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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain (59403 Views)
Help! My Marriage Is Giving Me Pain. / An American Woman With Two Husbands And Three Children Is Causing A Stir Online / Sex Is Causing Problems In My Marriage, Help Me Save My Marriage (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by pocohantas(f): 12:29pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
They always have one trick question. "What business will you like to do?" When a NIGERIAN man asks a working woman that question, just know there is a high chance he is either going to convince you to leave your job or force you to leave it. Typical attitude of those market men that marry educated women and turn them to accountants in their shops. All for bragging rights. God forbid I end up with one. djon78: 4 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by midnighter(f): 12:37pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
Saintmary: Lol they're just excusing rubbish because its not their relative Which age is she supposed to be reaching? Is he running a pension scheme from their house ![]() |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by midnighter(f): 12:41pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
bukatyne: I think somebody else got it right when they said that the man senses that OP is taking out her frustrations on their daughter. That would explain these funny funny rules. He thinks she's trying to neglect her motherly duties so that he will bend and allow her to work So he's piling even more of them on her, even ones that don't make any sense. If she's not very careful the man may even insist that she teaches the girl at home since she keeps reminding him that she is a graduate. She should just be very very careful not to drag captain with this guy because the issue is already getting to the edge and he's not interested in her ambitions at all. |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Casemiro(m): 12:41pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
Ladylite: jeez! what drugs are you on, stupidity pills? . 2 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by djon78(m): 12:47pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
pocohantas: My dear God no go gree make e be your portion. There are still a lot of Nigerian men that wants there wives to fly high. I have seen men that allowed there wives do there thing, at the end, it was the best solution they took. Most of our men don't even know that educated working women makes better spouse. They can give you sound advice that will add great value to there life. Even the respect, they will still respect there husband well as long as they treat them right. Even the unexposed women can be a nightmare, troublesome, quarrelsome, especially when they done born plenty for the man, there children are growing, they have arrived, and will show the man pepper. I have seen many men complain even with regrets. Many men are not wise. The demographics is changing rapidly. And its by wisdom you will live with a modern woman now. It was not like our parents time Many women are educated, exposed now, and as a man you must tread carefully, be honest with them or else you will end up with a broken home. Wisdom is the key here for my fellow men 4 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by AloneTK: 12:51pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
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Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by AloneTK: 12:56pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
Damilolacoker: 2 [/quote] I've not really had time to read all the comments to know if mine is a repetition of what might have been communicated. You ask for advise, you'll get several on this forum. *** Look at it from this angle. You've said nothing about your qualification. What if hubby is against you working because your present qualification isn't gonna earn you something meaningful (try imagine an SSCE holder acting as a sales rep/shop attendant- Peanuts). Secondly, no one knows if the marriage was properly/legally contracted (with full parental consent- for them not to have listened to you, instead asking you outrightly to obey every of his wishes), and also the nature of your hubby's job (if always around or mostly away for weeks/months/years). Out of concerns for the family, he may not like to have strangers under the guise of househelps in his house. *Modified* I am not against women taking up employment. I support it because it empowers both parties in the management of the home. In fact, it should be a thing of pride when your wife is doing well. If you are matured enough, you'd know that diplomacy is the KEY. Being diplomatic can get your hubby to give you more than the approval you seek. Another one, I read a few comments by some asking that you have him open a shop or business for you, have you at any time discussed that with him to know the possibility (you both will know your present stand economically). Getting the approval to get a job should you both revisit the issue is no guarantee to living happily if you cannot find a way to manage your hubby's shortcomings/dark sides or do you think the job will include "peaceful marriage" as part of its package. Coming to a forum like this may not be the best, you have the answers you seek. The only thing that can hinder you from being happy with and in your home is YOU. My sister, marriage is not a finished product, you will have to build it. So, search within and make your home a happy one by using the key. Remember....DIPLOMACY. Most men like it when women feed their ego, confrontation won't help |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by PerseDew(f): 1:04pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
LilMissFavvy: From her replies, the fear has entered her. It is not her fault, she is still young in life and marriage. 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by EndtimeJudge(m): 1:04pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
only advice i can give is before you marry him or her, check their background, marriagewise.. 2 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by LilMissFavvy(f): 1:08pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
![]() ![]() Chi59: 2 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 1:16pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
crackhaus: That's my boy. I'm well pleased with your comment. ![]() |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by LilMissFavvy(f): 1:16pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
My dear, I even see ladies telling her to tell her husband to open a business for her. If he opens a business, and the business is in his name, then it is as good as she is jobless. OP, if your husband must open a business for you, let it be in your name, since he does not want you to go find a job. Increase your financial demands, and make sure you keep a personal account. He roped you into marriage at a tender age, and still wants to rope your ambition. Let him open a business for you, if he refuse to register the business in your name, that's a red flag, do secret savings, be wise. PerseDew: 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by LadyExcellency: 1:21pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
healthserve: Just advice your sisters to be single and independent. Why marry when you can fly on top of your liberty? |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 1:21pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
LilMissFavvy: My dear, may you never lack wisdom all the days of your life. I don't take the men on this forum very seriously o! Bunch of misogynists. 3 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by yinkaOdutuyo: 1:25pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
yongflex20: na who be the first user and how many time? 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by healthserve(m): 1:27pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
LadyExcellency: Marriage and God doesn't disapprove of liberty. And liberty isn't usurping authority. Authority and Submission principles of Biblical standard doesn't relegate the female part to forced slavery and servitude. Product of bad spiritual mentoring. Show me anywhere I said ladies should not submit honor or respect their husbands Typical Nigerian. When you're used to negative treatment, how would you ever agree to anything different. All my sisters are done with child bearing. All. FYI If the females are useless, did you know twice women were decoders in the history of Israel. Infact more than twice. David the wife of Saul. And Solomon brother wanted David's wife to gain access to the throne. Tell me if her mum has needsater would be comfortable providing them without hissing as her own mother ages? Tell me if the husband runs into a problem how does he get financial support. Did your Bible not say two are better than one, that when one is down the other picks the fallen one back up ( albeit financially). Next time use your brain before you quote me. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by LilMissFavvy(f): 1:30pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
Yes o, there is hope anyways, as I read through comments I have seen few who are sincere enough to say that the husband is wrong. UyaiIncomparabl: 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by pocohantas(f): 1:32pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
They know these things, but the Nigerian horseband is a very wicked creature. He only cares about his ego and wellbeing. That is why they cheat on their wives and expect her to keep submitting, kill her dreams and she keeps submitting. Over the years, they will succeed in training a bitter monster who goes from one crusade to the other. Finally when the kids are grown, she leaves her husband all alone and heads to the house of her son. Ready to unleash her own evil on the DIL. The cycle continues. Typical dysfunctional Nigerian family system. May God give us good husbands and wives. djon78: 2 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by midnighter(f): 1:37pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
And another thing is I can't believe her parents couldn't talk to the guy for her, that is totally crazy! Ahn! I am confused o Her father could have had some soft conversation with the dude, or maybe I didn't see where she explained that her mother never worked ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by PerseDew(f): 1:43pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
LilMissFavvy: Dear, I also suggested business but never thought that a woman's business could be opened in her husband's name. That is new to me. The scam of buying a car or property in husband's name is one I know. 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by crackhaus: 1:49pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
UyaiIncomparabl:Na me you dey call your boy? If I enter you ehn, you will not recognize yourself in front of mirror when I'm done with you. |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Fountainofyouth(f): 1:50pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
imam07: You dey craze, come and behead me nah, my father is hale and hearty you irritating schmuck, you are the one lacking parental love and care, if not you won't reason like a slimy scat, so because some low esteem women are starving for a husband of their own, means they should marry the likes of you and Op's husband abi? Get da fvck off my mention.... 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Fountainofyouth(f): 1:53pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
healthserve: Why are you not married? |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by healthserve(m): 1:58pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
Fountainofyouth: Cause people who build people up often get caught up in so many projects. And in the course of action, it's here today, there tomorrow. Never a time to actually meet people let alone connect with them. |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by imam07: 2:02pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
Fountainofyouth:pls go marry. You no supposed dey where matured minds dey. Unmarried person no dey give advice to married people. Your advice is stinking. 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Fountainofyouth(f): 2:07pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
healthserve: Alright. 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Ojuri20: 2:08pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
Damilolacoker: Since you're still young I'll advise you not to work for now. Give birth to all the babies you and hubby planned to have before age 30 while doing this be saving up some money by increasing your financial demand in order for you to be able to start business (persuade hubby to assist you withsome too? with by the time you're through with child-bearing. Then you'll be able to spend enough time with your family and be able to train and monitor your kids properly in which your hubby won't have other options than to support you. |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Fountainofyouth(f): 2:11pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
imam07: I agree that I'm not married and would soon marry, but pls don't tell me you're married, if you are, I pity your wife, I really pity her, because a time will come she will curse the day she set her eyes on you, that is if she hasn't started cursing you in her mind sef, it's only married people that are exposed and can give marital advice abi? See ode of the century. 5 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by NELLY1990: 2:14pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
There are only two keys to ur marital problems, first u need to be submissive to ur husband. Total submission means if he ask u to do something do it and if says don’t do it then don’t do it. Secondly u need to go to God in prayers, u need to surrender ur marriage, ur husband to God for him to do the fixing. Women who are married are facing challenges in their homes fail to understand one secret and the secret is respect and submission to their husbands. U don’t expect God to listen to ur prayers when u don’t listen to ur husband. Once upon a time I use to talk back to my husband but I realized that I was harming him. So I came up with a plan with and I ask God to lead me which he did. Today am enjoying my marriage and my husband. Infact my husband forgets himself all the time and focused on me, sometimes I would b the one to tell him daddy do this for urself and forget about me. Give him peace, support the little he is doing because at some point it will look like the little he is doing is not enough that is y u are looking for a job and men hate the fact that their wives c less of them performing at home. Appreciate him, love him, listen to him, pray for him and support him trust me it’s more than going to a native doctor collecting juju. I quarantine u, u will be surprise. And concerning ur daughter draw his attention on the Bible verse that talked about using a rod on a child and if ur husband fail to understand that discipline then live him to God besides he is not hurting u but rather hurting God because this is God’s order on child discipline. I hope my advice helps |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by midnighter(f): 2:17pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
bukatyne: Lol, that denomination is not recognised! |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by cococandy(f): 2:26pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
The amount of irritating comments on this thread is an eye opener to anyone who’s wondering what’s wrong with our society 5 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by cococandy(f): 2:29pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
And people who say Nigerian women are not ambitious and being nothing to the table wonder why. When young girls are frequently inundated with advice like these frozen70: 5 Likes |
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