InfernoNig:
First talk to God and apologies for your mistakes. Then Go talk to someone elderly, who knows both of you very well, one thing is for sure, you will lose a good girl, better to have a clear conscience and free mind, than living in lies and deceit.


As for the so called future baby Mama, talk to her in a more sorted ground, apologize for your reaction towards the whole issue, that any decision she takes, you are OK with it. I bet you she will reconsider her decision (manipulative mind). Less action, more common ground.

Peace

Good, hope he takes it

its too early to start commenting on puna matters by January..bros na 2020 be this

Am not being judgmental here but its clear you aren't ready for marriage here. That's the only reason you find yourself in this mess. And from all you 've typed, you are clearly just trying to wash your hand and see how you can get away with it, silence the Lola girl and keep your girl in the dark, that's far from taking personal responsibility. If you had gotten married to your girl, you likely would have done same thing albeit in a different setting. What is done is already done, give it time to play out, take responsibility for it if it comes to that, enjoy your life and once everything is out of your system, you will know it's time to get married. Apologize profusely to your girl and let her go about her life. Chances are if you force this marriage thing, it might lead to a lifetime of resentment for both of you especially if she happens to not be able to have kids or unable to have the sex of a kids that you desire and the other girl happens to have just that.

Aarenasbaba:
What I learnt from ur story is that I should always keep my condom in tact. I have one girl I have been eyeing in our area. Omo yen set mehn

Double it o... To avoid wear and tear

My brother av you tot of this, what if in the course of terminating the pregnancy the Lola of a girl with the unborn baby died....yes the mistake has happened, just beg ur legit girl and ask for forgiveness, give her some time to think about it, and also pray for the lady you got pregnant have successful delivery, but mind you if you av the money do DNA test after delivery of the baby.... Let's learn from his mistake but this can happen to anybody cos we too are not saint... Take it easy bro...

She isn't pregnant at all... They just wan chop op money. Even the Canada call na sakamanje

Hmmmmm! Dicey situation.
Tell her now and deal with the repercussions. If she stays fine, if she doesn't your love story ends. But it's better to deal with it now than in the future.

the starboy himself . " i met a girl ( VERY FINE GIRL ) " _ this here shows you got entangled in a web that has trapped many men , and even if this blows over you will still cheat with another random fine sex goddess in future , simple as . i'll advice you go with your dad's younger brother or pastor ( respectable father in- law should never go ) to , first open up to your fiancee's dad in deep remorse and humility who will then bring his daughter in , to pacify her in what should be a meeting of five to include the mom after baba must have first spoken with his daughter . remember the danger of telling her first since she hinted grave concequences when you laid the scenario of what played out hypothetically to her ! which brings me to one more thing , can your sweetheart swear she has never cheated on you since you were together ? if you sincerely think she can swear with all she holds dear that she has been faithfull to you , then my brother , if such a lady swore death for betrayal then i'm afraid you have to be worried . sure this won't happen again OP ? you wouldn't want to turn a good girl to a sycho b!@#h would you ?

Jeffmonti:
About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!

This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.

So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)

Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend.

The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex

So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.

So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.

One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.

So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).

So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.

Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.

So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.

I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of uexs will die. Omo fear catch me.

Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko.

sorry dear.
I can only advice you to dissolve the relationship with your girl friend and move on with your life. Sit her down and tell her everything if she feels she cannot take it let her go. The beautiful ones are not yet born.

You just have to let your girlfriend know. One way or another find a better time and place to tell her. If you guys weren’t so fast with the marriage thing I’d say you tell her when the baby drops. Just be like “Baby, a have a child somewhere” She will be furious but if she loves you she’ll definitely stay.
Definition of men are scum... hehehe... it’s well bro

IcraveLove:


You don't even sound remorseful for what you have done. So I will say it's good this happened, you would have cheated later on. Better she finds someone else that respect and love her.
How can you say you are planning to get married and you are cheating?
I caste and bind men like you from coming my way IJN amen.

Aunty keep quiet. Na una do am pass.

Modified: just checked ur profile.
From Edo state . We all know the story of Edo girl(fine girls but their Runs tooooooo much ).. our Italian babes(representing Naija in Italy)


Better no the form saint theresa for here o..


And as for the OP, u fvck up shaa. But the Lord is ur strength

Had it been you didn't commit yourself by giving her 100k I woud have suggest you deny the preg pata- pata.
Hmm but now you are on a long thing. Be ready for the worst as you may loose ur babe in the mean time pls look for someone in your would be in law side that you can relate with. Pls don't tell your babe first. From there you will know the next step.
The preg babe shey she know ur work place ? If no pls consider relocation
That NDA you signed pls hold it well for it will be of little use later in life (magistrate)


Advise to guys...once you are on yje right path doing well in biz or carrer b careful of free pupuss they may ruin u.

Jeffmonti:


I told my girlfriend i want to move out, she nor gree o. She said she like the place and we will stay there until i complete my building which is still at the very early stages.

You are not married yet. It's still your call where you choose to live. After marriage you won't have that sole control. Staying in the neighbourhood would be bad for you and fiancee when you marry.

The mistake has been made, be a man. Face it head on. Let her have the baby and do a paternity test. Your baby mama doesn't have to know when you are doing it. A swab each of the inside cheek of baby and your cheek is enough. To avoid drama.

The best thing is let your fiancee know what happened. She'll be disappointed but if she's meant to be yours, she'll stay. If she leaves, move on. Learn your lesson. Another lady will come your way and hopefully you will be more "mature".

Na wa o, you were just tidying a girl that has a steady boyfriend. You sef bad o. Fact is people are fucking left, right and centre. Single, engaged, married or whatever.

Are you sure las las she won't deceive her steady boyfriend with that her pregnancy? I'm sure the boyfriend will also be describing the girl you impregnated as "his good girlfriend". Chai, inside life.

IyaTola:
Some guys can talk to any girl in this world but still fail at an interview!!!

Did your confidence disappear?

Elbone2:
Bro I was in a Similar scenario with a girl in my neighborhood,She was bent on keeping the pregnancy eventually She removed it and is now a serious born again...If I tell u wetin I do and the secret u fit do am?

Abeg wetin be the secret and wetin you do?... Na learn we come here to learn from pros like una.

luminouz:



Bla bla bla


Shût dafuq UP!!!

this is not the garrison general ! later una go follow dem say no freedom of speech in north korea . you're talking street sense , he is being spiritual , why the profanity ? is he/she exposing something you're trying to hide from the OP ? what light are you beaming into the young man's life LUMINOUS ?
or should i say (IL)luminati .

See pictures of 43 years old Ageless mother of 3 with a drop-dead gorgeous body of a 16-year-old.
http:///s42453cb200125en_ng

well your stories is logical i believe the gal find some potential in you that she didn't see in her man that is why she want to play the game with your heart,i believe that what she is doing is to play game with your innocence, she knew that your still naive into the game that is why she is playing with your heart.
There are 50 50 chances that your not the real owner of that pregnant if she is really pregnant, i said that because i know women are very trickish and smart when it come to relationship, most especially a lady at her age{Desperate chic}

That pregnant might belong to her man but she want to try her luck with you which mean she will make it looks like ur the owner of that pregnant which means if u fail to accept it by marrying her or fathering the child, she will use it to collect money from u because she kn both of you are close and your capable and innocence to manipulate that is why she bring her friends instead of her parents, at the first place why not bring her parents why her friends? all what she is doing na job.
If you want to know the truth about the pregnant, take her to your doctor to exam her if she is pregnant truly, dont just believe on the result she show you, a doctor can give her that result and she will use that to wipe you bro, a 27 old gal cant make such mistake if she is not up to something.

2nd advice bro after confirming from your doctor before letting your gal know try and meet with her ppl with someone close to your family,have a meeting with hers so that their will be no secrecy into this because she might still use the same pregnant to scam someone else but if u try to make everything open her job will knock and she will not like such to happen, she is desperate and ready to do everything to hoodwink an innocent soul.
so during the meeting dont accept the responsibility of the pregnant until she deliver the child and both of you go and confirmed biological father of the child through DNA after narrating all these process you want to go with her she will open up and let you know the truth of the claimed pregnant because she puts u in the dark to wipe u that is why she use someone uptown to call you after collecting the agreed money fear desperate women bro.

After your conclusion with the gal and their family before you can now let the cat out to your gal so she will kn where you stand to avoid loosing both coz of slit mistake thanks me later after this

Foodqueen:
The truth is that, that lady isn't pregnant. It's a plan with her friends to scam you, and you have already fall to their scam.

My advice:
Tell her you want to follow her to the hospital for confirmation
Tell her you want a DNA
Tell her you want to see her mother.

This was actually my initial thought; there's a fair probability the side chick isnt truly pregnant. I have a friend who went through a similar situation, the side chick actually barged in on him and his fiancee with the breaking news of pregnancy. Local man was seriously devastated, his fiancee was of course even more devastated and she moved out of his house. But at the end, it turned out to be 'audio' pregnancy.

The side chick in this case may have been trying to use the pregnancy to get his attention. But when he totally washed his hands off of her and the baby, she left disappointed. Only for her to return a month later following cunning advice from her sister to come scam some money out of him. N100k now paid, it's likely she will return a month later again to squeeze out some more money from the guy.

@Jeffmonti, all hope isn't yet lost. Now is time for you to pray to God for a miracle. Your fiancee has to know the truth; she will probably leave when she knows, but might forgive and take back your sorry ass if the pregnacy turns out not to be real, or if it's eventually not actually yours (remember Lola also bleeps her BF).

Where is the proof that you are the father? Lola also has a boyfriend she’s fucking... same with you. But you are a big bastard ooo! Lola is having sex with you and another guy and God knows who else unprotected. You carry that dirty dick to have unprotected sex with your own girlfriend too. Kai! God punish you! I pity the so called girlfriend because you don’t have sense at all. She’s better off dumping you. In that marriage you will definitely bring HIV.

First thing is to go and do DNA test with her pregnancy.
Yeah, you can do DNA test of a child still in her mothers womb.

The pregnancy might not yours.

Well, ma niggi, this is the 21st century, you made a mistake and that's cool but there's still a chance that your side chick's baby might not be yours.. Moreover, it's better for you to actually tell your fiancée the truth. It's better for her to know than for her to learn of it from somebody else.

Tell her the truth, if she loves you she will marry you and if she refuse to go ahead with the wedding,oga move on..it's better to kill the case right now than to keeping the secret that you know it will eventually unfold one Day.

This your story is so freaking similar to mine.
Only the thing never enter.... Omo mk I take dressing o

You said she has a boyfriend,yes?
What makes you think you are the one responsible for the pregnancy?Did you see the pregnancy test results? What makes you think you are the only one having sex with her?
You have an NDA.Forget about her.Marry your responsible fiance.If she comes with child later,go insist on a DNA test.Be careful henceforth bro.

IcraveLove:


You don't even sound remorseful for what you have done. So I will say it's good this happened, you would have cheated later on. Better she finds someone else that respect and love her.
How can you say you are planning to get married and you are cheating?
I caste and bind men like you from coming my way IJN amen.

Typical.Ladies cheat same way as guys,if not worse.You didn't read the part he said the side chick has a bf? What makes you think his gf doesn't have a guy by the side?
From my experience most girls have.

Op, is so painful what happened, just take it cos you can't undo it. The mistake you made was not seeking advice before it got to this. When u sex a lady 5 to 6 times, just believe the 7th one is beckoning unwanted pregnancy cos you won't care to taste it row.
The mistake you did was sending her the money and not following her to the hospital when you knew the amount she demanded for initially was to high, you should know she wants to take the money to take care of herself not for the purpose you sent it for.
My advice: never hide this for your girl (the truth might make or mare you) and NEVER try consider marrying Lola, she will CHEAT again and again. Prepare you mind for break up cos girls like urs never cheat and feel robbed when you do same.
I learnt this from an uncle: Blessed are those who do not expect, because they will never be disappointed. Your girl MIGHT forgive you (some may give her reasons to forgive you, for telling her the truth), but it will take years and patient to build the trust you just destroyed.
Finally, thank God this happened now, cos you would've done this in your marriage and that might cost you your home. Learn from your mistake bro... The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, this won't have happened if you fear Him.

Jeffmonti:
About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!

This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.

So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)

Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend.

The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex

So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.

So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.

One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.

So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).

So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.

Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.

So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.

I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.

Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko.

Let her go ahead and have the child. You acted stupidly by engaging a lady in your proposed marital apartment. Keep your ring and confess how you ended your marriage before it started.

You be mumu oooo.....you say she has a boyfriend, why you go gree that the child is yours. You for focus on your Relationship. You are not the only person fucking her. Na small pikin dey worry you.

I pray God see you through and grant you the wisdom to handle this and get it settled peacefully

Bro I once fell into same scenero, be a man. Talk to your parents first about it, they will handle it properly. You have err as human, let your parents be the one to handle the matter and plead with your girl. But please don,t abandon your baby, you will be happy you kept him or her. My boy is my joy and everything, I was just wondering if he was aborted. If your girl does not want to go ahead with the marriage after your parents pleads with her, then you let go. Every child has a destiny, also locate the desperate lady and see her family too with your parents and let them know you are not marrying there daughter but will take care of your baby, when he comes. The 100k you gave her will do for now , until she wants to give birth. Goodluck, abeg free bleeping for now.