₦airaland Forum

Beverlyjean:
A friend of mine is in desperate need of advice... She had unprotected sex with a married man... Her fear now is that she feels it might affect her in the future because she knew he was married before she did it...

She regrets her actions... She said she never planned it, although the man had always been disturbing her, but she felt she could control the situation when she visited him, but one thing led to another after a couple of drinks and they ended up having unprotected sex.

The man in question is old enough to be her father according to her but she still doesn't know why she did what she did because at that time she was having relationship issues. She has ended all ties with the man but her fear is that if what she did will affect her in the future because she doesn't want her future husband to ever cheat on her.

She is so broken now and confused... Again she doesn't know how her next boyfriend will think she's that type of person that sleeps with married men if he finds out what she did, because her boyfriend ended the relationship when she told him, although it happened before they met. She doesn't want her next boyfriend to treat her with disrespect if he finds out or make her loose her value.

IAmStrange:
Thanks for your input.

first note thAt I am not a scholar neither am I a person of knowledge. I'm very much a student; a beginner at that. So I can make mistakes in my speech and of which Islam itself doesn't approve. So my sayings should ultimately be regarded as the Islamic ruling.

Beverlyjean:
A friend of mine is in desperate need of advice... She had unprotected sex with a married man... Her fear now is that she feels it might affect her in the future because she knew he was married before she did it...

She regrets her actions... She said she never planned it, although the man had always been disturbing her, but she felt she could control the situation when she visited him, but one thing led to another after a couple of drinks and they ended up having unprotected sex.

The man in question is old enough to be her father according to her but she still doesn't know why she did what she did because at that time she was having relationship issues. She has ended all ties with the man but her fear is that if what she did will affect her in the future because she doesn't want her future husband to ever cheat on her.

She is so broken now and confused... Again she doesn't know how her next boyfriend will think she's that type of person that sleeps with married men if he finds out what she did, because her boyfriend ended the relationship when she told him, although it happened before they met. She doesn't want her next boyfriend to treat her with disrespect if he finds out or make her loose her value.

Beverlyjean:
A friend of mine is in desperate need of advice... She had unprotected sex with a married man... Her fear now is that she feels it might affect her in the future because she knew he was married before she did it...

She regrets her actions... She said she never planned it, although the man had always been disturbing her, but she felt she could control the situation when she visited him, but one thing led to another after a couple of drinks and they ended up having unprotected sex.

The man in question is old enough to be her father according to her but she still doesn't know why she did what she did because at that time she was having relationship issues. She has ended all ties with the man but her fear is that if what she did will affect her in the future because she doesn't want her future husband to ever cheat on her.

She is so broken now and confused... Again she doesn't know how her next boyfriend will think she's that type of person that sleeps with married men if he finds out what she did, because her boyfriend ended the relationship when she told him, although it happened before they met. She doesn't want her next boyfriend to treat her with disrespect if he finds out or make her loose her value.

IAmStrange:
I hope you get my point now.

Beverlyjean:
her fear is that if what she did will affect her in the future because she doesn't want her future husband to ever cheat on her.

Beverlyjean:
she doesn't know how her next boyfriend will think she's that type of person that sleeps with married men if he finds out what she did, because her boyfriend ended the relationship when she told him, although it happened before they met. She doesn't want her next boyfriend to treat her with disrespect if he finds out or make her loose her value.

midnighter:
Before answering you I should say that I followed you because I like your conduct and appreciate your good manners. (Though I was slightly afraid of that Imes stuff lol)

I disagree with Islam and what it stands for but you are a good representative of it, especially with the level of petty trolling and religious antagonism present on this forum.

Your comportment is graceful and worthy of note.

IAmStrange:
Thanks for all your words except the emboldened

But that's no biggie by the way because conversely, I don't agree with Christianity too.

As for being scared concerning Imes, I'm not trying to scare you...

but know this...

Whoever's heart is against the truth and he stubbornly clings to Falsehood after Imes comes will probably be in constant fear of Imes

So if you feel this way and then you continue on your path - I don't mean to scare you please - but the fear you have now may just be the beginning

midnighter:
Yes, I understand you now. I think we are in agreement. As far as I can see, all you object to is the use of the word "punishment" instead of "test". Which I prefer to call "discipline".

In fact this dichotomy actually arose from two issues that the OP raised:



This is the type of spiritual consequence or "category 1" you mentioned. Which we both agree is not going to happen as far as she is remorseful
OR may still happen, NOT because of what she may or may not have done in the past, but simply because bad stuff happens to people sometimes.

But part of the ladys problem is still this:

That is natural consequence, or "category 2", which I think we agree is possible because of the nature of the past action that may warrant it.

So the solution is still for her to accept her mistake and move on from the past, keeping in mind that the physical consequences of her action may still arise in the future BUT not allowing that possibility to drag her into a depression.

midnighter:
Lol I am not in fear of Imes; I am disconcerted by the way information about him is currently being disseminated.

If there was info to read about him that was free to access there would be nothing sinister about it.

The shadowy way you keep dropping hints makes it sound like a cult and not a reformation

Jewessgratitude:
Why would she go about telling guys about her past? Are they pure themselves?
Let her not divulge it to any man again. It happened in the past, let it remain in the past. Its not any body's business!

She should simply go on her kneels to God in prayers and ask for forgiveness. Repent genuinely and never do it again.

As for whether it will haunt her in future, she has nothing to fear as Long as she's genuinely repented nothing will haunt her but she has to marry a genuine born again brother for such not to occur cos with a non born again, I can't vouch or say he won't cheat as that is the order of the day for non born again men.

Shalom

IAmStrange:
I drop hints about him because the inspirations cone gradually

so I drop them as they come.

That's not really my fault!

IAmStrange:
Eventually, we are on the same page. But thanks for your criticisms anyways

Beverlyjean:
A friend of mine is in desperate need of advice... She had unprotected sex with a married man... Her fear now is that she feels it might affect her in the future because she knew he was married before she did it...

She regrets her actions... She said she never planned it, although the man had always been disturbing her, but she felt she could control the situation when she visited him, but one thing led to another after a couple of drinks and they ended up having unprotected sex.

The man in question is old enough to be her father according to her but she still doesn't know why she did what she did because at that time she was having relationship issues. She has ended all ties with the man but her fear is that if what she did will affect her in the future because she doesn't want her future husband to ever cheat on her.

She is so broken now and confused... Again she doesn't know how her next boyfriend will think she's that type of person that sleeps with married men if he finds out what she did, because her boyfriend ended the relationship when she told him, although it happened before they met. She doesn't want her next boyfriend to treat her with disrespect if he finds out or make her loose her value.

Beverlyjean:
A friend of mine is in desperate need of advice... She had unprotected sex with a married man... Her fear now is that she feels it might affect her in the future because she knew he was married before she did it...

She regrets her actions... She said she never planned it, although the man had always been disturbing her, but she felt she could control the situation when she visited him, but one thing led to another after a couple of drinks and they ended up having unprotected sex.

The man in question is old enough to be her father according to her but she still doesn't know why she did what she did because at that time she was having relationship issues. She has ended all ties with the man but her fear is that if what she did will affect her in the future because she doesn't want her future husband to ever cheat on her.

She is so broken now and confused... Again she doesn't know how her next boyfriend will think she's that type of person that sleeps with married men if he finds out what she did, because her boyfriend ended the relationship when she told him, although it happened before they met. She doesn't want her next boyfriend to treat her with disrespect if he finds out or make her loose her value.

Beverlyjean:
Why is it difficult for people to believe what is not true... I said it's my friend and I promised to bring it up on nairaland... If it was me, I would have used another Moniker

mukthar2000:
but she felt she could control the situation when she visited him, but one thing led to another after a couple of drinks and they ended up having unprotected sex.

What make u visit him when u no that u don't have interest in him, and u even still take drink, is better u end up with him

Acme45:
the problem is not just having sex with a married man but taking various sizes and shapes must affect marriages. During the time of y
Our mothers and fathers, even if the man married more women it's better than this present generation whereby a girl would ve tested all before marriage thereby taking nothing to the husband's �, shame on this generation

Ladycewhy:
Beverlyjean Mindset is the key, people butcher a full human being and sell the parts for 1k in this country yet they still sleep soundly and go about their daily lives like nothing happened.


Tell her i said "na dick she fvck ,she nor kill person". A married man is the one bound by an oath to his partner,should the universe want to mete out punishment it should start from the married man. I know a man who boasts to anyone who cares to listen of how he married his wife a virgin but he is a community dick. So this how it will affect her is just superstitious nonsense. Men even cheat on wives they married as virgins these days.


Tell your friend to stop self sabotaging herself what you think about your self transforms in to the energy you send to the universe. Let her go for test to make sure she didn't contact disease from him.

Acme45:
the problem is not just having sex with a married man but taking various sizes and shapes must affect marriages. During the time of y...
Our mothers and fathers, even if the man married more women it's better than this present generation whereby a girl would ve tested all before marriage thereby taking nothing to the husband's �, shame on this generation

tot:
Heya, you think everyone is like you that has time to be creating multiple monikers

Beverlyjean:
A friend of mine is in desperate need of advice... She had unprotected sex with a married man... Her fear now is that she feels it might affect her in the future because she knew he was married before she did it...

She regrets her actions... She said she never planned it, although the man had always been disturbing her, but she felt she could control the situation when she visited him, but one thing led to another after a couple of drinks and they ended up having unprotected sex.

The man in question is old enough to be her father according to her but she still doesn't know why she did what she did because at that time she was having relationship issues. She has ended all ties with the man but her fear is that if what she did will affect her in the future because she doesn't want her future husband to ever cheat on her.

She is so broken now and confused... Again she doesn't know how her next boyfriend will think she's that type of person that sleeps with married men if he finds out what she did, because her boyfriend ended the relationship when she told him, although it happened before they met. She doesn't want her next boyfriend to treat her with disrespect if he finds out or make her loose her value.

Beverlyjean:
A friend of mine is in desperate need of advice... She had unprotected sex with a married man... Her fear now is that she feels it might affect her in the future because she knew he was married before she did it...

She regrets her actions... She said she never planned it, although the man had always been disturbing her, but she felt she could control the situation when she visited him, but one thing led to another after a couple of drinks and they ended up having unprotected sex.

The man in question is old enough to be her father according to her but she still doesn't know why she did what she did because at that time she was having relationship issues. She has ended all ties with the man but her fear is that if what she did will affect her in the future because she doesn't want her future husband to ever cheat on her

She is so broken now and confused... Again she doesn't know how her next boyfriend will think she's that type of person that sleeps with married men if he finds out what she did, because her boyfriend ended the relationship when she told him, although it happened before they met. She doesn't want her next boyfriend to treat her with disrespect if he finds out or make her loose her value.

Beverlyjean:
A friend of mine is in desperate need of advice... She had unprotected sex with a married man... Her fear now is that she feels it might affect her in the future because she knew he was married before she did it...

She regrets her actions... She said she never planned it, although the man had always been disturbing her, but she felt she could control the situation when she visited him, but one thing led to another after a couple of drinks and they ended up having unprotected sex.

The man in question is old enough to be her father according to her but she still doesn't know why she did what she did because at that time she was having relationship issues. She has ended all ties with the man but her fear is that if what she did will affect her in the future because she doesn't want her future husband to ever cheat on her.

She is so broken now and confused... Again she doesn't know how her next boyfriend will think she's that type of person that sleeps with married men if he finds out what she did, because her boyfriend ended the relationship when she told him, although it happened before they met. She doesn't want her next boyfriend to treat her with disrespect if he finds out or make her loose her value.