₦airaland Forum

allandutch:
I saw one of your threads that's about this..... I'll check it out.

Tallesty1:
You ignored all the guys that are giving you attention and you are complaining that someone is ignoring you??

How does it sound?

You have a favourite guy.

He is got a favourite girl.

So you would be happy if he leaves her and starts walking with you "slowly"?

If you want him that badly then why don't you just walk up to him and tell him your mind?

Abeg park well and free a brother.

msrita:
So I really like this guy , we're in the same faculty and level but different departments so we share the same lecture venue for all our lectures.

He's really cool and quiet and that's what I like most in a guy. I stare at him a lot though I try not to and I catch him staring at me sometimes too , sometimes we turn at d same time to stare at each other, the issue is he seems to be ignoring me, I mean he talks to almost every one I relate and associate with ,but he acts as though he doesn't see me , he'll walk up to where I'm standing with a group of friends and greet everyone there except me ,sometimes he passes too close for someone who doesn't like me , his body brushes mine lightly, well we've greeted a few times .

I get a lot of attention from guys in my class dunno if that's why he doesn't wanna get close or because the most wanted guy in my class is my best friend though people believe we are dating and I'm an easy person , it even shows on my face. But common I like this guy naturally and wanna be friends with him , I don't think further than that or maybe I do, and oh! He has a favorite girl in our venue , he walks mostly with only her ,u hardly even catch walking with guys its either only him or her. So what's your take on this people, please no harsh comments ,a sister is just sharing her feelings. Thanks.

ubunja:
it's a discussion. You don't have to be in attack mode.

Most women lose their virginity to broke players. That will show you that money and women is not as straightforward an issue as one would think.

holocron:
Breaking virginity takes much time, troubles, and patience and is not even enjoyable apart from the kicks of being the first. Only the broke has time for that. Afterwards the same disvirgined starts dishing it out in the hopes of getting money and privileges.

ubunja:
I wonder why being "broke" is such a fearful thing over there.

henryobinna:

There's a high level of 'money worship' going on in Nigeria presently, that's why even the scums of the society somehow have a say because they have money. Some times ill gotten wealth.

But No mind them because even broke people do broke shame others, so the guy you quoted might actually be a broke fella talking trash at the same time.

ubunja:
I wonder why being "broke" is such a fearful thing over there.

Ardar:
The op wrote this hoping to educate men about the benefits of been Chosen not realizing the he is indirectly teaching women the same.

Women who have their men wrapped around their fingers will see this thread and like it cuz it validates their beliefs

while girls like me who are still learning about men will use this info to my advantage

Talk about shooting your self in the foot

Thank you ubunja for opening my eyes more.

Duggedised12:
Was she my type? No. She was from the wrong tribe. And was too reserved for my liking.

she was never the op's type, wrong tribe plus she was too reserved for his liking, which clearly shows from the word go the op knew he didnt want her but since in his words "she was the easiest girl he has ever bleeped oh well he might as well plant his seed.

whatever is making your blood boil, oga nor be me cause am nor dey come online come dey transfer am for my body and just know that there is nothing new under the sun, whatever you are going through will surely pass, lol boiling blood ,hope it doesn't pass through your blood vessels to your brain cells tho ,good day to you too.

holocron:
Breaking virginity takes much time, troubles, and patience and is not even enjoyable apart from the kicks of being the first. Only the broke has time for that. Afterwards the same disvirgined starts dishing it out in the hopes of getting money and privileges.

Youngzedd:
Mr Ubunja


What will make a guy attracted to only his age mates and older ladies?

ubunja:
especially if it's a trend where you're especially attracted to older women, then that the outworking of unresolved mommy issues stemming from your childhood.

It's an innocent choice when it's a conscious decision you take based on some tangible plan, eg You see older women as cheap sex or you see older women as ATMs. Then that's a choice untainted by psychological issues.

Jeweltz:
How do u know if a man is genuinely interested in you solely and not just to drain you emotionally, financially and physically. I have sent two of your stories, you only seen to expose the female act of manipulation without regards to damages caused by men

ubunja:
especially if it's a trend where you're especially attracted to older women, then that the outworking of unresolved mommy issues stemming from your childhood.

It's an innocent choice when it's a conscious decision you take based on some tangible plan, eg You see older women as cheap sex or you see older women as ATMs. Then that's a choice untainted by psychological issues.

ubunja:
correct. I expose women because I write for men. But that's not to say men are perfect or that I hate women. It's just a decision I made.

How do you know if a man is genuinely interested in you solely? The old wisdom: If he gives without taking. Is he giving you money but without demanding sex in return.
Men show love through giving money. If he's giving money without demanding sex then he's giving from a pure heart. The only way you can make sure you are winning with men is to close your legs. Whatever happens, if he's not getting sex he's not winning.

And just as you must never give him sex you also never give a man money. No matter what. He has friends for that. If you give a man money YOU BECOME INVESTED IN HIM. which is a trap you have set for yourself.

So if a man is giving you money, and you're giving him NOTHING back, and he's okay, then his intentions are pure and you can relax. You cant control a man's heart directly, but you can control you vajayjay and your dollars. That's how you stay safe. Everything else works out on its own.

ubunja:
correct. I expose women because I write for men. But that's not to say men are perfect or that I hate women. It's just a decision I made.

How do you know if a man is genuinely interested in you solely? The old wisdom: If he gives without taking. Is he giving you money but without demanding sex in return.
Men show love through giving money. If he's giving money without demanding sex then he's giving from a pure heart. The only way you can make sure you are winning with men is to close your legs. Whatever happens, if he's not getting sex he's not winning.

And just as you must never give him sex you also never give a man money. No matter what. He has friends for that. If you give a man money YOU BECOME INVESTED IN HIM. which is a trap you have set for yourself.

So if a man is giving you money, and you're giving him NOTHING back, and he's okay, then his intentions are pure and you can relax. You cant control a man's heart directly, but you can control you vajayjay and your dollars. That's how you stay safe. Everything else works out on its own.

ubunja:
especially if it's a trend where you're especially attracted to older women, then that the outworking of unresolved mommy issues stemming from your childhood.

It's an innocent choice when it's a conscious decision you take based on some tangible plan, eg You see older women as cheap sex or you see older women as ATMs. Then that's a choice untainted by psychological issues.

Youngzedd:
None of the highlighted.

All these small girls be like mosquitoes. They can disturb for Africa. See eeh, handling these slay queens no be here.


Edited: I Just stumbled on this > https://www.today.com/health/men-confess-22-reasons-why-younger-guys-fall-older-women-t74731

Digmygold:
Youngzedd you are seeking advice from a bitter old loser Ubunja who has been divorced 4 times and has not a single child in his house. Turning every woman he meets into a single mother a d living a frusttated life of poverty, pain and regrets.

if that is what you want for yoyrself then keep listening to his crap.

ubunja:
How To Get A Girl To Put You On A Pedestal.

Sequel to:
https://www.nairaland.com/5251159/ubunjas-miseducation-choosing-girl

PROLOGUE.
You have seen it before in your hood. A pretty girl has all the men hitting on her and trying to impress her with money and things. She ignores them. Or plays them. Because she's got her eye on some insignificant nonentity of a Guy. As hard to get as the girl is for other men, this nobody of a Guy gets her attention easy. He makes her laugh easy. He impresses her easy. Much to the anger and confusion of all the other men who know they are better by far than the Guy.

Now, what does the Guy have that all the other men don't have that has cast a spell on the girl?

nothing.

The guy is simply chosen.

MOYO MUTI UNOMERA PAUNODA.
In the Zimbabwean Shona language we have a saying: "Moyo muti unomera paunoda" - The heart is like a tree that grows where it chooses.

We can't predict where a plant will grow. A plant will grow in the most favorable places like river banks and rain forests. But it will also grow in the least favorable places like deserts and cracks on a pavement and against all odds thrive.

Same with love.

Love is emotions and emotions are Unpredictable. Like the Unpredictable growth of plants.
Love flourishes in the most favorable places but it will also flourish in the least favorable places. "Moyo muti unomera paunoda" - The heart is like a tree that grows where it chooses. In other words, "The heart wants what the heart wants". And whom the heart wants is the Prize.

GET A GIRL TO RESPECT YOU.
So much has been said about how women no longer respect men. How women no longer submit and put men in their rightful place as the Head.

Women were born to follow. Men were born to lead. But, remember followers choose the leader. Not the other way round. We vote for our leaders. Our leaders don't vote for us.

It's the same with women and respect.

If your girl doesn't respect you there's precious little you can do to make her respect you. You played the game backwards. You were supposed to find a girl who respected you already then make her your girl. But instead you found a girl, made her your GF then tried to make her respect you. It doesn't work that way.

You don't make a girl respect you. That's impossible. Girls respect whoever they think is worthy of respect. What you do is You find a girl who respects you already and make her your girl. This way there's no struggle to earn anything because everything is already given. Just like how God loved us before we were born and there's nothing we did to earn His love. God loves us because He CHOSE us. That is true love. A girl must love you because she chose you. Not because you did anything to earn her love. Love must not be earned.

Same with respect.

If a girl already thinks you're respectable then you're a thousand steps ahead of every other guy trying to earn her respect because in love NOTHING must be earned.

Men do many things backwards... A man will meet a Scantily Dressed girl, fall in love then try to make her wear long dresses. It won't work. She'll tell you it was the miniskirts and minidresses that made you love her, why must she now change. What you must do is find a decently dressed girl if you want a decently dressed wife. Anyways, it will be far easier to make a decent girl dress sexy than to make a ho dress decently. You can't turn a ho into a housewife but you can turn a housewife into a ho. Remember every girl is looking for a guy she can be bad for.

MY STORY.
I found my babymama a virgin at about 23.

She was strict and many guys had tried their luck with her and failed. But when she met me she practically handed herself to me. Winning her heart was so effortless. And she's still the easiest girl I ever fvcked. And I fvcked her so much that within months she gave me a baby.

One day a friend visited us and was shocked to see my GF kneel down to serve me food. (God is my Witness) When we were alone my friend said I must be hitting my GF that's why she served me food kneeling. I was offended. Because I never asked anyone to kneel for me. And I explained this to him but I could see he was not convinced.

Two years after breaking up I met my babymama and I wanted to check something on her phone but there was a password (she never used to put passwords). I asked for the password and she replied "it's your name". I didn't believe it but typed it anyways. And the phone unlocked!!!. I was surprised.

A few months ago this year, I went to see her because I missed my daughter and she (my babymama) said, "Whatever you're doing, when you get tired of it, I will be waiting for you". I didn't reply. Then she told me our daughter was grown and she needed a brother. Guess what? I will give her another baby soonest!

We have an inside joke where I tell her she can't move on cause I cast a spell on her. She laughs hard at it.

Why am I telling you all this??

I'm telling you this Because I did NOTHING to get this girl to fall so deep in love with me. I didn't campaign. I didn't spend a cent. I didn't buy her anything. Not even. What happened is one simple thing that was beyond even my control: I FITTED THE DESCRIPTION OF THE TYPE OF GUY SHE WANTED. Simple.

Whatever this girl saw in me she liked it. I didn't put any effort to make her like me. She just liked me. I was her type. Was she my type? No. She was from the wrong tribe. And was too reserved for my liking. BUT I WAS HER TYPE. That was what mattered. And I ran with that. I didn't even know she was a virgin. She kept it a secret until the moment I took out my dick.

The moral of the story is this:
If a girl loves you first you are the Prize. If a woman likes you first you are the Trophy. And there's very little you can do wrong in her eyes. She'll always excuse your behavior. Someone who likes you without you doing anything to impress them, is someone who'll find it hard to stop liking you when you do something to disappoint them. If your actions didn't create the love, your actions can't destroy the love. Because it's never about your actions, but about YOU.

UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT MEANS TO BE THE PRIZE OR TROPHY.
Any guy can be the Prize or the Trophy to a girl. But there's a very particular way of going about it. You have to play the game right.

There are three things that make a trophy a trophy:

1. A Trophy Is Perfect As Is.

This is the most important thing. The less you do yet the more you impress a girl, a girl you impress the most by doing the least to the point that you impress her TOTALLY by doing TOTALLY NOTHING is the girl with whom you have a realistic chance of being the Prize.

The only girl you should give a chance
is that girl so breathtaken, so infatuated with you that she thinks you are the Prize, for simply breathing. And nothing more. The way a trophy is seen perfect AS IS. So also a girl must see you perfect AS IS. That way there's no spending, pretending, lying and campaigning to earn her affection.

In love NOTHING must be earned.

2. A Trophy Doesn't Choose Who Wins It.

Take for example a football trophy. It doesn't choose what quality of teams get to compete for it. Or what quality of team will take it home. The only way the trophy can get itself won by a decent level team is to be a trophy of a decent football league.
A minor league trophy will be won by minor league teams unless it becomes a major league trophy then it will be won by a major league team.

As a trophy you attract your level. If you don't like the level of women you're attracting then improve and elevate to a higher level. Then higher level women you'll attract.

3. A Trophy Loves No One.

A trophy or a prize may be dreamed of and fantasized about by many, but itself it fantasizes and dreams of no one. A trophy doesn't compete for anyone. It is competed for. A trophy doesn't love anyone. It is loved.

In love, the one who loves less is the trophy.

In all my dealings with women, the breakups that have hurt the most and made me cry the longest were with those women I myself chose, pursued and won. I was too invested. I begged the most and accommodated the greatest. I was the trophy holder. And when the trophy left - as all trophies do when a better competitor appears - I was left devastated.

Look back at all your Exes and you'll see a pattern: The girls you were hurt the most to breakup with were the ones you chased and pursued the hardest. While the girls who brought themselves to you, it was easy not only to get them but also to breakup with them, because YOU were the prize.

UNDERSTAND YOU ARE THE PREY.
The greatest reason guys don't become trophies is guys have made themselves the Hunters.

A hunter can never be a trophy.

Do you know something called Trophy Hunting? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trophy_hunting) It is the hunting of animals for sport . And the ANIMALS that are hunted and shot are the trophies. Not the hunters. The Prey is the Trophy.

The Lion is king of the Jungle but who hunts? The Female lion. The hunter is not the King. The hunter is the chaser and the chaser has no value.

WHO'S THE TROPHY?
It's always easy to see who's the trophy and who's the hunter in any couple.

Who is more "needy"? On the streets, In photos who is always grabbing the other? Who always has their hand or arm around the other person? That's the hunter. The hunter has no value.

Look at any pictures of rich men or male celebs and stars and you'll see the WOMAN is always the one grabbing the man. Because the woman is the hunter and the man is the trophy.

Whereas pictures of ordinary couples have the MAN grabbing the woman, because the man is the hunter and the woman is the trophy.

WOMEN ARE THE PREDATORS.
The easiest way to get that girl who will worship and put you on a pedestal is for you to understand Women are the Hunters. Not men.

Girls are the Predators and boys are the Prey. God brought Eve to Adam. Eve was the hunter. Adam the prey.

Also Women have the pussy and the Womb. Lovemaking and babymaking are their jurisdiction. Weak as they are it is they who ultimately decide who gets to have sex and who gets to be born.

As a man understand and allow for that.

THE PREY IS THE PRIZE.
Seek and you shall find. And that which you'll find is the Prize. Not you. You are not the Prize. People go looking for treasure. Treasure doesn't go looking for people. We compete for a trophy, the trophy doesn't compete for us.

Whatever you seek/search for/look for, is the Prize. Whether that's a job, a place, an item or a person. It's the Prize. It's more important than you. And you can lose it to a better person than you.

Once you search, once you hunt, once you seek, the other person becomes the Prey. And the Prey is the Prize.

Remember the Prey can live without the Predator but the Predator needs the Prey to survive. The lion needs the gazelle and the kudus or it perishes. The gazelle and the kudus just need grass. So what's valuable? The prey or the predator? The Prey. The Prey is the Prize.

LET GIRLS CHOOSE.
We all have a "type". Or a "kind". Of a person who always catches our eye. We know what turns us on when we see it. That image of what turns us on is what we fantasize about and even masturbate to. Especially women. Women daydream a lot about love.

As a man, your security and longevity with a girl depends on how closely you fit the "type" and kind" of the guy she fantasizes about. The closer you align to her desire, the nearer you are to what she daydreams about, the smoother things will be for you because the more satisfied she'll be with you and the less inclined she'll be to cheat.

But you can't read minds and you don't know what a girl's fantasy is. You can't read hearts and you've no clue as to her desire. So how do you achieve the impossible and match a girl's fantasy and desire?

It's simple: YOU WAIT TO BE CHOSEN.

Wait for the girl whose fantasy matches what you are. Wait for the woman who desires a man like you. Wait for her to choose you. This way you are chosen AS YOU ARE. Without any need to do anything to impress anyone.

VIDEO.
The Pastor in the video below knows and understands the game. He knows women must choose. Watch and see how things must be done. See how much easier it is for men when women do the choosing:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbuquJHtTuY

That's how things must be done.

The attention and affection of a woman must never be earned, bought, paid for, fought for or struggled for. It must come freely WITHOUT you doing anything but breathing.

VIDEO ANALYSIS.
Now, on the video above, WHO IS THE PRIZE? The women who did the choosing or the men who waited to be chosen? Its the men of course. The men are the Prize because they are the women's fantasy. By choosing, the women got their fantasy. But by choosing they lost their power. The women lost their power because they are the ones who are in love. Not the men.

When you love someone, that person automatically has power over you. Because when you love someone you can lie, steal, pay, toil, slave, kill or kill yourself for that person. That's the power they hold over you.

In love, you are either the Hunter who identifies, pursues and acquires your Fantasy, or you're the Fantasy identified, pursued and acquired by the Hunter. The Hunter chases and possesses the fantasy ("she's the girl of my dreams and I finally won her heart" / "he's the guy of my dreams and I finally won his heart" ). But the Hunter who gets the fantasy has LESS power because he/she is the one infatuated, in lust and in love. Not the fantasy.

The fantasy, the person you call your dream guy or dream girl, while you can't live without them, they can live without you because you are not their dream anything.

The guys in the video above, they have more power because they are chosen. The women have less power because they chose. In quarrels the women will always be reminded, "You chose me. I didn't choose you!" - The most disempowering words you can say to anyone.
But the power each man holds over his woman comes at a cost to the man: By being someone else's fantasy you deny yourself your own fantasy. Each side of the equation has its good and bad.

THE CHOSEN IS THE PRIZE.
You have power over anyone to whom you're a fantasy. And you can only be a fantasy if you're chosen.

But how do you know a woman is choosing you? Green Lights of course. No Green lights no approach.

#TheRedPill
#MGTOW

ubunja:
They won't easily dump you. Isn't one of the biggest reasons guys avoid sex with virgins that virgins tend to over-attach to you after sleeping with them?

Its more difficult taking a girl's virginity than having sex with her. Ask any girl and they're more likely to have lost their virginity to a Player /Bad Boy than to a good guy. It's a trend. It's a pattern.
Only a few girls have lost their virginity to men with money namely because girls lose their virginity out of blind teenage love not out of money or profit. And by nature any girl will drift towards the Player. Its something hardcoded into the female psyche.

And girls don't just lose their virginity to anyone available. Because good guys will decline taking a girl's virginity without marrying her. And some are squeamish and hate the sight of blood. Either way, the bad boy ends up being the one chosen. Also because the Bad Boy/Player appears to be more experienced sexually to girls than the good guy who usually has the moneys anyways. Girls want to lose their virginity to someone with experience who knows what he's doing.

Its very important to note who takes a girl's virginity cause that guy or his type will always be her weakness going forward.

Women only chase money after chasing love has failed. And because women chase players first their quest for love is always doomed to failure. By the time they give good guys a chance they're in gold digger mode and don't give a fvck about love and their heart is for sale to the highest bidder.

razible5384:
why are ur articles not always on the front page?

razible5384:
why are ur articles not always on the front page?

Omar09:
It's because of Gynocentrism. His articles will liberate men and women will go broke. That's why.