ahiboilandgas:
men are like that we love to hang out, that where the business is struck and new jobs found via contacts not sitting at home ....last year i made around Bleep millions via contacts i meet socialising at a top lounge ...he will stop ober time .....i hope he not a womansier sga

Not all men are like that bro, speak for yourself.

chukwuibuipob:
a eife like d Op are difficult/ hardly to meet/find.God bless the womb dat gave birth to u.Sorrow is not ir portion. A jobless man that roam hang out till 1.00Am is a unserious fellow.Even if dey employ him touseless morrow, he'll catwalk the street. Only God can touch his heart sha.Tell him Amotekun,Nig Police,kudnapper dey

I thank God we still have reasonable people in Nairaland. God bless you for this your wonderful contribution. More grace to you

Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders,

I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.

He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.

The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.

Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.

Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.

Please move to front page for wider view

Maybe he is doing uber..
The work is plenty at night

bonnyhope:

You sound like cool headed woman

Do you give him the attention he deserves?
And again he might not be comfortable being seen around the house maybe because the neighbours may look at him as a house husband.

Continue talking to him and also pray along side with him

There's nothing God cannot do

When responsible men make a comment you will see it very clearly. God bless you sir, wisdom will never depart from your generation.

Caustic001:
12pm late? I remember back in naija, on groove nights na till dawn, l had a job back then though. That issue is a lifestyle and it will take drastic change to make him stop. Me I moved out.

Another irresponsible man spotted

Xisnin:

Intelligent discussion such as bet9ja odds and football scores?
Only on Nairaland are all the men intelligent yet intellectually empty when pushed.
Just check the average thread some create and the illogical reasoning behind it and you will be shocked.

The husband is so intelligent that he is jobless and still keep late nights.

God bless you a million fold. I wish we have more reasonable people like you on Nairaland

phlegmatic007:

Be careful of the statements, you don't know maybe he is irresponsible or just embarrassed of depending on his wife, since he has no job to provide for his family and finds solace in staying out late than face her.

Another irresponsible man spotted. Something is terribly wrong with Nigerian men, no wonder their leadership/government is a total mess

Mariangeles:


So you yourself, are you intelligent?
Evaluate yourself and answer honestly...

Funny you....

What do u know?

Am a voracious reader.


Am very intelligent and i keep up intelligent and up to date conversation with my babes....
U can't take away intellegent conversation away from me...


I read alot

Apart from gud sexual ability....nx is intelligent conversation oooo.



Some women are so boring that u jua av to keep late apart from gud sexual skills and ability that can make u want to come home early

olisaEze:
He probably leaves home in the evenings right? And he’s probably hanging out with other guys that don’t usually work a 9 to 5. Let him be, as hard as it may be. He’s trying to figure out a way forward for himself. Coupled with the probability that right now, he doesn’t want to seat in one place alone feeling sorry for himself for not being able to provide as he would like for his family. Just let him be, he’ll change as soon as things pick up for him in the job department. U might not be nagging him, but ur body language speaks volumes because u think u know how he should be behaving right now. Believe me, u have no idea what that man is going thru @ the moment.

OP, if you listened to this insane advice you will keep crying in your marriage.

chijioke17:


What you just did is plain wicked and insensitive. Words are seeds, you shouldn't throw them around just because you can. I don't support her husband coming home late, but that doesn't mean you jump into conclusions of infidelity. From the conversation she painted, he doesn't come home drunk, and she hasn't had cause to suspect any foul play. She is just worried about him coming home late. If you can't proffer a solution, you could have just read comments and not said anything. Don't destroy a marriage based on assumptions. Not all men cheat

Another fool spotted

Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN

Are in anyway related? Because this sad story you just narrated above is what killed my late uncle and his lovely wife. The only difference between your late aunty's family and my late uncle's family background is that my uncle has only 3 children alive, though presently the first child is running mad due to high in take of hard drugs. While the sane two guys are married now I guess.

I detest a man that keep late hour. Most especially the unemployed ones.

You sound like a semi decent woman, so I wouldn't be harsh with my response. My honest advice is let the young man be. He would come around at his own time.

Those of us who are town men are at our best when the women in our lives let us be. I am super sure you knew about this lifestyle of his before you married him. I guess the main issue here is the "he is looking for a job" part (meaning say raba no too dey too flow from his side), but just relax.

Lugianostar:
Go on your knees in place of fervent prayers before the Lord to calm him down by disengaging him from those negative friends that make him stay late and ask God to give him a job. Our God is ever faithful to answer you.

May God bless whoever wrote this comment.

kushme:


An 8 years marriage looking for advice from folks with less than 8 months relationship, shameless bastard.

Let him be and stop listening or watching too much Africa magic.

You are the real bastard here you fool. Why insulting the OP? What right do you have to insult her? Even her husband who paid her dowry never called her a bastard and here you are with the heavy hunger and poverty that is wiping your family calling someone's else's precious wife bastard. Thunder damage you fool

phlegmatic007:

Be careful of your statements, some people actually take random advice too seriously, you don't know maybe he is irresponsible or just embarrassed of depending on his wife, since he has no job to provide for his family and finds solace in staying out late than sitting at home feeling useless.

Oga try get sense small na. No responsible man will sound this way

[quote author=PatrioticNaija post=86742770]You don't nag, but you're putting up your husband on Nairaland for public discussions... you may as well crawl out with him [/quote

I disagreed with you on this. This is the character of an irresponsible husband. If he fails to change and meets what beyond him one day, he will learn. I don't pray for him to die, but his Folorunsho is climbing palm tree with useless weak rope that will disappoint him anytime from now. Wife, please keep praying for him so that God will change him and his character will not give you name when he does listen. Pray, pray and pray. There's a blind person outside telling him to be throwing stone at themselves. You know the result. Therefore pray and the Lord will answer your prayer. Amen.

igbojay:
Madam, you just said you married a good man,but the only issue you have is the fact that he is not always there and the reason is not even good enough.

You are too young to become a widow and you should explain this to him in this manner. Hold a mature discussion with him, calmly, without sounding authoritative or like his mother.

Your husband is in a very difficult position right now. A man's joy is in his ability to provide atleast the basics for his family. The triple Fs this brings him is what feeds his emotions and keeps him sane. Hence those smile you see on his face. When last did your man smile genuinely without soundly grumpy , looking lost and glumy?

Your hubby is passing through a psychological phase due to his inability to provide for his family.

Perhaps his plans are not working, he is tired of seeing you return from work while he stays at home all day. He still has his ego and that what keeps him going.

So he leaves when you are about to return from work,and stays out till its late, so he can atleast avoid the possibility of friction.

Help him. Just make him happy on any given day. If he likes to sex, give him the best of sex. If he likes food, prepare him something nice and massage what is left of his ego.

See if you can help him get a job. I beleive that's what he would do if he were in your shoe. He needs a sense of direction. He is at his cross roads. You can also discuss his options with him. Perhaps the next phase is to start a business.

Just give him the triple Fs and discuss his options with him as the caring and loving wife that you are.

Moreover, him bringing in some cash and been useful to his family will lessen your stress and alos put some smile on your face.

Help his ability to feed and cater for his family which includes his queen and not feed the family.

Walk him back to himself and not judge him. He is lost and needs you now more than ever. Go bring your man home.

Show me a depressed man, and I might show you a man who is angry with himself cos he can't provide for his family.

Guy stop this nursery school poem you just recited here and keep shut if you have nothing meaningful to say in a sensitive family issue as this.

Exactly what one guy in my compound is doing and his girlfriends are not saying anything about this habit.

Almost everyday he comes back by 10:30 -00 at time 1am , the funny part is that he jumps the fence and yet they see nothing wrong in what he is doing.
Tomorrow when they finally settled down them will be ratting nonsense.

I can't imagine having a boyfriend and he comes back that late , talk more of a husband .

Exactly what one guy in my compound is doing and his girlfriends are not saying anything about this habit.

Almost everyday he comes back by 10:30 -00 at time 1am , the funny part is that he jumps the fence and yet they see nothing wrong in what he is doing.
Tomorrow when they finally settled down them will be ratting nonsense.

I can't imagine having a boyfriend and he comes back that late , talk more of a husband .

Tim16:
May God bless whoever wrote this comment.

Amen

Sixfeetbelle:


Your question arises from the fact that you don't know people change?

They have been married for 8 years. In that span of time, the man in question may have changed job twice or more, met a new circle of friends through being a dad, and this 'night crawler' attitude sprung up from such changes in his life.

Op, I don't know how to advise you sha, except to sit him down one day, calmly explain to him your fears (use evidence from news websites to support your argument) and then leave him be. Don't use worry and give yourself high blood pressure.

I've tok my own finish.

This man can never change , the only thing that will change him is only if something terrible happens but him to change or she trying to change him , my brother is impossible.Because you can't change people the only thing you can do is to influence a change.

Similar experience with me. He comes home late. One day armed robbers followed him home..and the rest. Follows

Gwagone:
You shouldn't be putting pressure on yourself like this
Can you monitor his movements maybe once or twice with caution
Don't react when you notice anything

Pls ignore this advice

andycom:



Pls ignore this advice

And you think you have advice her

LyfeJennings:


Ode ni e
Ode Okunrin ni e
Over reasoning wan kill U
So cos he is jobless, he shouldn't go out
Do U even realize this isn't something he started when he lost his job
What should he be doing at home knowing fully well he can clinch something on the street. A job, contract or something.
See as U dey reason like mosquito
Not every guy that keeps late night is out there with some girl, U know
I got my current job as a result of my late night Waka waka. And this job pays me 4 times my former job with full benefits.
Reason like a man and not an e-diot

See this smelling dirty Afonja talking. Before you talk to people like me please go and tell your Ode dirty disgusting mother to stop defecating inside plastic rubber and stop living, cooking and eating inside Lagos gutter. Who doesn't know yoruba people are the most useless, dirtiest, confused jobless fools in Africa. Please go and stand on the road and collect 50 naira from keke and okada operators so you can eat today because that is all yoruba people only know how to do best. When Buhari mentioned Lazy youths he was referring to yoruba people. Quote me and die by thunder now now. Smelling yoruba animal. Dirty pig. Spits

Some guys are lucky, you ant working and still night crawling, most Nigerian women will treat u very badily

Tim16:
See this smelling dirty Afonja talking. Before you talk to people like me please go and tell your Ode dirty disgusting mother to stop defecating inside plastic rubber and stop living, cooking and eating inside Lagos gutter. Who doesn't know yoruba people are the most useless, dirtiest, confused jobless fools in Africa. Please go and stand on the road and collect 50 naira from keke and okada operators so you can eat today because that is all yoruba people only know how to do best. When Buhari mentioned Lazy youths he was referring to yoruba people. Quote me and die by thunder now now. Smelling yoruba animal. Dirty pig. Spits

Haba this is uncalled for , why dwell on his tribe

shadeyinka:

Send 13 hard street boys to waylay him and beat him up telling him he stole their ogas girlfriend. When this happens 3 times after 11pm, he'll learn to stay home

Lol. You are just too funny I swear

bigiyaro:
madam, just focus on your children, old age will calm him down.

You make sense ..... And also he just have not realized that he's a married man, single man life still dey him head well well...

cooltola:
Sometime it is time to play chess with your husband , Madam. If he come home late, then stop making his food . If he continues to come late, step it up with another action, then he will not know you are playing around. Just do not kill him or do anything against the law

These are the few wise and reasonable men of Nairaland. May you continue to increase in wisdom

cooltola:

A married man that come home late at 12am is a cause of concernt

God bless you sir. You are one of the wise and responsible men we have here