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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage (2034 Views)
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Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by madridguy(m): 1:02am On Dec 23, 2019 |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by ireneidiva(f): 4:57am On Dec 23, 2019 |
bukatyne:Not everyone wants to marry. Young adults that want to marry should prepare for it. Your purpose on earth is more important. I wonder the kind of preparation that starts from teenage stage. Lack of preparation for marriage makes people live loose, purposeless lives? And yes, some marriages can slow down/kill your dreams. It is always better to be on something or on your way at least before getting married. My last comment on this. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by ireneidiva(f): 4:59am On Dec 23, 2019 |
Ipheeoma24:My dear. I'm just tired. Deeply ashamed that we are still on this level in almost 2020. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by Nobody: 7:32am On Dec 23, 2019 |
bukatyne: How do you prepare teenagers and what do you teach them? 1 Like |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by Nobody: 7:45am On Dec 23, 2019 |
LilMissFavvy: Divorce and remarriage are much easier in the west than Nigeria. We can find all stuff on the internet to confirm our bias but you are granted much more respect and freedom as a woman in first world countries. There is no stigma attached to single hood, childlessness or divorce. Saying that women abroad face the same problems as Nigerian women is like saying that first world countries are like developing countries because they also have poor people. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by Nobody: 7:46am On Dec 23, 2019 |
Goodgod213: What does she have to offer? |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by ResidentSlut(f): 8:11am On Dec 23, 2019 |
Papers. Your black brothers are known gold diggers. They just get upset when a woman beats them to it. Or won’t endure them at their poverty levels. Then she’s a runs girl Mindfulness: 4 Likes |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by folake4u(f): 8:13am On Dec 23, 2019 |
Ipheeoma24: Lol I laughed out so loud mehnn . Yours is good oh, I'm in final year and everybody's been singing it in my ears, I told them I wasn't even ready and I hadn't graduated, they were like "Don't worry you'd finish your education in your husband's house". One woman even had the gut to tell me that "Do I want to finish my father's money?". So I went further to tell her that I don't even have a job, she was like "Don't worry, you'd manage yourself, after marriage, you can look for work, all these shakara you people are doing, you'd still end up in the kitchen". Mehnn I was shook. Funny enough, it's mostly women that are culprits of telling young ladies to go marry. 5 Likes |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by Nobody: 8:14am On Dec 23, 2019 |
ResidentSlut: 1 Like |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by bukatyne(f): 10:09am On Dec 23, 2019 |
Mindfulness: Preparation for marriage is like preparation for a career, sex education, introduction to religion etc. It is age appropriate and in stages. First, the teen has to be guided through the steps of self discovery. Personality type, likes, dislikes, dreams, aspirations, self respect, self control, self esteem, self love. ability to stand alone if they are convinced they are right aka not bowing to peer pressure, sexual purity and responsibility, ability to discern, ability for logical thinking so they do not view personality traits in silos, assertiveness, negotiation skills, ability to embrace their weaknesses, delayed gratification, problem solving skills, relationship guidelines, responsibilities, rights and consequences etc. Each gender would also be taught on love and submission, expectations in marriage, passion, sexual responsiveness and exploration etc. Of course, some of these teachings would be as adults actually getting ready to marry. Now, their orientation is shaped aright so before they enter into a relationship they think critically of the usefulness, personality type to theirs etc. It would in turn guide them to the right spouses for them and hitch the person as quickly as possible. For me, I believe in 'configuring' someone to make the right choices than spelling out A, B and C for them. Cc.: ireneidiva |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by Goodgod213: 10:50am On Dec 23, 2019 |
Mindfulness: What do you have to offer? |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by Nobody: 10:57am On Dec 23, 2019 |
bukatyne: A very nice list you have there but it isn't specifically cut to marriage as such but to life in general, which I think you have also implied. I am sure most parents have wanted and want their kids to be self-aware, self-confident, smart, solution oriented, civil you name it but divorce is still on the rise. I know people who have most of the traits you have named there and still have had difficulties in their relationships or a fair share of heart-breaks or got divorced. There are countless marriage counsellors out there and yet some marriages can't be saved. There are millions of books on relationships and yet it becomes increasingly difficult to build lasting relationships. We all seem to agree on what a good relationship is supposed to be like, loving, supportive, fun, sincere and so on and what it takes to be a good partner but millions of people don't get it right even when they give their best and even if they wish to find lasting love more than anything else. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by Nobody: 11:00am On Dec 23, 2019 |
Goodgod213: Nothing. Now tell me what the 98-year-old-white-lady has to offer. I want to learn. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by bukatyne(f): 11:13am On Dec 23, 2019 |
Mindfulness: But... People are not intentional about marriage. Read through this thread for instance; almost everyone has revolted against preparing kids for marriage. They would prepare/train their kids for their career, purpose etc etc and marriage would come when it comes. An average human in Nigerian spends the first 25yrs preparing intentionally for a career path or even job. While on the job, they do self appraisals, appraised by superiors/junior colleagues, are assessed, are re-trained, do refresher courses for a career/job that they will do not have for their lifetime. Average working span is 35yrs active service or 60/65yrs old. Yet someone we will spend the rest of our lives with, bring up kids with, we shop them as if we are shopping for flip flops we need for a one-time beach party. Some people even do more thinking when buying tomatoes than getting married. After the marriage, no maintenance, no appreciation, no appraisals, no assessments, no refresher courses needed, nothing! Or some people decide to do crash courses of cooking, cleaning, respect and provision when the child is already unbendable with several body counts and skewwed view of marriage and relationships. Trust when when I say a lot of children are not trained for marriage in Nigeria. I am talking of training to even know the right spouse in the first place. Forget training about cooking and cleaning the house. Those ones can be learnt in 2wks. If the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do? If you marry the wrong spouse what can marriage books do except you both or willing to change your core or you are willing to keep/start putting up with the person's shenanigans? 1 Like |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by TruckFit(m): 11:27am On Dec 23, 2019 |
folake4u: Abeg ask the woman if she has a grown up son you can marry she'll instantly understand what the bills of been a groom means.. set awon |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by Nobody: 11:38am On Dec 23, 2019 |
bukatyne: I often disagree with you but I completely agree with you on this. We are taught everything but little about the dynamics in human relationships, something that is so important to most of us. We all want to love and be loved. We desire meaningful relationships. We seek this form of fulfillment. It drives many of our decisions. The reason why people are wary of such topics is that people use marriage to bully other people for their choices in life and/or for their misfortunes in this sphere of life and also because it often ends with "women be submissive" shallow phrases. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by Ipheeoma24(f): 2:20pm On Dec 23, 2019 |
folake4u:hahaha Imagine |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by LilMissFavvy(f): 10:36pm On Dec 23, 2019 |
You are totally correct...... Mindfulness: |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by Nobody: 2:14pm On Dec 24, 2019 |
Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry Go and Marry folake4u: |
Re: Why Ladies Must Prepare Early For Marriage by Numero9: 2:23pm On Dec 24, 2019 |
Unfortunately, the females prepare early for make up, slaying and opening legs! |
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