funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

Shut up yhu dumbskull.. A man who has money can be controlled by his wife or parents or siblings or friends... On the other hand, a woman with cash can't be controlled by anyone,, just that for her kids' sake she can only be constrained , somehow..

Women have poor insights and are generally narrow-minded.. They don't believe in future, they don't remember the past..

That's why a man is needed to control his woman, for she can't control herself

funmisticqueen:
I don't have a heart.

By the way, point out what is careless in my comment.

I laugh.

Na so that madame talk that year.

There is no smoke without a fire am not saying u shouldn't trust ur wife buh sure she ain't the reason for ur downfall? Maybe u have done something in the past dat can make her 2 let hell loose on u #mine opinion tho

Bro. You too wise, I like your way

simonlee:
simple trick....

use a strange number to forward a text to your phone that reads "i will give you N20million and an oil company job if you divorce your wife and marry me"...
then see if she wouldn't go back to factory settings!

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

You lack wisdom. It's very sad.

funmisticqueen:
look how you twist my words around to satisfy your delusions of grandeur and push your narrative my using other words apart from what I wrote.

Nothing you say makes any sense.
With you, cat is dog and black is white,
salt is sugar and water is blood.

If you all want to drink the wine of your tears and snot, go on ahead and drown your sorrows in the pity and mockery of your brethren. I bid you happy new year

I did not twist your words. I used your post to illustrate the truth. Happy New Year.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

You don't sounds like someone who's going to be a responsible wife. The way u said uncle go and hustle summarizes you

marvelous000:

You're really a terrible person.

Amaechi2023:
You don't sounds like someone who's going to be a responsible wife. The way u said uncle go and hustle summarizes you

That is how all women behave when you are not useful in the providing department.

Martinez39:
Michellekabod2, Ubunja and Co. Was this not what we were discussing? Give a man power, money, and make him the bread winner, his family will benefit from him. Give a woman money, power, and make her the bread winner, her husband will see hell. OP needs to take the red-pill.

Even though the man is at home, his wife has turned turned the kids against him in the cruel and petty game of power dynamics. And many girls had the dishonesty to attack me when I created THIS TOPIC and they acted like parental alienation is not really a thing to worry about and the father should "just spend some time with the kid". Here is a man who is present in his home and yet the kid has turned against him (a case similar to that of emmaodet). Never underestimate the power of brain washing and the wickedness and brutal nature of women. Women are not fair players.

Indeed, Ilekokonit was right in THIS TOPIC OF HIS. Also the arguments and contributions made by ubunja and myself are valid. A family is supposed to work as a unit but the woman purchased properties without the man's knowledge, turned the kids against him, and disrespects him yet folks like funmisticqueen (whose personality is as ugly as she looks) turned this on the man insinuating that the man must have been cruel to his wife in the past. The op opened a joint account with his wife but now, the wife has gotten a secret account.

Any man that remains oblivious to female nature will suffer and get burnt.

While I agree with first link, I disagree with the second.

I am cool and I am mad.

There is a reason why i vowed that the only metric a woman will last in my house is her character. Don't give me headache, I don't give people. Headache either. I don't joke with my peace of mind, I don't like stress.

The moment a woman causes this, you bring out the beast in me. You will come face to face with a monster.

ProtectMyMoney:


Be a man! This 2020.

most of you just like making blanket statements. If you can't give break down of how the man can get out of current situation, please do not waste nairaland bandwidth

owowa145:


Trust me, the woman has co-conspired with key person in her family to go spiritual with d man to become d woman in d house. He needs divine intervention. His downturn ain't normal.

no.... You are wrong. Don't spiritualize everything when clearly it's human error at work.

I am still waiting for him to give details of the business he was into cos I asked so that we can put heads together and channel out something.

Yinibixema:

Olosho stfu. Ugly fool who can’t take her family out of okokomaiko talking about making money as if she has mademoney for herself or her wretched family. Go and make money and stop giving foolish advice here mofo

I am making money, Not much but enough to make me comfortable. Enough to plan my future.

DNSPro:


While I agree with first link, I disagree with the second.

I am cool and I am mad.

There is a reason why i vowed that the only metric a woman will last in my house is her character. Don't give me headache, I don't give people. Headache either. I don't joke with my peace of mind, I don't like stress.

The moment a woman causes this, you bring out the beast in me. You will come face to face with a monster.

You are not the only one hiding a monster within.

There are worse things out there than you

KevMitnick:

You lack wisdom. It's very sad.

You lack insight, what a pity

strungup79:


My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her.

Explain the bolded.

RisenPhoenix:
Your mistake was permitting her to become the breadwinner. When you experienced a downturn, you should have adjusted your family's standards of living down to comfortable levels accordingly, instead of using her own money to maintain that standard. Because you couldn't relinquish the good life, you have effectively relinquished control over your home. No matter how little you make, adjust your expenses to stay within that income. Do not touch her money under any circumstances.

If only men would follow this wonderful advice.

I am almost completely sure you are not giving us the full picture. It would be really interesting to hear your wife's version of this story. As human beings, we tend to tell stories in a way that favors us and make us garner pity. If your wife is the breadwinner at the moment, she deserves your loyalty, respect and understanding. Taking care of the financial responsibilities of a home is not easy. You plan, you worry, you get afraid, you have sleepless nights...especially if your spouse does not pitch in.
Here's what happens. When a man loses his source of livelihood, every little move by a woman suddenly becomes emaaculating. The woman is already under a terrible strain and you are here to barmouth her to strangers.

I frankly do not believe you are doing enough. Factories abound, uber is there, the keke business is there, even uneducated teenagers from the north are hustling and making a good living riding bikes.

Yea, sometimes a man experiences setbacks, my dad did. The true measure of manhood lies in dusting yourself off the ground and trying again. These days sadly, there are too many lazy men who whine instead of actually being men. If you are here bad mouthing your wife, then I'm willing to bet, you do it everywhere. My cousin went through this. Everybody called her wicked. The husband's elder brother was like come and stay with me and I'll fix you up with something. They no tell the brother. Las Las he chases the man out of his home and told everyone to ignore the man because he is lazy. All he does is play video games and sleep.

Society is particularly unfair to women. A quick look through this site will convince any unbiased person of that. You already have men pitying you and condemning your wife which is exactly what you wanted. Oga poster, you came here seeking pity, looking for people to condemn your wife and soothe your ego and you already have faceless strangers doing that, but the truth is you are failing as a husband and a father. These people cheering you on and telling you your wife is wicked are in their ow homes hustling and taking care of their business.

I am a man like you and I will not lie to you. You are your own problem. Take these steps.

1. First of all, love and appreciate your wife. Thank her for all she does.

2. Pray hard and ask God to show you why you are experiencing hard luck. Folks here might not tell you the truth, but you may have a character flaw that is working against you. You may actually be lazy, most lazy people won't admit it. It may also be karma. You may have treated others, including your wife badly in the past hence the problems. Yes, it happens. Find out what the problem is and fix it.

3. Hustle, hustle, hustle! I don't believe in excuses. Real men don't. Meanwhile, what do you do? You can mail me your cv at dehindep@gmail.com.

Hunku, let your wife be. Stop dragging things with her. If she has become the bread winner let her do her job. You on the other side now have time to pray to god to restore your past glory. Just pray and keep trying out new things in terms of work. When you get back to your feet, we can now talk about what to do about your wife.
Suggestion Give her a test of her medicine too when you get back to your feet.

MEN should start embracing this BABYMAMA THING.
MEN who have indulged in such LIVED LONGER.

Another category of MEN who lived Longer are those who married many LADIES.
LADIES detest competitions.
They are naturally territorialistic.
That's why the moment a LADY manifests in the midst of 4 LOVING MALE friends as a friend to one of the males, DISASTER begins...

The Disaster starts manifesting when the males contribute to cook a pot of Food.
When the MEAL is ready to be served, the said GIRLFRIEND to one of them will dish everything including the best part of the meal to her man not minding whether her man contributed only water or Maggi.

SmithRussell:
Shut up yhu dumbskull.. A man who has money can be controlled by his wife or parents or siblings or friends... On the other hand, a woman with cash can't be controlled by anyone,, just that for her kids' sake she can only be constrained , somehow..

Women have poor insights and are generally narrow-minded.. They don't believe in future, they don't remember the past..

That's why a man is needed to control his woman, for she can't control herself

you don't even understand the meaning of the word insight.

But your misogyny and hate for women is strong.


Life will still teach you all very soon

hazard7:

Look bitch am not in mode to heckle so take ur drama out of my sight. I never for once talk about slavery or whatever garbage u mean, get ur act together and a happy new year

Doesn't take much to bring out your uglier side now does it?

Work in your state of mind and emotions this 2020.

Dehindepgenius:
I am almost completely sure you are not giving us the full picture. It would be really interesting to hear your wife's version of this story. As human beings, we tend to tell stories in a way that favors us and make us garner pity. If your wife is the breadwinner at the moment, she deserves your loyalty, respect and understanding. Taking care of the financial responsibilities of a home is not easy. You plan, you worry, you get afraid, you have sleepless nights...especially if your spouse does nitch in.
Here's what happens. When a man loses his source of livelihood, every little move by a woman suddenly becomes emaaculating. The woman is already under a terrible strain and you are here to barmouth her to strangers.

I frankly do not believe you are doing enough. Factories abound, uber is there, the keke business is there, even uneducated teenagers from the north are hustling and making a good living riding bikes.

Yea, sometimes a man experiences setbacks, my dad did. The true measure of manhood lies in dusting yourself off the ground and trying again. These days sadly, there are too many lazy men who whine instead of actually being men. If you are here bad mouthing your wife, then I'm willing to bet, you do it everywhere. My cousin went through this. Everybody called her wicked. The husband's elder brother was like come and stay with me and I'll fix you up with something. They no tell the brother. Las Las he chases the man out of his home and told everyone to ignore the man because he is lazy. All he does is play video games and sleep.

Society is particularly unfair to women. A quick look through this site will convince any unbiased person of that. You already have men pitying you and condemning your wife which is exactly what you wanted. Oga poster, you came here seeking pity, looking for people to condemn your wife and soothe your ego and you already have faceless strangers doing that, but the truth is you are failing as a husband and a father. These people cheering you on and telling you your wife is wicked are in their ow homes hustling and taking care of their business.

I am a man like you and I will not lie to you. You are your own problem. Take these steps.

1. First of all, love and appreciate your wife. Thank her for all she does.

2. Pray hard and ask God to show you why you are experiencing hard luck. Folks here might not tell you the truth, but you may have a character flaw that is working against you. You may actually be lazy, most lazy people won't admit it. It may also be karma. You may have treated others, including your wife badly in the past hence the problems. Yes, it happens. Find out what the problem is and fix it.

3. Hustle, hustle, hustle! I don't believe in excuses. Real men don't. Meanwhile, what do you do? You can mail me your cv at dehindep@gmail.com.

Thank you so much sir. Maybe if a man says it all of them will listen.


But I am a woman and learnt early in life that coddling grown ass men will take you nowhere. But since I am a woman and not mincing my words, I have become the enemy here. He doesn't know that breadwinner depression is a real thing.

I applaud your wisdom once again. You deliver the message across in a way that I can't.

But what is very sad is his victim mentality and self pity

RisenPhoenix:
Your mistake was permitting her to become the breadwinner. When you experienced a downturn, you should have adjusted your family's standards of living down to comfortable levels accordingly, instead of using her own money to maintain that standard. Because you couldn't relinquish the good life, you have effectively relinquished control over your home. No matter how little you make, adjust your expenses to stay within that income. Do not touch her money under any circumstances.

very true sir

Spectrum22:


If only men would follow this wonderful.

They once did... until the new cultural farce emerged that a woman must help/support her husband in the home; some dodo interpreting that help to be financial rather than emotional and mental. That was when society started placing an expectation on women to become at least partial breadwinners; and made men give up part or all of their control over the household in exchange. Men opened the door for their own emasculation; no doubt about it.

RisenPhoenix:


They once did... until the new cultural farce emerged that a woman must help/support her husband in the home; some dodo interpreting that help to be financial rather than emotional and mental. That was when society started placing an expectation on women to become at least partial breadwinners; and made men give up part or all of their control over the household in exchange. Men opened the door for their own emasculation; no doubt about it.

I doff my scarf and kneel in awe. oh sir! Your wisdom truly transcends generations.

What a small child like me cannot see on top of a tree, you have seen while sitting and drinking palm wine

Elders like Dehindepgenius and RisenPhoenix have spoken.

Time to ignore small boys.

APOPTOSIS:
MEN should start embracing this BABYMAMA THING.
MEN who have indulged in such LIVED LONGER.

Another category of MEN who lived Longer are those who married many LADIES.
LADIES detest competitions.
They are naturally territorialistic.
That's why the moment a LADY manifests in the midst of 4 LOVING MALE friends as a friend to one of the males, DISASTER begins...

The Disaster starts manifesting when the males contribute to cook a pot of Food.
When the MEAL is ready to be served, the said GIRLFRIEND to one of them will dish everything including the best part of the meal to her man not minding whether her man contributed only water or Maggi.

Men live longer married to women. Research backs it up

Martinez39:
Michellekabod2, Ubunja and Co. Was this not what we were discussing? Give a man power, money, and make him the bread winner, his family will benefit from him. Give a woman money, power, and make her the bread winner, her husband will see hell. OP needs to take the red-pill.

Even though the man is at home, his wife has turned turned the kids against him in the cruel and petty game of power dynamics. And many girls had the dishonesty to attack me when I created THIS TOPIC and they acted like parental alienation is not really a thing to worry about and the father should "just spend some time with the kid". Here is a man who is present in his home and yet the kid has turned against him (a case similar to that of emmaodet). Never underestimate the power of brain washing and the wickedness and brutal nature of women. Women are not fair players.

Indeed, Ilekokonit was right in THIS TOPIC OF HIS. Also the arguments and contributions made by ubunja and myself are valid. A family is supposed to work as a unit but the woman purchased properties without the man's knowledge, turned the kids against him, and disrespects him yet folks like funmisticqueen (whose personality is as ugly as she looks) turned this on the man insinuating that the man must have been cruel to his wife in the past. The op opened a joint account with his wife but now, the wife has gotten a secret account.

Any man that remains oblivious to female nature will suffer and get burnt.

Funmisticqueen is pro-woman so don't expect an objective response from her,it is always the woman right and men wrong....
He ran the house when he was more financially stable and they lived in tranquility and now its her turn and there is more or less chaos.
There is nothing wrong in a woman leading the house, neither is any thing wrong in a man leading.
Leadership and enslaving/controlling are two different things. Leadership is more like a two people owning a car, one of them taking the drivers seat to drive whilst the other holds a map and directs, it must not be a tussle to hold the wheel. A woman or man can lead,or both can lead themselves(depending the agreement of the couple). What matters is the outcome of your leadership. There is nothing wrong in taking a turn in leadership when one partner is down in whatever. For example if the lady is the leader and she puts to birth,whilst lactating the man takes the role of the leader or if the man falls sick and he is the leader,the lady will assume the role of the leader.
What impact to you make to the marriage when its you turn? Not everyone can handle power in their hands,some use it to avenge their perceived enemies.
An irresponsible man shouldn't lead,same with an irresponsible woman. It is obvious his leadership did less harm than good whilst hers did much havoc. For heaven sake turning the kids against the father and involving the family into their marital home?
If I were the Op I will walk away from the marriage .

@Op don't listen to the pro-man advice on this forum to punish or become vile to her or paint all women as beasts. And also don't listen to the pro-woman advice that will still paint you night black and her a saint because of the preconceived nature of men being beasts.
Don't expect an objective advice from a forum filled with gender based advisers.

I personally advice he walks away and if there is any woman in this same issue who at the loss of fortune suffers from her husband, she should walk away.

strungup79:


You are just like my wife. If marriage is about control, why marry? Why not stay on your own? Making money is not about hustling, if it was i'd be earning over three times what my wife earns. Luck, favour also plays a role. Maybe God just wants to show me who I married.

Learn to ignore ladies starting from the embittered one you quoted.

The best way to treat bad lady is to take a hike and leave her to exercise her powers only on herself. She has turned your kids against you so that's a plus because they won't miss you much. I suggest you leave home temporarily before it gets really ugly because the way it's headed, she may bring in a man right under your roof in your very before.

before i delete my moniker

you are the foolish one, you might even end of been worst than him

the easiest way for a man to give up in life is to engulf himself with self pity

self pity kills more than HIV

i guess you want me to say sorry

sincerely speaking i believe you are a fool, you have basically lost that masculine instinct, the survival instinct of being a man, the believe that no matter what you can solve your problem without complain

what kind of man are you?

a man that takes the bull by the horn or a man who full of self pity

I'm not engulfed in self pity, I never do. I just want to fix my family.

@Michellekabod2

What I said is the truth, there is no woman-hating here. The guy was living in peace with his wife and willing to share even creating a joint account. Once the woman became better financially, did she support her husband? NO! Did she respect him? NO! Did she recognise that they are family unit and she ought to carry her husband along instead of sidelining him and going to the family members? NO! Was it necessary to turn the children against him? NO! It just goes to sure how cold a woman can be. She never carried the husband along; started opening account in secret and purchasing properties in secret; never involving the man in anything instead she sidelined him and went to family members behind his back. She is treating him like, in funmisticqueen's word, an appendix.

The sacrifices and love a man puts into his relationship when he is the breadwinner can't be reciprocated, in anyway, when a woman is the breadwinner. A man can be liberal with his time and money when he is the bread winner, but a woman can never be liberal with her money once she becomes the breadwinner and her husband hits hard times. In such situation, any money given to the husband no matter how little must be paid back and if he delays, nagging and fighting results. Even during an argument, the wife will bring up the fact that he is broke and she is the one providing even if it is unrelated to the argument. This is the nature of women. To give out their cash to sacrifice for the husband is living sucking the life force out of them and the husband, to them, is to be the work horse providing generously for everyone even if she can't reciprocate.

Cc. Strungup79

strungup79:


I'm not engulfed in self pity, I never do. I just want to fix my family.

Don't mind the heartless women here. Ignore them. They are just like your wife.