Sorry about this!! it hurts I know
Take this as a piece of advice from your hubby's perception
I had done this a few times to my gf before I realised it myself that it was childish , Some people always need to be left alone to heal when hurt or to cool off when angry...depends on whichever way they feel at that moment., hence, they might want you to leave or they leave themselves.
Find a way to show your displeasure probably by talking to him, let him know its humiliating to you and selfdisrespecting to him. Then envelope your words with a subtle threat, that you will never come back when next that happens. And when next he says 'leave', tell him 'Coman carry me', see na werey dey do this marriage of a thing o...you go show small werey too. I'm sure he will stop if he values you!!
Trust me deep down he never wanted you to leave in any of those quarrels, na ego to say oya come back dey disturb am.

Zhuhilat:
It is very easy to say stay, work on it, watch war room. Nobody knows how it feels LITERALLY.
. It is well.

Thanks for the Advice or constructive criticism, I appreciate.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

What does the bible says.....

Another prostitute in the making. Probably you started problem to get closer to another dick.

Off you go......go try another dick and start counting

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

1. Your Mother should on no circumstance voluntarily give anything which your husbands is capable of buying i.e foods stuffs.
2. Keep yourself busy: work or go back to school.
3. Stop giving too much attention to your husband (personally i dont like too much attention)
4. Review your marital relationship weekly then monthly so that u can find flaws in it.

I want to quickly ask you few questions madam.
Is your family a christian home?
did you and your husband go to church?
Do you pray together ?
If no to the above question there is a problem.
I want you to know that marriage is more spiritual , devil is not happy so he find a means to ensure it does not work.
My advice for you is to invite God into your family, always pray for your husband.Above all never use any word your husband said against you and dont think of leaving or think of divorce . God hate divorce. I pray God restore your home.

happney65:
Your husband is a weeree guy and he should be locked up at aro or taken to a church make them beat his weere comot..He dey vex He dey vex,He vex so tey he no buy your child food all because he dey vex..He dey vex,He comot house 12AM.If Ritualits come cut his head comot nko?
Which kain wayree man be that?small thing,comot dey go..leave my house..Am sure he grew up in a family where the father is feared and treated like a Demi god..

Divorce the murdafucccker,nothing more,nothing else

By the way,Is he also a Buharists?cos na Buharists dey reason that way..

Baba werey niyin sir. Shey Buhari dey comot house for 12am ni?

Pavarottii:

Good u said u don't need her dime... But I smell lies all over ur post tho...

lol [img]https://media1./images/a724baedd3ea6c3c14a4dfc5ed4c9b46/tenor.gif[/img]

omonikiba:
My granma sends me garri, dry pepper, oil from village, oh, let me not forget she sends yam and plantain too, even melon. Mama can send the whole village if possible.

My hubby enjoys it now. Initialy, he wasn't comfortable with it, I told him mama do that to all her children and am not an exception. She cant travel to your house empty handed, never.

What we do is we give her money in return, there are times i send her money to get me oil. Not an insult at all. All caring mothers do this and it's not because they want to disrespect you. The only thing is give them the cash, more cash to cover the food stuffs and more, buy them cloths and things you know they need. Chikena.

On arguing, you guys are still new, stop running upandan. My hubby n I argued alot when we newly got married. I had to learn to laugh when he start, when I start my own he goes to bed because we never liked the way we argued. You both are still in that 'know me know' you period.

You want to look out, no good man out there ooo, forget getting love outside. Build your home.

Plenty likes for you ma.
You're real and sincere.

I think you guys can work this out. As much as we do not have full details of what happens everyday between you both. Please do not talk back at him when he is talking and saying those hurtful words. Let him feel or know that he is still the head of the house.
When he is done, you can make your points calmly to him. He will reciprocate the respect!
Men have unnecessary egos, that's all part of them and needs to be massaged and when done properly you will have him under your control in a constructive way though. Make him to understand you and the baby look up to him for guidance .
Please do not give in to the attention you are craving outside, that is a recipe for disaster.

Adaeze Yobo gave a great marriage advice recently on her social media page: ‘sometimes, you just have to swallow your own ego as a woman to make your marriage work. There are times when emotions are high and my husband is about to say nasty things, I just hurriedly tell him that I have to go to the toilet. I will take an hour or two in there to calm down and get my head into something else. By the time I’m out, he’s also forgotten and we end up laughing and staying one.’

No marriage is perfect. Even if you go to another man, do you know who he truly is and what he will also do in the future?

Hamachi:
Are you married?

yes for 5years now with kids

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

Madam u no go tell us the bad words wey tell the man ooh...na only the one wey he tell u u go talk for here.... Women self

Two things involved.
1. Its either your hubby is a completed azzhole. (Sorry to say) or
2. You are making life so miserable for that man but you aren't telling the truth cos you want sympathy.

Ma, can I ask you a question? Not relating to what you said sha.... what do you do for work ? Cause relating to that word he usually say " you are of no importance " have heard it so many times when my neighbor tell his wife ..... there was a day my neighbor wife called her husband who was at work to buy JUST one exercise book to their kids and the reply from the husband was HELL

Bryan88:
OCTO-PUSSY?
UR OWN BAD O...

Read my signature...

Madam just take it easy.Marriage is not as sweet as when viewed from a distance.Every marriage has its ups and downs.One of my friends once called the inlaws to return the bride price he paid for their daughter but today they are still together.Look for a marriage councillor or someone he respects and tell them about it.Please where you want to run to may not be the best at the long run.Courting or boy/girl friend stuff is different from marriage.In marriage there is bordom but understand it is marriage ,because when you leave it for another one, bordom will still set in

Octopusssy:

Read my signature...

WHAT HAS UR SIGNATURE GOT TO DO WITH UR NAME?

you married a boy n not a man o...
marriage no b by force o... ur daughter will understand this someday... these kids are smart...
when I was younger I used to think it was my dad's fault that him n mum never lived together.....but as I grew older I realised it was my mums financial independency that made her not to need a man in her life

Hamachi:
Am afraid your spouse is still a boy. His circle of friends also matters in this case as their ways and talks around him has great influence on how he treats you. I wouldn't advise you to leave though but under this circumstance, giving each other time apart is often the best. Go to your moms and spend time while he feels that emptiness and watch him come around but with him begging never to use such demeaning phrase again.

Is that how you were raised, do you even know the number of times couples fight in there lifetime ... for how long will he come begging.
There is no perfect marriage anywhere, these as nothing to do with sentiment, only a woman can build a home, men are not as difficult as women think ... if only they can just take there time out to study there man. men are door buh we get key

Madam, the solution is with you already, STOP ARGUING WITH YOUR HUSBAND, men generally don't like women who challenge their stand.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

There is a very good chance that he is cheating and feeling guilty about it. Ask him directly about it, but in a non-confrontational and non-judgmental manner.

To me ooo, I can see the man has ego issue! Innocent foodstuffs presented by his in-law became a problem for him. He failed to see the love behind such act rather he felt slighted..he doesn't want to be seen as patronizing cheap stuff especially by his in-laws ...lol!
Again his constant remark that you added nothing to his life... hmmm, he is not comfortable that you are earning your own money, probably because you are keeping and managing your salary by yourself.. believe me his intention would have been you surrender your all and all to him oo, that way he will feel like the man completely. But don't do that ooo because you will feel caged at the end.

Chapter1vs6:
I think people should be atleast above 29 or 30 before they offer relationship advice that deals with marriage or divorce
I am starting to go through some people urging for divorce and I am truly amazed

I might not know about marriage. I'm just giving her an advice I would give to my sister or relative. She said he has done it 5 TIMES!!! Come on that's disturbing

You see this your statement is the reason many marriages are crashing, its not a woman who builds a home, its both parties. If a man and wife doesn't agree to make a marriage work, then it won't. One person doesn't carry a relationship successfully. If the woman study's her man, the man should equally study his wife..it takes two to tango. Ask men who have happy and fulfilling homes, ask them their secret. Not just being married for the sake of it and the kids, I mean being happy in your marriage.

ericsmith:





Is that how you were raised, do you even know the number of times couples fight in there lifetime ... for how long will he come begging.
There is no perfect marriage anywhere, these as nothing to do with sentiment, only a woman can build a home, men are not as difficult as women think ... if only they can just take there time out to study there man. men are door buh we get key

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

My dear Sister, please leave the man for a while even though you still want the marriage. No one, I repeat no one! Should endure this level of disrespect! I had a man once, I had more money than him and he knew this, we had a good relationship for a while. Then it began...he started ranting bout small issues, how I wear expensive shirts, buying shoes of 28k and all, how I don't know how to cook anymore, how I call my dad always, how im totally useless in our home, petty complaints. I didn't understand it. I have always dressed well, called my dad and cooked, so what changed? I never for once made him feel unwanted or less of a man, I instructed my bank to send him 30% of my pay monthly so that he won't feel I was dashing him money, I took care of the food and his family but he still wont respect me. So I left him. Didn't look back. After a couple of months and a lot of soul searching, I realized he was just jealous of me. His life was stagnant and I always came home with news of promotion and all, he couldn't handle my success and I was blind to his growing insecurity. Guess who put everything into perspective for me? My dad!

He analysed the problems and arguments from a man's perspective and then told me that I could have behaved better if understood but he told me not to go back. My dad made me understand that its not a woman's place to add value to a man's life. Your job is to help him add value to his life! If he is not willing to work on the marriage alongside you pls leave him. And don't for once think that he was speaking out of turns or in anger when he says he doesn't need you or that u don't add value to his life...he means it! Just like that my ex he is still struggling with putting his life together and until he can achieve this he doesn't need a wife even though he needs a woman by default. You can help him but not if he insists he doesn't need your help. Listen to your dad, take care of your life and your son! Travel or take a new course if you can afford this. Please leave for a period to let both of your consider your lives when you are apart and together, only then can you choose which is better.

deltateam:


If you wish to continue the marriage. Just know you have to avoid arguments. He's unreliable, unrealistic, ego centric and arrogant.

Exactly what I wanted to say. Madam ur husband like most men can't handle ur arguments. stop the arguments n proving ur point every time.
Be more submissive n this bad side of his will disappear. He doesn't mean it but it repeated because it mayb the only thing he says that put u back to ur senses.
Pls invest in ur home n don't fear because no one is kicking u out.

If you ever leave next time. Don’t come back until he begs you to.
But I will say do not leave at all except violence is involved.
Instead let him leave. He will come back on his own. And when he does. Have a heart to heart discussion with him

ahahnow:
I think you should leave. His apologies are not genuine. He is too immature. Don't have kids with him and leave him for good before he decides to start beating you. Men are stupid

I think you're right!

You father was stupid enough not to have used a condom for the copulation that brought about a stupid seed.

Your background is very faulty.
You need serious emotional and psychological healing asap.

if most people go into marriage with this kind of mindset i’m reading through most of the comments sir , then the road is shaky

Khaleell001:


Thank you sir.
This is why I think too may immature people are getting married these days.
I particularly hate it when you leave your people and elders at home who know you well enough and bring your marital issues before total strangers who do not know you, your husband or who you are, to consult or comment on your marital life.

People should stop bringing their marital issue here it's really nauseating it reading issues like these everytime.

Just read through the comments you will see those who are not even normal, abnormal, crazy, bad and some who are even just totally off the rails and you think any normal human being can get something reasonable from these comments without getting confused?

LOMBARDY:

Pls Goan sit down...I know someone will come here and blame the lady!
Is she not human? Why must the husband be treating her like garbage if he doesn't f*ck outside?
This is the 5th time she left and returned..that shows she is trying to make it work despite zero efforts from the husband.
Nigerian husband's like feeling like a god at the time. How can he leave the house by 12pm without quantitative explanation to his together forever whilst she is still struggling to feed the baby?

Thank you for this response. I have a friend that the husband started like this and everyone kept blaming the woman now it has led to him neglecting his kids no feeding allowance again no payment of fees even his family members are now advising her to move on seek her own happiness that they now see the truth. But must we allow it get to this extent?

Lionpikin:
That's what I thought too, probably the guy isn't ready for marriage but the op used pregnancy to force him ...they are both sounding like kids

You thought what too?

How did you get that she tied him down with pregnancy from my post? I'm curious to know

BitmapStudios:

Baba werey niyin sir. Shey Buhari dey comot house for 12am ni?

Yes naa,You no know?Person wey comot house for over 3months wey we no know where he dey.