₦airaland Forum

healthserve:
Elder, allow me raise my clap, place it on my table, stand up and clap. I like the strong coherent points on your comments.


Its the idea of what they want a husband to be they fall in love with, one to put in their own ideology of what they think, feel and want him to be.

But then, 27 is too early to begin to cry wouldn't you agree?


By the way, you need to start writing again your old usual ways o. Not the short. Straightforward write-ups of recent.


How's the lady?

Back to the point...27 is not early at all considering the fact that she won't meet a guy today and marry him tomorrow and once a lady clocks 30, wahala don start...at that point, she becomes even more careful and defensive of the fact that she is not desperate but unfortunately the crazy Society starts putting pressure.

The truth is that the best time for a lady to meet her husband is in her early 20s or even late teens when she is not even nursing the idea of a serious romance but the moment she starts having the consciousness, nah trouble.

That is why I don't always advise ladies to date men with close age proximity(Yes age is only a number) but it is better a lady dates a guy very much older to avoid being played with by Bleep boys who hardly know what they want.

An 18year old girl should try to be with a guy that is at least 8 to 10years older than her...if she behaves herself very well, she is most likely to marry the guy cos at her mod 20s the guy will be getting ready for marital life and a lady in her early 20s dating a guy in his 30s will most likely end up as his Mrs.(in most cases)

This is simple logic.

lilwetdick:
what jobs are they? are you based in Nigeria? the guys who i know can have 2 jobs in Nigeria are doctors and security men/women

but anyway, i guess it is a low paying job that is why you work 2 jobs to pay up the bills, anyway nothing wrong with that

but will you be so kind enough to tell us the type of jobs, lets know your capability since you want a rich man

i am a security man

Beverlyjean:
I love Tyler Perry's movies for one thing ...it tells stories of the reality of life... Acrimony showed us how most of we women think .... The woman in the movie felt so entitled cos she sponsored the man all thru their existence together but dint 100% believe ,trust or loved the man ... He loved her a hundred percent but also believed in his dreams a hundred percent ... When u both come together as one , u both should trust ur dreams a hundred percent , even if it doesn't work in the end ... Most times God brings these challenges to test us ... And most times we give up in the dying minutes... She was the man's distraction but dint realise it... Love is for better for worse till the end ... But because she felts entitled , she tried to control him , and u can't take a man away from what he believes in..u can only support till the end ... She made the decision to move on , the man still came bk to beg but he was ridiculed ... Most women get bad advice from friends and relatives ... We women are not good managers cos we are illogical cos that's the way we are wired , but feminism has come to decieve most of us .... When a man truly loves a woman , nothing can ever change that feeling unless she cheats ... But when a woman loves a man alot of factors can change those feelings ... The woman in acrimony had an unforgiving spirit and that's y she dint accept him bk till she heard he was now in money ... Any woman that supports the woman in acrimony is a red flag , a glaring one at that

Jesus is Lord !

Can a woman talk this honestly. Abeg you my sister, make I stand up cos I dey keenl down for road now as I dey read this your comment abeg you.


Can you be my personal prophet on relationships matter? Your seer eyes dey red hot and you're fvcking objective. My goodness, you're so apt, I'm fvcking blowna away like I got hit by a canon ball. Damn it.

Toks2008:
Back to the point...27 is not early at all considering the fact that she won't meet a guy today and marry him tomorrow and once a lady clocks 30, wahala don start...at that point, she becomes even more careful and defensive of the fact that she is not desperate but unfortunately the crazy Society starts putting pressure.

The truth is that the best time for a lady to meet her husband is in her early 20s or even late teens when she is not even nursing the idea of a serious romance but the moment she starts having the consciousness, nah trouble.

That is why I don't always advise ladies to date men with close age proximity(Yes age is only a number) but it is better a lady dates a guy very much older to avoid being played with by Bleep boys who hardly know what they want.

Hmm Bros

So speaking of which, is there any salvation/redemption point. Let's depict the Op here and her fellow band wagon of young ladies she may have attempted derailing to join her, what counsel can you give them Sir, as an elder in the house. Because they say he who must miss the road, should learn to ask for directions


Is it too late?

Harlequeen:
i am a security man

i know you lack comprehension

Beverlyjean:
I love Tyler Perry's movies for one thing ...it tells stories of the reality of life... Acrimony showed us how most of we women think .... The woman in the movie felt so entitled cos she sponsored the man all thru their existence together but dint 100% believe ,trust or loved the man ... He loved her a hundred percent but also believed in his dreams a hundred percent ... When u both come together as one , u both should trust ur dreams a hundred percent , even if it doesn't work in the end ... Most times God brings these challenges to test us ... And most times we give up in the dying minutes... She was the man's distraction but dint realise it... Love is for better for worse till the end ... But because she felts entitled , she tried to control him , and u can't take a man away from what he believes in..u can only support till the end ... She made the decision to move on , the man still came bk to beg but he was ridiculed ... Most women get bad advice from friends and relatives ... We women are not good managers cos we are illogical cos that's the way we are wired , but feminism has come to decieve most of us .... When a man truly loves a woman , nothing can ever change that feeling unless she cheats ... But when a woman loves a man alot of factors can change those feelings ... The woman in acrimony had an unforgiving spirit and that's y she dint accept him bk till she heard he was now in money ... Any woman that supports the woman in acrimony is a red flag , a glaring one at that

you sound like a male hiding behind the f monicker

healthserve:
Hmm Bros

So speaking of which, is there any salvation/redemption point. Let's depict the Op here and her fellow band wagon of young ladies she may have attempted derailing to join her, what counsel can you give them Sir, as an elder in the house. Because they say he who must miss the road, should learn to ask for directions


Is it too late?

You can never advise people who have closed their minds to the truth, they can only learn through experience and by then they will not only become wiser but a teacher to those who understand that it is better to learn effortlessly from people's experience rather than to learn bitterly from their own experience.

niaralandtopuser:
her real moniker is funminastics. they claim to not care about men but always create alternate to seek advice. marry all these nairaland so-called feminist at your own peril

lol, i am not. Although she is also a doctor

Judybash93:
Great stuff. My question is... What do you have to offer if you get all these attributes that you want in a man?

Are you interested to know?

Toks2008:
You can never advise people who have closed their minds to the truth, they can only learn through experience and by then they will not only become wiser but a teacher to those who understand that it is better to learn effortlessly from people's experience rather than to learn bitterly from their own experience.

So people like the Op can be said to be condemned by self-inflicting theories to be single for life.

Riele:
You have no problem at all .

Just don't settle for less .

Michael how market

Beverlyjean:
With ur understanding of acrimony ...it simply shows ur personality and I so pity any man that falls for u ... U are a certain feminist and a red flag for men.... U seem like the entitled unforgiven type .... U are the type that they men say they should fear

you are most likely a man,and having a certain opinion does not make me a feminist.

healthserve:
So people like the Op can be said to be condemned by self-inflicting theories to be single for life.

Have you seen how they attack even my personal life when I write on romance with several years of experience.

I can bet my manhood on it that years after now, many ladies wailing and lashing out at me will come back to read my threads and by then they will secretly ask me for forgiveness in their minds.

For now let me bear their excesses. The internet is a faceless place where a 16year old will curse a 60year old and gets away with it.

Bro abeg leave them.

lilwetdick:
i know you lack comprehension

i didn't come here for insults. Have a nice life

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

so you're looking for a real nigga kor? Lemme c ur picture?

oxiide22:
so you're looking for a real nigga kor? Lemme c ur picture?

you didn't reqd the part where inside i get turned off when men asked for my picture

Toks2008:
Have you seen how they attack even my personal life when I write on romance with over 4decades of experience.

I can bet my manhood on it that years after now, many ladies wailing and lashing out at me will come back to read my threads and by then they will secretly ask me for forgiveness in their minds.

For now let me bear their excesses. The internet is a faceless place where a 16year old will curse a 60year old and gets away with it.

Bro abeg leave them.

Theoretically and hypothetically, by declaring this moniker as a popular one here,let's assume we declare this is the foremost attacker of anything male/men/marriage/healthy relations and pro feminist views, its safe to imply the belief system is doomed already with it's foremost cheerleader already on it's knees assuming this moniker is anyone that can be ascribed/tagged an attacker.


Hence, here are the deductions: Feminism doesn't pay and offers nothing but sadness. Most importantly, this is an open apology to every good man who was slaughtered on the altar of feminism/anti-pro-male headship-styled relations

Harlequeen:
i didn't come here for insults. Have a nice life

i am having one already

Harlequeen:
you didn't reqd the part where inside i get turned off when men asked for my picture

Didn't hear from you again

Harlequeen:
you didn't reqd the part where inside i get turned off when men asked for my picture

you are doing online dating and you dont want men to asked for picture, what age you think you are living in, or do you think men dont want to know if they are talking to a bot or not.

if you are not ready to send your pic, you arent ready for online dating...it is a 2 ways thing

pansophist:
The quoted above only demonstrates the unrealistic standards girls set for themselves, pricing themselves out from the romance market place. Of course, you have the right to aim for high-quality men, but your aiming should be realistic with the situation on ground. You want a well-spoken, accomplished, high-quality man, ready-made man, that lives in Lekki, the kind that is also highly sorted after by lots of women, the kind of man that knows he has options and has less incentive to settle, is, in my view, unrealistic to aim for.

And after all these expectational qualities you wrote, I still didn't see where you wrote about your own contributions to his life. I do not want to think that you assume yourself to be perfect and that any man you picked should be damn lucky for having you in his life. It seems like you want a trophy husband, an exotic animal that you will admire every day for his accomplishments and high-powered lifestyle, you just love him for what he is, not who he is.

How about seeking a good man that will treat you right and grow with him? Do you think that such ready-made men you aim for will find you worthy when you haven't known them in their formative years and when they had nothing? You even said that whenever you see these men, you are not attracted to them, at this point, you need to come to terms with the realities on the ground that relationships are all about compromise. You cant have it all. There is not an equal amount of rich men for every girl, just as there is not an equal amount of stunningly beautiful women for every man.

At 25, I want to believe you should be matured to know that meaningful relationships are formed on the foundations of compatibility and altruism. Seek a man with potential, with honor, thas expresses healthy masculinity. A man that respects you and has good track records that are subjective to his circumstances, grow with him, and let your femininity complements his. Still expecting to sweep off your feet and tingling butterflies is temporary and fades with time before realities sets in.

You sabi this relationship thing well well oh!

Young lady, u need to realize dat not all ur wishes shall come 2 pass.try and be realistic sometimes.stop being picky wit men.be atleast considerate.best of luck

Harlequeen:
you sound like a male hiding behind the f monicker

So because I don't support ur ideas or beliefs , I am a man ...lol... I am the only daughter with 4 bothers and I'm the last ... I hv more of male friends than women ... I know the way we women think and how men think as well... I hv seen life experiences thru my aunties ... Better wake up b4 u get lost in life ... Face reality and leave fantasy

Beverlyjean:
So because I don't support ur ideas or beliefs , I am a man ...lol... I am the only daughter with 4 bothers and I'm the last ... I hv more of male friends than women ... I know the way we women think and how men think as well... I hv seen life experiences thru my aunties ... Better wake up b4 u get lost in life ... Face reality and leave fantasy

in that case you areost likely the real feminist here

GrabHisBalls:
The thing is that you have raised a standard for yourself. Perhaps, if you're patient enough, he'll come around. I'm in same shoes as you. Infact, I have one that has been disturbing me of marriage but he's just not my type. He knows he's not and has confronted me citing not being up to what I want but I refused to state the major reason why I won't accept to date or marry him 'cause I don't want him feeling less. I just believe that with time, things will fall in pleasant places.

what's hard in telling him he's not good looking?

healthserve:
Theoretically and hypothetically, by declaring this moniker as a popular one here,let's assume we declare this is the foremost attacker of anything male/men/marriage/healthy relations and pro feminist views, its safe to imply the belief system is doomed already with it's foremost cheerleader already on it's knees assuming this moniker is anyone that can be ascribed/tagged an attacker.


Hence, here are the deductions: Feminism doesn't pay and offers nothing but sadness. Most importantly, this is an open apology to every good man who was slaughtered on the altar of feminism/anti-pro-male headship-styled relations

People claiming feminism online are the most vulnerable offline. Take it to the bank.

pansophist:
The quoted above only demonstrates the unrealistic standards girls set for themselves, pricing themselves out from the romance market place. Of course, you have the right to aim for high-quality men, but your aiming should be realistic with the situation on ground. You want a well-spoken, accomplished, high-quality man, ready-made man, that lives in Lekki, the kind that is also highly sorted after by lots of women, the kind of man that knows he has options and has less incentive to settle, is, in my view, unrealistic to aim for.

And after all these expectational qualities you wrote, I still didn't see where you wrote about your own contributions to his life. I do not want to think that you assume yourself to be perfect and that any man you picked should be damn lucky for having you in his life. It seems like you want a trophy husband, an exotic animal that you will admire every day for his accomplishments and high-powered lifestyle, you just love him for what he is, not who he is.

How about seeking a good man that will treat you right and grow with him? Do you think that such ready-made men you aim for will find you worthy when you haven't known them in their formative years and when they had nothing? You even said that whenever you see these men, you are not attracted to them, at this point, you need to come to terms with the realities on the ground that relationships are all about compromise. You cant have it all. There is not an equal amount of rich men for every girl, just as there is not an equal amount of stunningly beautiful women for every man.

At 25, I want to believe you should be matured to know that meaningful relationships are formed on the foundations of compatibility and altruism. Seek a man with potential, with honor, thas expresses healthy masculinity. A man that respects you and has good track records that are subjective to his circumstances, grow with him, and let your femininity complements his. Still expecting to sweep off your feet and tingling butterflies is temporary and fades with time before realities sets in.

well spoken, but i have tried potential and didn't like it. All men have potential,but can they make it kinetic energy and yield results?

Harlequeen:
in that case you areost likely the real feminist here

I'm not a feminist but a realist ... Most ideologies that women are begining to believe these days will most likely ruin us .... We need men more than they need us really ....

Beverlyjean:
I'm not a feminist but a realist ... Most ideologies that women are begining to believe these days will most likely ruin us .... We need men more than they need us really ....

Oh my goodness. I need to know you abeg. I'm thrilled to meet a pure realist in a female.

Sup my lady? Do you oblige my permission to engage?

Beverlyjean:
I'm not a feminist but a realist ... Most ideologies that women are begining to believe these days will most likely ruin us .... We need men more than they need us really ....

why do you say that last sentence of yours?