₦airaland Forum

Hey Y'all

I dont even know where to start from but I think or I feel like this situation I'm about to explain is a really big issue, well what made it more clear to me so was my mom's reply to the situation at hand.

Instead of beating around the bush, I'd simply go forward to my tale.

I have this really big, weird fear and problem with making friends amongst my female counterparts. I can barely hold a conversation with a female I just met or I know without feeling uncomfortable. I dont have problems with guys because I can be comfortable with discussing things with them but when it comes to girls or ladies like I am, it becomes a problem.

I thought it was a childhood psychological thing but I am surrounded by female siblings however, I'm currently in university at my final year and it is something that constantly bugs me. I can only boast of one female friend that could come through for me in time of need(not often though).

Take for instance, I recently got accommodation issues and I needed a friend I could stay with for the meantime before I could sort things out. Well, the whole thing became more glaring because I barely had a female friend I could call to crash at. Worse was when my mom scolded me on my relationships with people and my character.

Honestly, I'm tired about the whole thing. I feel like on my wedding day, I wouldn't even have a bridal train except if my sisters choose to fill in. I have tried countless times to work this part of me out but I keep on ending back at square one.

If there's anyone that has been in my case before and has successfully conquered please let me know. Other ideas and corrections are highly welcome.

Mods please push further. Thanks.

Try make more female frnds and be free with them

Stop comparing yourself with other people.

You don't have to know females personally before you find someone to to host you in school.

Either you rent a place or ask around for someone who needs a roommate. Nothing exclusive about it.

Perhaps it's even a male nler typing that sef.

Or just look for female friends.

Mods please push further. Thanks.

Why?

JasonScoolari:
"Tolerance"




Just have it.

Many Nigerian women find that challenging.

nlPoster:
Stop comparing yourself with other people.

You don't have to know females personally before you find someone to to host you in school.

Either you rent a place or ask around for someone who needs a roommate. Nothing exclusive about it.

Perhaps it's even a male nler typing that sef.

It's not even about the hosting thing. It's something that has been up for the longest time. I'm only worried about it. I guess you're a guy but let's assume that you dont have any male friends, or you probably just have one and the rest are females and you keep on having problems making or being close to your male counterparts. How would you take it or what would you do?

JasonScoolari:
"Tolerance"




Just have it.

I'm actually very tolerant in nature, and a friend has reprimanded me severally about being so. Something like people like this easily get played with or "rided"

GeoSilYe:
It's not even about the hosting thing. It's something that has been up for the longest time. I'm only worried about it. I guess you're a guy but let's assume that you dont have any male friends, or you probably just have one and the rest are females and you keep on having problems making or being close to your male counterparts. How would you take it or what would you do?

Articulate your exact fear with relating with your fellow women.

Are you perhaps gay? Is the fear borne from a fear of rejection?

Is there a particular situation in your past that acted as a seed for your current tendencies with your fellow females?
Were there a bunch of girls who used your information against you or you were not worthy enough to join their click?

Or is it really just because you are actually a bullshit person and so its only guys that tolerate you?
Guys are generally more accomodating of shitty female personalities than other females who simply don't have your time.

Have you objectively asked yourself some salient questions? First, we know females can come with a truckload of attitude and pettiness sometimes. Does that perhaps scare you away from initiating bonds or from letting a friendship form?

Do you have insecurities that make you want to stay away from people... you feel you won't be accommodated?

PrimadonnaO:
Have you objectively asked yourself some salient questions? First, we know females can come with a truckload of attitude and pettiness sometimes . Does that perhaps scare you away from initiating bonds or from letting a friendship form?

Do you have insecurities that make you want to stay away from people... you feel you won't be accommodated?

exactly! Mature questions.

You really do not have any problem my dear OP

Cc: GeoSilYe
Don't beat yourself up too much. I'm very much like you. I unconsciously avoid women, except those whom i can relate with on a cool level. And i'm more comfortable with guys also.
I've had some bad experiences with female friends during my childhood. Apart from that, i dislike their pettyness. Few women are not superficially. Majority prefer to either gossip or beef themselves. I kind of fear that. Rejection from friends of my own gender or getting involved in something i'm way bigger than.
Plus i'm a tomboy. If you are too then there isn't much you can change. I've learnt to tolerate alot. And to be patient with others.
First thing you should do is discover you. Know why you are afraid of being friends with a female. That way it would be easier to tackle the problem.

GeoSilYe:
It's not even about the hosting thing. It's something that has been up for the longest time. I'm only worried about it. I guess you're a guy but let's assume that you dont have any male friends, or you probably just have one and the rest are females and you keep on having problems making or being close to your male counterparts. How would you take it or what would you do?

I'd say stop comparing yourself to others.

Besides, what you described is mostly a female problem because guys find it easier to relate with themselves than females do.

If it bothers you too much then find female friends and overlook any behaviour you consider annoying. Tolerate them.

"To have a friend, be a friend."

2buffagain:
Articulate your exact fear with relating with your fellow women.

Are you perhaps gay? Is the fear borne from a fear of rejection?

Is there a particular situation in your past that acted as a seed for your current tendencies with your fellow females?
Were there a bunch of girls who used your information against you or you were not worthy enough to join their click?

Or is it really just because you are actually a bullshit person and so its only guys that tolerate you?
Guys are generally more accomodating of shitty female personalities than other females who simply don't have your time.

Well, when I was younger, a female did use my information(a diary actually) against me. Actually, poured out my secrets to the whole class(you know those silly crushes we used to have in childhood) and since then, it's been weird I think.

I would have said I'm a bullshit person and so only guys tolerate me but it doesnt seem so because I have asked and also, I haven't even been involved in one solid female friendship that would bring out that conclusion.

Blu03:
Cc: GeoSilYe
Don't beat yourself up too much. I'm very much like you. I unconsciously avoid women, except those whom i can relate with on a cool level. And i'm more comfortable with guys also.
I've had some bad experiences with female friends during my childhood. Apart from that, i dislike their pettyness. Few women are not superficially. Majority prefer to either gossip or beef themselves. I kind of fear that. Rejection from friends of my own gender or getting involved in something i'm way bigger than.
Plus i'm a tomboy. If you are too then there isn't much you can change. I've learnt to tolerate alot. And to be patient with others.
First thing you should do is discover you. Know why you are afraid of being friends with a female. That way it would be easier to tackle the problem.

Thank you.

GeoSilYe:
Well, when I was younger, a female did use my information(a diary actually) against me. Actually, poured out my secrets to the whole class(you know those silly crushes we used to have in childhood) and since then, it's been weird I think.

I would have said I'm a bullshit person and so only guys tolerate me but it doesnt seem so because I have asked and also, I haven't even been involved in one solid female friendship that would bring out that conclusion.

Yeah it seems what that girl did really hit you hard.
Girls are meaner than guys generally. And like to gossip so they would generally broadcast your issue if you share it with them.

It's not a problem that you only prefer guy friends.
Only thing is it could become a problem with your future hubby if na so so guy you dey hang out with.

You're older now so forgive the "girls" back then and make friends with women now.

GeoSilYe:
Hey Y'all

I dont even know where to start from but I think or I feel like this situation I'm about to explain is a really big issue, well what made it more clear to me so was my mom's reply to the situation at hand.

Instead of beating around the bush, I'd simply go forward to my tale.

I have this really big, weird fear and problem with making friends amongst my female counterparts. I can barely hold a conversation with a female I just met or I know without feeling uncomfortable. I dont have problems with guys because I can be comfortable with discussing things with them but when it comes to girls or ladies like I am, it becomes a problem.

I thought it was a childhood psychological thing but I am surrounded by female siblings however, I'm currently in university at my final year and it is something that constantly bugs me. I can only boast of one female friend that could come through for me in time of need(not often though).

Take for instance, I recently got accommodation issues and I needed a friend I could stay with for the meantime before I could sort things out. Well, the whole thing became more glaring because I barely had a female friend I could call to crash at. Worse was when my mom scolded me on my relationships with people and my character.

Honestly, I'm tired about the whole thing. I feel like on my wedding day, I wouldn't even have a bridal train except if my sisters choose to fill in. I have tried countless times to work this part of me out but I keep on ending back at square one.

If there's anyone that has been in my case before and has successfully conquered please let me know. Other ideas and corrections are highly welcome.

Mods please push further. Thanks.

.

I use to be in d same shoes with you bro
I think it's because you worry too much or
Give a bleep about them judging cause u feel
Like u have got weird act of not socializing
Properly with them ,let it go ,try to feel
Free anytime you with any female like
You own her seize the moment bro and Don't
Give a bleep bout what any mofo has to say
Or do just be you and do you ,lastly free your
Mind

One step at a time

so many things in life we all should be happy for our mental health

Blu03:
Cc: GeoSilYe
Don't beat yourself up too much. I'm very much like you. I unconsciously avoid women, except those whom i can relate with on a cool level. And i'm more comfortable with guys also.
I've had some bad experiences with female friends during my childhood. Apart from that, i dislike their pettyness. Few women are not superficially. Majority prefer to either gossip or beef themselves. I kind of fear that. Rejection from friends of my own gender or getting involved in something i'm way bigger than.
Plus i'm a tomboy. If you are too then there isn't much you can change. I've learnt to tolerate alot. And to be patient with others.
First thing you should do is discover you. Know why you are afraid of being friends with a female. That way it would be easier to tackle the problem.

Nobilitygem:
Hey dear I like tomboy so much, coolest people and easy to relate with chat me up 08076722914

Hmmmm

You can actually sleep at your guy's place or let them accommodate you temporary.
Anyways, same here I don't have a big female friends circles and I wonder how some guys claims it's easy and how they do it. Join a group with boys and girls in it, might be a good way to start.