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I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House - Family - Nairaland

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I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Kasaliola: 11:28pm On May 19
Good evening house... please I need your help.. if there is any marriage counselor or therapist. This could be lengthy and lot of typo... Please forgive me.. I open a new account for this.

I Am a father of two.. have been dating my wife since 2009, before we got married in 2014. But before the we got married we have been a love birds whereby everybody loves the way we cuddled ourself..

Its started in 2011 before I rented my first apartment, my parents didn't want me to marry her and her parents too, especially her big brother and sisters.. though it caused a lot of commotion then. But thank God they allowed cuz we forcefully told them we are meant for each other, I even speak bad words to my mother then, saying If I don't marry her in ur present I will marry her in her absent, those words hurt so dearly so she has to leave me and go ahead with my plans. And same thing with my wife family.

In 2012 I rented my own apartment and started living me.. I can't forget the very first day I raise my hands on her, I felt ashame of my self.. I don't care what she does or say then.. but I regretted doing so, I cried at the middle of the road cuz I don't know what came over me.

The only problem I have with her is that she swings mood. Always moody everytime and my parents noticed this when they come around and when she went to thier place..
This made me beat her plus the ways she disrespected me.. after doing this shameful thing, I will now come back to my senses and started begging her. I even beat her this Sunday.. all I want is someone to talk to on how I can stop this beating.. how I can tolerate her lifestyle... Am so mad and ashamed of my self.. if help me...

Thank you

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by caesymore(m): 11:46pm On May 19
Hmmmm.

Person wey make you open your mouth waaaaa change am for your mother na she you come dey beat beat like panel beater.

I wonder what someone you highlighted as your better half did to make you raise your hands on her
Well, what so ever she did, just ask yourself the last time you beat yourself for messing up .
With all the issues that whined up before you got married you should and should have disciplined yourself so as for your marriage to work against all odds.

Most times when a Man finally get a woman to fall for him, you now forget how much you longed to get that love she is showing at the moment and that alone evaporates the urge to apply caution when angered by her. Learn to treat your lady the way you did the very first day you decided to approach her, no matter how she runs her mouth never hit her its hard to get a good woman back once you hit her. Women and their mouth are inseparable pair ,they fight with their mouth if you can't learn to use hurtful words back at your Wife ( which mostly you two can apologize and laugh about it later) when she does other than your hand , hmmm then its matter of time before you enter front page for nairaland.

Embrace tolerance for your marriage to work. You can scold your Wife , you can correct her, you can teach her but never beat her up show her tolerance.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by stacyadams: 11:48pm On May 19
Drop ur number..don't beat her ..if u kill her na prison be ur new home, ur children will be orphans over night....always use late singer osinachi as a case study...

Her family was against u marrying her...if u kill her, trust me they will mess u up...people who beat their wives to death never saw it coming...there brain automatically reset in Kiri Kiri...
Learn self control....assuming u kill her. One day ...u will be in person, family members will turn ur kids to house helps...now ask yourself is that the kind of future u want....

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by UpInTheSky: 11:50pm On May 19
Mr. Mayweather-wannabe, perhaps if you spend some time in jail, you will gain some sense and stop being a criminal
She has herself to blame, marrying you despite her family's disapproval, because now she probably can't run to them for help

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Jennyclay(f): 11:54pm On May 19
@kasaliola I don't blame you. I only blame your wife here.

What are some women still doing in an abusive and terrible marriage?? If you claim you're still there because of the children.. If you die through domestic violence your children would still be living thier lives comfortably.

INFACT, your children will hate you in your grave for not absconding from that abusive marriage when you had the chance because they would believe you deliberately rendered them motherless.

Just see how op is beating his wife like he's in a competition with Anthony Joshua. Nawa oo!!

violence against women should be condemned by all means and women should stop believing that a man is going to change. HE CAN NEVER CHANGE!!

I wonder why a man would raise his hands and hit a woman he claims to LOVE. I wish moderators could push this thread to crime section because this man will kill his wife any moment from now oo!!

May God help us all.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by caesymore(m): 12:15am On May 20
Jennyclay:
@kasaliola I don't blame you. I only blame your wife here.

What are some women still doing in an abusive and terrible marriage?? If you claim you're still there because of the children.. If you die through domestic violence your children would still be living thier lives comfortably.

Just see how op is beating his wife like he's in a competition with Anthony Joshua. Nawa oo!!

violence against women should be condemned by all means and women should stop believing that a man is going to change. HE CAN NEVER CHANGE!!

I wonder why a man would raise his hands and hit a woman he claims to LOVE. I wish moderators could push this thread to crime section because this man will kill his wife any moment from now.

God help us all.

Mostly when a guy forgets how many miles he was willing to go just to get the lady. But una mouth dey venomous shaa

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Acidbath: 12:49am On May 20
F00l.

I am sure you look like a beast that's why her people didn't want her to marry you and her eyes have finally opened that's why she is always moody.

You think beating her will suddenly make her start smiling like an 1mbecil£?

You are just a big f00l

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Bebson007(m): 3:36am On May 20
You are always considering the stress, pain and disagreement with your family before you married her. Especially that of your mom's. So any small mistake she makes everything comes back fresh to you and you go physical.
How to stop beating her. Let her go on vacation to her family's or your family place for a month. Then when she's back, overlook all her flaws, admire her. Free your self of every bad flash back or past. Forgive her before she offends you. Buy her gifts unconditional.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by signature2012(m): 3:42am On May 20
Kasaliola:
Good evening house... please I need your help.. if there is any marriage counselor or therapist. This could be lengthy and lot of typo... Please forgive me.. I open a new account for this
Am a father of two.. have been dating my wife since 2009, before we got married in 2014. But before the we got we have been a love birds whereby everybody loves the way we cuddled ourself.. its started in 2011 before I rented my first apt, my parent don't want me to marry her and her parent too especially her big brother and sisters.. though it's cause a lot of commotion then. But thank God they allowed cuz we forcefully told them we are meant for each other, I even speak bad words to my mother then, saying If I don't marry her in ur present I will marry her in her absent, those words hurt so dearly so she has to leave me and go ahead with my plans. And sane thing to my wife family.
In 2012 I rented my own apt and started living me.. I can't forget the very first day I raise my hands on her, I felt ashame of my self.. I don't care what she does or say then.. but I regretted doing so, I cried at the middle of the road cuz I don't know what came over me.
The only problem I have with her is that she swing mood. Always moody everytime and my parent notice this when they come around and when she went to thier place..
This made me beat her plus the ways she disrespected me.. after doing this shameful thing, I will now come back to my senses and started begging her. I even beat her this Sunday.. all I want is someone to talk to on how I can stop this beating.. how I can tolerate her lifestyle... Am so mad and ashamed of my self.. if help me... Thank you

Don’t know what came over me and I beat her….MUMU TALK!
Where is that her elder brother that was against you both getting married?
I would want him to come to your house and deck you with proper beating.

Just drop your contact info let me help you out Ogbeni.
If you stay for guard room for a week,your dumb brain we get proper resetting.

How will you feel if your daughter grows up and get married,and you hear her hubby beating her?

Anytime you both have quarrel,always think of the above sentence.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Mryacks(m): 3:43am On May 20
That's domestic violence on your part...you are trying to justify your actions by saying she has mood swings and all. I thought you saw all these before you areed to be with her? Did you ever speak about it with her and tried to work it out?

Pls stop beating her before it gets out of her hand. Try to tolerate and help her "change" since that's the burden you have to contend with. Aferall, you even went against ur family's advice according to you to be with her.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by sisisioge: 5:20am On May 20
Wahala just dey wear Prada anyhow! You dey beat her and still dey complain about her unhappy moods....chai! May God move wahala far from us o....hian! Poor girl.....she surely didnt think it would be nice to be married to a wife beater! Whew!

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by baby124: 5:34am On May 20
I am sure you have a madam at work. When she deals with you, beat her ehn? Maybe the result of such beating will clear your head.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Eketem: 6:33am On May 20
You are lucky you have not been arrested and jailed for beating her yet.

Government is no longer playing with such cases.

So the good part is you realise the problem, the next part is to unlearn violence as a form of conflict resolution.
Why is raising your hands the first step you take when you have a disagreement? Is that how you were raised?

You have to unlearn that and learn more effective ways to resolve issues.

Have you tried speaking with her, not shouting at her ohhh, taking her to a public place relaxed atmosphere maybe a garden and asking her what the problem is with your parents.

Know if there was something else that was done to hurt her.

Also host a meeting with your own family, let them know your wife is part of you and any respect they give you they should also give her, she too should respect them as she respects you.

The next time you beat her I assure you that you will go to jail..it should never be an option.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by nnamdiosu(m): 7:03am On May 20
Kasaliola:
Good evening house... please I need your help.. if there is any marriage counselor or therapist. This could be lengthy and lot of typo... Please forgive me.. I open a new account for this
Am a father of two.. have been dating my wife since 2009, before we got married in 2014. But before the we got we have been a love birds whereby everybody loves the way we cuddled ourself.. its started in 2011 before I rented my first apt, my parent don't want me to marry her and her parent too especially her big brother and sisters.. though it's cause a lot of commotion then. But thank God they allowed cuz we forcefully told them we are meant for each other, I even speak bad words to my mother then, saying If I don't marry her in ur present I will marry her in her absent, those words hurt so dearly so she has to leave me and go ahead with my plans. And sane thing to my wife family.
In 2012 I rented my own apt and started living me.. I can't forget the very first day I raise my hands on her, I felt ashame of my self.. I don't care what she does or say then.. but I regretted doing so, I cried at the middle of the road cuz I don't know what came over me.
The only problem I have with her is that she swing mood. Always moody everytime and my parent notice this when they come around and when she went to thier place..
This made me beat her plus the ways she disrespected me.. after doing this shameful thing, I will now come back to my senses and started begging her. I even beat her this Sunday.. all I want is someone to talk to on how I can stop this beating.. how I can tolerate her lifestyle... Am so mad and ashamed of my self.. if help me... Thank you

knowing you have a problem, and being humble to ask for solution is the first step to redemption.

ignore the comments of condemnation people have typed to you. you've made a very great mistake, but becos of your willingness to change, God will help you.
you need help and admitted to your mistakes. that's the first step.

pm me.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Jennyclay(f): 7:19am On May 20
caesymore:


Mostly when a guy forgets how many miles he was willing to go just to get the lady. But una mouth dey venomous shaa
Does that justify his actions? Abi are you also a woman beater??

Woman beater!!!!

12 Likes

Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by RightToReject(m): 7:19am On May 20
Chastising yourself as you've done is good and that is the only part you can play alone to nip the ugly occurrence in the bud; refraining from the same action will be better but it requires collective conscious decision and efforts from you and her to bring the desire to fruition; and wrecking yourself shouldn't be an option - neither wreck yourself nor allow anyone to wreck you - else, you will become desolate perpetually.

Since action breeds reaction, it behooves on the two of you to sit up by striving to be of considerate behaviours towards each other in the union.

Abuse, just like force, isn't always about physical; therefore, no to any form of abuse.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by caesymore(m): 7:54am On May 20
Jennyclay:
Does that justify his actions? Abi are you also a woman beater??

Woman beater!!!!

I wonder what you really wana achieve twisting a comment. You deserve to be beaten. Well, baby girl today is your lucky day you met a guy that scolds but don't beat.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Jennyclay(f): 7:55am On May 20
caesymore:


I wonder what you really wana achieve twisting a comment. You deserve to be beaten. Well, baby girl today is your lucky day you met a guy that scolds but don't beat.
Woman beater!!!!!!

2 Likes

Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by caesymore(m): 8:02am On May 20
Jennyclay:
Woman beater!!!!!!

Venomous mouthed Jennyclay grin

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by ImaIma1(f): 8:36am On May 20
Ask her what is causing her moodiness. Is she having regrets that after fighting for you both to be together, it is one chance she entered?

One day you might get back and she is gone with the kids. Then, you will need to explain to everyone how you have turned her to your personal punching bag.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Richy4(m): 8:50am On May 20
Someone recognised his shortcomings, asked for help,.. and people were insulting him... Does that really make sense in any way?

He genuinely needed help because he's tired of becoming the beast.. he wanted the beast in him tamed...He needed positive results in his marriage and wants his wife happy again.. What will the insult do to salvage the situations at hand?..

It's just like a kid that told an adult that he's tired of failing his exams..
Instead of helping the kid based on his request, The adult goes off key saying things like... How can u keep on failing,.. mathematics F, English F.. chemistry and physics F are u not tired... There are boys in your class whom u were older than, yet they were excelling...

Now, how does that help the boy?.. insulting this man will not solve anything... Show him where to go if u know... Direct him to any good therapist that u know or an anger management class organiser that you know in Nigeria... Please slow down with the insult.. he's already pissing and beaten himself up already..

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by lilyheaven: 8:57am On May 20
you don't really want to beat her, but you see yourself doing it.
it is a sign of mental disorder. ( bipolar )
you have to visit a psychiatrist , you will be given a medication that will help you control your hormone.
okay .

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Shidda: 9:31am On May 20
Kasaliola:
Good evening house... please I need your help.. if there is any marriage counselor or therapist. This could be lengthy and lot of typo... Please forgive me.. I open a new account for this
........................................................ how I can tolerate her lifestyle... Am so mad and ashamed of my self.. if help me... Thank you
It's too bad over people only know how to make someone feel worse. Sadly, everyone makes mistakes, some big and some small. What's important is correcting it, and you show you are ready to. It seems her negative attitude affects you and you react violently before you realise it. The extent of your remorse shows you can't control it, moreover, it sounds like it builds up and you vent your fustration by hitting her. It doesn't have to be so, you can be more in control, address the root cause and learn to be stronger emotionally. I believe i can help you, contact me if you're interested.

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by BItt: 10:05am On May 20
The two of you need counseling, not just you.
You know she has mood swings, try and leave the house whenever she starts her trouble.
since you've been together since 2009, you should have learnt a few things about her

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Richy4(m): 11:16am On May 20
ImaIma1:
Ask her what is causing her moodiness. Is she having regrets that after fighting for you both to be together, it is one chance she entered?

One day you might get back and she is gone with the kids. Then, you will need to explain to everyone how you have turned her to your personal punching bag.

@ bold, I guess he's no longer the man she married.. the one she was willing to fight all her family members for just to be with due to the beast in him..OP knows this and I think he is playing with our intelligence if he act like he doesn't know

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Saifullah01: 11:24am On May 20
First of all go and beg your mom for forgiveness. Then secondly humble yourself and ask her for advice and guidance. Trust me she moulded you to whatever you are today and she nows you better. Not because she knows what you are capable of, but also why you are capable of those things...

Have a heart to heart discussion with your mom

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by ImaIma1(f): 11:55am On May 20
Richy4:


@ bold, I guess he's no longer the man she married.. the one she was willing to fight all her family members for just to be with due to the beast in him..OP knows this and I think he is playing with our intelligence if he act like he doesn't know

Exactly!

If she has always been a moody person, he saw it and married her that way, and should try to manage it. But if she became moody after they got married, it could be some events that have happened in the marriage that caused it. He needs to address this and stop acting clueless.

Cc Kasaliola

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Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Rilwayne001: 12:00pm On May 20
shocked
Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Tbbt8: 12:00pm On May 20
Interesting
Re: I Need Help.... Marriage Counselor In The House by Segkem2013(m): 12:00pm On May 20
For me, I don't think you respect her. You might have feelings for your wife and still disrespect her. Women naturally are provocative even on the road but you need to learn to respect them by not hitting them. If you respect her, you wouldn't want to see her cry or in pains. Talk to her and find out what brings about her mood swings which often gets you provoked and see how you can help her get out of it.

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