| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Uchesis: 12:09pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
DownChelsea:
Obviously the OP sees love as a concept that only revolves around money or material living. Babe u just spoke my mind. Love has been in existence even before the invention of money or material things. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Lazerone(f): 12:25pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
|
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Colb461: 12:30pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
Lolx.bt majority are the female folks Payperboii:
Guys de that table too oh |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Starz825(m): 1:05pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
Greatdre:
I am doing very well. I have accepted my fate. I have now realised there is no true love anywhere. Infact I told her after she made that statement that if we divorce, I will never marry again. I don't think divorce is the answer, since I have not caught her cheating. I am just totally disappointed and devastated. Sir..sorry sir...if i may ask - Can u pls name the couple of things she was doing perfectly before she changed...and wat are the present changes u noticed in her that pissed u off...thank you..don't be annoyed |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Kendrick80(m): 1:08pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
@OladimejiRufai u make sense die  |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by healthserve(m): 1:22pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP
From this moment, stop looking for true love
I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.
Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.
See, in most cases, love is transient.
Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.
sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.
sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.
"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.
So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.
So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.
That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.
this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.
But for someone who fulfils that criteria;
- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;
- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);
- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)
- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;
- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.
- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;
So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.
So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.
If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.
My piece! Apt |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by TemmyT002(m): 1:40pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP
From this moment, stop looking for true love
I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.
Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.
See, in most cases, love is transient.
Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.
sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.
sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.
"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.
So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.
So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.
That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.
this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.
But for someone who fulfils that criteria;
- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;
- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);
- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)
- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;
- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.
- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;
So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.
So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.
If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.
My piece! Wow!!! This sums up everything This particular post should would be written separately and posted to stand on its own. Then it should be put on first page and then everyone should share it everywhere. This is going on my blog So insightful. Wow!! |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Greatdre(m): 3:18pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
Starz825:
Sir..sorry sir...if i may ask - Can u pls name the couple of things she was doing perfectly before she changed...and wat are the present changes u noticed in her that pissed u off...thank you..don't be annoyed Okay. Well, it would be difficult to say all..But let me give a brief..She was financially supportive, loved my mother and my family, gave me a total respect, emotionally supportive whenever I was down, cooks for me always etc..But now, she abuses me, my mum and my family at will, leaves me to every financial responsibilities even though she is working and making good money, careless about my emotional needs, has no iota of respect for me, selfish, to cook is war etc |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Starz825(m): 3:39pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
Greatdre:
Okay. Well, it would be difficult to say all..But let me give a brief..She was financially supportive, loved my mother and my family, gave me a total respect, emotionally supportive whenever I was down, cooks for me always etc..But now, she abuses me, my mum and my family at will, leaves me to every financial responsibilities even though she is working and making good money, careless about my emotional needs, has no iota of respect for me, selfish, to cook is war etc Wow......that's not good...I pray God will give you the wisdom/strength to endure this till she comes back to her sense... please keep praying for her ..I realized you are a gentleman..who probably doesn't like wahala...just keep tolerating and praying...God will surely help you and ur wife... Thanks |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Frankmome: 3:40pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
I don't really know why you people equates loving with having money, so does it mean that poor people can't find love too? And for those of you saying that there's no true love better change that kind of mentality....
There has always been true love, if you're lucky to find one try and keep it and pray cos no one is perfect...
But the problem is most time love can fade away that why you have to be with someone who understands life better, those who don't take things too emotional.... 1 Like |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Kay17: 5:00pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
doubleportion:
You had said all!a true love is rooted in sacrifice, love is not about you,it's about how to please your lover. The fact that you are seeking for a true love signified that you are selfish. What about you try to proof how much you love somebody?.1 cor 13 said it all look for those qualities both in yourself and your partner. I don't think that's what he meant. He definitely didn't say true love is in sacrifice rather there is a shift in value to finding responsible people who look beyond uphoria of true love for the greater good and achievement marriage can offer. |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by tammie24: 7:54pm On Nov 23, 2019 |
OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP
From this moment, stop looking for true love
I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.
Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.
See, in most cases, love is transient.
Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.
sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.
sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.
"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.
So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.
So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.
That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.
this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.
But for someone who fulfils that criteria;
- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;
- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);
- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)
- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;
- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.
- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;
So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.
So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.
If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.
My piece! just for reference You are good! 1 Like |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by lawboss: 9:46am On Nov 24, 2019 |
OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP
From this moment, stop looking for true love
I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.
Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.
See, in most cases, love is transient.
Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.
sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.
sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.
"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.
So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.
So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.
That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.
this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.
But for someone who fulfils that criteria;
- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;
- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);
- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)
- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;
- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.
- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;
So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.
So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.
If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.
My piece! And eventually I got a standard for a healthy living...much much ....I so much appreciate u sir. |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by emmaodet: 4:53pm On Nov 24, 2019 |
franchasng:
There is nothing like true love, people form love or develop love when their selfish expectations in someone is fulfilled or met, remove those expectations and selfish interest, the so called love will die!
When a girl see a guy that have all or most of the qualities she wants in a man, she will allow herself to form or develop love. That's selfishness.
Same way, when a guy meets a girl that have all or most of the qualities he wants in a girl, he allows his mind to form or develop feeling he call love. Love does not exist. The only love that exist is the love between a mother and child.
Guys go for sex appeal mostly while ladies go for provision most times. So it's all about selfish interest, love is a fallacy, don't be deceived!!! Hmmmmmmm |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by Mryacks: 1:11pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
What a piece! OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP
From this moment, stop looking for true love
I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.
Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.
See, in most cases, love is transient.
Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.
sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.
sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.
"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.
So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.
So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.
That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.
this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.
But for someone who fulfils that criteria;
- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;
- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);
- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)
- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;
- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.
- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;
So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.
So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.
If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.
My piece! |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by blaky007: 8:02pm On Nov 29, 2019 |
OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP
From this moment, stop looking for true love
I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.
Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.
See, in most cases, love is transient.
Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.
sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.
sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.
"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.
So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.
So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.
That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.
this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.
But for someone who fulfils that criteria;
- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;
- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);
- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)
- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;
- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.
- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;
So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.
So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.
If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.
My piece! Noted. |
| Re: How Do We Test True Love? by j3r3myk3n(m): 4:04am On Nov 03, 2020 |
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP
From this moment, stop looking for true love
I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.
Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.
See, in most cases, love is transient.
Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.
sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.
sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.
"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.
So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.
So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.
That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.
this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.
But for someone who fulfils that criteria;
- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;
- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);
- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)
- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;
- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.
- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;
So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.
So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.
If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.
My piece! Kindly permit me to repost this. Ill drop credit though. |
