₦airaland Forum

Graxie:
No simple logic anything, most of them are yet to explore the option of leaving their kids for their sperm donors, they can't even imagine it. If only they know that some of the men will do more for the kids than they are presently doing, they will explore the option.

Mindfulness:
Wow! You can be very proud of yourself. You are very strong. I admire you. You worked and saved money and bought everything for your children and even gained admission to university even though you were alone and then a single mum who even lost one of her children. Sorry for your loss. I hope you are proud of yourself because, trust me, not many people are capable of achieving what you have under such circumstances. You are a hero.

Thanks for sharing your story because your story shows how important sex education is. It would save many young people a lot of pain if parents and schools left religious sentiments aside and taught young people how to handle their sexuality responsibly.

I wish you and your boy the best in life.

thorpido:
Check your mail
cc:Blazing12345

pweedie:
checked my mail. Can't find any message from you. My mail is jumpes85@gmail.com

thorpido:
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.The easiest people for children to model after are the parents.
A child can only go in a different direction
if there is an external influence that is strong like the class teacher or church leader.

Mindfulness:
Wow! You can be very proud of yourself. You are very strong. I admire you. You worked and saved money and bought everything for your children and even gained admission to university even though you were alone and then a single mum who even lost one of her children. Sorry for your loss. I hope you are proud of yourself because, trust me, not many people are capable of achieving what you have under such circumstances. You are a hero.

Thanks for sharing your story because your story shows how important sex education is. It would save many young people a lot of pain if parents and schools left religious sentiments aside and taught young people how to handle their sexuality responsibly.

I wish you and your boy the best in life.

Graxie:
For every single mother here, do your child a favor by locating the sperm donor for child support, go all out. Try welfare and ministry of women affairs, don't raise these kids alone. They will still go back to their father when they grow up just to hear his own side of the story. They might even hate you for manipulating them against their father, wake up. Stop suffering alone, if possible drop the children with their father while you visit once in awhile. Don't tell me you can't trust him with your child, but you trust him enough to have child with him. Stop putting your life on hold, moreso, you can't even go into reasonable relationship without being stigmatise. Our society makes life unbearable for single moms. Be wise!!!

Mindfulness:
I will never understand how any mother can leave her daughter and grandchild alone in this kind of a situation. I pray you will come out stronger from this situation.

thorpido:
The single moms here can send me a DM.
I have something to send to you even if it is a token.

SteveOfu:
My dad refused me getting married to the love of my life then saying he is too old( 34yrs) and much exposed for my age .He was a personal assistant to Abia state Governor then. I was only 16 and felt I have arrived been fiancé to such person.He cherished me. Truthfully,he never touched me.

Few weeks after,,he traveled for business promising to convince my dad on his return. My father's refusal made me stubborn, I didn't want be around my home cos their over Christian life was making them see everything in another view,i cannot confide in my late mum without getting this look of you must be like a rev in this home. so i ran to my girlfriend's house. She was about 4yrs older than I was then but my body structure made us look like age mates. She convinced me to follow her to PH for her birthday party. Didn't know I was been arranged for her boyfriend's brother.
I was drunk ,first time anyways and he took advantage of me. By morning he was apologizing and professing love and wanting to date me... begged me to take him to my home I refused. I was confused,the love of my life is coming home the next week.how will I face him. I went home,my parents were angry with me but still didn't care to know how I feel, what I wanted but happy I came home alive.

Two weeks later I noticed I was pregnant,i opened up to my man and he said"mummy,do not ever ever tell anyone what happened,this child is mine and it's going to be reason your dad will let me marry you." We hide the pregnancy till it was 6 months,then he came again but my dad stubbornly turned him down again claiming my people don't give out a pregnant woman in marriage till I deliver.

After the delivery of my son whose birthday is today too ,my dad said he is free to marry me but without the boy. He made some underground plan to send us to his mum abroad if after talking to my dad with some relations and it didn't work out. He traveled to his village(Item) to get an uncle to help talk to my dad only for him to come back poisoned,he died two days after 6 months after,i got admission for a preliminary course in fedpoly campus. My parents took my child and I went back to school.avoided men like plague,finished my study then proceeded for my OND. After my OND finals, I went home for my aunty's burial,there I met my daughter's father. He tried everything for us to date and I refused then went ahead to tell him my story. He felt pity on me (so I thought Sha). He started visiting me in school more often, giving me listening ears and all that I lack from home.
I decided to give him a chance.

One month into the relationship, I took in, told him and he asked me to get an abortion because he is from my late aunty's compound,I ran to my cousin who is also his cousin and he called for a meeting. This guy who has been pestering me, traveling all the way from Abuja to Oko to see had the guts to tell everyone present that i am a good girl but he has a fiancé he wants to marry.
When asked the way forward, he said he will do what my people call "agbachaa afo ime"(no English na for it but a kinda way of he has nothing to do with the child and the amount for that was 20k then). I didn't know if I should start crying. I cursed him in tears.
My mum said her pain was she nursed this boy in question while babysitting her elder sister's children in that compound, his own mother pleaded with him to take me as his wife but he was adamant. My dad rejected the money,we left. He warned him never to smell our compound.

I had my daughter 29th January 2004 ,her dad had accident that day, shop burnt, container lost in the sea, the girl left him one month later for his friend then he ran back to me. Begged for marriage but no, not for me, all I did was lift the curse, out of joy he said he will never get married till I do and he kept the promise. My mum started pestering me to accept a suitor, to please her I did in 2013 and by 2016 the marriage ended.
So now,i am happily single.I don't ever want to get married.

This is how I became a single mum of 2 champions,though I will never let anyone I know go through it..

MumNatasha11:
Having a child out of wedlock was never my plan, in all I don't regret keeping my daughter. During my youth service, one of my course mate in school who was asking me out then and I never gave in to his advances, charted me up on Facebook, we started talking, as weeks passed, months passed I fell in love with him, thou he wasn't in the country then. Everything was moving on smoothly and happily until he finally came home December 2015. I had to travel to umuahia, Abia state to stay with him, after some days he proposed to me and I accepted the ring because i loved him so very much, We started making plans on meeting his mum because his dad was late, each time we fix a date to go and see his mum ,she comes up with one excuse or the pretending to be ill. After several attempt to introduce me to his mum, none was successful, she neither wanted to see me nor speak with me on phone, he then decided to carry on with the plan without his mum. After visiting my parents with his elder brother and friends for introduction, he later collected the marriage list, before then I started having symptoms of pregnancy, I told him about it, we thought that with the pregnancy she will have no reason to say no. When he choose the date for the traditional marriage, one night I was talking with my mum my supposed mother-in-law called me and said "you will only marry my son over my dead body" with the fear because I just lost my only sister that month, my mum told me that the marriage won't hold, she can't loose her only surviving child again. I told him about my mum's decision, he never acted like he was bothered about it, I felt he would have been influenced by his mum. After 3 months my parents learnt about my pregnancy, she never gave me a breathing space, I went through hell in that house because I was pregnant, I ran out of the house not knowing where exactly to go, with the little money I had with me I rented a room in port Harcourt, Rivers state. After delivery life became so hard that i had go around washing dishes and doing laundry for people with my daughter at my back, I saved money to rent a shop and start selling rubber slippers, when I couldn't renew my house rent I was sent packing out of the house, till date I have been sleeping inside my shop with my daughter, after several armed robbery attacks in the shop, thank God I wasn't raped, nor my daughter injured. I thank God I never gave in to the advice of some friends to abort the baby, she's my reason for living, I struggle and hustle in life is for her, I don't think I would give love a chance anytime soon. God bless all single mothers, the lord is our strength

thorpido:
The single moms here can send me a DM.
I have something to send to you even if it is a token.

sassysure:
Don't blame that lady for being realistic.
That's why I love oyibo. U must pay o. U must visit. U two must share the responsibilities whether he likes it or not.
Here, we use emotions, my child,my child. I carried him for 9 months yet when the child grow up,he will always look for his dad so why doing it alone. They born me to die of suffering while u are busy enjoying your life. Probably married while nobody looks my way except as spare tyre. After all the suffering, u will come and take the glory.
If ladies has been taking bold steps, that their useless mentality will reduce. Imagine as a married woman, one day one 19 yrs old will knock on my door to say he is my husband's child.
Nigerian women are very docile. Thanks to religion.

PerfectMatchNG:
Single mother challenge.
Take yourself back to the reason you became a single mother, will you travel the road again?
If so why and if not why?

Entry closes December 14. The answer Familanders deem the best wins $300 and you can participate from any country.

CsRockefeller:
Sincerely, I wish I have something right now would have learnt a helping hand.

But, I will keep you in mind for January.

Cheers and say hi to your daughter.

ehiblessing:
Am writing this so that the unmarried onces would learn, simply never settle for someone less.

I got married June 2013 thinking i just made the best decision never knew i had just made one of my life mistake,i was young and opened having gone through a rough breakup i decided to get married to my ex husband.

The first thing i noticed was that he tried seperating me from my family and friends, at first i didnt really mind. Less than 100 days after my marriage was when i received the first beating just because i filled the kettle so when it boils it pours on the ground. You see i took in immediately so i was always cold during the evenings but because my kettle was small i would want to fill it so i can use it. I had to report him to my aunty and the next day my aunty settled us. And from that day i became mind full of how i talk to him.

The next was when he was having a fight with his sister i tried seperating them i was hitting him to stop and he just turned around to start strangling me the mum and everybody was shouting for him to leave me but he refused till his mum fell on the floor that was when he removed his hand from my neck meanwhile i was still seven months pregnant and that was how it continued till i put to bed.

When my baby was 2months he beat me again and i had to leave the house for sometime he came begging and i accepted because i really wanted my marriage to work this was something i had put in my best,like there was nothing i just wanted than a peaceful home in all these my business was crumbling because he usually collects from my money from where i keep it i. all this i could not talk to anyone because all my family had left me to my faith he had insulted all and no one came to see me cos if they come he would insult them i was not allowed to go home to see my dad either.

2016 i got pregnant again hoping with another child he would become responsible but i was wrong it became worst, we didn't't talk all through my pregnancy he still beat me June 14 which was our marriage anniversary and i gave birth July 16th in all he gave me 4500 to buy baby things i struggled to make up for the rest so shame would not come,i still discharge myself i cant forget how he treated me when i was in labor or was it when i fainted at hone and i called him to come home and even when when he came he told me if that was why i called he home and left the house immediately only to come back 10pm.


Am not even going to talk about the cheating or the emotional abuse, if am eating insult i laugh too much self its insult. We dont talk, no sleeping on the same room, in short it was as if i was leaving alone and that's is why its easier for me now.Of a truth shame would not even allow me say the things i went through just because of that man, and finally october 23 2017 my birthday he beat me again and used my head to open our kitchen door and i told him one word i wont give you an opportunity to lay your hands on me again.

October 26th i finally parked out and since then the grace of God has never left me. It was not easy and its still not easy taking care of my kids, rent,schooling and the almighty feeding but am greatful to God that he his face has always shine on me he refused doing anything in his words i left with the children because i was capable. I even took him to welfare here yet nothing came out.

I have learnt to love and appreciate myself.
For my kids i wont trade them for anything but i wish i had stayed at home and count beans the day i met him.

P.s pardon my typo and errors

aro1:
sorry about your ordeal.. Are you still ready to accept another man into your life?

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MumNatasha11:
to answer ur question, it was my mil that refused seeing or talking to me, my mum started maltreating me when she learnt I was pregnant because of her post in church, her maltreatment made me run away. I can't go back to my parents because I have made all effort to do that but we weren't welcomed, and for the father of my daughter, he didn't deny the pregnancy, but never asked after me nor the baby ever again. If u think am lying, my shop is at 83 Rumuola/rumuokuta , opposite first bank. Lastly I registered today because a friend that knows what we are going through sent me the link to try my luck

lavylilly:
ehiblessingrun far from him, his known to play on single moms emotion, all he want is the cookies at 45 his still yet to settle down.

lavylilly:
ehiblessingrun far from him, his known to play on single moms emotion, all he want is the cookies at 45 his still yet to settle down.

aro1:
do you know me personally please? Why all this accusations...

Graxie:
No simple logic anything, most of them are yet to explore the option of leaving their kids for their sperm donors, they can't even imagine it. If only they know that some of the men will do more for the kids than they are presently doing, they will explore the option.

ozonechrome:
If you separate with your hubby you'll comfortably leave your kids for him���

Not all mothers are capable of being mothers though �
I hear stories of women killing their kids to get back at their dad.

Graxie:
First of all the kids are our kids not my kids. Stop quoting me, irresponsible thing.

ehiblessing:
Kikikikikikiki i no they do audio love again self

thorpido:
Something is wrong with your email.

Papertrail11:
So sad women have to go through this.

I know Nigerian women can be sometime problematic but they deserve "Love"

Would be glad if i can help in someway or the other.