₦airaland Forum

jmaxjohn:
Butterscotch92 you must've heard lots of hurtful things here. Dm me for something insightful, some wise help.

That's the beauty of the Nigerian, they can be brutally honest. They don't super coat issues to make you feel good.

I hope Butterscotch92 takes the good and the bad advice and learn how to be a better person. She should never let her emotions override reason in the future. She should learn to be strong and take charge of her emotions, and never allow others to manipulate her emotionally.

ibkayee:
Yeah guys find it more difficult to look past a cheating partner because the mechanism for cheating allegedly differs across genders because women cheat with their heart or something so it's lEsS fOrGiVeAble but a man is just being a man when he does it obviously so iT's dIfFeReNt.

I don't know if this applies to your boyfriend however, not all guys have this mindset and for all I know he could expect you to react the same way if the roles were reversed. It's going to take time for him to heal is all I can say, whilst I wouldn't bank on him taking you back you know him more than we do and he may just need time, all the best

What do ladies offer in a relationship than sex ,men offer everything ,attention,time,money .just d little attention bf couldn't give her she went to spread her leg in a marries man car
So if a man cheat he has nothing to loose he is literally everything in the relationship but if a lady cheat she has everything to loose so she would bear a cheating bf ,because she has no choice not because she wants to so they are two different thing....

Ladies forgive a cheating guy because of thier selfish interest not because of love fpr the guy or because they are emotionally soft...
So dont come here and make it sound like women learn to forgive

You all ladies are gold digger's

AwkaetitiBabe:
Puta

Lunkhead

Since you refused to go to school , I will drag u to the dictionary by force.

Ornament2003:
Lunkhead

Since you refused to go to school , I will drag u to the dictionary by force.

Lol.. This back and forth must be putting a smile in your soul. Bye

Great6Pack:
The worst set of hypocrites in this world are men. You can go Bleep as you like either as married man or while dating but it is a taboo for her to do it.

Let it be known here that I am not in anyway in support of cheating while married or courting. But let the truth be told, if you access 10 men, married or courting, at least 6 of them had at one time had sex with someone not their mate. One thing is sure, if this babe is the one that the man confessed to, she will happily forgive him and move ahead with the relationship.

Why can't men sometimes do same. Especially when you know your mate isn't promiscuous but was overtaken by moment of weakness?

Sis, please gather yourself together and concentrate on your work and life. I give you 3 months, a RESPONSIBLE guy will be dying to be your man. And if your present guy (soon to be ex) comes back, tell him he was in the past but you have moved on.

Please abuse me ONLY if you know you are innocent and never cheat. God is watching!!!

My problem, if you ask me, is that statement 'if you know she isn't promiscuous.'

It actually isn't about forgiving.
There is a way we are wired as men.

If a woman who bedded a stranger four times in the car isn't promiscuous, what then is?

Even the tongue and teeth clash in the mouth. The matter that made her vulnerable surely won't be the last. So at every semblance of a fight, she goes whining to a third party, and one thing will lead to another? Think about it.


Don't also forget this confession is coming because the nigga got suspicious. Matter of fact, his God is alive, else he would have caught them red handed.


It hurts me each time I have to say this, because I really feel for women who don't understand the way Elohim moulded this world. If Eve did not roll in the hay with Satan to produce Cain, equality of the sexes would have held sway. But because it happened that way, the punishment is subjugation to the male gender. A woman cannot have two living husbands and make heaven, but a man can, by the Bible.

Note that this is the unapologetic truth, and it is in no way supporting male philandering. Men should strive to be faithful too.


But I will not fail as well to inject that a man has no right to put away his WIFE because she cheated. I'm talking Scripture now. What God values in practical terms is MARRIAGE and not this excuse to fornicate called dating.

Erums:
This year has taught me alot on relationship. I dated a lady since 8th Dec 2018, she cheated on me with numerous guys at different times, I was broken, really shattered...
I forgave her.. But trusting wasn't easy.

Now instead of her to help amend back the trust.

She now starts keeping tabs with male bestie
Having relations with her married ex
Even comparing me to new man she met and saying that he such a gentle man and knows how to care for a lady.

That is he wasn't AS by genotype she would have left me fr him..

Now that was when my eyes really cleared.. I have lost confidence because I was literally doing everything to convince her otherwise not to take dat step.

Well I braced up... Took control of the relationship, bleeped her like mad.... Break up, make up, break up, make up again like 5 times...

Now I'm done... Im. Leaving...


Lesson of this is ; don't hurt people dat truly love u, love is dangerous, if they get so hurt it can be miserable for u...

I just made her know dere is no future and she started making plans of how to get pregnant for me....

I let her know I'm. Done... Even if she get pregnant by any means me... I can't trust her

I broke up with her 9th Dec 2019....i year of good lessons to ever live with...


Let him go... Cos u done alot of damage.... Well u repentant... Fixing the trust back is gonna be difficult...

one cold origin for you!!!

Katsuke:
Well in your bid to sound like a strong man, you actually came out as a weak one, sorry to say.
Beta Male for that fact, I'm not bashing, just stating the obvious

pepper dem Gang

DenreleDave:
You only know about yourself dear... You don't know about her.. If sumone can go collect preeq inside car for four times of which I know she lied, probably more than that bcox she goes with him in the car to work everyday.

Dear.. Trust ursef, what if she still cheat again, can u vouch for her??

There are those doing it without any form of guilt or regret.
Hers is d opposite.
I believe every human deserve as many chance we can give to them until we see d desired change. That is true love.

Woman you didn't do well at all.
It will be hard for him to forget.
He will even have thoughts like maybe he doesn't do it well that's why you gave it to someone else several times.
If you are taken back, don't imagine it again.



Though I am seeing a whole lot of faithful partners up here.

thelish:
There are those doing it without any form of guilt or regret.
Hers is d opposite.
I believe every human deserve as many chance we can give to them until we see d desired change. That is true love.

Dear, women cheat with emotions.

If na once, it forgivable but 4 times

One thing u wunt accept is that, if her Bf forgives her and she later come across dt colleague again, any move by him will be successful... He already developed sumtin for the colleague but she can't admit it here online so as to gain sympathy

thelish:
There are those doing it without any form of guilt or regret.
Hers is d opposite.
I believe every human deserve as many chance we can give to them until we see d desired change. That is true love.

Not every human deserves many chances. That's where u got it wrong

theButterfly:
According to your post, he already said he forgave you (which is respectable of him), but that he doesn't want a relationship with you anymore (which shows he's a man w| standards). You can't expect any sane person to continue a r|ship w| someone who has cheated on them (had sex with another party) not once but four times. Girl, put yourself in his shoes.

Trust is very difficult to repair once it's broken.

Move on and learn from this.

Coming from a sensible woman

Wait o, so now your single?

Butterscotch92:
I know I deserve all the bashing I'm receiving here and more. But I wonder why it's very difficult for most to believe that I'm actually repentant about the whole thing. I know I really hurt my man which is part of my pain. I can never repeat such action no matter the circumstances with what I've learnt and I believe if I am lucky enough to get a second chance I'll be a much better version of myself and be forever grateful. It happened in the car because I wouldn't have agreed to follow him elsewhere by then it would be premeditated. I rejected every of his attempt to meet him anywhere else. Those were moments of weakness although it cannot be justified.

thelish:
There are those doing it without any form of guilt or regret.
Hers is d opposite.
I believe every human deserve as many chance we can give to them until we see d desired change. That is true love.

did you just say tru love, my dear, those are stories for children storybooks....No matter how you love someone, there is always another person that will attract your interest. Am advocating that we all enjoy sex freely, both man and woman, anybody that can't cope with cheating should be allowed to leave.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Lol.. This back and forth must be putting a smile in your soul. Bye

Bye Oaf.
;



It's a lot of fun schooling a pinhead

superlanny:
did you just say tru love, my dear, those are stories for children storybooks....No matter how you love someone, there is always another person that will attract your interest. Am advocating that we all enjoy sex freely, both man and woman, anybody that can't cope with cheating should be allowed to leave.

and men generally CANNOT cope with cheating. Once a man finds out, It’s the end.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Lol.. This back and forth must be putting a smile in your soul. Bye

Bye Oaf.
;



It's a lot of fun schooling a pinhead

Ornament2003:
Bye Oaf.
;



It's a lot of fun schooling a pinhead

Lol, sadistic morafaka, take your nastiness outa my mention

babyfaceafrica:
The mistake some of you ladies make is that you love blindly. If a man cannot forgive your offence, no matter what, while dating; I can bet your marriage with such a one will be hellish; because you're not Angel, and you're prone to mistake, even in marriage.



hope you know many people have standards which they themselves do adhere to,if a man doesn't cheat and a lady does why should he forgive and forget when he himself abhors the act.i tell people forgiving on that has wrong you is easy, forgetting and getting back the trust is very hard.Trust and loyalty are like egg delicate and once broken cannot be mend.i will rather a man comes out boldly to say I have forgiven you but I don't trust you again like the man said ,than he just pretending to forgive but seeking revenge in the future!.You can't be immoral and force people to be moral

It all depends on your background; Where you're coming from and all that.

I think it's easier for me now to even forgive more, having seen the light of Christ Jesus.

Those of us who are followers of Christ, are engaged to Jesus. But then, we cheat on Him many times by compromise; & yet when we confess our sins, He forgives ; and our sins would not be mentioned again.
Botromline: If you're in Christ forgiveness become a lot easier.

Abimbola29:
one cold origin for you!!!

Nice one homie

poik:
But I will not fail as well to inject that a man has no right to put away his WIFE because she cheated. I'm talking Scripture now. What God values in practical terms is MARRIAGE and not this excuse to fornicate called dating.

Which scriptures are you talking? Definitely not the bible. Maybe the bhagavad gita.
Here is the bible quote concerning divorce as it relates to cheating by women.

Matthew 19:9
" And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery"

Now if you are having difficulty understanding the king James version, here is the New living translation;
Matthew 19:9
"And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery— unless his wife has been unfaithful "

TonyeBarcanista:
Only a foolish guy will waste his precious time to grant audience to a cheating ex GF...

Can you swear with your mothers names that since you have been dating your girlfriend you have never cheated outside your relationship.

Na man cheat pass

DenreleDave:
Dear, women cheat with emotions.

If na once, it forgivable but 4 times

One thing u wunt accept is that, if her Bf forgives her and she later come across dt colleague again, any move by him will be successful... He already developed sumtin for the colleague but she can't admit it here online so as to gain sympathy

Hmmmmmmmm

DenreleDave:
Not every human deserves many chances. That's where u got it wrong

Ok

superlanny:
did you just say tru love, my dear, those are stories for children storybooks....No matter how you love someone, there is always another person that will attract your interest. Am advocating that we all enjoy sex freely, both man and woman, anybody that can't cope with cheating should be allowed to leave.

Thanks.

wirinet:
Which scriptures are you talking? Definitely not the bible. Maybe the bhagavad gita.
Here is the bible quote concerning divorce as it relates to cheating by women.

Matthew 19:9
" And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery"

Now if you are having difficulty understanding the king James version, here is the New living translation;
Matthew 19:9
"And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery— unless his wife has been unfaithful "

I wonder what Bible you are quoting.

Thats the problem we are having with all of these deliberate translations to suit people's whims, but God has no hand in.

That portion says except for FORNICATION, not sexual immorality, in the KIng James that i know.

Meaning that you can put away your wife for the things she did with her body before she met you, and she refused to disclose to you before the consummation of the marriage, not what she did after the both of you are married.

That is why at repentance we confess our sins in our past life to Christ our husband, before He takes us in, and we take his surname in baptism, of course the correct way, by immersion in deep waters in the name of Jesus Christ.

You put your wife away because she cheated on you, you become an adulterer.

Na was o, you people need to write your own bible so you can write whatever doctrine you wish to propagate.

poik:
I wonder what Bible you are quoting.

Thats the problem we are having with all of these deliberate translations to suit people's whims, but God has no hand in.

That portion says except for FORNICATION, not sexual immorality, in the KIng James that i know.

Here is the original king James version of Matthew 19:9;
"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication , and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery"
Now explain to me how you put away your wife for fornication.

Meaning that you can put away your wife for the things she did with her body before she met you, and she refused to disclose to you before the consummation of the marriage, not what she did after the both of you are married.

Where did you get this your doctrine? Certainly not from the bible. No where in the bible did it say you can put away your wife for the things she did with her body before she met you, just because she did not disclose all her body count.
I wonder how it even makes sense. You married a lady and 10 years later you discovered she had one or even numerous boyfriends in school whom she had slept with (Mind you, you did not meet her a virgin). You then go to your church and demand a divorce from in your church and court, citing Matthew 19:9 as justification. You pastor will think you are crazy.

That is why at repentance we confess our sins in our past life to Christ our husband, before He takes us in, and we take his surname in baptism, of course the correct way, by immersion in deep waters in the name of Jesus Christ.

Bullshit, very misogynistic. What about the husband? Does he also need to confess all his past sins to his intended wife? When you marry, you marry as is, the past is in the past.

You put your wife away because she cheated on you, you become an adulterer.

Is that so? You congratulate and encourage your wife to cheat? So what happens if your wife is pregnant for another man?

Shibaraba:
I'm here to bash and I will do so thoroughly. My name is shibaraba and I don't mince words.

Not once, not twice but thrice. Well Peter denied Jesus three times. Your man is not Jesus. And I hope he never forgives you.
How dare you.
I'm feeling his pain as I speak.
As in My personal punna somebody nack am. No be even for better hotel.... For inside car. Abasimikipanyong. Cheating is a process. What lead you to do it once it's sure you'll do it again.
Me advice for you, better continue nacking your colleague and leave your man. For if I was your man, we will keep dating till My wedding day... With another. Turn you to lord of the rings. You go turn maid, cook, driver, anything I want and I still won't marry you. For I will always see you as an okpo. And anytime you come back from an outing na soso sperm I go dey smell around you because e go be me like say you just go lick preeq finish.
No vex... Na my mind I talk. Truth is bitter. This is the truth

God! shey you see this your pikin?

EngrMarve:
Well I don't do girlfriend, does she need your forgiveness since you are not married to her? You are fornicating with someone's daughter and the dad is forgiving you, why don't you forgive her?

I do wife.
If she cheats I forgive her, that is love.

Nice reply though but out of context. It is obvious you didn't read but replied according to the headline.

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

I think you should keep fucking that married colleague because between your ex and him, he would be super happy to bang your brains out and you won't have to worry about the other guy.

Think about it.

wirinet:
Na was o, you people need to write your own bible so you can write whatever doctrine you wish to propagate.


Here is the original king James version of Matthew 19:9;
"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication , and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery"
Now explain to me how you put away your wife for fornication.


Where did you get this your doctrine? Certainly not from the bible. No where in the bible did it say you can put away your wife for the things she did with her body before she met you, just because she did not disclose all her body count.
I wonder how it even makes sense. You married a lady and 10 years later you discovered she had one or even numerous boyfriends in school whom she had slept with (Mind you, you did not meet her a virgin). You then go to your church and demand a divorce from in your church and court, citing Matthew 19:9 as justification. You pastor will think you are crazy.


Bullshit, very misogynistic. What about the husband? Does he also need to confess all his past sins to his intended wife? When you marry, you marry as is, the past is in the past.



Is that so? You congratulate and encourage your wife to cheat? So what happens if your wife is pregnant for another man?

1. Fornication is sexual relationship that involves an unmarried person. Adultery has to do with sexual relationship involving a married person. Except for fornication there means you cannot put your wife away for any cause except there is fornication. Does it click now?

2. If what is written there sounds misogynistic to you, then God is misogynistic. It is clear in Genesis 3: he shall rule over you, referring to the woman. Have you wondered why women were not included in head counts in those days? Why it is forbidden for a woman to preach till today? Why a woman has no business with the altar when she is in her cycle?

Like I said at the beginning of my submission it hurts even me when I say this truth, because most laws in the Bible are more stringent on women. Adam was a direct product of God. Eve was a by-product. That is one, and she killed every hope of equality by allowing the serpent have carnal knowledge of her. As far as a man and a woman is involved there is no equality, regardless of how many feminists there are in the world today.

3. If my wife is pregnant for another man and I put her away, I remain a bachelor for life. But if she fornicated before I married her and I get to know later, I can divorce her. That portion is easy to grasp, Matthew 19.

It looks unfair, the plight of women, but God knows exactly what He is doing. That's why the disciples said if it is so, then not every one can marry. Think about it.

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