₦airaland Forum

MYDEBBY:
The dice is cast,meeting about to begin as summoned by her parents.

Cc
Mynd44
Obinoscopy
Dominique
Fynestboi

healthserve:
We wish you well.
Be open minded and free spirited.

MYDEBBY:
Thanks Health serve my man.

Tokziby:
Mr MYDEBBY what's the update

faithfull18:
Amebo.

faithfull18:
Amebo.

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

francdec4:
May I ask so do you suggest guys give up immediately a lady says she is not interested in a relationship or marriage or try to win her in a more responsible way. Just an opinion.

frozen70:
The truth is tgat she is fed up with the relationship and marriage

Her expectations weren't gotten

You are lucky she is showing you the red light at this early stage

Go with her to her family and if they are playing smart on you, just ask her before her parents if she is done with you and if she says yes, just make sure her parents heard what she said and stand up and take your leave

Forget about what people will say, that's nit your concern, your concern should be how to plan and move on

But if you feel that you can't let her go and you ate willing to tolerate anything she does to you, then deal with it

healthserve:
Wow Op


Very well. Perfect way to go about. When we all come to the tables with open hearts and minds,which gives room for pouring of hearts,healing and reconciliation. I'm a firm believer of couples reconciling over divorce any day or time.

MYDEBBY:
Health serve thanks for following up on me,Godbless you.

healthserve:
I got worried and have been waiting for the outcome since yesterday. Rest assured there's always chance for reconciliation in any marriage no matter how bad the issues are if both parties would be willing to be vulnerable to one another , open, honest and discuss eye to eye

MYDEBBY:
Thanks all for all your support,prayers and counsel,like I did promised I will update the house. We had the meeting inside the church as decided by her parents.after prayers the father asked what is my complaint,I told him exactly what I wrote in my initial post which you all read.The dad asked her if what I said is true she accepted it to be true but also at the same time said I like painting things to suit myself so that people will support me,after saying all I said I then said am done with her too since she first said she is done with me in my initial post. Immediately I said that I then said I will like to take my child.it was at this juncture the dad said I will take my daughter but not now,while the mum said its not possible for me to take her.The mum and dad then started to recant all the abortions and randy(womanizing behaviour),and some negative attitudes I had put up with their daughter which their daughter opened up to them on with tears rolling down the eyes of her parents,herself and myself.It was at this juncture I discovered that being inside church I have done a lot harm to the little girl all these years we have been dating unknowingly to me,my eyes became clear that I knelt down and started to ask God and herself and her parents for forgiveness.They then forgave me and prayed for me and their daughter.After which they asked her if she is still interested in me,she said yes,but that she expected me to keep apologising to her even after she said she is done with me.She also said that if we are to continue I must prove to her by my love and character that we need to start afresh again so as to convince her.The parents then urge her to forgive me and forget that a new beginning and chapter has opened now that as for me I should show am serious by completing marital stuff. After which we prayed and left.
The following morning being sunday,I was called by her Parents in their house it was at this point the scolded their daughter concerning all my complaints,they ask her to be going to church,dress moderately avoid trousers and influence her friends positively instead of allowing her friends influence her negatively.She then agreed to adjust in her ways. Before I left I then asked her once again if she is still interested she said yes and that God is her witness that since she met me she has never slept with any other man.Her parents still asked her the same question if she is still interested she said yes but I would need to build the love I killed in her heart once again.It was at this point the parents then said its a gradual healing process,that what is most important now is for me to show how serious I am by completing the marital stuff.it was at this point I brought out my daughter school fees and other money for their upkeep and gave to her,I then went out to buy other provisions and foodstuff they needed and drove them back to their base.on reaching their base she said I should not bother carrying things upstairs for them that she would call me on phone,that if I insist to carry I can still do so.At this point I didn't bother but drove off to my own base.Later in the evening her parents called me to thank me for all I bought and for the care shown I thanked them back,before I slept their daughter called me to say she just wanted to check on me to know how am doing I said am fine.She also ask me to help subscribe their gotv which I did.
Then this morning I called them to know how they are doing.This afternoon she called to tell me she is done with school for today and going to pay my little daughters fees in her school that some little more money will be needed since she is going to a new class.which I promised her I would send later. House this is how I went.
Did I do well? I stand to be corrected or advised Pls note her parents shed tears cos of the ways I have handled her and all the delay in the marriage stuff yet they were believing in me,that was why I had to apologise knowing fully well we are in Gods presence.And she too said she has forgiven me. Thanks all for anticipated inputs.

frozen70:
You tried so much for the peace talk that lead to reconciliation

Pls bring them back to your home to save excess bills

God will give you directions on how to handle your family

Marriage is a very big task and you won't know until you have challenges

Every home havea challenge but the ability to handle it is what makes yours best

Weldone

Women are the most complex being to deal with but then you can't avoid them

Let peace reign in your heart

baby124:
Thank God you listened to my advice and did not carry your siblings there. It’s better to carry a much older and impartial or respected relative who you confide in. You were also honest this time about the role you played in the breakdown of your marriage. It also turned out she has not been unfaithful. See ya life?

Anyway, goodluck to you both. Try to act more mature and seek correct guidance and mentorship in handling your home. Get a man who has a stable home and fear of God to help you navigate this marriage course because it’s obvious that you need guidance.

The energy you use on womanizing, use it to create wealth. So that by the time you are fully united with your family, things will be a bit comfortable. Use this time she’s busy with school to hustle. When they are back home they will need more of your time and attention.

bluefilm:
And you think some other guy somewhere is not banging and over stretching the fibres of the pussy of the so called better lady you are hoping to settle down with?

The way you kids reason at times really baffle me.

MYDEBBY:
Thanks all for all your support,prayers and counsel,like I did promised I will update the house. We had the meeting inside the church as decided by her parents.after prayers the father asked what is my complaint,I told him exactly what I wrote in my initial post which you all read.The dad asked her if what I said is true she accepted it to be true but also at the same time said I like painting things to suit myself so that people will support me,after saying all I said I then said am done with her too since she first said she is done with me in my initial post. Immediately I said that I then said I will like to take my child.it was at this juncture the dad said I will take my daughter but not now,while the mum said its not possible for me to take her.The mum and dad then started to recant all the abortions and randy(womanizing behaviour),and some negative attitudes I had put up with their daughter which their daughter opened up to them on with tears rolling down the eyes of her parents,herself and myself.It was at this juncture I discovered that being inside church I have done a lot harm to the little girl all these years we have been dating unknowingly to me,my eyes became clear that I knelt down and started to ask God and herself and her parents for forgiveness.They then forgave me and prayed for me and their daughter.After which they asked her if she is still interested in me,she said yes,but that she expected me to keep apologising to her even after she said she is done with me.She also said that if we are to continue I must prove to her by my love and character that we need to start afresh again so as to convince her.The parents then urge her to forgive me and forget that a new beginning and chapter has opened now that as for me I should show am serious by completing marital stuff. After which we prayed and left.
The following morning being sunday,I was called by her Parents in their house it was at this point the scolded their daughter concerning all my complaints,they ask her to be going to church,dress moderately avoid trousers and influence her friends positively instead of allowing her friends influence her negatively.She then agreed to adjust in her ways. Before I left I then asked her once again if she is still interested she said yes and that God is her witness that since she met me she has never slept with any other man.Her parents still asked her the same question if she is still interested she said yes but I would need to build the love I killed in her heart once again.It was at this point the parents then said its a gradual healing process,that what is most important now is for me to show how serious I am by completing the marital stuff.it was at this point I brought out my daughter school fees and other money for their upkeep and gave to her,I then went out to buy other provisions and foodstuff they needed and drove them back to their base.on reaching their base she said I should not bother carrying things upstairs for them that she would call me on phone,that if I insist to carry I can still do so.At this point I didn't bother but drove off to my own base.Later in the evening her parents called me to thank me for all I bought and for the care shown I thanked them back,before I slept their daughter called me to say she just wanted to check on me to know how am doing I said am fine.She also ask me to help subscribe their gotv which I did.
Then this morning I called them to know how they are doing.This afternoon she called to tell me she is done with school for today and going to pay my little daughters fees in her school that some little more money will be needed since she is going to a new class.which I promised her I would send later. House this is how I went.
Did I do well? I stand to be corrected or advised Pls note her parents shed tears cos of the ways I have handled her and all the delay in the marriage stuff yet they were believing in me,that was why I had to apologise knowing fully well we are in Gods presence.And she too said she has forgiven me. Thanks all for anticipated inputs.