Whatever ooo

ericsmith:




I didnt know runs babes was founded & peculiar to the family in nigeria .... buh the facts are out there, visits hotels & guest houses ...you wil know married men chop the so called single gurls more.
Now listen i don't nid to divorce b4 i can marry another gurl ...if you wan shoot ur shot ..shoot !

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

There is no point rationalising or downplaying what happen cos she bled from a split lips as a result of the force you expended when you slapped her. When admonishing someone you love deeply, i doubt you can expend such energy to the point of blood flowing. She won't just forgive that easily especially coming from someone she loves. Go to their house, sit down and repeat this words to them "" I am sorry for the inconveniences my action may have caused you all as my family, i wish it never happen but it did and sincerely i regrets my actions"".
Keep shut and ignore any provocative words that may ensue in return. They are at a cross-road now on what happened. They are trying to see what you will do, whether what you did was a happenstance, a slight judgemental fault or a deliberate battery attempt on their daughter. Your action now will either make or mar the future of your marriage.
Do not listen to anybody telling you jack-shit on not apologising to the woman you love, it shows irresponsibility and lack of tact if you do not show remorse for battery and endangering your life by staying out late.

midnighter:


You just summarised it. Act like a lady and think like a man! This is like military warfare.

The lady was even at an advantage because he overreacted to her own overreacting and nagging by slapping her. So she had the upper hand because he committed the bigger crime by becoming violent. He knew it and that's why he started apologising, kneeling and begging.

She would have kept crying, dramatising and keeping malice until he would be forced to agree not to stay out late again . Then the next time he tries that 2AM will be a different story

She was even winning and still went and called her mother for what I don't even know. Did your mother tell you to finish your husband with mouth Your mother who will even insult you join and ask you when you're going back to your house.

This guy is even sorry, what of those ones who will slap your mouth like soured red stew without any conscience? Very ridiculous something o

Correct!

But she's not wise at all.

She should thank her For, her hubby have conscience to beg her.

For me? I don't have strength to nag..
If I don't like my husband's behavior, I will talk about it when he's clear headed and sober and that's the first and last time I will complain.

I don't like complaining twice, I don't like nagging, I dnt have strength to fight man. But with the way I will behave, he will quickly adjust his behavior.
In short any man I marry will know the kind of person I am ,before wedlock.

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

in the future you are most likely to regret being married to a woman like this.i pray im wrong.

BRATISLAVA:
but a man can do that? Is that what you're saying? So if your wife gave you a slap that resulted in bloodshed, she shouldn't beg you? You will be so kind as to forgive immediately? She shouldn't think you are worth it to apologize to you?

He said he spent the whole night apologising. A fraction of that should have been enough for her to forgive him.

GraGra247:


Op, Please don't listen to this stupid advice.

Op you committed two crimes.

1. You came back home by 2am - a thing I'm certain you won't tolerate from your wife.

2. When she complained you had the guts to slap her to the extent she bled from her mouth and nose.

You deserve to be in jail.

Go and buy goat and 5 cartons of drinks to appease your inlaws and your wife else she shouldn't come back to you.

He left her in the bedroom went to the Parlor and she still followed him to there. After he had slapped her, she now went back to the bedroom, locked the door and refused to come out. The same room she refused staying before she was slapped. Most times, na we dey cause trouble for ourselves

What u did was bad no doubt abt dat....it can happen to anyone...u are sorry and pls don't hit ur wife again..... But nigga...things are happening in ur home dat u don't know... Try to investigate...u will tank me later

CHoccolaTE:
Op is not telling the full story
I want to hear the wife's side of the story too
Maybe op did more than slap, maybe he added a few blows or few derogatory words but unfortunately the wife is not here to tell her side of everything.
Maybe their marriage has been rocky for years now or maybe he has hit her before, who knows?

In any case, contact her with written and signed agreement the you will never assault her and if you do you will be arrested, that should be in the contract.

I am sure that one will be enough to convince her of your remorse

Bye

Madam, are you ok at all?
He should sign an agreement thus using his hand to sign his own grave for a nagging woman. Na wao

No reason to hit a woman unless your life is threatened.

patjane:
Whatever ooo

so you could run out of bullet or is it becos i asked you to shoot ur shot ...shoot make i fire you

victorian:


Correct!

But she's not wise at all. .

My God. How exactly can you justify what you typed up there. There is a place for mind games. This situation is not one of it.

She was slapped so hard that she bled. I mean, what could have possibly been so annoying that the man had to do that?

Stop trying to follow nairaland men to spew trash. Most of them hide under the cloak of anonymity to say what they can't go through with. Stop and think with your brain

gloniks:
Most of these comments are so heartbreaking, seeing also that some of these guys talking are not yet married, I feel so so sorry. Most people think the woman's action of calling her mom and brother was too far, chai, really so she should wait till from a slap it gets to punches and then one day you will beat her blue black till she dies or becomes deformed and then you see her unpresentable as a wife abi.....so her calling her family was too much but your own slap was not too much..... Thank God you said you have a female child imagine her married and her getting a slap from her husband how will you feel

So she was shouting and yelling so that justifies your actions?

you said that was the first time you came back late so I believe she had never seen you coming back that late and you don't think she must have been sick and worried about you with the security issues especially in this festive season?

You were not drunk so where you were with your friends you didn't bother about her maybe to give her a call, you didn't consider her feelings at all?

If she was the one who came back late I am sure that house would have been hot for her, I am sure you would have been soooooo angry infact even if it was just dinner she didn't prepare it wouldn't have been condoned Come to talk more of coming back late I am not judgemental here but I think a slap was too fast


And all majority of the guys here can say is that she shouldn't have yelled or she should have left you in the room or maybe she should have said "bravo my husband for coming back late" and most guys are saying you should leave her alone fine you have done a mistake continue tendering your apologies she will definitely come back that's after you've signed an undertaking never to do such again

but I shake my head for most guys
#egocentric
#violent

soon all of them will say they don't support domestic
violence

Mtcheew

Y r u making a mountain out of a mole hill?the man apologized saying it wasn't intentional. N there is no marriage without it ups n downs, which doesn't translate to domestic violence. OK since the wife is calling her mother n brother now when they ve any slight misunderstanding his wife il call her people, n time il come her mother il tell her when to make love, get pregnant, cook for her home, listen to her husband, or any other thing at least no mother wants to see her daughter suffer. And then I wonder who came to run her mother's home for her when she was younger?

wany:


She will do no such thing.are you supporting the man for hiting his wife,let him too test a slap from a fellow man and let see how it feels.he is lucky the wife is soft ,some women will

I don't approve a man hitting his wife. But the woman would not let him be, e waka go here she follow e come here she follow. You don't know how annoying nagging can be.

You slap her to CALM her down .

So , is she calm now ??

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

Cocao:


My God. How exactly can you justify what you typed up there. There is a place for mind games. This situation is not one of it.

She was slapped so hard that she bled. I mean, what could have possibly been so annoying that the man had to do that?

Stop trying to follow nairaland men to spew trash. Most of them hide under the cloak of anonymity to say what they can't go through with. Stop and think with your brain

U r still single I presume.

emeijeh:
Your wife went too far for calling her people (after your very first slap)
What happened to the "no third party interference" sermon on your wedding day?

But Op, are you sure you have not hit or beaten her before that day?

Just keep apologizing.
She has to come back.

The first slap i received from my significant other has led to series of blows and kicks. It's usually not intentional but subsequently, more will come.

Visit her parents and plead with them they would accept you if they fear God..you made a mistake and she should have involved her family except if you have been beating her or exhibiting some level of violence

emonis88:

U r still single I presume.

What has that got to do with what I typed

AwkaetitiBabe:
Some situations are simply avoidable. Keeping begging but don't come across weak.

I have been noticing some of your comments, you are a babe I swear, I kind of like your person ...that comment is maturity in display.

Hanging out till 2am was bad
Hitting her was gross

On the part of the Lady, following the man around nagging was not good. It shows she ain't matured. A matured, sensible and wise woman can calmly drive home her disappointment, which will bring a better result
Calling her family is worse. She ain't matured at all

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

Nawao for your assertion.

madridguy:
She went into our room and locked the door , she was in there for a long time and the next morning , her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

Bros, this may sound somehow but you never get wife.

Exactly. Marriage is not just living together and bearing children. If she can't forgive after you show remorse, emm

Ladycewhy:
how you sure its his first time tho? A person who is not a night crawler will not be that comfortable staying out that late without updating his wife about the development. There is alot of the little details the op seem to have left out .


Anyway ,all that being said, what would you advice the op does now to salvage his marriage?

I hardly go out in the night but there are times you just run into an old friend and before you know it 11pm already.

If I were the op, I will give her a little space for her to calm down and think things through then try to contact her again to work things out.
a real wife beater will not care about apologising immediately after hitting you

Calling her family and packing out is very unwise at all. The woman in question is not wise at all.

She has been able to escalate a minor situation, two of them would have settled amicably.
And in escalating the situation, there marriage will never be the same except two of them grow sense and become wiser in handling issues

RisenPhoenix:


He said he spent the whole night apologising. A fraction of that should have been enough for her to forgive him.

if someone hit you and injured you in an act of violence, would you accept their apology because they deserve to be forgiven or get them arrested for assault? You're acting like a man raising his hand on his wife is his right, so if he apologizes she must accept. You've failed to call it what it is. It is criminal force and a violent assault. No matter the provocation, if you meet such a person outdoors you wouldn't try hitting them because you would end up in jail. So why do it at home and feel like it is your right to use force on another person? You guys can't understand crime. You've made it marital sentiment and believe that women must take physical abuse while men cannot stand it. Imagine if each time as a man you say something another person doesn't like and they beat you up for it, later claiming it was your nagging fault and an accident. Isn't that madness?

Cocao:


My God. How exactly can you justify what you typed up there. There is a place for mind games. This situation is not one of it.

She was slapped so hard that she bled. I mean, what could have possibly been so annoying that the man had to do that?

Stop trying to follow nairaland men to spew trash. Most of them hide under the cloak of anonymity to say what they can't go through with. Stop and think with your brain

My dear, I'm thinking with my brain. And the least I will do is follow nairaland men to spew rubbish.
I'm looking at it this way, my husband comes home late around 2am. I asked him where is he coming from? He mumbled some words and said walked away from me, to the bedroom. I dragged him back and started nagging, how can u come home this late? U don't even consider your life. And u call your self a married man!
He still walks away from the bedroom, headed to the sitting room, I followed him again. , and he kept mumbling that it's OK, he has heard and I still kept on talking to him like he's a kid!

Cmon! What do u think I'm doing? I'm looking for someone to shut my mouth up!
Some men can leave home at that moment and drive off with their car. While some who do not have anywhere to go but are determined to Stay home, will either bang the door at my face, as I keep howling at his back? Or give me a dirty slap to keep me shut!
And unfortunately he gave his wife a hard slap that brough blood oozing from her lips.
She simply. Asked for it!


A sharp mouthed girl came to look for my trouble at home. You know what I did? As she was about sharpening her mouth I slammed the door on her face! And locked it. She kept screaming and shouting at the hallway. I would have hit her with something just to keep her mouth shut and listen to reason but on second thought, She may collapse and faint or even die on me. So I simply slammed the door on her face!
I don't have patience for such sharp mouth and talking down on me, even as lady. How much more as a man!

My brother when he was alive, his girlfriend used to talk down on him, so I thought. One day I came home abit early and heard her talking and nagging non stop. I was like WTF! And her voice was so loud. Mehn, my head turn, I walked to his room, knocked entered and asked him, is everything OK? He said hmm yes. The way I looked at his gf ehn? She sef know say she pass her boundary.
She then left immediately. I was like, how can u allow a woman raise her voice on you? U are there quiet mumbling? Are u this weak! Mehn that's not a woman o! That's a dragon! The earlier u cut off from such girl, the better for you. If not that I respect u as my younger brother, I would have insulted her and warned her never to try such again at you. U don't nag or scream at me! For what? Assuming I'm the husband or following me up and down breathing down my neck! I won't take it lightly.

He didn't listen to me, las las her nagging and wahala pushed him to his grave.

So babe! I don't accept such nagging and hounding a man as if he's a kid.

Forget nairaland men, I honestly don't!

I no b relationship counselor or marriage counselor but after begging her and she refuse to accept...plz free her for sometime n see...she will use her own leg to come back... perhaps she have ur baby with her so surely she will come....

make wahala or trouble of single parenting settle on her she will retrace her step

Bros go drink with ur friends jooor

victorian:
Correct!

But she's not wise at all.

She should thank her For, her hubby have conscience to beg her.

For me? I don't have strength to nag..
If I don't like my husband's behavior, I will talk about it when he's clear headed and sober and that's the first and last time I will complain.

I don't like complaining twice, I don't like nagging, I dnt have strength to fight man. But with the way I will behave, he will quickly adjust his behavior.
In short any man I marry will know the kind of person I am ,before wedlock.

Lol I have had to learn to hold my peace because I know that I am very capable of doing something like this.

The only thing is that nobody beat me which is why I know that calling your family into the matter is very nonsensical when you should even be hiding the thing from your family if you have an iota of shame.

If you know you have some crazy temper, plus being tired, plus female hormones then it's better to work on it and present your issue calmly than drive your husband to abstraction because at the end you will still eat your own slice of HUMBLE PIE and admit that you were the one who started it

Forget nairaland guys or misogyny or whatever. I am not one to advocate for allowing a man to rubbish you but if you know that you can be very persistent and irritating then you'd better err on the side of logic and think realistically about how best to get what you want without driving the man insane

Somebody is already kneeling down on the ground for you, that's your best chance of getting your point across and you missed it to go and call your mother who is relaxing in her husband's house already ...shuuu?

BRATISLAVA:
and accident is a car crash, plane crash or a forest fire consuming people. Drawing blood from someone, hitting someone isn't an accident. It is premeditated. She can leave if she wishes to, because what happened is domestic violence- not an accident- and if brought to a police station, it is criminal force and he will be called a criminal and sentenced. If he touched anyone else like that it would not be an accident. He would be serving for his crime.

Wait!!!!!!!
Are you married Or are in a Relationship
So if ur partner slaps u intentionally or Unintentionally His Going to pay for that ?? ���

Leonel55:


Your entire story is quite fuzzy: a little bit on point in some context and a lot more off point in others

It is poor understanding of the concept of marriage and the roles and functions of the two individuals involved that usually leads to all manner of interpretations and, as a result, all forms of abuse that follow

True, the wife is not your slave but neither is the husband her master. He is only the coordinating center of the marriage, like the captain of an Aircraft, not captain of a ship. The captain of an aircraft works hand in hand with a copilot, in this case, the wife: she's not a mere cabin crew. You can't say the man is the master without inferring that the wife is a slave or servant cos only slaves and servants have masters and only masters are justified to beat their slaves because they are their slaves

If a husband has to beat his wife in order to contain her excesses then he either got into marriage with the wrong information or he's married to the wrong woman

Submission of the wife in marriage, must not, at anytime, come at that expense of physical or emotional violence. If you have to hit her to contain her then you've got your marriage wired wrongly

Submission here does not mean submission to him being Lord and master but rather, that he coordinates, as far their marriage is concerned. It is not submission to his whims and caprices or inordinate demands which can all get muddled up in the idea of submission in marriage

It is part of the husband's role to lead and for the wife to submit to that leadership in order for their marriage to work but that doesn't make him king or lord or master. The husband leading effectively allows the wife to carry out her own roles and functions effectively, so it is to her benefit that she submits to his leading. The fact that she has to submit to the husband coordinating does not make her inferior. Her individual personality, capacity and prospects must not be subsumed in the process

The husband is not superior to the wife and neither is the wife inferior to the husband and vice versa. They're not equal either cos the roles they're meant to play in the marriage are not exactly the same. In the real concept of marriage there is nothing like equality or inequality: there are just roles and functions

The problem most men have is the misconception of the idea of "headship" in marriage, a lot of it due to cultural misdirection. It is totally misunderstood. The headship in marriage is in reference to the head in a living organism, not the head, like a king, in a kingdom. The head in an organism is the coordinating center hence all other parts submit to its coordinating role

This is not to condemn you or whatever has been working for you but to correct the notion that others might pick from it that the husband is the master of the wife or that hitting your wife, for whatever reason, is at anytime ok.

For those who are Christians, the scriptures never indicated it was ok to beat your wife in order to correct her or that the man is master. It only referenced that the man is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the Church: not in reference to the context of Christ being Lord and King of all, rather in the context of Christ being the head and Church the body - same goes for marriage

Blessings!

I Love you!

kennylesy122:

Wait!!!!!!!
Are you married Or are in a Relationship
So if ur partner slaps u intentionally or Unintentionally His Going to pay for that ?? ���

Anyone who commits a crime will face the law. There is no partner in assault. It is a lie that partners assault themselves unintentionally. It is not an accident, so it cannot be overlooked. I will not hit a partner and if I am hit, they will face the law. That is assault.

GraGra247:


Op, Please don't listen to this stupid advice.

Op you committed two crimes.

1. You came back home by 2am - a thing I'm certain you won't tolerate from your wife.

2. When she complained you had the guts to slap her to the extent she bled from her mouth and nose.

You deserve to be in jail.

Go and buy goat and 5 cartons of drinks to appease your inlaws and your wife else she shouldn't come back to you.

mmm mmm you're wrong. At least I believe he told her were he was going before he left the house not that she stopped him.it was an office party.


Yes,really he came back late which is not good, but when he'd come back he apologized to her,meaning he knew he was wrong to have stayed late.


As a reasonable woman.she should have accepted his apologies the tell him not to repeat it again except if he's in the habit of going out & coming back late before that incident.


He apologized to her,she refused & was raining insults on him.he respected himself & left the room she followed him definitely no matter how calm & patient you're you must loose it.I believed she said something that provoked him to make him loose it to hit her.


Calling her mother into her matrimonial problems is not a good one.if he's never done that before, he humbled himself,he was remorse over what he did.yet she refuced & allowed her mother & brother to take her home.mmm mmm mba nu nu.


As a reasonable mother & grandmother, the mother never acted like one.she should have call the husband to order & advice him & tell him that should be the last time.give them advice that will make things work BTW them not to just come & whisked the girl away.sheybe the brother go marry too?