₦airaland Forum

Davash222:
So, calling names and neglect are now yardstick to cheat in a relationship??
OP, stay away from people who cant take responsibilities for their actions. They're worse than devil.

sorry to burst your bubble, but yes. In a relationship it is.
Most women cheat for emotional satisfaction. The guy neglected her, used abusive words and went on a fvcking spree.
How is he the victim? They both cheated.. He told her, she forgave him.
She told him he sin and he wants to die...

francislin:
Good morning guys, hope your night was great.

Am in a dilemma right now actually don't know which decision to take at this moment.

Am so sorry am going to stress you guys with a little long right up.
I met my fiancee with whom we have been in a relationship for more than 4 years now and we are already preparing for marriage before the end of the year.

The issue started when the pastor who is counseling us told us we have to make sure we are open to each other and no secret should be kept away from either of us.

Now the issue is when we got home after the class i told her i don't want to keep secret from her anymore as been advised by the pastor and she also did insisting i start first which i did knowing fully well i haven't been that faithful as a guy to her. Actually when i met her she was a virgin, i was the one who dis flowered her, i knew fully well she has never cheated on me based on my own knowledge and understanding, she has been there for me even right in her days in school while she was doing her ND, she visits me anything she is free and doesn't receive calls from guys as expected from ladies who go about, we know each other password and we use each others phone.

When i told her how many girls have had things to do with while we are dating, how many have slept with while she was in school and even while she is around but unaware, i made sure i clear myself with the hope of entering our marriage without any secret even with those she suspected which i denied initially.

I was so surprised when she told me as well that she had a fling twice swearing its just twice with 2 different guys and am the cause of it. stating she only did it once with each of them out of anger and neglect. Although i knew very well am to be blamed in most aspect which she insisted anytime we had issues i always threaten her with breakup and name calling but i told her that is not enough reason for her to do such a thing because i know myself very well i can't stand the sight of a cheating woman that has always been the major causes of my break up and she has been crying insisting i pushed her when i told her i no longer want the relationship when she was in ND she met a guy when we broke up and when she came back we settled again and she left the guy and said she only slept with him once and the second guy was when she was doing her I.T we also had issue she insisted i was calling her all sort of names and she needed someone to confide in and that was how she did it and she regretted every bit of it and she has been praying to God for forgiveness and she doesn't know how to tell me but she swore with her life that those are the people and times she did it. and she is not happy with herself and begging i forgive her.

I know most people will be blaming me but its not a yardstick for her to cheat considering the fact that we never broke up as such. we have already done the introduction and engagement already about settling the list. Now am having different taught going through my mind, because i can not stand a cheating woman, over the years she has been so supportive and caring she has stood by me and am so very close to her family including her parents and they have been so supportive concerning our marriage plans. we have already bought some things needed but right now am still having such feelings inside me because i never expected such a thing from her everywhere both at my work place and where i live people call her my madam she has access to my house anytime no one will ever believe she can do such a thing deep inside me i believe those are the only people she had something with, she has been crying and apologizing and am tempted to call everything off which she has been pleading but again everything has been set date fixed, church is already aware am just confused since that day have not gotten myself and i just hope am not making a mistake.

However she has promised it can never happen again and if it does happen i should kill her or do whatever i please but am still worried. I don't know if am being selfish or not but am just restless.

Please i need advice here please i don't want to make any mistake any further because have also promised to make amend but the taught of it still coming all the time even when i told her i have forgiven her but i still get to remember it, i have even told her about our tradition severally once a woman is married she can't go out and have decided to be faithful but the taught of it still hurts me. Now i don't know what to do, its still between me and her i never told anyone of it.

Now am thinking if to go ahead or to cancel it am just worried and i know the kind of embarrassment and disappointment the both families might face please i need candid advice thanks and God bless you all.

May God punish you if you hold anything against that girl. Its okay for you fvck around with reckless abandon but she's the bad person because she had a lapse of judgement after you sent her packing and even call her names. Na people like you dem dey set accident keep for

francislin:
That is my challenge. this taught keeps coming up all the time.

Some decisions are necessary for our own well being. You're a man with great ego. The possibility of you forgiving her wholeheartedly isn't realistic. Follow your mind bro. They are thousands of good women out there.

Blu03:
sorry to burst your bubble, but yes. In a relationship it is.
Most women cheat for emotional satisfaction. The guy neglected her, used abusive words and went on a fvcking spree.
How is he the victim? They both cheated.. He told her, she forgave him.
She told him he sin and he wants to die...

A woman that cheats for emotional satisfaction is not worth to be called a wife!!

Davash222:
I have no problem with her cheating on you then but my concern is, why would she blame you for her promiscuity? Are you the one that opened her legs for those guys to fucck her?

You started first by apologizing for your reckless fuccks then, but she started first by blaming you to be the cause of her well planned fuccks with other guys. She's manipulating you!!

Let her accept full responsibility for her actions, just as you did.

. I think you are right in a way. She should have just confessed and apologize instead of trying to blame the op for her inability to close legs. Like you said,was it the op that opened her legs for those guys?

Davash222:
So, calling names and neglect are now yardstick to cheat in a relationship??
OP, stay away from people who cant take responsibilities for their actions. They're worse than devil.

Your arguement isn't valid...
The man and woman cheated, she forgave him but he can't move on. That's why he created this topic. To complain that his gf cheated on him not that she blamed him for her actions.
We all have reasons for doing certain things. So the man just closed his eyes without thinking and started sleeping with other women?
If she didn't let him know what pushed her to cheat, how would he change?
She accepted that she was wrong even the op made it abundantly clear that he was at fault and that she was remorseful.
But he cannot marry a cheating woman even tho he's guilty of the same sin too!

OP, you are a very selfish eediot.

Thank you

Davash222:
A woman that cheats for emotional satisfaction is not worth to be called a wife!!

And a man who neglects his woman, abuses her and cheats no consideration is not fit to touch the feet of a lady!! But destined to die alone...
The woman cheated for emotional satisfaction, the man cheated for what?

Blu03:
Your arguement isn't valid...
The man and woman cheated, she forgave him but he can't move on. That's why he created this topic. To complain that his gf cheated on him not that she blamed him for her actions.
We all have reasons for doing certain things. So the man just closed his eyes without thinking and started sleeping with other women?
If she didn't let him know what pushed her to cheat, how would he change?
She accepted that she was wrong even the op made it abundantly clear that he was at fault and that she was remorseful.
But he cannot marry a cheating woman even tho he's guilty of the same sin too!

Like I said earlier, I have no problem with her cheating on him since the guy cheated. But, why would she blame the guy for the fucck she enjoyed with other guys??
The moans, orgasm, joy, satisfaction , all these she derived from the fucck, yet, she's blaming the gentleman. Such girl should be made to accept full responsibility first.

Blu03:
And a man who neglects his woman, abuses her and cheats no consideration is not fit to touch the feet of a lady!! But destined to die alone...
The woman cheated for emotional satisfaction, the man cheated for what?

The man was only helping those sex starved females around him. Maybe he's benevolent.

Davash222:
She's yet to confess. She has to accept full responsibility for her actions first.. That is confession. She's just manipulating the young man.

full responsibility as how?

question you don't ask a gf or gals in general:
1) if she has ever cheated on you.
2) how many guys she's forked in the past.
3) if she enjoyed sex with yoy more than her ex...
I've never seen a guy who remained the same when the above questions are answered.
so don't bother asking....catch a hoe cheating and end it that moment.

Davash222:
Like I said earlier, I have no problem with her cheating on him since the guy cheated. But, why would she blame the guy for the fucck she enjoyed with other guys??
The moans, orgasm, joy, satisfaction , all these she derived from the fucck, yet, she's blaming the gentleman. Such girl should be made to accept full responsibility first.

did she not accept it? So she shouldn't have let him know what pushed her to cheat? Again, you ignored my point... The op isn't complaining about her confiding in him but that she CHEATED. He can't tolerate it. Stop changing the narrative.
If he has taken responsibility for his action, fully understands and accept that he's as guilty as her, why is he here complaining?

Davash222:
The man was only helping those sex starved females around him. Maybe he's benevolent.

Then he doesn't deserve to be married... He should keep up the good work of oiling rusty engines.

Op never knew his woman can do such a thing, nonetheless the deed had been done and cutting off your head is not the right medicine for headache. So sum up courage and forgive her if you're convinced that she's not actually a public toilet and then, you too should learn to value what is yours more to avoid future occurrence

Blu03:
Then he doesn't deserve to be married... He should keep up the good work of oiling rusty engines.

Ivy, why are you taking this personal
The rusty engines ain't complaining, or are they?

Davash222:
Ivy, why are you taking this personal
The rusty engines ain't complaining, or are they?

It's very annoying..
Well AIDs has a way of making things settle down. The man, his gbola, and shoulders.

luminouz:
Ur moniker is an insult to true wisdom.


See the rûbbish u typed.

OK sir, I've seen u..... Naw check front!

See women that won't even pay for the wedding ceremony comparing sex a guy had with the cheating of a girl....The man can have sex with whoever because he pays the bills.


[ quote author=proclinician post=87051689]You
your own what were your reasons for cheating on her? Everyone should understand that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. It's quid pro quo okay garbage in garbage out. You didn't pay attention to her because u felt you had alternatives but now you realised you should take things a bit serious and your are angry she sort her own alternatives when you were cheating what's the sense in that. When you withdraw attention from a woman it registers on their subconscious you most probably have someone else and it's their prerogative to have their own flings as well so get used to it man.[/quote]

veteranExboy:
See women that won't even pay for the wedding ceremony comparing sex a guy had with the cheating of a girl....The man can have sex with whoever because he pays the bills.


[ quote author=proclinician post=87051689]You
your own what were your reasons for cheating on her? Everyone should understand that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. It's quid pro quo okay garbage in garbage out. You didn't pay attention to her because u felt you had alternatives but now you realised you should take things a bit serious and your are angry she sort her own alternatives when you were cheating what's the sense in that. When you withdraw attention from a woman it registers on their subconscious you most probably have someone else and it's their prerogative to have their own flings as well so get used to it man.

Okay

Blu03:
Then he doesn't deserve to be married... He should keep up the good work of oiling rusty engines.

He can marry 20 Nigerian ladies if he got the cash.When you women stop receiving dowry and start sharing the weddingbills equally,then you all can advocate for equal rights.Until then,stop this hypocracy.

you are just a hypocrite, you can't stand a cheating woman but you are licensed to cheat as you want ba? exactly what kind of advice are you seeking from us.

Do you still need advice?

Do you still want to go ahead with this marriage? Anytime you neglect her she would open her legs and blame you and the devil


Think oo....we need ubunja.

rubbish!! what kinda advice do you need? you cheated she forgave you, she confessed she cheated twice, why can't you forgive her? I know it's hard as a man but you just have to. forget story, if you call off the marriage, how sure are you that you won't get someone worse? that's why I hate confession. abeg continue like nothing happened even though it's very hard but that's the best thing.

blinking001:
Some decisions are necessary for our own well being. You're a man with great ego. The possibility of you forgiving her wholeheartedly isn't realistic. Follow your mind bro. They are thousands of good women out there.

I was in agreement with what you wrote until the last part. There will never be 'a good girl' for someone like the Op.

The problem here is that Op is full of ego and self-righteousness. He wanted a virtuous woman who would be completely loyal to him, despite the cheating on his part, despite the name calling, despite the threats to break up and such, forgetting that people deal differently with emotional issues. He fails to see that being emotionally unavailable was the precursor here (she cheated when they had issues).

Advising him to leave the relationship is good only if Op will endeavour to work on these attributes. Even if he leaves this girl, the cycle will repeat itself with another girl, and may even occur after marriage. If care is not taken, he may abuse her physically.

My two cents.

This is the OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zYQX-ermCQ

blinking001:
Some decisions are necessary for our own well being. You're a man with great ego. The possibility of you forgiving her wholeheartedly isn't realistic. Follow your mind bro. They are thousands of good women out there.

I pray no good woman has the misfortune of getting into a relationship with a hypocritical and verbally abusive brostitute like francislin. He should marry his fiancee. They are both cheaters and they deserve each other

So is right for guys to cheat.
When you pray to marry a good wife, also pray to be good husband!
You cannot wear designer suit with bathroom slippers.

Op...don't be selfish...I stopped reading at the point I realized u were pissed up Abt her cheating on you...wtf...u just confessed to cheating on her with several girls...so why don't u just forgive her and u both move on....
Na wa for you ooo... every body na human being abeg no body is superhuman here....we all have feelings.....pls op abeg u should forgive that lady and move on...
I think what actually surprised and baffled you was the fact that you couldn't imagine she could ever cheat on you..with the way she behaves and all but notwithstanding forgive her and move on..

Karma at work just be at peace with yourself first before you take any action you'll regret later in life

francislin:
Good morning guys, hope your night was great.

Am in a dilemma right now actually don't know which decision to take at this moment.

Am so sorry am going to stress you guys with a little long right up.
I met my fiancee with whom we have been in a relationship for more than 4 years now and we are already preparing for marriage before the end of the year.

The issue started when the pastor who is counseling us told us we have to make sure we are open to each other and no secret should be kept away from either of us.

Now the issue is when we got home after the class i told her i don't want to keep secret from her anymore as been advised by the pastor and she also did insisting i start first which i did knowing fully well i haven't been that faithful as a guy to her. Actually when i met her she was a virgin, i was the one who dis flowered her, i knew fully well she has never cheated on me based on my own knowledge and understanding, she has been there for me even right in her days in school while she was doing her ND, she visits me anything she is free and doesn't receive calls from guys as expected from ladies who go about, we know each other password and we use each others phone.

When i told her how many girls have had things to do with while we are dating, how many have slept with while she was in school and even while she is around but unaware, i made sure i clear myself with the hope of entering our marriage without any secret even with those she suspected which i denied initially.

I was so surprised when she told me as well that she had a fling twice swearing its just twice with 2 different guys and am the cause of it. stating she only did it once with each of them out of anger and neglect. Although i knew very well am to be blamed in most aspect which she insisted anytime we had issues i always threaten her with breakup and name calling but i told her that is not enough reason for her to do such a thing because i know myself very well i can't stand the sight of a cheating woman that has always been the major causes of my break up and she has been crying insisting i pushed her when i told her i no longer want the relationship when she was in ND she met a guy when we broke up and when she came back we settled again and she left the guy and said she only slept with him once and the second guy was when she was doing her I.T we also had issue she insisted i was calling her all sort of names and she needed someone to confide in and that was how she did it and she regretted every bit of it and she has been praying to God for forgiveness and she doesn't know how to tell me but she swore with her life that those are the people and times she did it. and she is not happy with herself and begging i forgive her.

I know most people will be blaming me but its not a yardstick for her to cheat considering the fact that we never broke up as such. we have already done the introduction and engagement already about settling the list. Now am having different taught going through my mind, because i can not stand a cheating woman, over the years she has been so supportive and caring she has stood by me and am so very close to her family including her parents and they have been so supportive concerning our marriage plans. we have already bought some things needed but right now am still having such feelings inside me because i never expected such a thing from her everywhere both at my work place and where i live people call her my madam she has access to my house anytime no one will ever believe she can do such a thing deep inside me i believe those are the only people she had something with, she has been crying and apologizing and am tempted to call everything off which she has been pleading but again everything has been set date fixed, church is already aware am just confused since that day have not gotten myself and i just hope am not making a mistake.

However she has promised it can never happen again and if it does happen i should kill her or do whatever i please but am still worried. I don't know if am being selfish or not but am just restless.

Please i need advice here please i don't want to make any mistake any further because have also promised to make amend but the taught of it still coming all the time even when i told her i have forgiven her but i still get to remember it, i have even told her about our tradition severally once a woman is married she can't go out and have decided to be faithful but the taught of it still hurts me. Now i don't know what to do, its still between me and her i never told anyone of it.

Now am thinking if to go ahead or to cancel it am just worried and i know the kind of embarrassment and disappointment the both families might face please i need candid advice thanks and God bless you all.

CallMeDrino:


You can't stand a cheating woman but you're expecting her to stand your cheating a*s?

You must be sick dude.... You cheated on her too..

Now that she told you she 'cheated' you're fuming.. (I can't even tag what she did as cheating)

Fvck you bro... Leave her let her find someone who is better for her.

I'm sure if you guys later marry, you'll end up abusing her emotional and mentally.

Correct!!!!
I agree with you!

See this clown...you have no moral justification whatsoever to feel cheated on. You were busy having the time of your life with other women and neglected her, what did you expect her to do? Become a nun overnight after you've broken her hymen...If you were a kid, I would have given U a knock ....U were even lucky she opened up to U which I'm sure only one in ten Nigerian girls will do....keep contemplating about marrying her till a more deserving guy steps in.....nonsense