Skepticus:


"Responsible" guys do but how many of you would give them a chance?

Those sleek-talking assholes and straight-out jerks/thugs who are exciting with good bed game are the ones that you are likely to spread your legs for.

It's no fault of yours, though. The men who turned most of you into single mothers, either as single or married exhibit alpha tendencies which women naturally desire. The nice but "boring" good guys who are respectful to women often lose out in the end. Nature has programmed it into women to screen out men whose genes are considered "weak". The big problem is that most of these jerks you spread your legs for are also attractive to other women like you, so he has options which makes his chances of staying with you alone, difficult.

My only problem is the victimhood that you are all claiming. No one is to be blamed. Live with the consequences of your terrible decisions.

CHoccolaTE:

So did she give birth and where is the child if she did?

bukatyne:


@bold:

Are you saying that nature designed women to fall for irresponsible guys?

Really?

Then how did nature intend the family unit to continue?

Skepticus:


"Responsible" guys do but how many of you would give them a chance?

Those sleek-talking assholes and straight-out jerks/thugs who are exciting with good bed game are the ones that you are likely to spread your legs for.

It's no fault of yours, though. The men who turned most of you into single mothers, either as single or married exhibit alpha tendencies which women naturally desire. The nice but "boring" good guys who are respectful to women often lose out in the end. Nature has programmed it into women to screen out men whose genes are considered "weak". The big problem is that most of these jerks you spread your legs for are also attractive to other women like you, so he has options which makes his chances of staying with you alone, difficult.

My only problem is the victimhood that you are all claiming. No one is to be blamed. Live with the consequences of your terrible decisions.

Blazing12345:


I wouldn't join issues with you, because opinions are like assholes everyone is entitle to one. But I will leave you with the quote that life's race isn't for the Swift and we have our different demons to fight. So please fight yours and I'm fighting mine.

I will continue to see love as a beautiful thing and continue to believe in it. Loving any human or falling in love is like a parcel, until you unwrap you can never see the content, so I only hope people continue to have the best parcels whenever they happened to be in love or get married.

on that note, leave single mothers alone, don't castigate people you don't know their stories and continue with your perfect life cheers.

Skepticus:


The term "irresponsible" can be subjective at times but in this context, I believe that you are referring to males who don't stay around to father their kids. Well, I believe that nature designed women intrinsically to seek out mates who have certain physical attributes, behavioural attributes like strength, aggression, selfishness (non-chalance, sometimes), attraction to other females, and ability to accumulate resources (money, land etc). Humans are incredibly complex and despite our evolving society, our primal biological nature has found a way to adapt to these changes. Nature designed women for assholes but it doesn't mean that women would marry them (assholes have options). There are weaknesses in the complex system of the society and the interesting world of women that give chances to "weak" and less desirable men (men who lack these qualities) to breed and contribute to the human gene pool.

As for the family unit, as long as humans continue to procreate, it's nothing to worry about. If you were referring to monogamy, understand that monogamy is a modern invention of human when we began to settle into societies. It's not the primal nature of our species.

annex1:
This thread is "Beauty" in its entirety!

baby124:

You no get money, you want to go and carry and maintain a chubby lady with kids. How do you intend to add to their lives financially? Or you want to make yourself baby number 3 on an already struggling single mum

Pluto11:



I live in a 4 bedroom bungalow in Lagos and don't pay rent cos it's mine. I make my money online in dollars which makes the currency market one of my biggest worries. I use a money exchanger right here on Naiiraland when I don't want to do direct international transfers.

I work for no man and sit in my home all day with my PC where my troublesome relatives come to me for money. The church I've been invited to join as a pastor is based in the USA. Texas to be exact. I did not attend their interview last October but will this year unfailingly, which is one reason I want to marry now so I can get my own church fast.

You earn a salary to manage life but I make a lot of money to help others, some of whom I don't even know.

You don't know me from Adam, have never met me and yet feel you can talk trash to me because we are both on a faceless forum where I am looking for something?

What is wrong with you, you mannerless 124th baby of a wayward tortoise, is that your young mouth is itching and you don't know how to scratch it back. Go and eat raw cocoyam. It should help


Nonsense!

Hamachi:
why the bolded?

Moji12:
I would v loved to put my story up there too, but from what i v been reading so far hell no as my ordeal cant b compared to what i v bn reading so far My son is the best thing that has ever happened to me coupled with the fact that it all ended in praise as i and his dad r back together though it was a very tough journey for good 4 years. To all other single mum please hang on for it shall all end in praise for you too the Lord is your strength





Most importantly during those trying times i never planned on neglecting for any relationship, Never!!!

IyaTola:
I think you should share, we learn everyday.

Moji12:

ozonechrome:
I'm sharing mine so young ladies can learn.

I met my ex in school.
We dated for about 5years and in those 5years there were ups and downs in the relationship but he always came back begging and made up for it.

He's the text book narcisst.

We already had our introduction when I got pregnant.
I relaxed a bit because we were already preparing for marriage and were just waiting for his parents who were not not in the country then to have our trad.

After I took in my ex changed to a monster overnight.
He felt I trapped him with pregnancy.

It didn't make sense to me as we had dated for about 4yrs then and had done introduction and waiting for traditional ceremony.

He asked me to abort it and I refused.
I can't kill a child I can't create.

I had a very good job and could take care of myself and the baby so I asked him to take a walk if he doesn't want to take responsibility.

His parents and mine got involved and then we settled and got married traditionally.

We were preparing for the white wedding but his attitude towards me was intolerable.

He hated me like really hated me.
I couldn't understand it then until I started reading about narcissism.

I refused to do the white wedding as I knew I couldn't tie myself to this for the rest of my life.

We were living in different states because of job and after I took in he never visited me again.

He talked me down and tried to kill my self esteem.
I wasn't a saint too as I also said hurtful things to him just to make him know how it felt.

He brought out the worst in me that I never knew I had.

I had an accident when I was about 8months gone.
I was the one driving and my car somersaulted into an open drainage.

My "husband" didn't care for me or his baby.

I can't go into all he did as the story is so much.

After I had our baby he didn't bother to see her until she was 6months old.

When he finally came, he left the next day even though he was on 20days annual leave.
He spent it with his new catch.

I can tell this story with so much joy now as the pain is all gone and I'm happy again.

He's remarried and I left the country with my baby.


I decided to share this to let every woman whether single or married know that no one defines you.
You are beautiful, you are strong and can be someone for yourself and your baby.

Just trust God he makes all things beautiful in his time.

The pain fades and you'll be happy again.

IyaTola:
Moji, So fun wa kaba le ko ogbon

Moji12:
i understand you Iya Tola i just dont feel any need to cause it ended up bn a blessing in disguise, i jus feel happy at the end of it all besides if most single mums here who shared their experiences ended up the way my story did i bet u they wouldnt feel any need to as well.

It is all in the past now, a history, but if i should go by your statement i.e to learn then forget mine cant be compared to wat i v read here.

My sons dad has bn in his life right from day one infact he was in the labour room with me when i was bout delivering our son u can c dat my story is quite different we dint jus get married but we are back together now.

I wont lie though that those years we were separated wasnt hell but i jus v reasons to thank God at the end of it all. He is also a nairalander n we r following eachother.


One thing i learnt from mine is Whatever that is rightfully yours/ belong to you will definitely be yours. Jus give let it fly n give it time if it is yours it will definitely come back to you.

Tonnyray:
Hmmmmmmm.....
Akiika.

ozonechrome:
I'm sharing mine so young ladies can learn.

I met my ex in school.
We dated for about 5years and in those 5years there were ups and downs in the relationship but he always came back begging and made up for it.

He's the text book narcisst.

We already had our introduction when I got pregnant.
I relaxed a bit because we were already preparing for marriage and were just waiting for his parents who were not not in the country then to have our trad.

After I took in my ex changed to a monster overnight.
He felt I trapped him with pregnancy.

It didn't make sense to me as we had dated for about 4yrs then and had done introduction and waiting for traditional ceremony.

He asked me to abort it and I refused.
I can't kill a child I can't create.

I had a very good job and could take care of myself and the baby so I asked him to take a walk if he doesn't want to take responsibility.

His parents and mine got involved and then we settled and got married traditionally.

We were preparing for the white wedding but his attitude towards me was intolerable.

He hated me like really hated me.
I couldn't understand it then until I started reading about narcissism.

I refused to do the white wedding as I knew I couldn't tie myself to this for the rest of my life.

We were living in different states because of job and after I took in he never visited me again.

He talked me down and tried to kill my self esteem.
I wasn't a saint too as I also said hurtful things to him just to make him know how it felt.

He brought out the worst in me that I never knew I had.

I had an accident when I was about 8months gone.
I was the one driving and my car somersaulted into an open drainage.

My "husband" didn't care for me or his baby.

I can't go into all he did as the story is so much.

After I had our baby he didn't bother to see her until she was 6months old.

When he finally came, he left the next day even though he was on 20days annual leave.
He spent it with his new catch.

I can tell this story with so much joy now as the pain is all gone and I'm happy again.

He's remarried and I left the country with my baby.


I decided to share this to let every woman whether single or married know that no one defines you.
You are beautiful, you are strong and can be someone for yourself and your baby.

Just trust God he makes all things beautiful in his time.

The pain fades and you'll be happy again.

PuZZyNegro:
The attached screenshot is the reason I will never pity any single mother.

Most of them know what they are doing, but just want to eat their cake and have it.

A young girl will deliberately get pregnant for a guy in the name of love only for the guy to move on to the next girl when he's tired of her shiiit.

I knew this girl as a young promising girl who should not be more than 22 years old.

I was surprised when she started posting the pictures of her baby and pregnancy bump.

Now, she's saying the guy wants to marry her. While not let the guy marry her first before giving birth for him?

This excuse of wanting to accept the single mothers is the reason it's proliferating. The way people that conceived out of wedlock were treated in the past made young girls to be extremely careful of whom they are dealing with.

But now, caution is thrown to the wind. It seems like for every 100 girls, there's at least one single mother.

We need to condemn this abnormality. Forming, you are strong, you are happy because of your child is consolation of the afflicted.

Will the child make you less happy if you give birth to her/him in a formal constituted marriage?

QuinModah:

This thread is a great avenue for people to learn from others life experience and make decisions for themselves. I think � it worthy of a front page even though It been since 2019.

Follak:
I wish I can put up my story

Homeboiy:



She aborted it ,went to get pregnant to the next guy,now they have a son .

She's still living together with the guy .