Don't ever contact her again. Be a man and quit the stupid apologies. She got what she asked for

[quote author=GraGra247 post=84941054]

Op, Please don't listen to this stupid advice.

Op you committed two crimes.

1. You came back home by 2am - a thing I'm certain you won't tolerate from your wife.

2. When she complained you had the guts to slap her to the extent she bled from her mouth and nose.

You deserve to be in jail.

Go and buy goat and 5 cartons of drinks to appease your inlaws and your wife else she shouldn't come back to you.

You are a fake man. I'd advice u go for surgery and turn urself to a woman cos you are not a man. even if he comes home at 3am, she should never have reacted that way and at that time. She's an untrained woman. Why engage a man intoxicated by alcohol, she got exactly what she wanted. she was shouting, the man left the bedroom for her,isn't that enough to show he wanted peace? You cannot violently control or correct ur hubby. A wise woman wud have ignored the hubby at that time .she shud be thankful the man came home safely to say the least. There are many nonviolent ways a woman of the house can deal with her hubby, you should never ever raise your hands on ur hubby no matter the situation or circumstances, never.. then tel me what right the in-laws have to come to his house and take his wife and kids? They can take their daughter if they so please, but they have zero right over his child or children. Never.

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

Unless there are underlying issues you are not revealing here.
If this is the only thing that happened, lock up. Don't call them again, don't pick their calls until they bring your wife back. Then warn them her brother and mother never to interfere in your marriage again.
Take your power back. How can they come to tell you rubbish in your house. Abi you dey collect food from them.
Cause I don't see why any man who is in charge of his affairs would be worried over this little thing.
Na you be first man to come by 2am?

Get off my mentions....... bloodyfooool. Keep your stupid prayers, I don't need them. No husband who beats his wife deserves her love/respect. If he does not beg and take her back who's gonna lose? Highest is he will remarry, his wife is very very young, she will also remarry. Only the child will suffer. A real man walks out of such situations, real men should not hit women.

chinchonglee:

Ur dumbness amuses me!!!
Pray u marry a man dat will even be humble enough to apologise.
I came back to my house by 2am nd one nonsense person is yelling at me. Nt dat i went to cheat or...

daddytime:
No matter wetin you do brother, this marriage na manage e no go last. Sorry, but this is the honest truth.

A precedent has been set, so, at the slightest provocation, your in law's will March down to move their pikin.

Get smart...

If na me, na dem go beg me to come carry my wife back....

How old is this wife by the way?

NB

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I can get your quality shoes, and even replicas at a fair price. Check my wha tsapp status updates for some exciting wears. contact +234806. 531,6307. Shoes, sneakers, Sandals and boot. We can supply your boutique within short notice!

Op I guess there are two things you need to get rid of....
1. The kind of friends you mingle with and
2. Alcohol

One reason that I don't take any alcoholic drinks is the tendency for one to temporarily lose their self consciousness.

Try to make contact with her with the promise that such behavior won't happen again!
However,if begging doesn't work,chill and relax,if she loves you,she will show up!

LilMissFavvy:
Bastarrrdd......goddamned son of a ''G''.

E pain am.

Dear op
Getting advice from a forum like this tantamount to more worries about what to do. I'm also in a similar situation in my marriage, married for 2yrs now, no kids yet, sometimes I let my emotions take the best part of me, I verbally abuse my husband n sometimes throw times at him, on one occasion it injured him n he immediately contacted his mom n my uncle, I beg n beg he forgave me. about four months ago we had another quarrel n I hit him , immediately he called his mom n the mom starting advocating for our divorce I have bn begging her since then up till now she refuse my mom too said we should divorce. I begged my husband he said he forgave me, n then we started living fine again, just last week he said he no longer feels the marriage again that we shud divorce n I having bn begging him again since then, but now he said he needs time to think more about d divorce. Tho!, While all these things are happening we still live together o. I be never once pack my things n let not even a night out.
Op, what am trying to say it that our emotions leads us astray sometimes n when we realised our mistakes very well or clearly we become better/best version of ourselves. U know wats best for u , ur wife n ur kid fight for your marriage if that's what u want , keep begging if that's all u can do.
My husband and I don't leave in Nigeria, I am working n so is he. By Nigeria standard I can live very well without him, move to any country of my choice. But then I cannot live without him. I have bn seriously working on myself n to tell u the truth I am becoming the best version me, I just need him to let me love him best than I do before, I told him what's 2 yrs in 70 yrs plus marriage anniversary we shall celebrate, he shud just see those two years as courtship. Years of endless Love and respect lies ahead.

Ekene161829:
Thank you for you advise. I never done anything like it before and I taught I could never do such a thing thing to her and I regret everything. Normally we argue like any other couples, she will be screaming and get really heated , I will leave the house for some hours and comes back later , and I keep myself under control. I know that if I don’t , she won’t stop either and things will get nasty. But on that night it didn’t go down that way , I was trying to keep controlled and explain to her the reason why I came late was 2 of my friends were drunk to the point where they couldn’t walk . I have to drive them home. She just wouldn’t stop yelling and throwing hands at me , I was so tired to leave the house again that was why I left our room to go to the living room. She kept on going and I yelled at her to ship up and leave me alone as she was laying into me, she screamed back that she wouldn’t that made me angry and I hit her.the pain of knowing I did that especially when it wasn’t my intentions is killing me and I want to show her that it was a mistake and I had no reason or thought behind hitting her

shilz:
what won't happen again,the slap or the coming home late?

Both.

madridguy:
She went into our room and locked the door , she was in there for a long time and the next morning , her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

Bros, this may sound somehow but you never get wife.

You have said it all. She ain't a wife at all.

niaralandtopuser:
what do you have to say about the nagging? nagging is even more aggressive than a slap

So when your kids nag you....what do u do ?
When your friends nag u what do u do?

Learn self control because when you have a court case you will regret everyday ...... you Will learn the hardway

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

I'm not the typical knight in shining armour that women crave. Matter of fact I'm usually the asshole in the relationship. Hut damn. Why hit a woman? I no just guys these days.



Why didn't you lock yourself in a room to have your peace. And should I add that you are not man enough. If I come home late 2am(I dont do it at all) dem never born the woman wey go yell at me. Did your balls drop off? This is what happens when you lose your manhood in relationship and when you get married the woman wants to be your boss and it would be too late to correct it.



Anyways. Live all by yourself for a month. If you enjoy it, wave goodbye to your wife. But if you dont find your peace living alone then apologise to her.


P.s I wont ask a woman who leaves my house by her own will to come back

daddytime:
No matter wetin you do brother, this marriage na manage e no go last. Sorry, but this is the honest truth.

A precedent has been set, so, at the slightest provocation, your in law's will March down to move their pikin.

Get smart...

If na me, na dem go beg me to come carry my wife back....

How old is this wife by the way?

NB

Please, if you are the guy who advertised a size 44 shoes sometime last week, or you know the guy in person, kindly mention me.

If you want a size 44 shoes, I can do for you.

nairalanduseles:


I hope you dont hit the wrong person some day and end up 6 feet

[q

nairalanduseles:


I hope you dont hit the wrong person some day and end up 6 feet

uote author=LilMissFavvy post=84940679]How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.[/quote]
Did her brother pay her diary ? Family should leave couples alone.

It is immature to take issues too far..... The guy left the bedroom for you, you followed him to the living room throwing tantrums... He accepted the fact that he's wrong and apologized but you kept on pushing until the issue degenerated into domestic violence. The next thing you connived with your family member and move out of your matrimonial home.........

You seriously need a marriage counselor because you are yet to understand the game of slow and steady wins the race.....

kulobyno:
Well as for me:
1. Hitting you wife is a sign of weakness.
2. Apologizing is a sign of strength and love.
But rubbishing my effort to make amends by involving her parents is a NO NO.
I WILL NEVER apologise further because she has made things even.
Whether she decides to stay or leave is her business but trust me I won't care anymore.

Its not a sign of weakness its a crime punishable by law dont get it twisted

Dear brother. Judge not so dat u will not b judged!! Be calm. Give her few days for her mind to settle down, then visit her wherever she maybe. When u see her just keep apologizing ndd nothing more! It's well wit u.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Nonsense.

emeijeh:
Your wife went too far for calling her people (after your very first slap)
What happened to the "no third party interference" sermon on your wedding day?

But Op, are you sure you have not hit or beaten her before that day?

Just keep apologizing.
She has to come back.

You better forget about no third party interference, some husbands are wicked and there need to be check and balance from both couple's sides

dupalmer......thank you!
awkaetitibabe.....you surprise me that with your comments...very very healthy observations...thank you.
hush15....God bless you.

Am so disappointed at response of most of the guys on this platform,how would u feel if ur sister reported this case to u,Do u expect the woman to smile at her husband for returning home that late,and to make matters worse,he even slapped her,
And you think it's wrong for the family to intervene,what if while he slapped her,she fell,hit her head on the ground,and died..
Pls we need to call a spade,a spade and change from our insensitive ways
Let him continue to beg,he is very very wrong

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Op, you see why you can't kill yourself over a woman, jes imagine you marry this one, are you not finished?

Dudes, marriage or datin, don't ever pray you meet their type.

dfrost:


Acidosis, how can you reason like this? So if my family have thieves amongst us, then automatically all of us in the family are thieves?

Wow, what an analogy and fast paced logic. He lost all respect due him immediately he raised his hand on his wife.

How would he feel if another man did that to his wife?

The moment you're married, you cease to be in total or partial submission and subject to your biological parents.

989900:

You sir, are the MVP!

gracias

Imagine the kind of inlaws we have nowadays. Nonsense!

Sirk2018:
[quote author=LilMissFavvy post=84940679]How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.
Did her brother pay her diary ? Family should leave couples alone.

Grow up ....what is dowry .......I can't really believe Nigerians are this backward

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

Since back hand slap leading to bleeding of the mouth is the only way to calm a wife/woman you left with a 7months old baby at home to return 2am after a night out with the work buddies, now her people have also come within hours to tell you she didn't fall from the skies. She isn't a deity that doesn't know her origin.

Today is back hand slap, tomorrow it will be kicks sakpaing of her head or stabbing when she can't take it anymore.

Now be sincere with yourself. With the turn out of events, are you happy with that your outing? What responsible man leaves his family for flexing abi outing to return 2am?God forbid in your absence something happened to your family, what account will you give? Nothing.

Your wife reacted the way she did because a woman nursing a baby gets exhausted and would want the support of her hubby who will help even if it's for 30mins alone.

Na you Sabi o! If you like dey follow colleagues Waka upandan till you use your own hand scatter your marriage wey God give you like chicken wey dey use leg scatter him food. A word is enough for the wise. She is your wife, love her and correct her in love. Know what annoys both of you. Love yourselves. Have effective communication between you two that no one can intrude.

He who has an ear, let him hear what the spirit is saying to him concerning his marriage and his lifestyle as the man of his home. The ball is jn your court. Do as you deem fit. If you want peace and a loving home and marriage and parental legacy for your kids, begin to turn things around. If you want otherwise, don't change continue with your 2am and violent attitude and show that to your kids. But remember an apple doesn't fall far from a tree. It is what your kids see you do and mirror to them as marriage, that is what they will pick up and replicate in their marriage hence leading to Generational trend in your lineage.


Assignment: look at some families with divorces, check very well, there have divorces and unhappy homes in those family trend.



The ball is in your court.

Let her go please,she was never meant for you.She is more into her family than into her build her own family.Dont beg her again..Do not make any effort for her to return,if she wish let her come and whenever she I back giver a serious warning that would turn the table..What a nonsense!!!

monerozi5590:




Nonsense.

You can imagine the hogwash......you will stand there and excite yourself with your brother slapping or beating your husband in your presence?

God forbid bad thing....my eyes have seen my ears.....

My bro...na wetin person go carry put for house say e marry wife...

hush15:


Bro, I understand your pain but at this point, you already did and truth be told, you can't be blamed. It happens to the best of us. You have said sorry and said it over and over again and if she refuses to heed, don't overwhelm yourself with sorrow. Let her be and give it time, the truth is she will still comeback if truly she is mother of your child and you haven't done this before. I don't know how to put this but don't push it too much. Just as she decides to leave, in all the worries, let her comeback of her own accord also cos she can't just really comeback cos you were begging, postratin up and down, being rubbished and embarrassed cos you want your family back. Don't get me wrong o cos many will say, I want to scatter family and not that it's not worth all that but her comin back will be based on all that, she will still leave cos she will tie everything to that and at any small mistake, she will leave again and that become her constant threat. When she decides to come back after apologizing severally, don't ever hit your wife again. It's not good, it's not right and it's not the right answer to the problem cos women will always use that against you. The minute she began frustrating you, if you are mobile, you go into your car and sleep if you don't want to drive out again that late or if you can afford it, take Uber to a safe hotel around and sleep or better still, drive to a friend's place who can accommodate you till morning. The best reply to a woman's rant is ignorance. If you have apologized and she is still bent on bring down hell, just ignore if it means lock-in yourself in the room alone. Her battery will run out...

I learnt something from women and that's overbeggin. Now, this is my own opinion but am sure millions can relate to it. When you beg a woman too much cos you afraid of loosing her or what you have with her, eventually you end up loosin her or them cos you will enslave yourself in the process. Many may disagree but I have seen this in many relationship including mine both pre and post marriage. I apologize when am wrong and even as many times I get the chance but if as a woman, you insist on doing your thing, enjoy. When you are back to your senses, we can continue from where we stopped and that's if am still available but in a situation like bein married, when you expressed your anger finish and you still feel like been married, we can continue, child or not, afterall, na me know say that kind of thing won't happen again.

So bro, you have said sorry and say it when the chance permit you but don't over do it so you have you dignity and respect intact.

Beatin a woman doesn't really work in modern time, even for your own good. Just pretend like you not there when she starts to get to you so you can live long.

very mature advice. op should not allow himself to be blackmail. both did wrong . his staying out very late, her aggressive nagging, he slapping her and her getting outsiders involved

luminouz:


You make nice points too.

The emotional blackmail stuff is not limited to Yoruba gehs alone. Coming from a man who dated girls from several tribes except Hausa, they all do it. Once they identify a weakness in your psyche,they will keep exploiting it. Just be unruffled and they will be comfortable playing emotional games with you.

Sure, the emotional blackmail is a woman thing, the only reason I mention yoruba is the aspect of leaving their husband house and running to their parents, particularly their mother place (completely supported by their mother I must add) at any sign of dispute, what happens to working things out with your husband.

Most guys would be forming tough here,blabla rubbish,while in real life,they practically worship the feet their wives/gfs walks on# smh
Someone even said he should leave her,that there other ladies willing to be 2nd or 3rd wives
Can u imagine??