₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: RegisterLoginWith GoogleTrendingRecentNew

Stats: 3,327,174 members, 8,429,638 topics. Date: Friday, 19 June 2026 at 08:52 AM

Toggle theme

My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice - Family (10) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyMy Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice (42931 Views)

1 2 3 ... 7 8 9 10 11 12 Reply (Go Down)

Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Rajman45(m): 11:50am On Nov 07, 2019
babyfaceafrica:
you too noticed abi?..we all should stop fooling ourselves, no money,no happy marriage..love died a long time ago!!
True talk
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Rajman45(m): 11:51am On Nov 07, 2019
Frankiss44:
Women for you.. When the politics money pays once in a while, they will flex the money and forget it doesn't come often.. The. Begin to tell oga word when money don dry.. Some go even lock their toto say no money no sex like prostitute... My Boss in the office use to say a man will run the home for years with issues, without anybody hearing stories but the moment the source of income drops and the woman takes over the running of the house for 2 weeks, everybody, even the meat seller at the market will know how insensitive how husband is
Women mata tire person
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by pocohantas(f): 11:54am On Nov 07, 2019
ornicus:
Grass to grave. That autocorrect tho cheesy
Lol. The v is close to the c. My mistake, not poor autocorrect. cheesy
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Nobody: 11:55am On Nov 07, 2019
airminem:
Inspire him. Stay close to him. Keep making him feel like the good old days you both started in high spirit. I bet he will always want to make you happy and make the family proud. DO NOT TALK HIM DOWN. DO NOT TALK HIM DOWN WOMAN!
There are wise woman and there are foolish... She supposed to even be grateful that the guy hasn't absconded and leave her to continue push the family loads until their Childrenhave graduated..
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by nicedayontop: 11:56am On Nov 07, 2019
Another sensible comment sighted
Aparche:
And we are wondering why our politicians are corrupt...a man that has no job, no business, can hardly take care of his home has made politics his hope & is busy day dreaming on becoming rich one day through politics. If this one eventually gets an appointment; all the monies that mistakenly come to his table are in trouble. shocked
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Prettyjanet1: 11:56am On Nov 07, 2019
studentofTruth:
I posted that when I was eating and couldn't type much. I have updated the post, please go and read it again. In fact, see it here:

The purchasing power of the money drops by the day — @12% inflation rate, the 3m will be worth less than 200k in 30 years.

The 100k rent may be going at more than 1.5m in that 30 years

A a good landed ppty at 3m may be worth over 30m in that 30years

While it doesn't make sense for someone without a stable income to engage in a property project, don't make it sound like it's better to be paying 5m per annum in a rented apartment in Lekki (just to answer a Lekki resident) than to own a good house on the mainland.

You haven't even talked about businesses that fail. Most new businesses fail, so rushing to set up a business just because there's fund may be a disaster, if the person doesn't know everything about the business.

As regards Tbills, the rate is always a little below inflation rate, so it's still losing money in the long run. TB is a good way to temporarily reduce the effects of inflation on your bulk money before you find the right channel to invest it, and believe me, in a developing country like Nigeria where the cities are still developing, a good landed ppty outperforms most businesses.

No doubt, for someone who has a good scalable business with a great profit margin, investing in the business will pay more, but it's not everyone that has such opportunities.

Now, if I may ask, which profitable business (with low risk) do you think someone a can set up with 1m?
God bless you sir. Everything is not bout starting a business, new businesses crumble at times.

The project embarked on is never a bad idea. Afterall, d project no dey chop for where e dey. If they had use the money to invest in a business and it crumbles, what will they do?

You both should not sell the house. There is always a light at the end of a tunnel.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by PrimadonnaO(f): 11:58am On Nov 07, 2019
Acidosis:
It is NOT going to pay off on the short or long run. Not having a job and not being able to pay rent is more than enough reason to avoid spending all resources on a building project. Many of our aged parents made this mistake. A lot of them died poor with nothing. Only the children benefited at the end of the day by selling off the property.

Landlord harassment is not enough to provoke one into building a personal apartment. That anger should make you work harder to pay your rent, not spend what you don't have raising a shanty house.

The desire to raise one's income should supercede the desire to "lower" expenditure/expenses.

How can you even lower expenses by spending so much on a personal house?

Do a quick calculation;

Annual rent = N100k

Personal apartment/land = N2-3m (in a small town)

What's the sense in the above? 3m is rent for 30 years (assumed 0 inflation). Add 30 to your current age and tell me what you have.

That 3m in mutual funds, or a risk-free investment like TBills will yield at least 350k annually with 0 work. From that, you pay your rent easily, and increase your networth in a sporadic manner over a very short timeframe.
Wait first nau. Calm down. First ask them where they live... state and type of house.

I'm assuming it's at least a two-bedroom apartment since they have kids. And I'm hoping it's not Lagos... and not on the island.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by kevoh(m): 11:58am On Nov 07, 2019
tonididdy:
Get a house bro... Na money nor dey make some people dey say beer is bitter.
Lol ..I have my own house that I pay mortgage and live in with my wife and kids. I will complete payment by 2026. grin That's six years from now! Planning to purchase another land or key into any other government housing scheme that's available and put that one on rent. grin

tonididdy:
Brother even in the next 100yrs Nigeria cannot completely occupy its greenery.
This your stats funny well well. grin It's not even a case of just greenery. An imbalanced ecosystem is recipe for disaster, whether 1 year from now or 1000 years from now.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by ibkayee(f): 11:59am On Nov 07, 2019
pocohantas:
Lol. The v is close to the c. My mistake, not poor autocorrect. cheesy
ornicus:
Grass to grave. That autocorrect tho cheesy
Lmao God forbid
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by SOPWRITER1: 12:01pm On Nov 07, 2019
Acidosis:
He collected all your savings to add to a project (a personal apartment??).

I don't understand why people rush to build apartments. It is absolutely needless when you still struggle to meet your basic needs.

Advise your husband to;

1) Quit daydreaming about a juicy political offer. This venture never ends well when you don't have a job/business, trade, skill, etc. After 4 or 8 years of tasting little money as a counselor or special adviser (assuming he gets the offer), the situation will get worse. I've seen too many examples.

2) Sell off the uncompleted project.

3) Use the proceeds of the sales for business (this should be your focus and priority).

A house project won't put food on your table. A lot of Nigerians make this mistake. The urge to be called a landlord push many into shanty houses that ordinarily should be left for poultry and pig farming.

There's so much ignorance in the land. Tenancy is not bondage. Stop attending churches where tenants are demonized. There's no glory in being a broke landlord. Remain where you are and divert your money to a productive venture. That's how to grow. Your personal apartment may help you save a little (assuming you pay a lot on rent) but it won't put N1 on your table.


N.B: Please ignore the above if my interpretation of "project" differs.
@Uchechi20, don't sell your house. I repeat, do not sell that house. You will end up losing it all after making your first year payment to your new landlord. You can only consider the quoted advice if you have a perfect business plan.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by SOPWRITER1: 12:04pm On Nov 07, 2019
PrimadonnaO:
Wait first nau. Calm down. First ask them where they live... state and type of house.

I'm assuming it's at least a two-bedroom apartment since they have kids. And I'm hoping it's not Lagos... and not on the island.
The poster is not realistic in anyway, not without details before rendering advice.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Mursz: 12:05pm On Nov 07, 2019
Gforce2015:
Can you imagine? My broke husband...
Some of our ladies are just bunch of gold-diggers... If we hear from the man side of story , we might even discovered that it's a different story entirely... Why are ladies like this? I'm sure she married him went and because things were Rosy... The moment the guy is having financial challenges , she came to nairaland and started typing ; my broke husband ... Knowing fully well that ladies of like-minded will support her.

Some imp called wife should be discarded asapy
The thing self weak me.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by pocohantas(f): 12:05pm On Nov 07, 2019
ibkayee:
Lmao God forbid
Pretty close and easier to achieve. The grass to grave I mean. grin grin
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by nicedayontop: 12:08pm On Nov 07, 2019
let him abscond now. a dead person is better than him.
Gforce2015:
There are wise woman and there are foolish... She supposed to even be grateful that the guy hasn't absconded and leave her to continue push the family loads until their Childrenhave graduated..
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Kamsichime(m): 12:11pm On Nov 07, 2019
U ar a virtous woman keep doing all d good tins don't relent God will turn tins around soon. In my denomination part of d marriage vow u take is "do U trust d unknown abt ur spouse"response is yes.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Nobody: 12:11pm On Nov 07, 2019
ibkayee:
Lmao God forbid
Insert lecherous stalky old man mode

What v and c are you wenches talking in code about here? tongue

Mode disabled

This is naija sadly. Plenty grass to grave in your face every day. My first job, there was this place round the corner a mama put where some of use went to eat. That was how one of us went , came back and told us that a task force came to close the place down. A patron challenged them, and a foolish trigger happy Mopol killed him. You leave your office for 10 mins to eat rice and beans and you get killed. As in, it could have been me, esp as I stubborn small back then. That time when one of my tried and trusted strategies of saving money was not ordering meat with anything I ate. cheesy
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Nobody: 12:15pm On Nov 07, 2019
Mutemenot:
Most politicians started that way, it's always boy boy at the beginning. Don't give up Okay, just manage him however he is, believe me he will hammer like a yahoo guy someday ....
dont allow the situation cause wahala ok
most? They is no guarantee he will make it in politics. It's always good to have something on going so if you fail or loose elections you have where to fall back.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by SarkinYarki: 12:18pm On Nov 07, 2019
Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.
You people stop marrying when you have no steady game or source of income , that will only breed hate
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Ghidey(m): 12:19pm On Nov 07, 2019
Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.
You mentioned project. is the pr9ject an investment to fetch you viable income? Or it's just a house project if it's house project I advise you suspend it till you have enough to continue. house will not put food on your table and you won't eat blocks. use the money for a viable business.
having hope on politics without any other business or source of income is for the hopeless and lazy people. We see politics as quick rich. he should have something doing while he's hopeful on politics. put heads together and try raise some money for a trade or business to take care of your immediate needs.
You 're free to talk to me and I share my experience after I resigned from a job and my wife wasn't doing anything. but we started a very viable business for her while I pursue other business lines and now I have included her line of business into mine.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by mildflame: 12:21pm On Nov 07, 2019
Thank God u got a rough over you head 4now 4get about ur husband and stay focus with the kid, plz don't get pregnant yet just do everything to stay alive coz me I don see very hopeless politician turning moneybags overnight
Endure for the sake of the kids as long as there is no physical abuse
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by nicedayontop: 12:26pm On Nov 07, 2019
I am so baffled hearing some advising them to sell the project in order to invest in business. Do you know the real value of the project in 10 or 20 years time. Investing in a business does not guarantee quick returns as many people expect it these days. What is yours is yours . There are many uncertainties and risks involved in business. If you have lived with landlords and tenants who are troublesome. You will prefer to live in a container that belongs to you even with empty stomach than live in a rented house. Remember retirement age is coming for everybody and running after business will be difficult. Have a roof over your head at old age. The man and the woman should just try and get jobs so that they can complete their project and take good care of their children.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Bostin(m): 12:29pm On Nov 07, 2019
@Op let me tell you this bitter truth, you're a big problem in your marriage and you could destroy it anytime soon. For you to have come on public forum and described your husband as a broke insensitive person makes you unmannered and rude. Why called him broke and not financially challenged husband , remember he's your husband with children and not boyfriend. You only bragged how you took up the responsibilities in his present difficult time and reduced him to nothing , but you failed to say or appreciate what he has done in the past from the start when things was rosy. You think any man will be happy to be in such situation,have you forgotten nothing last forever. Your calling him names and disrespectful could break your marriage and you may not be part of his success story when he rise up again . I have a politician uncle like that , his wife fed him and children for four years , now Uncle just completed a 15m house with two cars at a time . So madam when you're enduring , respect him and pray for him with Love . God bless your home .
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Sanchez01: 12:29pm On Nov 07, 2019
Efewestern:
Oniovo I wanted to counter him, but I saw your comment, couldn't have said it better. Dude is delusional, to think he got a that many likes shows people never learn.

He keeps talking of business as if their is 100% guarantee that the business won't collapse, to even think he advised them to sell their project says a lot about him.
Oniovo, the kind of things I read on here, no doubt, can make the devil mad! Dude is not even married and he keeps talking shanties. He forgot that in the process of raising a family, tendencies are that priorities and needs will multiply, particularly when the kids start coming.

There are hundreds of thousands of entrepreneurs who, though invested in their businesses, ended up wailing and gnashing their teeth. The entrepreneurial life is difficult and not easy as many see it and several factors will play out that will destroy or threaten one's business.

These guys haven't seen life yet they counsel others from an angle they know nothing about.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by lereinter(m): 12:31pm On Nov 07, 2019
Broke family and still doing project
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by tonididdy(m): 12:33pm On Nov 07, 2019
kevoh:
Lol ..I have my own house that I pay mortgage and live in with my wife and kids. I will complete payment by 2026. grin That's six years from now! Planning to purchase another land or key into any other government housing scheme that's available and put that one on rent. grin


This your stats funny well well. grin It's not even a case of just greenery. An imbalanced ecosystem is recipe for disaster, whether 1 year from now or 1000 years from now.
Haaaa.... I knew you was a wise man grin
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by ceeceeuwa: 12:38pm On Nov 07, 2019
Sanchez01:
So many of your angles are wrong!

Rent accounts for over 50% of the problems in marriage. In a country where the average Joe barely earns 100k monthly, breaking the barrier of rent is like winning a jackpot. And if you think becoming a broke landlord is insane, wait till you get overwhelmed by financial demands in another man's house while your rent due date edge closer.

Most people think venturing into a business automatically translates to steady inflow. What you don't realize is that mishaps are very common with personal businesses and just one would have been a problem in another man's house as you'd need to secure loans or borrow to temporarily stay afloat. Typical business folks who mostly survive this ugly phase often go as far as selling other stuff they own to stay alive in business. It is not the same with people who don't have other money raising properties to fall back to when things get ugly.

My family stopped paying rent in Lagos since 1999 and growing up, there were moments when money would be scarce but the single thought of not worrying about paying rent eased so many things.

Plus while you brazenly suggest they sell off the property, you failed to ask what state it is situated, which should have been your major concern before going further to talk about whether or not the move was wise.

I think we all should learn to put 'just my opinion' after suggesting some things in this section so that we don't end up destroying lives in the name of counseling. Opinions are opinions and some, if not most are somewhat dangerous.

As unwise as you think the move is, I'd advise you invest your last penny in a landed property and conveniently add swag to soaking your Cassava flakes in your own property, after developing it to a reasonable extent.
Best advice ever! I am sure he has never been harassed by a landlord before and his properties thrown out... he would appreciate staying even in his personal uncompleted building. Personal property pays off even in old age when you are too weak to hustle.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Acidosis(m): 12:43pm On Nov 07, 2019
studentofTruth:
I posted that when I was eating and couldn't type much. I have updated the post, please go and read it again. In fact, see it here:

The purchasing power of the money drops by the day — @12% inflation rate, the 3m will be worth less than 200k in 30 years.
You're increasing the value of inflation but you failed to increase the value of investment. Do you make money and bury in the ground. The reason people pump all their life savings building shanty homes in the first place is because of fear and ignorance. Inflation rate is 12%, so is the current rate of Treasury Bills and mutual funds. Some investments like Agrictech, a few FD even gets you as high as 20% (that's 8% above inflation).

This analogy already nullifies your argument. Money is not to be buried in the ground.

The 100k rent may be going at more than 1.5m in that 30 years

A a good landed ppty at 3m may be worth over 30m in that 30years
Just 30m? Bro use a Treasury bIlls calculator online to find the true yield of 3m in 30 years @12% annual interest rate.

You have N89m flat!

While it doesn't make sense for someone without a stable income to engage in a property project, don't make it sound like it's better to be paying 5m per annum in a rented apartment in Lekki (just to answer a Lekki resident) than to own a good house on the mainland.

You haven't even talked about businesses that fail. Most new businesses fail, so rushing to set up a business just because there's fund may be a disaster, if the person doesn't know everything about the business.
All these does not justify building a home when you don't have a job or business. There are risks everywhere. Homes get demolished everyday, most get flooded because owners run to creeks in the name of buying cheap land. Some even build on government acquired land and can barely afford the cost of a proper and registered survey/title. Let's not talk about the quality of many homes in Nigeria.

As regards Tbills, the rate is always a little below inflation rate, so it's still losing money in the long run. TB is a good way to temporarily reduce the effects of inflation on your bulk money before you find the right channel to invest it, and believe me, in a developing country like Nigeria where the cities are still developing, a good landed ppty outperforms most businesses.
Property as an investment differs from property to become a landlord. Most Nigerians can't put their homes for sale because of generational ignorance and fear of what people will say. Some will rather die than sell their properties to make more money or improve their living conditions.

No doubt, for someone who has a good scalable business with a great profit margin, investing in the business will pay more, but it's not everyone that has such opportunities.
Everyone without a job or good income must desire a good business. It is a MUST.

Now, if I may ask, which profitable business (with low risk) do you think someone a can set up with 1m?
Let's have this discussion on business section.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by bogdaddy(m): 12:45pm On Nov 07, 2019
For coming out here to explain this write up shows that you weren’t trained at home. Are we your Olori Ebi or what huh
Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Nobody: 12:59pm On Nov 07, 2019
airminem:
I Disagree. To me its a matter of misguided hatred and distrust towards men you think.
Hatred and distrust huh
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Acidosis(m): 1:01pm On Nov 07, 2019
PrimadonnaO:
Wait first nau. Calm down. First ask them where they live... state and type of house.

I'm assuming it's at least a two-bedroom apartment since they have kids. And I'm hoping it's not Lagos... and not on the island.
Lol

I'm calm fa. If your assumptions are right nko? You would advise they sell or complete the property?
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Chummynoni(m): 1:07pm On Nov 07, 2019
you are a good woman. May God bless you for your endurance.
Re: My Husband Is Being Insensitive, I Need An Advice by Efewestern: 1:07pm On Nov 07, 2019
Sanchez01:
Oniovo, the kind of things I read on here, no doubt, can make the devil mad! Dude is not even married and he keeps talking shanties. He forgot that in the process of raising a family, tendencies are that priorities and needs will multiply, particularly when the kids start coming.

There are hundreds of thousands of entrepreneurs who, though invested in their businesses, ended up wailing and gnashing their teeth. The entrepreneurial life is difficult and not easy as many see it and several factors will play out that will destroy or threaten one's business.

These guys haven't seen life yet they counsel others from an angle they know nothing about.
I hope he doesn't learn the hard way, running a business in a country such as this is not something one can bank on, so many entrepreneurs who invested in their businesses end up running at lost.

Talking about rent, what happens the year he is unable to meet up? does he know the pressure that comes with issues such as this?

What he doesn't understand is that, when you are on project, money you usually would have spent on frivolities, will be channelled into proper use. Most people who own houses don't even have millions in their account, every month after settling family needs pour in some little cash into the project.
1 2 3 ... 7 8 9 10 11 12 Reply

Are We Been Insensitive Or We Should Just Help Our Neighbour.My Uncle Wife Is InsensitiveMy Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad234

What Does It Mean When Your Wife Saves Your Number On Her Like This?10 Years Of Marriage And 2 Kids, Wife Divorces Hubby Who Was A DependantI Must Marry This Year! From Desire To Desperation ! Please Learn From This