How Do We Test True Love? - Romance (3)

How Do We Test True Love? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › How Do We Test True Love? (33895 Views)

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by GodAbeg5(m): 10:27pm On Nov 22, 2019

OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece!

yeah,and your piece just made my evening, you too get sense jare, I hope young girls of today see this

2 Likes

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by babyfaceafrica: 10:27pm On Nov 22, 2019

Magnoliaa:
Your estimation is wayy too high ... but if he's not 100% right, then okay.

Glad you mentioned people, not the quality. And anyone can imbibe whatever characteristic they wish to.

What will you say about Mother Theresa? How would you describe her behavior? Or what would you classify it as?

And you can find many more cases of such. If you Google it. Selfless acts around the world. Soldiers sacrificing, kids giving up things, the poor being fed, etc

he is very right though..1 percent is for exceptions like you mentioned

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Paulo3ree(m): 10:28pm On Nov 22, 2019

Phenomenal16:
Litmus paper

Which color then?

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by abdullkabar(m): 10:29pm On Nov 22, 2019

OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece!

Very germane

In simple term: what we call love is a feedback to a stimuli

4 Likes

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by babyfaceafrica: 10:30pm On Nov 22, 2019

stevmatt:
No need to put one into test,, you might do that wrongly.
Just believe the love will last and it will last..

If God put you to test, remember you will fail.

You might act broke to test, and he or she might have been broke before you got broken..

Trust your partner always,, though relationship of nowadays is a TOTAL SCAM

believe is not enough..faith without work will fail!!

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by MusaDanladi1: 10:32pm On Nov 22, 2019

OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece!

Court adjourned..

3 Likes

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by KanuSE: 10:34pm On Nov 22, 2019

OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece!

Daddy!!!

1 Like

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by TheRedpillguy: 10:36pm On Nov 22, 2019

aishauju:
Must a lady suffer with a guy to prove she loves the guy?

Must a rich guy lie that he is poor to get a genuine girl?

How do we test true love? Is it in what ways.

Drop your contributions.

Am sorry to spoil your hopes but Their is no True love and sorry their is no soulmate eaither. A person is not going to accept you one day for who you are.
Their is only the game of surviver. The provider and the Nurisher.
The feelings women feel towords men is differnt and wat they use to measure that feeling is differnt. Women usually go for men with healthy ganes and the the resources to provide for them. Women also find older men attractive while men find younger women attractive.
A man feeling towards a lady is differnt too, the man is looking for the best place to deposits his DNA which usually is beauty and which comes with the term, thinking with your dick.
Men with Low resorces will have access to low value female
Men with resorces will get acces to high value female. So I suggest u get ur head out of the cloud and make Money if u want the best option.
People will find it difficult to fall in love more and more, as you would call it.
Becouse women go to school now, NYSC and a job. This automatically makes them high value female. The problem is women are only attracted to people superior to them or people within their class. And after all that schooling and working. The same people in their class find them a little too old for them. And the superior ones always have resorces to go for a more viable younger woman. That's why all the pre weeding pictures u see. Will have a vibrate young guy with an old female which manage to manipulate the guy out of his thirst and lack of access to woman that she is good for him knowing that she is running out of time. But she knows the guy will make it in the future. The guy thou don't know his sexual value is high and the womans value is ending and that woman is litching bevouse she can't find a superior provider. And the rich guys thou. Pre weddings pictures are usually with a younger girl. So a mans sexual value starts at 30 why the womans sexual value ends. As long as the mans has resorces he will get anytime type of female he wants. Look at buhari, buharri can fvck all those Instagram models u think thy have value. Which thy really don't actually.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Nobody: 10:40pm On Nov 22, 2019

The mistake we make as humans is that we place so much expectations on fellow human beings.Expect the worst to happen,no one is perfect.And get a life outside your relationship

4 Likes

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Nobody: 10:40pm On Nov 22, 2019

KanuSE:
Daddy!!!

hey boy! What's up? How have you been?
So you think now is the time to check up on daddy right?

1 Like

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by eltata(m): 10:40pm On Nov 22, 2019

LOVE is a commitment. Both Parties make it TRUE or UNTRUE

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by holuwajobar(m): 10:42pm On Nov 22, 2019

People still dont get it

TRUE LOVE DON'T EXIST!!!!!

1 Like

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by saasala(m): 10:42pm On Nov 22, 2019

OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece!

Finally, I have found the reincarnation of king Solomon of ancient Hebrews.

In all my years on Nairaland I have not come across a comment on love as apt and sensible as this one.

You should be worshipped, for you are a god of love.

17 Likes

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Jhamzy(m): 10:44pm On Nov 22, 2019

True love withstand the test time.
True love gives you an unexplanable joy in within (in and out of season).
True love gives you an unfathomable peace of mind.

The above points are scriptural Folks....

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by luminouz(m): 10:44pm On Nov 22, 2019

I read OladimejiRufai's comment and stopped reading all others. There is nothing more to add to that masterpiece.

Glad to see some people here are that logical

3 Likes

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Donatusegba: 10:49pm On Nov 22, 2019

U try to copy nd paste

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Nobody: 10:49pm On Nov 22, 2019

ornicus:
What is true love and why are you looking for it?

I ask this because what most people call love is what they have picked from movies and love songs

I don't know what they sing today, but the songs from my time sound like absolute bs. My life is meaningless without you . I will give up everything for you . you are my reason for living. I think about you all the time, I will die without you. Some songs sound like straight up stalker anthems when you listen to them today.

People ceding meaning in their life.

I am just saying that people have an unrealistic idea about what love is due to popular culture.

All the nonsense about Loving a poor guy is more of the same. Basically hang in with the frog and kiss him until he turns into a prince.

How many guys are willing to love an ugly girl if she has character? How many guys are willing to wait for an ugly duckling to become a Swan?

How does beauty equate to money?

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Divay22(f): 10:51pm On Nov 22, 2019

TOPCRUISE:
When it comes to true love, Nigerian girls are hypocrites

And how is that?

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Godhatesodomy: 10:51pm On Nov 22, 2019

Wow

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Deewhy19: 10:53pm On Nov 22, 2019

OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece!

just love what you just say don't love but care

2 Likes

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by koolmoore(m): 10:55pm On Nov 22, 2019

OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece!

hmmmmm, this is so deep and i must confess, it one of the best piece i have read on nairaland in recent time.
3 Gbosa for you...!!!

3 Likes

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by BigGuyMan: 10:56pm On Nov 22, 2019

Magnoliaa:
Your estimation is wayy too high ... but if he's not 100% right, then okay.

Glad you mentioned people, not the quality. And anyone can imbibe whatever characteristic they wish to.

What will you say about Mother Theresa? How would you describe her behavior? Or what would you classify it as?

And you can find many more cases of such. If you Google it. Selfless acts around the world. Soldiers sacrificing, kids giving up things, the poor being fed, etc

Mother Theresa is a terrible human.
Maybe you should read deep about her hidden motives and stop promoting stupid people

2 Likes

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by jimcaddy(m): 10:59pm On Nov 22, 2019

Fantastic piece sir. Best comment so far

OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece!

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Ishilove: 11:00pm On Nov 22, 2019

ornicus:
What is true love and why are you looking for it?

I ask this because what most people call love is what they have picked from movies and love songs

I don't know what they sing today, but the songs from my time sound like absolute bs. My life is meaningless without you . I will give up everything for you . you are my reason for living. I think about you all the time, I will die without you. Some songs sound like straight up stalker anthems when you listen to them today.

People ceding meaning in their life.

I am just saying that people have an unrealistic idea about what love is due to popular culture.

All the nonsense about Loving a poor guy is more of the same. Basically hang in with the frog and kiss him until he turns into a prince.

How many guys are willing to love an ugly girl if she has character? How many guys are willing to wait for an ugly duckling to become a Swan?

Very unromantic a somborri. Mscheeeeeeeew

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Magnoliaa(f): 11:00pm On Nov 22, 2019

BigGuyMan:
Mother Theresa is a terrible human.
Maybe you should read deep about her hidden motives and stop promoting stupid people

I think you're in a better place to expose her hidden motives, right here, for all to know...

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by DennisEche(m): 11:01pm On Nov 22, 2019

Act like you have stroke

2 Likes

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Tsolutionifede(m): 11:01pm On Nov 22, 2019

franchasng:
There is nothing like true love, people form love or develop love when their selfish expectations in someone is fulfilled or met, remove those expectations and selfish interest, the so called love will die!

When a girl see a guy that have all or most of the qualities she wants in a man, she will allow herself to form or develop love. That's selfishness.

Same way, when a guy meets a girl that have all or most of the qualities he wants in a girl, he allows his mind to form or develop feeling he call love. Love does not exist. The only love that exist is the love between a mother and child.

Guys go for sex appeal mostly while ladies go for provision most times. So it's all about selfish interest, love is a fallacy, don't be deceived!!!

u get sense, can we act like we are in love

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by TheRedpillguy: 11:02pm On Nov 22, 2019

pansophist:
If a girl stays with you when you're broke and have nothing, and can see the potential in you, and water it into maturity with you, especially when she still have in abundance her youthfulness and not in lack of male suitors, then she is a keeper.

If an influential man with female abundance, didnt cheat on his woman despite numerous women out there that will out-compete his mistress, then he loves her. (Eg Davido and Chioma).

Am still sure that davido and chioma thing won't end well. Mostly for future political purpose. Yoruba and Igbo. U know? Votes

1 Like

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Westernlove: 11:05pm On Nov 22, 2019

MJBOLT:
there's nothing like true love,people are only in relationships for their own benefits.

Bitter Truth

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by souljar(m): 11:06pm On Nov 22, 2019

DennisEche:
Act like you have stroke

After OladimejiRufai's, this is the next best comment... rofl grin

1 Like

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by naturefellow(m): 11:06pm On Nov 22, 2019

yomi007k:
This is so deep and intuitive.

I wish I knew you personally.

like he's a sage

Re: How Do We Test True Love? by bestabigaelever(f): 11:06pm On Nov 22, 2019

OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece!

You are smart
I love all those things you said

2 Likes

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