Bahddo:
nice attempt at a Strawman argument. Refusing to attribute everything to the spiritual is not the same as assuming spirituality does not exist. One would think that's easy for anyone to see.

Also, any discerning eye who knows a thing or two about human psychology can tell a lot from as few as two words (not just the what but the how it is said).

If you have read the op's posts and are still looking for concrete evidence that the husband finds her regular 'polite' suggestions on what he should wear or do irritating (and would rather believe enemies of their marriage cast a spell on him to act without reason), you have no business mentioning me. We are on different wavelengths. Stick to your shallow waters. Bye.

richie240:

I think men are culpable in ds matter.

In d process of wooing ladies most men 'devalue' themselves. They stoop so low in d process of making d woman accept them. They lay a false foundation of equality/liberality/submission right from d word 'go', thereby feeding d lady's subconscious with (false) perception of reality: actions they'll discard no sooner they succeed in putting d ring in her finger - thereby leaving the woman confused with d notion that his man has changed from what he was/he used to do prior their wedding.

To d men:
** if u know u won't be holding her bags in public/opening the car door for her etc after d wedding so that ppl won't say u are a weakling, then don't fool her with such while courting.

**If You know dt kneeling before/to ur wife is unmanly/unafrican then don't indulge her with such dumb acts before d wedding in any guise, be it proposal or worreva!

**If u know u are d type who desires respect (every sane man should), don't let ur gf talk to u "anyhow" before she bcoms ur wife. Unfortunately, most he-diots with '3rd legs' will fuulishly condone disrespect from their gf when courting, then frown at same acts when d same lady bcoms their wife.

walahi, we men sef no dey try at all!

doitforyou:
You didn’t deserve to get beat up on Christmas Day.

Personally, I believe that anytime violence is introduced in a relationship, the relationship is done. It never happens only once especially when the abuser is not remorseful. It’s even worse that your children are exposed to violence.

If you apologize for being beaten or you entertain his silent treatment you’ve given him a green light for future beatings.
You are promoting evil. Try to repent.

LilMissFavvy:
Slapping and beating you up because you requested for photo shot, shows your husband had something boiling him up, and he released his aggression on you. Give him space and face your kids. You did nothing wrong and owe him no apologies, if his concience is still working, he will apologise to you.

Mrsprissy:
Thank you so much everyone for your advice . Like I said earlier nothing actually happened between us before Christmas , everything was okey , on Monday December 23rd we went out shopping for Christmas after we took the kids out to the playgrounds and we ended the day with a nice dinner at the restaurant. On Christmas morning we woke up fine no arguments, he left the house and went to get his hair cut, I picked up his clothes and left it on the bed by the time he get back so he can wear them, he came back very normal on a good mood , the only time he got angry was when I asked him to go and change , I didn’t raise my voice , I only told him the clothes doesn’t look nice for the special occasion that was when he told me to keep quiet and I did. He took 1 hour just to change the T-shirt to a shirt and I wasn’t not happy but I didn’t say anything because he wasn’t in the right mood. Yes He beat me just because I have asked him to take a family picture , I swear to God I’m telling the truth and if I’m not lying because it won’t put any money to my bank account. This is the 2nd beating after 6 years of marriage , but this is one was worse than the first one. Something did happened back in October ( his fault) but we have already settle everything and went back to normal. I know it doesn’t make sense to some of you , even myself I just don’t understand why did he beat me with so much hatred when I did nothing wrong

midnighter:


So is it a medical issue or a self-respect issue? Youre just typing rubbish lol let me free you, this discussion is useless.

I thought you were going to explain what I dont know but you succeeded in typing inanity, Bye

LilMissFavvy:
Slapping and beating you up because you requested for photo shot, shows your husband had something boiling him up, and he released his aggression on you. Give him space and face your kids. You did nothing wrong and owe him no apologies, if his concience is still working, he will apologise to you.

sitepricila:
In fact, right now I'm sitting inside my car backed under a tree at the airport, cos my wife offended me and I needed to get out of the house ASAP. I'll still eat her food, answer her but casually though until she "apologize". But if she refuses to apologize, I don't have a choice but to make peace.
I'll be doing myself more harm than going to bed in this mood..

doitforyou:

lol if your idea of marriage is to be pummeled on Christmas Day while your child cries for you, then you can save it for the women in your family that will be their portion.

emonis88:

U mentioning my family here shows how inexperienced, myopic and daft that u r. So the olodo clearly defines u. Mumu

doitforyou:

lol so why are you so triggered?! If you believe the idea of marriage is to be beaten to a pulp in front of your children on the day most families are celebrating, then I see no reason why you shouldn’t want that for the women in your family. Don’t you want good things for your family?

Zing85:

Best response in the history of nairaland, see mummy Jr there is this Yoruba saying that when a husband has finished doing what he wants to do he will now use agidi to enter.
PS if you beg him or try to talk to him or try to appear to friends and family that you are good your children, God will not make them motherless babies. Nobody is perfect especially in this Nigeria but when you are wrong you need to make up for it
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Plead:

Look at words?

No amount of vabal rants/ assault equals physical assault. Nigerians/Africans need to know this!

Animals

midnighter:


It's not a justification but still a reason. That person has a point.

We can give OP the benefit of the doubt that she "politely asked him To go and change" but if she knows that her tone was disrespectful then that's another angle.

Glorygrace:
I think you offended him by your speech so he reacted by beating you. Apologize and make up with your husband. Watch your words subsequently. Compliments of the season.

Jewessgratitude:


My dear forget. Do you know if shes been doing it before and.d the mans been pilling it up for her. In fact I just saw one of her responses to someone that, she used to say worst things and do worst to the hubby but he never beat her for it bla bla bla...so its prolly as a result of pent up feelings that the man unleashed. Who knows maybe the man feels.if he doesn't end it with beating they might get to the friends house and she'll begin to show herself again. So the man kukuma teh pause to it�. You see that at the friends place, she come maintain. She could not even utter a word. The man deliberately did that to resett her brain and it worked.

It is well.
Person like me mor like beating ao I dey sabi code ahead to avoid story that touch.

baby124:
I think your husband is cheating. He may think he’s in love with this woman and you all are an inconvenience all of a sudden. You would be surprised how some married men can fall in love. Crazy ones I tell you. OP, maybe the side chick bought the shirt that you said was not nice . On a serious note, it’s either he’s cheating and had plans that day. He tried to thwart the family plans but you get strong head.

Or he’s got a psychological problem. Please report this to your family and his. Get to the root of the matter. In the mean time find a safe place to stay and consider what is best for you and your kids. The next time he snaps, you may not survive it.

MariaAngeles:

Trashed!
Now, let us wait for sensible comments ...

Enwhen:



How do u expect that kinda of person to beg, it is clear he is not in a stable mental state... He is being depressed or being manipulated , and she must act fast , before the madness push him to pack her loads out that she is a witch... I have seen many of such , that man is in a serious problem, he needs help

Plead:

Look at words?

No amount of vabal rants/ assault equals physical assault. Nigerians/Africans need to know this!

Animals

BRATISLAVA:


Lol.
Because she's told you she did nothing wrong, you've even imagined the tone she used. What tone can one use to ask for a family picture? She already agreed to his bad dressing by asking him for a picture, still, knowing that he didn't change his clothes and was looking unpresentable. Can you not simply assess the information provided? Why must you invent the other part to satisfy the narrative that all women are trouble makers?
Madam, what tone do you want her to use? Is her husband a God that he cannot be spoken to because he is her husband? Should she live in perpetual fear of speaking to him because of "tone"? You can make any type of excuse for domestic violence. Your world of innocent abusers and fearful slaves tells us that you have issues with women. If you are one, you are either living in extreme servitude or you make up these things to please men even when you can see there's no reason (which is still justification) for brutality.

What if each time men did something to annoy women, they had the physical strength and bone density to beat them up? What if each time a man opened his mouth and another person picked "offense" they decided to beat them up? Can you now see why it's madness to support men beating women for speaking?

midnighter:


You need to understand the difference between the words "justification" and "reason" before quoting me again my sweet

I have noticed that in these kinds of threads, you tend to jump through hoops just to extricate the woman instead of calling a spade a spade. Women are not innocent 100% of the time just because they are women.

And you also ignore all the contextual information in a post and pick out one sentence that the person wrote and use it to begin a pointless argument, which makes trying to reason with you quite futile. All these emotive terms like "fearful slaves" and "innocent abusers" is just you projecting your misplaced indulgence onto a situation that doesnt relate with what youre saying.

You think youre helping womens rights by doing this, but youre actually making the situation for women much worse. If you want women to be treated better then give them respect they deserve by holding them accountable for their actions instead of overprotecting and babying them all the time just to prove a point.

BRATISLAVA:


When you discovered there is no justification for beating women, you now called it reason. But you know there is no reason to beat another human up just because you don't like what they're saying.

My aim isn't to help women rights. I want men to be responsible for their actions and to realize that there is no "reason" to beat about person for what ever it is they said. Otherwise men should prepare to be beaten for speaking.

BRATISLAVA:


What do you mean babying? For the sake of sanity, you do not baby a person when you tell them that they have freedom of speech and freedom not to be beaten for it. But can I blame you? You live in a place where nobody has any human rights. You've rationalized abuse and given it "reasons". That is why you see domestic battery as okay.

This is how men were supporting infidelity and battery until their daughters called them crying with the same issues that they did to women themselves.

midnighter:


What is the difference between a justification and a reason....? That is what I asked you.

BRATISLAVA:


But, sweets, how did you determine the tone the woman used that warranted the beating?

Were you there?

She's given you her own account, why isn't that enough for you? Why are you trying to incriminate her by all means?

You don't want to baby her, right? Is that why you invented her tone?

Does she have the right to freedom of speech or not?

Oh, you are the one who argued that beating her up and her speaking are a level ground with that crack house.

No need to discuss this any further. Your stand is to support domestic violence and other violence by looking for "reasons" why it happened. He could as well have killed her and you will still find "reasons"and "tone".

Do you think the police care for your "reasons"? He will be arrested for crime, not for what she said to him. Why? Because what she said is not a crime. Beating her is.

Let's not baby him.

No "reason" you give will free him from jail if she decides to press charges. So of what use are your "reasons"?

midnighter:


You have asserted this exact argument before and you didnt respond when I countered it; no need to keep repeating this tired spiel because we both know that you are unable to defend it

Im happy to see that you have posted the link up there so that anybody reading it can see how irrational your arguments are.