₦airaland Forum

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.

pocohantas:
Forgive her.

Women are polygamous in nature.

Don't allow those men win, she is your wife...they are the intruders.

Just focus on your children, she'll definitely get tired and come back to you. They always do... I wish you strength.

GreatDad19:
My wife has put me through hell in just such a short time. I understand what this man is going through, it takes the grace of God to leave these olosho women we call wives. My wife will get the shock of her life in December, I’ve already furnished my new apartment and I will be moving there leaving my wife to suffer on her own. I will sell that house that she’s living in, let her go and collect money from her customers to take care of her. Bros I will advise you to get your finances up and leave her ASAP. Got no time for these useless parasites that will come and ruin your life.

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.

pocohantas:
Forgive her.

Women are polygamous in nature.

Don't allow those men win, she is your wife...they are the intruders.

Just focus on your children, she'll definitely get tired and come back to you. They always do...

Always remember, God hates divorce.
I wish you strength.

Safitu:
The man is not under any spell. The reality is that a lot of men endure cheating from their wives contrary to what you read on social media. Do you know what marriage entails? It’s not just a ceremony, it’s a physical and spiritual bonding, a soul tie that becomes extremely difficult to get out of, especially after many years and reproducing together. It just takes a lot of strength and grace to walk out. A lot of men do not come out to confess the problems their wives put on them because it’s a huge dent to their ego. Just pray that you marry a virtuous woman because it’s not easy.

zeb04:
A lot of men will never open up to tell you their partner has cheated on them because of what society will say but it happens.

fykes:
This guy u are lucky u are not dead yet.
A woman who can do all these either has u caged diabolically or thinks she has u caged...
How do u even manage to stay alive End her or she ends u ASAP

Isabellah:
Nigerian parents don't get enough credit. Most of them deserve endless praise and commendation for raising kids in a country bedeviled by economic hardship. Most people are not perfect, but I celebrate my parents everyday. I hope yours are worthy of celebration too.

LadySarah:
When did You notice this behavior first?What was ur immediate rxn?What did She give As excuse;small p..is,unsatisfactory sex,low libido on ur side,weight gain?
All these yrs what have You done to improve Where She complained?


Watch warroom movie .That is what they tell the women who complain here so You can find out If it Will Work for you.

Work on yourself ,ok?

hurthubby:
I am 48 while she is 45

fredoooooo:
God bless you ...

Bro pay extra attention to all you're doing, those useless being always want to play smart..

pocohantas:
Forgive her.

Women are polygamous in nature.

Don't allow those men win, she is your wife...they are the intruders.

Just focus on your children, she'll definitely get tired and come back to you. They always do...

Always remember, God hates divorce.
I wish you strength.

pocohantas:
Forgive her.

Women are polygamous in nature.

Don't allow those men win, she is your wife...they are the intruders.

Just focus on your children, she'll definitely get tired and come back to you. They always do...

Always remember, God hates divorce.
I wish you strength.