₦airaland Forum

ednut1:
na u wan enforce the law He can go nikkia as she is a muslim

As long as he got married in court it's against the law for him to marry another lady till he divorces the one he has, the lady can sue him and claim half of his property if the Nigerian system wasn't corrupt

t

ednut1:
na u wan enforce the law He can go nikkia as she is a muslim

it does not work that way. you cannot be married under registry and traditional(islamic)act at the same time.
Please try to understand marriage act.

capitalzero:
it does not work that way. you cannot be married under registry and traditional(islamic)act at the same time.
Please try to understand marriage act.

this is 9ja oja. No one will enforce it lol

vingeophysicist:
Is your husband a Muslim? If yes according to Muslim religion he is entitled to four wives if he possess the financial capability.

U people don’t know what religion is, we twist it to suit our human desires.... relegion doesn’t give anybody the right to make another person unhappy.. every religion from Muslim to Hindu to Bhudaism all preach one similar thing as different as they are...love ur neighbour as ur self..anything that go against this is selfish interest and that’s no longer relegion. God ddnt create any gender greater than the order. The two are to compliment each other cos they are both weak....
The Bible calls the woman weaker sex, but u don’t use the word “weaker” if U are not comparing it to something else that is “weak”....at the end of the day we are all the same in the eyes of God, no one should justify making life hell for anyone just because he’s got a pen!s....

how does having multiple wives even work for men who do it..:: dip ur pen!s into one this morning, enter the other wife at night...it’s very disgusting shit, sounds like a script from a pornn movie..

akinade28:
Life is full of ups and downs
Please get yourself together for the sake of your baby and your family. Because if you fall sick or die, he will still go about sleeping around, making your child motherless and throwing your parents and loved ones into mourning. Don't let your parents investment into your life come to a waste because of a man.
You can force a guy to be loyal or faithful to you, you can only try your best to be a good wife.
Please leave the marriage, if you can no longer endure it or it is affecting you psychologically.
Your child deserve the best of you.
Don't stay alone, you will just get depressed. Surround yourself with people you can trust and can make you laugh
Please focus on your goals and how to make your life and that of child better
I know it's not going to be easy, but I pray God strengthens you, and you will look back and smile at the end

Prayer Prayers and Prayers. You have the authority to challenge God to intervene in your favour. If you don't mind I cab guide you on how to go about the prayers. or you can visit any MFM church and see the pastor personally for deliverance prayer

miss eat up and feed your baby woman, you are 26? do you even have a job? or are you just a full housewife?
sometimes you just gotta ignore something to attract it back and all those satisfying sex you give your husband stop them, there was a reason God gave Adam only one wife.
enlarge your own business and if you don't have any find one that suits you best and enlarge it and don't have time for your husband just develop yourself and your child let him go meet that woman and your make yourself available to other men( not to the point of cheating though, if u can't do dat without cheating then don't) make the bastard jealous, give a pill of his own medicine, don't be gentle with him in dis case

You better run!

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

It is such a pity that people just rush into marriage and are not yet prepared to commit themselves to one partner. Marriage is an institution but most people take it as a course that will only last for a while.

I advice you to focus more on God, get closer to Him in prayers and take good care of yourself and your baby.

You cannot change the attitude of your husband as, his mind is already focused on something else. Only God that has the hearts of kings in His hands can change him.
We fail so much in marriage by refusing to forsake all others and cling to our spouse. Please dear sister, take it easy and eat well. With time he will come around.

God bless you

xtivin2:
Honestly bro, don't be too quick to exonerate a women when you hear her story. Every other thing you said is needless to me, the husband may have a case of infidelity or any other if you hear his own story. Both of them need a mature third party to hear them out, try to resolve or give proper advise amicably.

Oga you have your own opinion so do other people. Your opinion cannot invalidate my experience while my experience cannot make yours false. I owe you nothing therefore I have no point to make to you.. My sound advice might be foolish to you and your sound advice might be foolish to me. But wetin my eye don see oga. All the epistles anyone writes cannot make me unsee them.

Please, my advice is GOD IS THE FIRST AND LAST, BEGINNING AND THE END........surrender ur life into GOD'S HANDS.If you really love him and you want keep ur marriage take this step now kneel before ur creator JESUS pray & hav a covenant with him that if GOD save ur marriage that you will keep to the vow & promise you made and Heaven will answer ur prayers and push the other woman away totally from ur husband.... Enemies are trying to bring you down but Heaven will not allow it. GOD will not fail you and he will never fail.... Please, try and talk to ur parents immediately so both families can talk sense into ur man..... It's well with you & ur beautiful baby surely at last you will rejoice in thy salvation of the LORD

My dear sister, no advice will come out as the best advice on the story you just shared as we are all different in our own ways, we are all totally different human being, we endure pains differently, we endure emotional trauma differently and that is why some very weak people chicken out of the planet by committing suicide. I have so much to say to you but putting it all up here would be difficult, let me know if you are willing to chat me privately, i will create time to talk to you. I've been married for 7 years, I'm in my early 30s with a 4 years old son. I really think i can help you deal with this situation. Leaving your marriage isn't the best option, this is one of those challenges you will have to face in your own race of life, so be prepared to fight for what rightfully belong to you.

rychard:
See nonsense, if she's your sister, I hope you would offer this same advise.. Man and marriage is not a price, and she never go above your peace of mind and sanity. Can you stay with a wife who is openly cheating on you, is it until he infects her with HIV or worse?

My opinion, Almost all men cheat in this country, it’s only when you find out that you can address yours as a cheat .. from the narrative, the friendship has ban on even before they got married .. leaving that marriage won’t be of any good to help.. NEVER LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND FOR ANOTHER WOMAN!!!

Leave now please. You can find love again while your parents take care of your child.

If you don't leave, you'll regret by 35. More kids to feed and no love from him. By then the gifts and money will stop. The gifts are only to have his way, very soon they will end.

Leave now.

Pocohantas pls drop another bomb here like u did at the other thread

Until I hear your husband's side of the story. Obviously there is nothing wrong in marrying more than one wife.
Does he love you enough, does he carter and provide for you, what do you do yourself. You are just Catching Feelings and that is normal and expected. Here is the thing about marriage, no one must die put. Is only in this part of our land especially igbos believe that you must marry one wife.

You should talk it over with him and info him that you can't cope with his Idea of marrying a second wife. And on his own side two, it is very wrong to have an affairs outside marriage. I must condemn it so that you wouldn't think I'm supporting evil. In the mean time, you must have to make yourself happy. Just like every other person have commented, it will be difficult but you have to try. I won't advice you start having affairs too. Of you can't cope, just inform kindly inform him and leave.

This is me being objective.

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

While reading your post, only one thing came to my mind, cooperate with him.

Most women would protest and fight, fighting has different strategies. Make him feel guilty by being the best and most understanding wife. Your husband is not a bad man, am sure he feels some guilt and is lost. Do not demonize him, that would push him further away.

I know it hurts, you just have to be strong. Since you didn't mention divorce, keep it that way. There is a big chance he will comeback to you regretting what he did.

Lastly, since you recently gave birth, am sure its a while you both had sex. You will need to come out if the celibate period soon. It might be one of the reasons things became worst between you. Demand for sex as often as you can, that will make him tired and reduce the frequency of visit to the other woman. Talk less of her and do your best as a wife, thats your last chance in saving what is left of your marriage.

MarianaTrench:
Legal prosecution here in Nigeria?

Yes

But a man cheating and wanting a second wife is not adultery right?

uuzba:
You want to marry another man's wife?
Is that not adultery?

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

Pls ohhh, don't wound yourself, if anything happens to you, wherever you are or maybe, for the fact that you are no longer there to care for your child, you will remain sad

If he wants to marry her, leave him to go ahead, the good thing is that she is a Muslim and might not be happy in the marriage when traditional things comes up

Forget about his decision to marry because only God can change his mind

Just be yourself and take charge of your home while he will be getting a house for her if they marry

Just let him know that you are not in support of his plans and it will affect your marriage with him. If he insist, leave to go ahead

Men, once they sex another woman who have every time in the whole world for them, their senses will no longer be fine unless they do what is in their mind

Let them marry but they will definitely have issues and that's when he will regret his decisions and come back to you, by then you have already developed thick skin on him.

Nurse your baby and have the number of kids you think you can handle incase he stops taking care of you guys

Make sure you get something doing and prepare to take care of yourself and your kids

Be strong and be happy that's not the end of life

Whatever that makes you happy, just do it , you only live once

I don't know why the first solution of people to problems in Marriage is to divorce. This is not nice. How will you be advising such to a case as this.? Is not that the Man has threatened the life of the woman.

My advice is, you have people, talk to your parents, talk to your In-laws (parents) before it is too late. I just feel, solution can be rendered via Communication.

Try to investigate how long the relationship has been going on, who the lady is, why your husband is playing outside. All these will guide you in solving the problem.

I didn't support DiVORCE as solution for NOW o. Please remember your children, they're the ones that are always vulnerable to the dark effects of divorce. Thanks you

All of you telling her to leave her marriage. Do you think it's a wise decision? Or you think her next husband won't do the same?. Plus the fact that she already had a child. What would be the face of the newly born baby? Fatherless or Motherless ? Seems we guys don't know the meaning of broken homes and the fate of the child involved.

Hello sis, my advice is to stick with your husband, isn't that what you sworn at the altar?.

No marriage is perfect.

Chai! Women have suffered. Even with 3kids I'll still leave. You can cheat o but you can't rubb it on my face or boldly tell me you'll marry another wife.
Madam pls leave already

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

Why do i feel your husband has been hypothesized?

Please be prayerful and Let your mum or someone you trust come stay with you.

Is nobody coming around to do Omigwo with you?

I believe you are a housewife who mostly depend on the man to be able to feed and do any other thing.
That is ur problem.
You have too much time to be following all ur husbands single step daily.
You feel insecure, too obsessed to ur man. U want to know every thing he does with his phone.

Now this man has seen that all ur life revolves around him. This has made him to relax his own love for u, beliving that does not need to struggle hard to keep u. He beliv u will always be there. That is hw u have made him to feel. That is why he can walk to u and tell it off on ur face without any provocation that he can date, flirt and do anything with any other woman outside u and still stupidly quoting the Bible wrongly.

Get urslf a job, start making money, care a bit less about his money and many things he is doing. This will wake up his love for u. He will beliv that u have ur money. You can do anything u want for and by urslf. He will also see that other men can be interested in u. This will make him to start showing much love to u in order to make u bliv he so much cares and for that u should not allow any other man into ur life.

If u start crying at this point into ur marriage, madam, how long do u think u will cry.
Stop trying to know what is in his phone. It will not do u well at all. Even if u finds out something bad, u can do nothing. The worst u can do in such situation is to get him divorced which u may still not feel fulfilled.
When u monitor ur husband too much, you push him into doing what he never wanted to do.

Oritsewhandey:
Try these, below:

1. Collect whatever monies he gives you.
2. YOU MUST establish a sustainable business, as
QUICK as possible.
3. Take that business as your 2nd husband.
4. Try build a mini 2 or 3 bedroom for YOURSELF.
5. NO WOMAN FIGHTS A MAN & WIN!!!
6. Moment your husband goes with other woman,
move to your QUICKLY BUILT flat.
7. Never worry. Being Grass Widow is just temporary.
8. Your child still BEARS his/father's name.
9. Change all your online IDENTITIES. To forestall
spiritual attacks from the 3rd party.
10.
DON'T REFUSE ANY MONIES HE GIVES YOU AT THESE EXTRA TIME. YOU WILL NEED THEM BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
11.
Don't fight his attempt to marry outside. YOU CAN NEVER WIN OVER SUCH. Think business. Think fast.
12.
Build your business. Build your mini flat. Move on.
13.
We went through same thing. Except by God, if you don't listen, the collateral damages MAY RUIN YOUR LIFE & CHILD's too ( God forbid that)

I am an Architect today by God's grace & MY MUM's life-threatening agony to sail us through.

Wake up & stop whining. WHEN LIFE THROWS YOU A SOUR LEMON, MAKE A LEMONADE FROM IT.

God be with you, my sister.

Good day sir.. I cud see that you are an architect


Pls sir, my good frnd just finished his service. He is a very good archy with hnd upper class architecture from Federal Polytechnic Ilaro, Ogun state... Pls can I mail you so that I send you his cv... He needs a job now especially now dt he lost one of the most important person to him.

I can vouch for him sir, he was my fellowship pastor back in poly...

Any help from you sir

Oritsewhandey:
.....................................
Listen up, my friend!
Do you love your life? Your child's tomorrow??
Your story lines resembled ALMOST MY MUM's marital episodes.

Try on below:
1. Collect whatever monies he gives you.
2. Family establish a sustainable business, as QUICK
as possible.
3. Take that business as your 2nd husband.
4. Try build a mini 2 or 3 bedroom for YOURSELF.
5. NO WOMAN FIGHTS A MAN & WIN!!!
6. Moment your husband goes with other woman,
move to your QUICKLY BUILT flat.
7. Never worry. Being Grass Widow is just temporary.
8. Your child still BEARS his/father's name.
9. Change all your online IDENTITIES. To forestall
spiritual attacks from the 3rd party.
10.
DON'T REFUSE ANY MONIES HE GIVES YOU AT THESE EXTRA TIME. YOU WILL NEED THEM BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
11.
Don't fight his attempt to marry outside. YOU CAN NEVER WIN OVER SUCH. Think business. Think fast.
12.
Build your business. Build your mini flat. Move on.
13.
We went through same thing. Except by God, if you don't listen, the collateral damages MAY RUIN YOUR LIFE & CHILD's too ( God forbid that)

I am an Architect today by God's grace & MY MUM's life-threatening agony to sail us through.

Wake up & stop whining. WHEN LIFE THROWS YOU A SOUR LEMON, MAKE A LEMONADE FROM IT.

God be with you, my sister.

sir, my good frnd just finished his service. He is a very good archy with hnd upper class architecture from Federal Polytechnic Ilaro, Ogun state... Pls can I mail you so that I send you his cv... He needs a job now especially now dt he lost one of the most important person to him.

I can vouch for him sir, he was my fellowship pastor back in poly... He is an honest and God fearing brother sir

Any help from you sir

marriedvirgin:
My sister,I want to tell you a story so that you can learn. I got married in 2012.In 2014 ,by March I was already 3 months pregnant. My husband was doing exactly the same thing that your husband was doing.I had never slept with a man before I met him.My husband even told me that the two women he was dating have the right to come to the house.I almost miscarried. I fell into depression.I will have even gone mad of not for God.The doctor sent someone to come and remove me from that house. Remember that I was still three months pregnant. As I left that house since 2014 till 2019 I have never spoken to him. He got married in 2016 again to another woman. This 2019 in July the woman ran away from him with a one year old child.This same man,his sister's husband committed suicide in March 2019.My dear sister,you have the decision in your hands.

Let me tell you another story.When I was a school there was this boy who used to come close to me.He never told me what his intentions were towards me.I also sat me quiet.One day he told me he was tired. I was confused because I don't even understand what was going on or maybe he just wanted me to use my head and understand that he wants to date me.He never said anything. After telling me that he is tired,one month after that he told me that he now has a girlfriend and that his girlfriend is a virgin and never had a boyfriend. It sounded like an insult and a challenge that he was throwing to my face.This boy got married to this girl in 2014 and this is 2019 and this girl has never gotten pregnant and they don't have a child since 5 years that they got married. Can you believe that this boy contacted me in March of 2019 and was telling me that he will give me everything I want and he was trying to come to my house.He said if I want money he will give plus anything I want.God revealed to me that I should never accept him or allow him come close to me because he wants to use me to make a child.Another thing that God revealed to me is that the money he wants to give me is to make "salaka" so that his wife's womb can open. And God showed me that if the salaka does not work he will get me pregnant so that I can give him a child but he will still stay with his wife and if I open my mouth he will make a scandal of me.God is faithful. When God made this revelation to me I distant myself from him till today.He thought that he was challenging but it is God who is great.If anybody hurts you,walk away from them and don't look back.It is God who holds their answer.

In conclusion you are a certified single mom . Good

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

i dont know why a good spouse male or female always end up with a trash partner

My sincere take is for you to stay put and use this vulnerable time to get money not gifts. Who a pair of shoes help. Let him set up a business for you as compensation or pay for your masters, specialist courses. Something tangible. Negotiate now when you still can and obtain the money. Involve your family and his as it's no longer a two person marriage. There's already a third party. Eat,pamper yourself and take care of your sweet baby. Lose baby fat,dress up and roll chasing your career or business. Ignore this man let he chase his new wife. See that baby as your new love. If na die this man die you no go survive? Sorry darling it's well. I don't think Muslims get 2nd wife while the first wife is at her first omugwo. They give it some time,Not to talk of a Christian. Your husband has no fear of God. I think he has gotten the other woman pregnant,if not he would have been discreet. My dear dust your self and prepare for the challenge ahead with or without him. I wish you all the best.

Richy4:
Reading some of the heart breaking stories here on Nairaland sometimes makes me imagine/ wonder what the Reverend Fathers must have been hearing during confessions..

I can't just imagine how a man will look into his wife's eyes and say that he won't let got of the other woman.. That is the highest disrespect that...I'm speechless..

OP please tell me that you are not jobless.. because I can't see what will make a talented, young, beautiful 26yr old daughter of the land to remain in that house and swallow garnished Sh!t.. If he can't let go of her you should have shown some class and withdraw honourably..

Some times I blame parents for interfering and putting unnecessary pressure on their kids to get married.. it's not compulsory that every relationship must end in marriage..

Take your baby, Go to your parent's home and cool off temporarily...While you were there, Think if it was possible for you and your baby's to have a good life and future without him in the picture.. this is because He has made up his mind to have a second wife, The other woman has agreed to be in his life... So now the decision is yours to make if u want to be be the first wife or separate from that bull$h!t

If you were my sister, I would seriously advise that you don't allow your parent to reconcile this matter.. Let him finish what he has started.. because if they forced him to leave the other woman, his business might suffer..and his anger would be on u.. if you asked for an upkeep money... He will angrily tell u he doesn't have... He might be bold to tell you that the person helping him on his business is no longer there, where do u expect him to get money.. That I believe will hurt u..

If u are not working, dust your certificate and Start submitting CVs. At least within 5months u might get something... You rent a little granny flat and settle with your son.. suggesting that you go to your parents house was just for u to think.. not for u to bash him in any way... and it's not for intervention..


Modified:
I have missed those days on Nairaland around 2010, 2011.. When there were so many people here on family section giving good advice irrespective of your gender when ever a topic like this comes up. those days kids like us then don't even talk we only hits the like button..

Nowadays, I have noticed that people gives advice based on gender.. an advice they can't even give to their family members or friends in distress they just throw it out without giving any duty of care..

In this case, Assuming OP was cheating on the husband and she boldly told her husband that she can't let go of her sugar daddy she met while in Uni..That the meets all her financial requirements ... Besides that he has been helping her restaurant business grow..

and the husband comes to Nairaland and seek for advice, would you guys have given him the same advice you have given the OP?

Would you have said oh, he should not let another man take over what belong to him.. He should stay in that relationship and pray for her to change there's nothing prayers cannot do .... he should fight for the marriage he shouldn't let her go since she doesn't nag too much at home after all a lot of women cheats...

Most of you got sister and I bet no one messes with them yet.. why the double standard while dishing out advice.. from page 1 to 6 that I managed to read is so infuriating..

I don't even know how to start, you just nailed it all.
I wonder why kids are so many here.

I read it all, and have been thinking for the best thing the Lady can do.