KanuSE:


I'm sorry, sense is far from you.

Have a good day

chriskosherbal:


Being the last male in the family I stayed with family for a longtime before I left, and I must say mother's are wonderful but can choke a man to death sometimes if that man lack emotional shockabsolver when things start to fall apart especially finance, Seeing my mum cry complaining to me

bdchange:

I think you are taking it too far. Reconciling with his father won't stop his love towards his mother or care he ought to give to her. Moreover you can't disregard his father side of the story if he has the chance to hear him out. There are some instances where the mother will forcefully take the child away from the father neglecting the repercussion. At least a case study is clearly seen in Tonto Dike's case now. She even drag the father to court to stop him from seeing his own child ooo. Who does that for Christ's sake? So you see there always two sides to a coin.

IceColdVeins:
Not that bro. I will always be on the side of every loyal woman and will treat them with love as well.
But I have now come to terms with the fact that no one is perfect, especially when it comes to marriage. During my childhood, I never saw things from the perspective OF my dad, we only kept on listening to mom's wailings(she suffered truthfully) but we never get to hear his own side of the story cos
a man never shows emotions. My reconcilation with dad is not a pat on his head for his wrongdoings but a move to make peace within myself.
You'll understand when you have a disagreement with your wife and your own children start taking sides.
I'm just trying a retrace my steps and lay a good foundation for my unborn children.

kallmemrB:
I am a big foool...it would have favored me to learn from sensible posts but due to the fact that I am destined for a curse I will look for it

CHoccolaTE:


This is exactly what I was thinking while going through this thread,
See how I felt cold while reading the justification these people gave for their fathers behaviour, they cannot control their urge to blame women for everything.
They agree that the father maltreated mom but are now twisting it by saying their mother manipulated them into being on her side, she nagged, she did so and so
Can you imagine the ungratefulness to the only parent who was there for you through thick and thin?
Go back to your dad if you want but dont be unfortunate by bad mouthing your mother for your dads bad behaviour, even if she did the nagging and emotional whatever you people are claiming THAT DOES NOT JUSTIFY your dad abandoning you. He could have gotten family to mediate, he could have separated from her but continued to show interest and concern for you.

But here you ungrateful brats are, after your mother raised you you want to still blame her for your dad abandoning you.


I really pity single moms raising boys, if they know what is good for them they will try as much as possible to get support from their sperm donor because men will always support each other over women no matter the rubbish the other party does.

I am very sure Op's dad is rich because he mentioned the man building houses everywhere. Maybe he wants to have a taste of his dads wealth that's what is really fueling this reconciliation and bad mouthing his mother.

KanuSE:


Sense is far from you and the earlier you knew this the better.

midnighter:


I am not trying to trivialise or dismiss the pain of mothers but the truth is that at times, they complain too much to the child and put them in the middle of things when that child doesnt even understand how the quarrel started.

Its not the child's fault that you are unhappy in your marriage; its not fair to keep lamenting and saddling them with unnecessary emotional baggage.

If you need somebody to confide in, to talk an adult who can properly console and advise you and dont keep dumping your emotions on your child

Your mother had a right to feel upset BUT shouldnt have put her tears on your shoulders; it just ended up pushing you away at the end

Its not a good behaviour at all; people should find the proper channels to field their emotions and not use their children... children are fragile to emotional stressors already without you adding your own

BLEMOSEDU:

What are you bitching about?
Are you angry that he made peace with his father? So you want him to keep hating his father despite now seeing things clearer? Nawaaa o
@op never listen to any negative opinion, one thing I always tell all boys/men is no matter the relationship you had with your father while growing up, never ever fail to find out why your father acted the way he did, hear him out before passing judgment, no matter what your mother may have told you about him, when you have come of age. Because what goes around definitely comes around.

Neddstark:


Dad once hurt me. Im happy I forgave him. We are in wonderful terms now

bdchange:

What do you mean by do better? He has also taken her to court to have joint custody but Tonto is trying every means to stop the effort. See there are toxic people even if you don't want to accept that, and Tonto is one of them.

Ryan03:
the fact they most of you had/have dads who will move mountains for them doesn't mean it was same for everyone. I will quote you in a post so you tell me how to forgive such simply because he is a DAD.

SmartyPants:


This is a simple thread on a man forgiving his father. Seems like you are on a mission of your own... Why not start your own thread?

BRATISLAVA:
you sound like one of the bitchy nags I earlier mentioned. If you like abuse your wife and kids. The children will only return to you out of fear. And maybe they will learn to be like you.

kallmemrB:
no point...bark

OBAGADAFFI:
Why are some people here bitter that the young man is reconciling with his Father?

Martinez39:



These are the malicious and wicked souls who insist, subtly, that op maintain the discord between him and his father. Even though IceColdVeins never mentioned specifically what his mum suffered in the hands of his father, they readily assumed his father was a cold-hearted beast who meted cruel and grievous treatments to his wife. Of course, these three women, in typical fashion, act like women can do no wrong and men are beasts. IceColdVeins, I congratulate you on bonding with your father. Do not let these three demons and their kind sway you from what you have done. It's a shame that they cherish the discord in family because of their "women are angels, men are beast that should be hated and punished" mentality.

Notice how Graxie disdains the fact that children try to establish connections with their fathers (to hear their own side of the story and, possibly, reconcile) even though the mother brought them up. To her, the children distancing themselves from their fathers is an apt reward to a mother who brought them up. Notice how she typed "some will even claim you manipulated them" as though this is a misapprehension in all cases of parental alienation. To her, bringing up children is not worth it if they would try to make up with fathers in future. This mindset of Graxie is shared by all women, especially feminists.

No human is perfect. If a human being own up to their offences and past misdeeds and are sincerely willing to make things right, who is to say they do not deserve a second chance? IceColdVeins, carry go.


CAPSLOCKED, Ubunja, emmaodet, JONNYSPUTE, AstroG, Omar09

crackhaus:

You're probably one of the only ones here who actually has working neurons in the brain. I've been following this since yesterday and wondering why people were antagonizing the OP.

Angelfrost:


You have no idea how Nigerian fathers are stuck stubbornly in the belief that giving life to a child is the highest achievement ever... The negligence of this generation of fathers is incredulous.

Our generation has got to do much better.

NoToPile:
Loool, so the moral is never ever train your child alone as a woman, las las the they would say they didn't listen to their father's point of view for abandoning them at some point in their lives.





A father has no excuse for abandoning his children (even if its just for a few years) irrespective of his issues with their mum.


Op you can reconcile with your dad, but dont EVER try to water down the sufferings of your mum.


From the comments this thread going the lane of another operation blame the woman thread.

luminouz:


I feel your points.
The scenario you described happens more than often. I had to be very logical too while young or I would have resented my dad. I opened my eyes,saw things from his perspectives and knew that man would sell his soul to make his children prosper. He proved it to us all. Financial downturns sometimes make women very unruly at home and I understood that too. They are still together and waxing strong and I have learnt a valuable lesson.

Leave Bratislava alone. Dude or chick is running on emotional fumes and I totally get that.

Martinez39:



These are the malicious and wicked souls who insist, subtly, that op maintain the discord between him and his father. Even though IceColdVeins never mentioned specifically what his mum suffered in the hands of his father, they readily assumed his father was a cold-hearted beast who meted cruel and grievous treatments to his wife. Of course, these three women, in typical fashion, act like women can do no wrong and men are beasts. IceColdVeins, I congratulate you on bonding with your father. Do not let these three demons and their kind sway you from what you have done. It's a shame that they cherish the discord in family because of their "women are angels, men are beast that should be hated and punished" mentality.

Notice how Graxie disdains the fact that children try to establish connections with their fathers (to hear their own side of the story and, possibly, reconcile) even though the mother brought them up. To her, the children distancing themselves from their fathers is an apt reward to a mother who brought them up. Notice how she typed "some will even claim you manipulated them" as though this is a misapprehension in all cases of parental alienation. To her, bringing up children is not worth it if they would try to make up with fathers in future. This mindset of Graxie is shared by all women, especially feminists.

No human is perfect. If a human being own up to their offences and past misdeeds and are sincerely willing to make things right, who is to say they do not deserve a second chance? IceColdVeins, carry go.


CAPSLOCKED, Ubunja, emmaodet, JONNYSPUTE, AstroG, Omar09