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I Hit My Wife - Family (13) - Nairaland

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Out Of Rage, I Hit My Mum Yesterday! / I Hit My Husband By Mistake / I Hit My Wife , I Need Help (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Hit My Wife by bnovative(m): 10:24am On Dec 16, 2019
Did you hangout with married friends till 2am?
I doubt.
Majority of the posts hailing you here are singles who had their warped and bias views about women.
I've been married for almost a decade now and I can say you were wrong.
Did you call her while you were with friends, to inform that you may likely get home late? You thought it wasn't necessary?
With a 7 month old baby, you don't think leaving her alone for friends could hurt? And immediately you said sorry, she should be very grateful and happy? Is she a robot to have her angst reverse immediately you said sorry?
Go and bring your wife back and apologize to your in-laws

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Hit My Wife by shadeyinka(m): 10:24am On Dec 16, 2019
kulobyno:

Whatever made you think you are in the position to tell me which of my opinion is mature and which is not.

My in laws can't run my home. My wife can't manipulate me if she's ready for marriage then we continue if she isn't then we part for peace.
Then you should exercise maturity by NEVER EVER beating/slapping your wife.

When sacrilegious acts are committed, it only leads to equally sacrilegious reactions and repercussions!

1 Like

Re: I Hit My Wife by Kendollar696(m): 10:24am On Dec 16, 2019
ugofulfilled:


Really? Is this the best you can think? well I wasn't disappointed.

let's assume you're the wife in the above narrative, you will feel defended and happy seeing your brother slap your HUSBAND?

with this hand, we shall read about your home someday on this forum.

Thank you don't mention..
My wife brother slap me...
Na baby mama she don be like that..
In my home..
He did wrong yes, he tried to avoid it.
2am to dawn.. she's leaving and her mum to him to get out of their face.. bro, calm down.. just call to check on her and the baby.. send money for up keeps.. text her with am deeply sorry, also let her know through the text that, if only she didn't follow you around the house like that, it wouldn't have gotten to that..

1 Like

Re: I Hit My Wife by Nobody: 10:25am On Dec 16, 2019
Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.


Give her sometime , don't call nor message any of them .
Later on, go there with someone who's more mature than you are. But if you have her close friend , try to convince he/her to go with you to her family house.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?
Re: I Hit My Wife by luminouz(m): 10:25am On Dec 16, 2019
hush15:


Bro, I understand your pain but at this point, you already did and truth be told, you can't be blamed. It happens to the best of us. You have said sorry and said it over and over again and if she refuses to heed, don't overwhelm yourself with sorrow. Let her be and give it time, the truth is she will still comeback if truly she is mother of your child and you haven't done this before. I don't know how to put this but don't push it too much. Just as she decides to leave, in all the worries, let her comeback of her own accord also cos she can't just really comeback cos you were begging, postratin up and down, being rubbished and embarrassed cos you want your family back. Don't get me wrong o cos many will say, I want to scatter family and not that it's not worth all that but her comin back will be based on all that, she will still leave cos she will tie everything to that and at any small mistake, she will leave again and that become her constant threat. When she decides to come back after apologizing severally, don't ever hit your wife again. It's not good, it's not right and it's not the right answer to the problem cos women will always use that against you. The minute she began frustrating you, if you are mobile, you go into your car and sleep if you don't want to drive out again that late or if you can afford it, take Uber to a safe hotel around and sleep or better still, drive to a friend's place who can accommodate you till morning. The best reply to a woman's rant is ignorance. If you have apologized and she is still bent on bring down hell, just ignore if it means lock-in yourself in the room alone. Her battery will run out...

I learnt something from women and that's overbeggin. Now, this is my own opinion but am sure millions can relate to it. When you beg a woman too much cos you afraid of loosing her or what you have with her, eventually you end up loosin her or them cos you will enslave yourself in the process. Many may disagree but I have seen this in many relationship including mine both pre and post marriage. I apologize when am wrong and even as many times I get the chance but if as a woman, you insist on doing your thing, enjoy. When you are back to your senses, we can continue from where we stopped and that's if am still available but in a situation like bein married, when you expressed your anger finish and you still feel like been married, we can continue, child or not, afterall, na me know say that kind of thing won't happen again.

So bro, you have said sorry and say it when the chance permit you but don't over do it so you have you dignity and respect intact.

Beatin a woman doesn't really work in modern time, even for your own good. Just pretend like you not there when she starts to get to you so you can live long.

Nice points.
Re: I Hit My Wife by minayeconsult: 10:25am On Dec 16, 2019
There is a lot i presume you have not told us. For insatance, when you know you cannot come home as usual did you call her? Did she call you and refused to pick her calls while you were hanging out? Are you fond of this sort of hanging out? Her actions can only speak of two things:
1. She is tired of your selfishness and immaturity, and she feels insecure in your hands. It is not just about the slap, if that was actaually your first attempt. No normal person will judge you by a singular mistake you are sorry for.
2. If all you have said is true then she is immature and childish and requires marriage counselling. I honestly doubt if she loves you. She has stronger attachment and allegiance to her previous family than the one she is to build with you. If this is true, i can assure you begging is not a permanent solution. Begging can bring her back but will not build your home. She needs proper counselling. With the action of her mum and brother, i actual doubt if this 2nd premise is correct. But if it is correct you don't need those kind of inlaws. you need to draw the line and make your wife understand why, after she has succumbed to counselling, if not i bet; this will happen again and again.

1 Like

Re: I Hit My Wife by midnighter(f): 10:25am On Dec 16, 2019
Vivonose:
Am so disappointed at response of most of the guys on this platform,how would u feel if ur sister reported this case to u,Do u expect the woman to smile at her husband for returning home that late,and to make matters worse,he even slapped her,
And you think it's wrong for the family to intervene,what if while he slapped her,she fell,hit her head on the ground,and died..
Pls we need to call a spade,a spade and change from our insensitive ways
Let him continue to beg,he is very very wrong

He has begged her already! What is he begging again!

Shes supposed to beg him too, they should both beg each other

3 Likes

Re: I Hit My Wife by Ikpeabujo(m): 10:26am On Dec 16, 2019
going through the write up as a man I have this to say.....
your wife knows you very well and she is aware that your lateness has to do with some stuff like womanising with your friends
as a married man you have no right to be away at such time knowing you have a wife at home.
the deed has been done and remember she is your wife and not girlfriend so anything you can do to bring her is allowed even if you have to promise her heaven and earth.
summary...
nagging aspect is part of all women so you have to bear that and pick no offense at that because at one time in life your mother did that

4 Likes

Re: I Hit My Wife by SURElee(f): 10:26am On Dec 16, 2019
Sirk2018:
[quote author=LilMissFavvy post=84940679]How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.
Did her brother pay her diary ? Family should leave couples alone.


Clap for yourself. Families should leave couples alone in domestic violence. I eagerly await the day you come here to tell the nairaland community on how your entire family left your female relative alone to face a violent spouse. Till then. Only when it happens to blood relatives do we know what they go through.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Hit My Wife by Adeola4619(m): 10:26am On Dec 16, 2019
Her mother are wrong they don't suppose to accept their daughter words abt leaving your house....but all the way go and beg them with your frnd or frnds and neva repeat such act again......may God be with you
Re: I Hit My Wife by Sandypearl: 10:27am On Dec 16, 2019
loveliveshere:


Like I said, people react to anger differently.

The man, a married man, came back home by 2am. That's enough to upset anyone. Maybe if the guy had apologised the moment he stepped into the house, and maybe gave the wife one or two kisses her rage would have been subdued.
what is this girl saying.Marry first then you will understand what marriage is all about,cos I am sure you are very much single
Re: I Hit My Wife by Emmanuel226(m): 10:27am On Dec 16, 2019
dfrost:


So you supported that comment? And I ask, how long will the circle continue? Maybe until the umpteenth wife?
guy I jus dey confused oh,I no know wetin to comment self,dis one weak me

Re: I Hit My Wife by Omotakins(m): 10:28am On Dec 16, 2019
The fact that you attended a party, came back 2 a.m without any valid justification was a sign of disrespect to your wife and display of irresponsibility. You didn't stop there but rather took that irresponsible act a notch higher by slapping your better half. Those were your mistakes. However, your acknowledgement of wrongdoing and immediate move to placate your wife gave me that belief that you ain't a bad man after all.

Your wife didn't handle the matter well and manifested immaturity in her conducts! As much as she was annoyed and wanted to vent it, arousing provocation should have been avoided. Also, calling a third party over a conjugal infraction which u deeply tried to resolve is puerile. You were profoundly remorseful; that ought to settle it. Issues will always arise in a marriage and you just have to resolve them as they come up.

The coming of ur in-laws shouldn't have been to take away their daughter but to bring about an amicable resolution. Are they gonna marry her or give her out to another man to marry? Except you are hiding the fact that you've been beating ur wife before now, the step taken by your in-laws was inappropriate and absurd.

I'm not gonna ask you to stop begging cos you need to do all you can to have your wife back with u. Involve all u need to involve and do all u need to do. After this matter is resolved, you definitely need to have a tete-a-tete with ur wife. Marriage is for two.

2 Likes

Re: I Hit My Wife by Vivonose: 10:28am On Dec 16, 2019
midnighter:


He has begged her already! What is he begging again!

Shes supposed to beg him too, they should both beg each other
let him continue begging
Begging no dey finish for market
Call her,call her mum,..if he really loves her,that's won't be a problem

1 Like

Re: I Hit My Wife by Nobody: 10:28am On Dec 16, 2019
LilMissFavvy:
. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man?

No he is not a weak man. Rather he's a wise man.

The wise never act on intuition.

He responds and never reacts.

And finally, he dissects the line btw thoughtfulness and temperament.

1 Like

Re: I Hit My Wife by Zenithpeak(m): 10:30am On Dec 16, 2019
Dupalmer:

You didn't answer my question? What was she hoping to achieve when she was shouting and following him up and down and refusing to accept his apology?

I wander ooo. Leyin aponle nko? abuku lokan.
Never allow minor issue degenerate into serious and bigger crises.

1 Like

Re: I Hit My Wife by jaymichael(m): 10:30am On Dec 16, 2019
Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?
Bro, under no circumstances should you kneel down for a woman (except maybe it involves life and death situation) verbal apology and sincere penitence is enough. You reacted wrongly but don't dwell on it too much because even the whole of humanity offend God and we receive forgiveness when we ask for it.
If your in-laws feel they can control their own home and yours, let them marry their daughter. Just be strong and let nothing in this life hold you to ransom. My bosses at work and my wife at home all see and know me as someone that nothing disturbs and i hold nothing too important as not to ne able to let go when it wants to choke me. I am the only one that know my strong and weak points.
Good luck.

1 Like

Re: I Hit My Wife by deltateam: 10:30am On Dec 16, 2019
emeijeh:
Your wife went too far for calling her people (after your very first slap)
What happened to the "no third party interference" sermon on your wedding day?

But Op, are you sure you have not hit or beaten her before that day?

Just keep apologizing.
She has to come back.

The wife went too far but the irresponsible man didn't go too far for coming home by 2am when he's married with a new baby thus exposing his family to harms way.

The type of friends that will keep a married man away from his family until 2am should be reexamined.

He's reckless and lacks respect for his wife.
Enough of this double standards.

Nonsense!

Cc

Ekene161829

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Hit My Wife by Afamed: 10:31am On Dec 16, 2019
etrange:


Separation is 100 times better than domestic violence. Asides its life threatening nature, children raised in homes where domestic violence is the order of the day are far more likely to constitute nuisance to society.
God would have packed us out if he has to go by your illustration. What happens to giving someone a second chance, especially when such person has apologised and he has no history of domestic violence?
Re: I Hit My Wife by Nobody: 10:31am On Dec 16, 2019
nairalanduseles:


So when your kids nag you....what do u do ?
When your friends nag u what do u do?

Learn self control because when you have a court case you will regret everyday ...... you Will learn the hardway
there will always be a boundary to what is acceptable from both kids and. my friend should know when to stop . my kids will be corrected with the cane if it get above a reasonable level
Re: I Hit My Wife by Nobody: 10:32am On Dec 16, 2019
Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?
You made a mistake but your wife's people must be very mad.
Leave her and ignore. She'll realize how stùpid her decision to leave soon is. In the end, she'll start begging or start stalking and forcing you to apologize so that she can come back.
Nonsense ego!
Re: I Hit My Wife by luminouz(m): 10:32am On Dec 16, 2019
Vivonose:
Most guys would be forming tough here,blabla rubbish,while in real life,they practically worship the feet their wives/gfs walks on# smh
Someone even said he should leave her,that there other ladies willing to be 2nd or 3rd wives
Can u imagine??



Lol, where do you ladies get this info from anyways?

That online alphas are lambs outside!

If you react to everything people say here, your high BP no go be here o...
Re: I Hit My Wife by luckydion(m): 10:33am On Dec 16, 2019
u return home from outing 2am? hmmm! U're Strong, it shouldn't be ur first time. Probably ur late night escalated. however depends on the location u're.
2 years marriage is too young for this EXTREME hang out if the "HOME IS HOME".
Were U drunk to have use slap to silent her?
Young father of a 7 months old child "u steered the stereo so u have to dance to its tone".

For your Wife to call heaven and earth because that.... Bros! I'm sorry to say she too need counselling "BIG ONE"
Again, if ur wife is ready for marriage she can't just park and walk out.... It seemed to me, those your said in-laws of yours are your sponsor and they help u with the girl for marriage. too wrong.... Such people are not In-laws......

I just advice U go home and involve ur people, or Ur religious leaders, which ever one u belong.

However, U have to let your in-law know there boundary except they don't want u to continue in marriage with their daughter.

I just have to stop here... cus I this matter is pregnant......... One need time and the involved parties to diagnose better.

1 Like

Re: I Hit My Wife by kodakred: 10:33am On Dec 16, 2019
daddytime:
No matter wetin you do brother, this marriage na manage e no go last. Sorry, but this is the honest truth.

A precedent has been set, so, at the slightest provocation, your in law's will March down to move their pikin.

Get smart...

If na me, na dem go beg me to come carry my wife back....

How old is this wife by the way?

NB

Please, if you are the guy who advertised a size 44 shoes sometime last week, or you know the guy in person, kindly mention me.

Versace shoes? @ daddytime
Re: I Hit My Wife by stevenchiil(m): 10:33am On Dec 16, 2019
Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?
OP seriously u messed up by slapping your wife but am glad u have profusely apologized but on no condition should u go to her family and beg because it's an insult to u as a husband that the mother would come pick her daughter without making an effort at crisis management.
Re: I Hit My Wife by yoged(m): 10:33am On Dec 16, 2019
madridguy:
She went into our room and locked the door , she was in there for a long time and the next morning , her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

Bros, this may sound somehow but you never get wife.
. Well said . she has been looking for an excuse to leave all this while
Re: I Hit My Wife by Nnahokwudiri: 10:33am On Dec 16, 2019
Bro to be honest with you. What you did was absolutely wrong. The best advice is in Gods word the Bible. No marriage is perfect but this isn't an excuse to hit your wife. Hitting you wife anytime shows you are really a weak man. And if your child grows up to see the kind of father he has he might end doing same. Your wife has to heal because you hurt her. You need to speak your family members and inform them about the current development. Its now a family thing. When she comes back try and make here understand the importance of your love for her. And involvement of a 3rd party in a marriage might not be too good on all matters. Then you need to ask God for wisdom to handle this matter. Social Media will give you wrong advice. . Ask older and reasonable men around you. They will give you the best advice not social Media.
Re: I Hit My Wife by Ladycewhy(f): 10:33am On Dec 16, 2019
luminouz:


Sweetie,I have seen it all. Why call myself alien if I dont know how the human mind works.

Unless the OP is a serial woman beater before or a sadistic narcissist, no sane man would feel any rush from slapping his own wife and mother of his child. Anyone can get angry and react violently, that's human nature. What is sick is to enjoy the violent act(in your case,the dopamine rush).

Have you heard of the term "blood boil"?that is a rush and its called adrenaline and it can become consistent with pattern of behavior.


I strongly disagree, so let me rephrase your comment "any one can get angry but not everyone reacts violently".

Lets even the steps that led to the back hand slap.

The op went out, it was getting late, a responsible man who is not in the habit of staying out late will definitely inform his wife about the development, i am sure they both have phones, i am assuming he should have called to let his wife know he will be staying out that late ,atleast if it were me i am sure i will be worried sick about my husband and be checking in every 30mins cos i personally hate staying out late, too many dangers lurking in the dark. If this aspect was sorted i doubt she will be that upset ,infact na gist for follow .


Now he came home ,she was upset,yes i know it can be difficult to calm a situation like that down,but instead of addressing it he decided to ignore ,wishing it will go away, when he saw it didn't work out he decided to use physical assualt.


This is the pattern i am concern about,that op ignored and switched to physical assault, until he learns to stop ignoring issues and seek for solutions before he looses his temper this pattern will continue.

2 Likes

Re: I Hit My Wife by mapet: 10:34am On Dec 16, 2019
madridguy:
She went into our room and locked the door , she was in there for a long time and the next morning , her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

Bros, this may sound somehow but you never get wife.

I'm even wondering if the whole thing is not a script...
Re: I Hit My Wife by bukatyne(f): 10:35am On Dec 16, 2019
Ekene161829:
Thank you for you advise. I never done anything like it before and I taught I could never do such a thing thing to her and I regret everything. Normally we argue like any other couples, she will be screaming and get really heated , I will leave the house for some hours and comes back later , and I keep myself under control. I know that if I don’t , she won’t stop either and things will get nasty. But on that night it didn’t go down that way , I was trying to keep controlled and explain to her the reason why I came late was 2 of my friends were drunk to the point where they couldn’t walk . I have to drive them home. She just wouldn’t stop yelling and throwing hands at me , I was so tired to leave the house again that was why I left our room to go to the living room. She kept on going and I yelled at her to ship up and leave me alone as she was laying into me, she screamed back that she wouldn’t that made me angry and I hit her.the pain of knowing I did that especially when it wasn’t my intentions is killing me and I want to show her that it was a mistake and I had no reason or thought behind hitting her

So you have never hit her before?
You have not stayed out that late before?

I blame your in-laws: they should have listened to both sides of the story and go for a peaceful resolution.

I am thinking for someone who doesn't do late nights, the first thing should be concern that all is well and not shouting & yelling. undecided

Well, several posters have told you never to hit her again and I join them to say so.
Re: I Hit My Wife by Nobody: 10:35am On Dec 16, 2019
xendra:
SMH

2am? when it's not business?
she sabi shout, person like me wey no fit shout I no go open door atall. you wee sleep there.

anyway give it time and go back to begging her she would have calmed down and thought about her life, she will come back. unless she is convinced living without you is what's best for her.
Good
I like you.
I don't support nonsense.

1 Like

Re: I Hit My Wife by luminouz(m): 10:35am On Dec 16, 2019
Vivonose:
let him continue begging
Begging no dey finish for market
Call her,call her mum,..if he really loves her,that's won't be a problem

shocked shocked

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