. They told her to leave her place at once and come to their place. All these calls were on speaker! This is someone I invested all these years and emotions for. I went through hell that period cos I was dealing with some other personal tribulations.

I can't imagine treating her or anybody else the way she treated me. I NEVER cheated on her, NOT ONCE or by chance! I have walked away from compromising situation countless times because I placed her so high. I had so much respect for her. She now went on to slander my name, accusing me of cheating!!! When I asked who was feeding her all those lies, she said her friends told her. How? Did I date you or your friends? It still boggles my mind to think she'll believe them and go about spreading those ugly rumours about me.

The straw that broke the camels back was when a friend of mine told me that she said she's grateful to God she didn't contract any infection/disease from me! I couldn't believe my ears. I broke down. This didn't just break my heart, it shattered my spirit. This is someone I imagined spending the rest of my life with. My whole family (even extended) accepted her as one of us.

I had to accept that things were beyond salvaging because any attempt from me to fix things kept doing the opposite. The minute it involved my sisters I had to accept defeat.

I never harmed her or attempt to lay a finger on her. I might not be perfect but I gave it my all. The situation is far worse than I described it here, it's even painful remembering them. I loved her to a fault.

I got a text from her about a month ago after I refused to answer her calls because I had just lost a loved one. She said she's getting married and hopes I find peace as she has found hers. I stared at those words speechless. The worst set of people one could ever encounter are those that hurt you, know that they hurt you and still turn around to play victim accusing you of hurting them. If there's anything I'm proud of is my level of self-control. I know few of my friends who made fun of me being extremely loyal to one girl, warning me severally that I'm wasting my time and good looks, that my youth is passing me by. At least I have a clean conscience that I never betrayed her trust. I never went about telling other people our business. Now I understand why they say good guys always finish last.


Women don't deserve loyalty, forget all their cliche that men are not faithful and honest. I went the faithful, loyal path what did I get in return? Venom! I feel repulsed when I hear women say "Men are dogs", "Men always cheat".

I just don't want this experience to turn me into something I'm not or make me an embittered soul. I'm traumatized beyond words. This was my first and only relationship and I gave it everything. I'm in my mid-twenties and I don't think I can ever love genuinely again. I need mature advice on how to come out of this ordeal a better person. I don't want to transfer any aggressions or micro-aggressions on anybody because of this experience. Please mature advice needed. Thank you.

My friend you need to grow up. You think our wives now were our only girlfriends at the time? We all passed through it. Eventually you will find someone and move on. All these "I don't think I can love genuinely again" talk na small boy yarns.

Man, it is well. I pray you stay strong.

Why dont you channel your energy towards making yourself better, try reapplying for those graduate schools and all that.

One love brother

If not for the sake of my sisters, mum and some good ladies out there, I would say women deserve to be treated like slaves.

An eye opener to men to remain focus on building their self and net worth. Women is the worst investment a man can ever throw his money on except if she has become his wife and a responsible, business minded one at that.

OP, you have gotten good advice from people here. Time will make you feel better. That I can promise you. Just try pick up your life and become a great dude. You are still young and got great potentials. Don't allow the tide of frustration break your emotion. Get up and take charge bro.

Shadbay:
I've been in extreme emotional pains for the past few months. I don't even know where to start to narrate my ordeal. I do not want this experience to damage me emotionally and psychologically, that's why I'm seeking help. Please pardon the length and blunders.

Earlier this year, just two weeks after my birthday, my ex-gf (gf of almost 7 years) broke up with me. I had just visited her and left two days prior to the breakup.
I went through the most challenging period of my life because I just suffered some job and graduate school rejections that period. The breakup worsened my situation and pushed me into a depression. I have never felt defeated in life till that point. She blocked me on all mediums of communication. It was too extreme. I went from 91kg to 85 kg in less than 3 weeks.

I visited her to understand the whole situation cos her behaviour was too extreme and I got a toxic dosage of embarrassments. She said she was done with me. She said a lot of hurtful things to me. The height of the embarrassments was calling her new boyfriend (barely 3 weeks after breaking up with me) right in front of me and telling him she doesn't know what I'm doing in her place. She even called some of her friends to inform them of my presence. They all sounded scared and concerned for her as if I was some kind of predator. They told her to leave her place at once and come to their place. All these calls were on speaker! This is someone I invested all these years and emotions for. I went through hell that period cos I was dealing with some other personal tribulations.

I can't imagine treating her or anybody else the way she treated me. I NEVER cheated on her, NOT ONCE or by chance! I have walked away from compromising situation countless times because I placed her so high. I had so much respect for her. She now went on to slander my name, accusing me of cheating!!! When I asked who was feeding her all those lies, she said her friends told her. How? Did I date you or your friends? It still boggles my mind to think she'll believe them and go about spreading those ugly rumours about me.

The straw that broke the camels back was when a friend of mine told me that she said she's grateful to God she didn't contract any infection/disease from me! I couldn't believe my ears. I broke down. This didn't just break my heart, it shattered my spirit. This is someone I imagined spending the rest of my life with. My whole family (even extended) accepted her as one of us.

I had to accept that things were beyond salvaging because any attempt from me to fix things kept doing the opposite. The minute it involved my sisters I had to accept defeat.

I never harmed her or attempt to lay a finger on her. I might not be perfect but I gave it my all. The situation is far worse than I described it here, it's even painful remembering them. I loved her to a fault.

I got a text from her about a month ago after I refused to answer her calls because I had just lost a loved one. She said she's getting married and hopes I find peace as she has found hers. I stared at those words speechless. The worst set of people one could ever encounter are those that hurt you, know that they hurt you and still turn around to play victim accusing you of hurting them. If there's anything I'm proud of is my level of self-control. I know few of my friends who made fun of me being extremely loyal to one girl, warning me severally that I'm wasting my time and good looks, that my youth is passing me by. At least I have a clean conscience that I never betrayed her trust. I never went about telling other people our business. Now I understand why they say good guys always finish last.


Women don't deserve loyalty, forget all their cliche that men are not faithful and honest. I went the faithful, loyal path what did I get in return? Venom! I feel repulsed when I hear women say "Men are dogs", "Men always cheat".

I just don't want this experience to turn me into something I'm not or make me an embittered soul. I'm traumatized beyond words. This was my first and only relationship and I gave it everything. I'm in my mid-twenties and I don't think I can ever love genuinely again. I need mature advice on how to come out of this ordeal a better person. I don't want to transfer any aggressions or micro-aggressions on anybody because of this experience. Please mature advice needed. Thank you.

I truly am Sorry for your current emotional state. Search for ubunja on this forum. Study all his teachings. Ask him questions. Dont forget to thank me later in a few months or years from today.

Emotionally wrecked because a woman left you? What a fuc....king pu...ssy!

Get a grip you ninny.

Sugar97:
7 years
That's more like a divorce

If there is anything more than divorce, that's what it is.

What nonsense why would she do that. Send her number to me, is she crazy.

Young man focus on your career path . And leave the shithole for a better country. When you eventually become successful and out of the shithole you will find more pretty girls.

Shadbay:
I'm just hurt, man. Cut me, I bleed after all I'm human. Lessons learnt. I'm still learning. Thanks

Man. Yes! You should be emotional.

However, MATURITY is putting your emotions in check. This is the least of all disappointments to be worried about.

You are young. There is a whole LIFE before you. Brace up for the great days before you..

Bro you self wicked..
How you go dey keep somebori daughter for 7 years..

Even if Na medicine she dey study for school she for don graduate..

Haba you sef think. Why do you want to keep her for another 7 years again.

Mtcheew that girl have received sense..

iamjahmeyou:
You don't have feel depressed as far as your heart is clean and spotless, you gat to pick yourself again and look beyond her. don't forget to be good to whom ever you are going to give a chance a again, two wrongs can never make a right.

Red flag, you can't change the nature of women.
Women don't like good guys simple forgot those requirement of their and show them how tough of a guy you are, most atimes is not too much money but how you manage situation and attension they seek. Never let a woman know that you can't do without her, else when she strikes is just like government shorting down your business, how you will survive


Is OK to have a clean heart man to man than to woman to man, cos business might be your relationship with a man but 2 hearts become one don't do that, that's why you are called a man head, control be tough on a woman she will respect for that.

Michhy123:
Iam available... Good character but not that pretty face ....IAM not a liability.... I am currently going through a similar thing but it is well...
You can hook up for a chat...
Hey who stone me

Now, this is what I'm talking about. Grabbing the DICK by it's SHAFT. I like my women; Bold n Daring. Beta Husband / LifePartner fall on you, say AMEN �

Forgiveness is all you need . Start with forgiving yourself then forgive her. You have a lot of great years ahead of you. Focus on your career bro. Love will come.

healthserve:
Since you've been where the Op is in the past, is it true such ladies suffer at the hands of karma later on? What happened to/with the madam?

Forget karma .......work hard

Shadbay:
I've been in extreme emotional pains for the past few months. I don't even know where to start to narrate my ordeal. I do not want this experience to damage me emotionally and psychologically, that's why I'm seeking help. Please pardon the length and blunders.

Earlier this year, just two weeks after my birthday, my ex-gf (gf of almost 7 years) broke up with me. I had just visited her and left two days prior to the breakup.
I went through the most challenging period of my life because I just suffered some job and graduate school rejections that period. The breakup worsened my situation and pushed me into a depression. I have never felt defeated in life till that point. She blocked me on all mediums of communication. It was too extreme. I went from 91kg to 85 kg in less than 3 weeks.

I visited her to understand the whole situation cos her behaviour was too extreme and I got a toxic dosage of embarrassments. She said she was done with me. She said a lot of hurtful things to me. The height of the embarrassments was calling her new boyfriend (barely 3 weeks after breaking up with me) right in front of me and telling him she doesn't know what I'm doing in her place. She even called some of her friends to inform them of my presence. They all sounded scared and concerned for her as if I was some kind of predator. They told her to leave her place at once and come to their place. All these calls were on speaker! This is someone I invested all these years and emotions for. I went through hell that period cos I was dealing with some other personal tribulations.

I can't imagine treating her or anybody else the way she treated me. I NEVER cheated on her, NOT ONCE or by chance! I have walked away from compromising situation countless times because I placed her so high. I had so much respect for her. She now went on to slander my name, accusing me of cheating!!! When I asked who was feeding her all those lies, she said her friends told her. How? Did I date you or your friends? It still boggles my mind to think she'll believe them and go about spreading those ugly rumours about me.

The straw that broke the camels back was when a friend of mine told me that she said she's grateful to God she didn't contract any infection/disease from me! I couldn't believe my ears. I broke down. This didn't just break my heart, it shattered my spirit. This is someone I imagined spending the rest of my life with. My whole family (even extended) accepted her as one of us.

I had to accept that things were beyond salvaging because any attempt from me to fix things kept doing the opposite. The minute it involved my sisters I had to accept defeat.

I never harmed her or attempt to lay a finger on her. I might not be perfect but I gave it my all. The situation is far worse than I described it here, it's even painful remembering them. I loved her to a fault.

I got a text from her about a month ago after I refused to answer her calls because I had just lost a loved one. She said she's getting married and hopes I find peace as she has found hers. I stared at those words speechless. The worst set of people one could ever encounter are those that hurt you, know that they hurt you and still turn around to play victim accusing you of hurting them. If there's anything I'm proud of is my level of self-control. I know few of my friends who made fun of me being extremely loyal to one girl, warning me severally that I'm wasting my time and good looks, that my youth is passing me by. At least I have a clean conscience that I never betrayed her trust. I never went about telling other people our business. Now I understand why they say good guys always finish last.


Women don't deserve loyalty, forget all their cliche that men are not faithful and honest. I went the faithful, loyal path what did I get in return? Venom! I feel repulsed when I hear women say "Men are dogs", "Men always cheat".

I just don't want this experience to turn me into something I'm not or make me an embittered soul. I'm traumatized beyond words. This was my first and only relationship and I gave it everything. I'm in my mid-twenties and I don't think I can ever love genuinely again. I need mature advice on how to come out of this ordeal a better person. I don't want to transfer any aggressions or micro-aggressions on anybody because of this experience. Please mature advice needed. Thank you.

Move on bro...Similar things happen to all of us at one time in our life...I experienced the same thing with my girlfriend while in the university..Trust me I was terribly devastated but it brought out the beast in me by not making commitment to any woman. I met my current wife during the process of flirting with several women and trust me, it been the best experience..When I see the other girl on Facebook now..I wonder if I could have loved her like I loved my current wife who is pretier, sexier, classier and better in all spheres of life. Just focus on ur goals in life...Flirt with different women (Friendship without a single financial commitment, yes, they will complain ure stingy)..Women are born to complain anyway). Channel ur energy and resources into bcoming a biger person...Wish u well man

I'll advise you get a hold on yourself. Every one has had their own fair share of heartbreaks.

Mine was in 2016 and since then iv not been able to go into any relationship. Waiting on God.

Now, you said 7years. My dear 7years is too long to be in a relationship. She's a lady and you know her timing is not same as your timing cos women tend to age faster. so shes prolly scared the longer the relationship stays, the riskier it gets cos you might wake up one day and say she's looking old and all that and move on to a younger girl. I'm sure thats what friends and families would have advised her. So in a way its your fault, you delayed her for too long.

Again, we dont know how true it is that you're not guilty of what she accused you. Look here i m a lady and before she could make that statement that "thank God she didn't contract an STD from you", she must have seen one or two things. Your probably guilty. In fact, its one of the reasons I'm afraid of going into any relationship now cos that was why I opted out in the first place. Men una matter tire person.

My bro, take heart.

Funnily enough, when I had a heartbreak, it was nairaland that made me get over it even as a guest then cos theres no time I come on that I won't see funny comments that would make me laugh and roll on the floor so I was able to escape depression that 2016 till date even though the breakup was heart-wrecking and then Nairaland still had many funny members and interesting funny threads. above all God gave me succour.

So my dear, cheer up. Look for funny groups that will make you laugh always and I tell you, laughter is the best therapy to depression and heartbreak.

Healings in Jesus name.

Most important thing, MOVE ON, MOVE ON and keep Moving.

Life here is one kinda journey that didn’t start here. Whatever happens during the voyage is to be observed and lived, not to be struggled with...nothing happens by mistake.

Telling you a better woman will come, or she will regret her actions, or God has a better plan for you... is just a way of tricking your mind to rest the matter; your journey is your journey.

Grab the lesson in your experience, you will need it in the next stage. Don't take life here too serious, it is not what you think.

I was once in that what I called circle of stupidity. I had extra year because of that oloriburuku using my 400l tuition fee to pay for hers as she just got admitted then and being a stylite in school gives the grace than new intake, only for everything to change during my final year second semester exam

but I'm a happy man today, if I had marry that useless girl I would have regret it all my life. God just saved me from that non industrious. the lady I met after her then we are on uninterrupted relationship for years now


I started criticising my family stand on marrying only from my tribe since then. I had 7 relationships all my life and out of these relationship, only this my current girl spent much time with me and she's submissive, loyal, committed,. 5 yorubas, one Delta and my fiancé who's Igbo


just move on and look for another lady you're being destined to marry as wife. any lady that could spent 7yrs with you and still quit can leave the marriage at any fvcking time which is even the worse depression

Take heart bro. I was once in your shoe. Mine ended our 4 years relationship for no reason. Later i find out that she got hooked up with one abroad guy who promised her instant marriage. That was the hardest period of my life. Funny enough she is still single till today. Our girls are more loyal to the guys that treat them like trash while the good guys are considered mugus. Hustle hard and make money.