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My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Cybobo: 9:52pm On Dec 07, 2019
Please note that not every girl like a guy calling her all the time. Just do ur best

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by white3663: 9:53pm On Dec 07, 2019
kenny714433:
Lol.. .So I've got people who are like me.


But trust me, we introverts can really think and solve problems. The way we daydream we can even reposition Nigeria to become like Dubai.


My speeches are always very brief and concise. If you feel you should take the conversation further, then be ready to talk and rrspond to yourself.

But we got that one person we do talk so much with.. .Mainly the person who we share common idea.

Making new friends after breakup is war. .... Approaching a girl is like a 4credit load course. But we don't lack what to say, though brief.

We love nature and spend time feeling nature than gathering at where these loud mouthed Marlians are gathered. At such times, we might think about life, death, mysteries of the world, how the world should look like etc.

I was only sad about my introvert nature when my mom called me on phone and ask me "Ken, if I die won't you miss me?" That lady doesn't know I think about her everyday of my life.

Word!!
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Blackpearlous(f): 9:54pm On Dec 07, 2019
Phelixblaq:
Only jobless boys calls for 2 hours... The highest I can do is 10 minute of you are not okay with it then roast it
lie! It doesn't have to be all the time, but 2hours call should happen when you share the same interest. It is normal and not just with people in a relationship
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by ABCthings: 9:54pm On Dec 07, 2019
Loladearewa01:

I feel I should just accept myself for who I am
Don't that the last thing you wanna do. Relationship is like math if you're bad then you're really bad.
'Be yourself' is a recipe to stop improving
Even if you find a woman with the same interest as you, you still won't be able to communicate well enough.
Don't be yourself be your best self.

2 Likes

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by noCAP(m): 9:56pm On Dec 07, 2019
same here bro. The highest i can stay on call with a girl is 10 minutes, after which, i start getting irritated and quickly try to end the call.

This trait is particularly common among introverts. so if your boyfriend doesn't call you as much as you'd want, just know he belongs to the above category of people (introverts).

And BTW, introverts rock cool

7 Likes

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by TissuePaper: 9:57pm On Dec 07, 2019
ABCthings:
Don't that the last thing you wanna do. Relationship is like math if you're bad then you're really bad.
'Be yourself' is a recipe to stop improving
Even if you find a woman with the same interest as you, you still won't be able to communicate well enough.
Don't be yourself be your best self.
exactly

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by ABCthings: 10:00pm On Dec 07, 2019
TissuePaper:
exactly
Hope he listens.
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Dinho20(m): 10:01pm On Dec 07, 2019
"HMMMM"
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by GuestLog: 10:04pm On Dec 07, 2019
Loladearewa01:

Wow this makes alot of sense. I am a man of few words but lately I am beginning to be insecure about that
You see, I was an introvert before I decided to free myself from my self inflicted exile. The reason I enjoyed being an introvert is that it gives me time to build myself, learn trends faster and update myself in record times. But I was missing out on life and decided to change. So, I joined a music band group, with an extrovert who loves to have battalions of women in the house and party all day. Within 3 months I became a different person.

Sometimes I want to just crawl to my shell and shut everyone one out which I do when I'm out of tune with inner self and sometimes I just tell myself to change a little. Now, I can be an introvert for weeks locked up in my room & work from home without any bother & sometimes I can be the life of the party. Now I've found balance and enjoy best of both worlds. Though I'm happily married now and my wife understands when I want to be left alone for a while and when I'm on overdrive being an extrovert and that's what makes one an intriguing personality.

Find your balance, mingle, get extrovert friends, join a fun loving social group and you'd find humans lovable.

Peace!

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by anochuko01(m): 10:04pm On Dec 07, 2019
Clingy and gum body people can't have a healthy relationship.
I used to call for that long, but I'll be wasting my precious and valuable life doing that this time around. Spend your precious time judiciously, thanks.

1 Like

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by RexTramadol1: 10:04pm On Dec 07, 2019
I'm not an introvert as such





But I also hate calls like mad





I prefer texting that calling

1 Like

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Onyi22(f): 10:07pm On Dec 07, 2019
O boy all u need is money and nothing more
That's d only language girls understand better, not big big grammar,,,,
Who communication epp?

1 Like

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by NoraPibowei(f): 10:09pm On Dec 07, 2019
Loladearewa01:
I am a staunch introvert, the kind that stays at home all day I really hate small talks and I can't talk to people for more than 5minutes.

When I call a lady hardly can we talk for a minute. Infact I hate calling. Now I had this experience when I visited my aunty and an ex of mine happen to stay in the same compound.

I noticed her boo calls her for like 2hours and she's always laughing with him. This was when I started realising my mistake when I was with her I hardly call and communicate and this has been happening with most of the ladies I meet and things are not working out.

Is there anyone with similar experience?
It seems d ladies you've dated have always been d one calling,while u hardly call? ladies dnt like men dat r weak in communication,am a lady nd I'm telling u d truth,wen a lady loves u 4 real she would love hearing ur voice,infact everyday nd most of d calls shud b 4rm d guy,it makes us feel important nd makes a lady loves u more.

1 Like

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by NoraPibowei(f): 10:15pm On Dec 07, 2019
Note,it shouldn't always be calling all the time,sometimes a love text would do,something that would make her grow more inlove u know,and if calling it shouldn't spend hours,u can even call and just say baby,I love u and end just a sec call.

1 Like

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Fairview1: 10:21pm On Dec 07, 2019
OyiboOyibo:
Believe more in yourself and read more books on communication skills.... No relationship can strive without good communication


Louder please!

No relationship can thrive without good and quality communication. Communication is undoubtedly the bedrock of everything we do. From leadership in any field to our immediate family. So many things have gone wrong because there's a missing link that can be traced to conversation/communication.

1 Like 3 Shares

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by OneKinGuy(m): 10:26pm On Dec 07, 2019
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Loladearewa01: 10:26pm On Dec 07, 2019
NoraPibowei:
It seems d ladies you've dated have always been d one calling,while u hardly call? ladies dnt like men dat r weak in communication,am a lady nd I'm telling u d truth,wen a lady loves u 4 real she would love hearing ur voice,infact everyday nd most of d calls shud b 4rm d guy,it makes us feel important nd makes a lady loves u more.
My sister also gave me the same advice I just feel more comfortable texting
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Nobody: 10:28pm On Dec 07, 2019
The only communications you need with
Nigerian women or girls is in your wallet.




Nigerian Females doesn't know of any other kinda communications Appart from the Content of your wallet.

Trust me, I know!!

1 Like

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by hayodejipop: 10:28pm On Dec 07, 2019
Bro,go make money first after dat no b u go make all those communications nah dem fit do dah for u!!!!!

1 Like

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by saladinnoir: 10:33pm On Dec 07, 2019
Loladearewa01:
I am a staunch introvert, the kind that stays at home all day I really hate small talks and I can't talk to people for more than 5minutes.

When I call a lady hardly can we talk for a minute. Infact I hate calling. Now I had this experience when I visited my aunty and an ex of mine happen to stay in the same compound.

I noticed her boo calls her for like 2hours and she's always laughing with him. This was when I started realising my mistake when I was with her I hardly call and communicate and this has been happening with most of the ladies I meet and things are not working out.

Is there anyone with similar experience?

1 Do not make girls a priority
2 your main source of companionship should be your friends even if it's just one
3 please don't be one of those guys who's only hobby is chasing skirt,drinking beer and smoking
Read, game, write, draw, exercise, cycle, hike, watch comedy, travel, this world is sweet pussy is only a small percent of that sweetness
4 Hustle so you can live comfortably and retire early with peace of mind, invest widely
5 look for your fellow introverts you'll get along better
6 if you cover their faces the holes are the same,
7 look for a wife or at least a serious relationship
And lastly DON'T MAKE GIRLS A PRIORITY

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by nanceeleecious(f): 10:36pm On Dec 07, 2019
easternguy1:
Have u heard of autism? You can reach me privately on darlingtononyido@gmail.com
Guy isn't autistic. He's just too reserved if you ask me.
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by E2000: 10:37pm On Dec 07, 2019
Loladearewa01:
I am a staunch introvert, the kind that stays at home all day I really hate small talks and I can't talk to people for more than 5minutes.

When I call a lady hardly can we talk for a minute. Infact I hate calling. Now I had this experience when I visited my aunty and an ex of mine happen to stay in the same compound.

I noticed her boo calls her for like 2hours and she's always laughing with him. This was when I started realising my mistake when I was with her I hardly call and communicate and this has been happening with most of the ladies I meet and things are not working out.

Is there anyone with similar experience?
We are more in the world than you think. You have many options to solve your problem though. You can up your communication skill from social media or you can be the "talk less and act more kind of guy" or just make money and be rich and girls will stick with you like a fly attracted to faeces etc
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by NamelessOGBENI(m): 10:37pm On Dec 07, 2019
And the OP style of writing is shy and introverted.

Who else notice that too..
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Trailblazer93: 10:38pm On Dec 07, 2019
Fairview1:


Bros, we are in this together, hence my signature below...but mine isn't as bad as you described yours. I am an introvert, a sanguine, with a reclusive personality as well.

Initially, I finds it very difficult to engage people in a long convo, even when I manage and successfully start one, sometime along the line I end up not knowing what next to talk about, or probably end up shooting myself on the leg.

It may be because English wasn't my primary language, I was born and bred in a remote village, where english as a means of communication is an alien stuff. We revere and diginify anyone who speaks english effortless until when I stepped outside of my comfort zone.

Now these were what I did which I believe boosted my communication skills and that also make me a better conversation holder, at least to some considerable extent....not that I am in anyway a good speaker or conversationist but I am better off today and I have this strong hope i will keep on getting better in time to come.


Being that I had discovered my weakness on the area of communication and speaking skill, I made sure that I am going to make friends with whoever that speaks, writes and converses well...both here on Nairaland, Facebook, LinkedIn, Offline; at the Workplace, School, in the Church, YouTube, in a Cab, anywhere!

The world is like a world unto another, it didn't take time I began making friends with my friend's friends. That alone opened a whole lot of other opportunities for me...and that was how I managed to broaden my vocabulary, grammar, syntax etcetera.

The yardstick to which I use to measure my progress is when people call, tag, quote or mention me on a post, to seek for my opinion on any topic of discourse. I wasn't that way before. I practically built myself in that direction with a conscious and tireless effort to get better.


Through the people whom I have met and discussed my challenge with, some suggested that I should enroll for Toastmasters Club which I did and also engaged myself in so many other different social gatherings. Don't forget, that I always listen with a rapt attention, to learn why they act and talk the way they do.


In a nutshell, to get bettet at communication, there are only two guaranteed ways;

~Learn to become knowledgeable about few things and talk about them always.

Or

~Learn to know little about too many topics and talk about them always with steady questions and inquiries.

If you can master the act of doing this very well, you wlll make yourself good friends and opportunities with preceeds them afterwards.

Hope this helped?
You can't be a Sanguine and say you are an introvert. Sanguine and Choleric are never introvert. You are either melancholy or phlegmatic. You can do further reading on personality traits/types

1 Like

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by nanceeleecious(f): 10:41pm On Dec 07, 2019
noCAP:
same here bro. The highest i can stay on call with a girl is 10 minutes, after which, i start getting irritated and quickly try to end the call.

This trait is particularly common among introverts. so if your boyfriend doesn't call you as much as you'd want, just know he belongs to the above category of people (introverts).

And BTW, introverts rock cool

Nah, Ambiverts Rock

1 Like

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by olumbest(m): 10:43pm On Dec 07, 2019
Loladearewa01:

As in I wonder what they keep saying Everytime

I'm like you. Well, let's say, was like you. I asked same question 'What do they talk about?'

Come closer.

1. This is not an advise. I'm only sharing some part of my stupidity and how I was able to help myself.

2. Girls don't need you to speak. They're not that patient, just listen.

3. Before they can speak for you to listen, you need to initiate the talk. Simple thing,be interested in her. Get comfortable with telling her stupid things -- small talks for ladies.

4. Read a book on small talks, Leil Lowandes wrote about ninety something tricks on how to start one. Just don't be lazy about trying them out.

5. I still haven't told you what you speak of for 2-hours. Listen to this:

Me: Hi Hun, how d'u do?
Bae: I'm good, you?
Me: Fine.
After pleasantries.
Me: How did your day go?
Bae: It was fine.

A normal convo with a girl stops there. If you want to continue, this is the moment.
I personally will ask "Anything new?" that's if she didn't start it by herself. You can even ask How is life treating you?
The whole point is to make her lead the discussion.

Simplest trick, stop being lazy about coming out of your shell. Make extroverted friends especially the Warri type. Listen to comedy shows (you need to prep your sense of humour).
And then try my master recipe: Make two new female friend every week.

Hope that helps?? undecided

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by OneKinGuy(m): 10:48pm On Dec 07, 2019
Same here, Really need help cry
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by traihit: 10:48pm On Dec 07, 2019
Yamleg:
I'm an INTROVERT too to the core.
I'm married, I find it extremely hard to call my wife family members and mine.
It's just in me.
My phone is my best friend. I have no friends at all.
I hate myself when my phone is down.

Though I'm not married and probably shouldn't be advising a married man yet, sometimes you need to deliberately turn off your phone and have a relaxing communication with your wife. I'm very much introverted too and one way to get me bored in my free time is to take away my laptop and phone. But even with this, I'd still find something to read or write. Please, don't let your phone be your best friend, that should be your wife. If you won't open up to any other person in the world, open up to her or just free yourself around her with phone away from you.

1 Like

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by Loladearewa01: 10:50pm On Dec 07, 2019
olumbest:


I'm like you. Well, let's say, was like you. I asked same question 'What do they talk about?'

Come closer.

1. This is not an advise. I'm only sharing some part of my stupidity and how I was able to help myself.

2. Girls don't need you to speak. They're not that patient, just listen.

3. Before they can speak for you to listen, you need to initiate the talk. Simple thing,be interested in her. Get comfortable with telling her stupid things -- small talks for ladies.

4. Read a book on small talks, Leil Lowandes wrote about ninety something tricks on how to start one. Just don't be lazy about trying them out.

5. I still haven't told you what you speak of for 2-hours. Listen to this:

Me: Hi Hun, how d'u do?
Bae: I'm good, you?
Me: Fine.
After pleasantries.
Me: How did your day go?
Bae: It was fine.

A normal convo with a girl stops there. If you want to continue, this is the moment.
I personally will ask "Anything new?" that's if she didn't start it by herself. You can even ask How is life treating you?
The whole point is to make her lead the discussion.

Simplest trick, stop being lazy about coming out of your shell. Make extroverted friends especially the Warri type. Listen to comedy shows (you need to prep your sense of humour).
And then try my master recipe: Make two new female friend every week.

Hope that helps?? undecided
Wow I love this
Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by frozen70(f): 10:52pm On Dec 07, 2019
Loladearewa01:
I am a staunch introvert, the kind that stays at home all day I really hate small talks and I can't talk to people for more than 5minutes.

When I call a lady hardly can we talk for a minute. Infact I hate calling. Now I had this experience when I visited my aunty and an ex of mine happen to stay in the same compound.

I noticed her boo calls her for like 2hours and she's always laughing with him. This was when I started realising my mistake when I was with her I hardly call and communicate and this has been happening with most of the ladies I meet and things are not working out.

Is there anyone with similar experience?

Are you asking for a semilar experience or a way out

Lack of communication is as bad as infidelity

Talk to your self and come out of the caged attitude you built for your self

Women talks by nature and wants to be with men who will entertain them with talks

Assuming you don't like to talk and she doesn't like to talk and both of you are at home, no light ?

That means the house will be as quiet as grave yard

1 Like

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by traihit: 10:55pm On Dec 07, 2019
OneKinGuy:
Same here, Really need help cry

One thing that has helped me is seeing American or British movies and ensuring I hear every word in it most especially when there's no subtitle. Another way is reading a wide variety of books. These two ways are the little push you can successfully give yourself.

You'll be surprised one day when someone will bring up an idea you've heard about in a movie or read about in a book. At this point, the knowledge you have will force you to talk and you'll find yourself talking effortlessly.

Another way is to identify your most comfortable zone (your friends whom you can discuss anything with). When you identify them, always look for opportunity to discuss ideas with them especially in the areas where you're most interested. This will make them respect and will inform your brain that you have something to offer. Knowing this, you'll never find it difficult to communicate.

Right now, I'm still working on myself too but like Ben Franklin, I'm more comfortable writing down ideas than explaining them. But with my closest friends, explaining ideas is as good as writing them.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Poor Communication Ability Is Killing My Relationship With Girls by bigl: 11:02pm On Dec 07, 2019
Loladearewa01:
I am a staunch introvert, the kind that stays at home all day I really hate small talks and I can't talk to people for more than 5minutes.

When I call a lady hardly can we talk for a minute. Infact I hate calling. Now I had this experience when I visited my aunty and an ex of mine happen to stay in the same compound.

I noticed her boo calls her for like 2hours and she's always laughing with him. This was when I started realising my mistake when I was with her I hardly call and communicate and this has been happening with most of the ladies I meet and things are not working out.

Is there anyone with similar experience?

Sure, u need to learn the ropes bro! I used to be like u too ... i could point u to some resources if u wish; to help take your ministry to the permanent site!

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