₦airaland Forum

strungup79:
You are just like my wife. If marriage is about control, why marry? Why not stay on your own? Making money is not about hustling, if it was i'd be earning over three times what my wife earns. Luck, favour also plays a role. Maybe God just wants to show me who I married.

Ask yourself the same question.
Traditional marriage is all about control.
That is where the "head" idea comes from.
Your wife is likely on a revenge mission for what you did to her while in charge.
Go and apologize or separate quickly for your own good.

funmisticqueen:
cheers!! Where have you been?

Been hustling so that i no go give woman my pant

philip0906:
Chai...I imagine you typing this with tears and gnashing your teeth

Don't worry, 2020 will be a better year. It's totally understandable that when love disappoints you, you tend to give up on it and become bitter (like you've done all year 2019).

You'll find love 2020 and you will understand that there is more to life than been a man hater...Prick sweet (ask all your popular feminists).

love didn't disappoint me, people did. But yes, 2020 will be better

BRATISLAVA:
It's not a sweeping generalization. But most of the men on nairaland say women only contribute sex. That means that it's possible they only contribute money, and when there's no more money, they have no character. Resulting in "emasculation". The man may just be sensitive because he knows his source of power is gone. And he's been acting strangely towards the woman since he imagines her doing something to the children bringing about some of her actions. She can probably sense his mind towards her

If you say most men on NL not all men, then you've agreed you generalised.

RisenPhoenix:
Your mistake was permitting her to become the breadwinner. When you experienced a downturn, you should have adjusted your family's standards of living down to comfortable levels accordingly, instead of using her own money to maintain that standard. Because you couldn't relinquish the good life, you have effectively relinquished control over your home. No matter how little you make, adjust your expenses to stay within that income. Do not touch her money under any circumstances.

You nailed it. Never depend on a woman's money. Let it rather be that she is the one forcing you to accept her money.

sgtponzihater1:
Been hustling so that i no go give woman my pant

correct guy. We want you to keep wearing the pants, they are not feminine.

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

I truly felt your pain. Women are always two faced.
I wish you can use this opportunity of her being the breadwinner for now to learn trading carefully and with discipline. I bet she will be surprise to see you up there again in no time.

funmisticqueen:
I don't have a heart.

By the way, point out what is careless in my comment.

your comment is obviously careless

Blueelf:
God bless you.

If you're a feminist, you're a balanced one.

There's an ugly thing here that has been running around giving trash advice and talking down on any that corrects her

I'm not a feminist. I'm a realist.

RisenPhoenix:
Then you should have let her go not given in to her whims. You are the captain who sets the course for the household. If she cannot stay with you through thick and thin, she should find her own direction in life without you.

As for the land, she has a right to do what she wants with her own money.

It's not too late. Get a divorce, she's now a liability on your back. No man can function after he has been emasculated. Hustle hard, marry a more supportive wife, and try to keep in touch with your kids as much as possible.

The last thing you want to be in when you are in economic downturn is a toxic relationship that drags you further down; mentally and emotionally.

Good luck.

E over make sense

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

Wow!!!
Really?

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

No be idiot go mistakenly marry this one dey call am sweet heart?

maak400:
Sorry about your predicament sir, I can only imagine what you’re going through. That’s the nature of women who suddenly become richer than their husband, similar cases like yours abound everywhere. God did not create women to be the provider of the house, so anytime circumstances happen to make a woman the provider, they simply become proud and treat the husband like shit. Just keep praying and hoping that your business bounces back. Also, ensure that you still put your foot down as the head of your home no matter what attitude your wife is displaying.

in addition to this. Ignore her excesses and applying quietness. She wl be tormented. Human don't usually like to be ignored.

funmisticqueen:
correct guy. We want you to keep wearing the pants, they are not feminine.

Ur comments here so insensitive and cruel

This marriage thing can be confusing sometimes ehn. Can't your wife give (or loan) you like #2m to get your business moving again? I don't understand how and why couples allow money cause a division in the home. Even if she's too wicked or stingy to set you up, can't you get some loan from her and take charge of your home again? Or could it be that all you do with money fails? Or perhaps, she doesn't even have enough to lend with all the inflated ego?

If you have a rich or wealthy wife, you have no excuse to fail. As far as she's willing to give you an interest-free loan, she's done her best. You take the money, utilize it well and take charge! You can't continue to waste all she gives or sit down and do nothing, and expect her to respect you. She's human, not a stone!

[quote author=strungup79 post=85389072]I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.[/quote


well Y some are fortunate women many of them are unfortunate in terms of being too proud nd boastful when there husband is down

A woman must never know your account balance.. even the so called wives . See finish is the worst thing that can happen to any man. Your man don see you finish. Let her insult you the more just keep praying to your eleda and stay busy.. watch the table turn soon.

OP
U NEED TO LEAVE THAT HOUSE ASAP
IF U KEEP STAYING
E NO GO BAM IF U KEEP STAYING O
LEAVE ASAP
LEAVE LIKE SINCE YESTERDAY SO U CAN BE AT REST AND FIND UR FEET

Man jus give her some space and hustle harder till u bounce back but don't forget your kids always try to visit them..Women can be something else,the more you stay with her the more you will be pained its something dat s difficult to endure..

This is my only advice for you...

Martinez39:
Michellekabod2, Ubunja and Co. Was this not what we were discussing? Give a man power, money, and make him the bread winner, his family will benefit from him. Give a woman money, power, and make her the bread winner, her husband will see hell. OP needs to take the red-pill.

Even though the man is at home, his wife has turned turned the kids against him in the cruel and petty game of power dynamics. And many girls had the dishonesty to attack me when I created THIS TOPIC and they acted like parental alienation is not really a thing to worry about and the father should "just spend some time with the kid". Here is a man who is present in his home and yet the kid has turned against him (a case similar to that of emmaodet). Never underestimate the power of brain washing and the wickedness and brutal nature of women. Women are not fair players.

Indeed, Ilekokonit was right in THIS TOPIC OF HIS. Also the arguments and contributions made by ubunja and myself are valid. A family is supposed to work as a unit but the woman purchased properties without the man's knowledge, turned the kids against him, and disrespects him yet folks like funmisticqueen (whose personality is as ugly as she looks) turned this on the man insinuating that the man must have been cruel to his wife in the past. The op opened a joint account with his wife but now, the wife has gotten a secret account.

Any man that remains oblivious to female nature will suffer and get burnt.

With my short stay on this forum, I read a lot of ur comments. You're actually smart, no argument. But see this one you're threading, I mean this issue you're seeing so, is beyond what u see. There's apparent power play in every relationship, true- but most of you guys make things seem as if only the women folks contribute to the rot and decay of everything. Parental alienation you're talking about is just a figment of the imagination- I would'nt want to dwell on this.

But something you should know is that the current waves of feminism has Make women up their game and see men for what they really are. You control women as if we're slave only meant to eat men's poo. And when the same craps is fed to you, you start shouting emasculation.

internationalman:
worked like magic when i once used it on my shakara girlfriend....

and i made sure i used a profile picture more beautiful than my girl's own..

i lay the phone where she could have easy access to it and she did and read the chat i orchestrated thinking i didn't know she saw it as she refused to confront me with it..

i made sure to make it look like the girl was begging me to leave my girl to date her...but since i knew my girl was gonna view it, in the chat i reiterated how much i loved my girl and how i could never leave her for anyone...


my guy you need to see the love this girl was showing me afterwards en.

if you want to be successfull with ladies you have to beat them to their manipulative game

lol... a friend of mine once tried this and it worked, although short-term. It seems to give a man more value (in her eyes, since another wants him). But in this situation where money is the koko, i'll suggest the OP start making more bar.

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

Chief. I have been through this or worse before, and I know how it feels.

Women don't handle money well, and men dont handle lack well also, and these exactly are the problems.

What I did was to simply ignore my ladies antics. I took my eye off her wealth totally, till she could visibly see that I didnt care at all. I stopped having sex with her, stopped sleeping in the same room with her, and was never moody or despairing. She couldn't comes to terms with an unbothered broke man. I just kept pushing the little way I could. I wouldn't even eat a meal she made, but always made sure I sorted my self in other ways.

When she saw her money meant nothing to me, the scale left her eyes and she came round. I have not embraced her fully yet, because doing that will take me back to the beginning. I also daily seek for avenues to wealth, which are all around us, just waiting for us to recognize.

Cheers

Sterope:
This is what happens when everyone belives that the ability to provide and being the man should be the only defining factors in a relationship.

And they don't ever take corrections. Very obstinate egoistic set.

RisenPhoenix:
Your mistake was permitting her to become the breadwinner. When you experienced a downturn, you should have adjusted your family's standards of living down to comfortable levels accordingly, instead of using her own money to maintain that standard. Because you couldn't relinquish the good life, you have effectively relinquished control over your home. No matter how little you make, adjust your expenses to stay within that income. Do not touch her money under any circumstances.

not so easy. Fine not to touch her money, but to reduce standard of living is not easy because she wl be upgrading d living standard by buying expensive foodstuff come home. Wl u as husband stop her from buying such, no

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

Keep your sanity! Go to work, stay focused and make the best out of your life. Its only you that can pick yourself up. I will introduce the God factor to you because He is the only one that knows everything, sees everything and holds your future in His hands. He is close to you at those moment when you want to cry, when your acts of stupidity just to ensure peace in your home is thrown back at you. I can give you plenty examples my brother fa cause i have been there. But God is faithful and will surely come through for you.

hire an arsonist to set her shop on fire ,or better still eliminate her and go to jail if you are caught

LordKO:
If you're a Mech. Engr. with at least 2 years previous work experience in the petroleum industry, send me a PM immediately.

As for your wife and her recent attitude, it's obvious that you've been living with a frenemy all this while. Only few men are lucky, and can be lucky, to marry virtuous/submissive women. Since she's of the small-minded stock, you've to master the art of treating small-minded people and mete out same to her - if you aren't small-minded like her too.

My brother you touched my situation at hand. Some women are terrible when they begin to earn something. I believe it's the small-minded stock that is the bone of contention.
Don't ever pray to marry a small-minded woman, they kill faster than any deadlier diseases in the world.
They act so unreasonable

Sir! More wisdom for 2020

Acidosis:
This marriage thing can be confusing sometimes ehn. Can't your wife give (or loan) you like #2m to get your business moving again? I don't understand how and why couples allow money cause a division in the home. Even if she's too wicked or stingy to set you up, can't you get some loan from her and take charge of your home again? Or could it be that all you do with money fails? Or perhaps, she doesn't even have enough to lend with all the inflated ego?

If you have a rich or wealthy wife, you have no excuse to fail. As far as she's willing to give you an interest-free loan, she's done her best. You take the money, utilize it well and take charge! You can't continue to waste all she gives or sit down and do nothing, and expect her to respect you. She's human, not a stone!

patjane:
I won’t say anything till I hear from your wife.. sometimes we judge matters to suit us. Let’s not be too fast in passing judgment ..

and trust me you're never going to say anything because you're never going to hear from the wife.

LegendaryLover:
lol... a friend of mine once tried this and it worked, although short-term. It seems to give a man more value (in her eyes, since another wants him). But in this situation where money is the koko, i'll suggest the OP start making more bar.

you also need game otherwise another broke guy will teach your wife how the game is played

Preach!!

Jeweltz:
With my short stay on this forum, I read a lot of ur comments. You're actually smart, no argument. But see this one you're threading, I mean this issue you're seeing so, is beyond what u see. There's apparent power play in every relationship, true- but most of you guys make things seem as if only the women folks contribute to the rot and decay of everything. Parental alienation you're talking about is just a figment of the imagination- I would'nt want to dwell on this.

But something you should know is that the current waves of feminism has Make women up their game and see men for what they really are. You control women as if we're slave only meant to eat men's poo. And when the same craps is fed to you, you start shouting emasculation.