I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage - Family (7)

I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Toks2008(m): 10:23pm On Mar 06, 2020

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

You go soon clock 30..continue

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by happney65: 10:23pm On Mar 06, 2020

Nigga is the MVP..Just fucccking the pussy dey go... grin

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 10:23pm On Mar 06, 2020

Sixfeetbelle:
Are you one of those people that pick out one word from a cluster and capitalise on it?

To your question: Google is your friend

Rubber is a polymer!

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by PrimadonnaO(f): 10:24pm On Mar 06, 2020*

Ineedtoheal:
Maybe I forgot to add this, he said its a spiritual thing. That it didn't start with me.

@Ineedtoheal, I perfectly understand the situation you're in.

But you've got to wake up! You've endured this bullsh*t long enough already.
The love you have for him is doing you in. But think about the future, it will be full of regrets. He's not infecting you yet?

If a man can't decide if he wants to be with you or not... don't help him... just leave him.

Sometimes, you've got to take drastic measures in life. I've recently had to block a man I love so deeply, because he's refused to make concrete plans... And also because for some reasons, I know the long haul wouldn't be good for me if I stick around with him like this. And I'm not even 27. See you gotta do what's in your best interest. Forget all the sweet talks... he's psyching you and holding you captive. Be drastic! Cut off and be determined to not go back.

Your excessive love for him already puts you at a disadvantage. Nothing good will come out of that relationship. Don't wake up to realise you've given the prime of your life to a man who wasn't worth it.

3 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by fergie001: 10:24pm On Mar 06, 2020

Ineedtoheal.....I didn't finish reading, please leave him and forge ahead.

Trust me....it will hurt a lil....I have that bitter experience even as a guy....Move ahead.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Queenza(f): 10:25pm On Mar 06, 2020*

Your own small..

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by valentineuwakwe(m): 10:25pm On Mar 06, 2020

what are you still waiting for? though its not how far but how well but in this your case this your guy is a demon to you..lose away from him n break forth....audit the relationship and behold your destined man coming....if you ever marry that guy, you will live to regret all your life, don't say VAL202 did not warn you..good nite

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by franchasng: 10:25pm On Mar 06, 2020

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

eh yaaah, this is what scares me about having a female child, I don't know how I will feel watching my precious daughter, my jewel being treated like a thrash by one boy in the name of romantic love that does not exist, at least in the book of men romantic love does not exist but interest and sexual feelings does exist.

My sister, I feel for you honestly.

You are not that guys desired woman he would be proud to call his wife, it's sad I know, but that's the truth.

He is shopping for a wife, and I guess his major problem with you is you don't have a good job, and he is a guy that fancy ladies with good paid job, don't ask me how I know.

Your man is also scared of the future, he is scared he may lose his job again, so he want a woman that can back him up. He likes you for romance, dating and companionship but he is scared to wife you mostly because of your family background and financial status in terms of job you do.

Please if another serious guy who is financially stable comes asking your hand in marriage seriously, accept him because this guy may marry you out of no other choice and frustrate your life which may end up in divorce.

Not beating a woman as a guy is no big deal, no honorable man does. I don't, none of my brothers does, and my dad never beat my mother as far as I know as their son. And why should a man beat his woman or anybody, for what reason na angry

He is selfish.

He is cunning.

He is scared of the future.

These are very danger signs.

Every man should be excited about his future no matter how bad things are at present cos dreams matters. There was a time things were not going smoothly for me some years back but I never shaked cos I couldn't just believe that I would be a broke man. I refused to accept that I will not be rich even when situation was so bad. Look for such a man and be with as a woman.

Let me add, I was a casual friend with my wife for many years, and we officially dated for 2yrs+and got married last year. A serious man of marriageable age who is not facing any financial challenges dont date for more than 3yrs to marry a lady he truly desire to be his wife.

All the best

3 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by victorian(f): 10:26pm On Mar 06, 2020

Ineedtoheal, honestly ehn? Your type I have never seen before.
Babe! You try!
I raise hand for you.
Dating for 5 babanla years!!!!! With a guy u call and seek his attention most times.
Mehn! U over try.

2Weeks if no serious emotional care from him, I'm gone.

6 months! If no proposal? I'm gone

1year? I won't even stay till one year sef! It's over!

Honestly u are a strong woman. Keep waiting for him, at least u are just 27 years.

Wait till u get to my age, at least 6years more, na then your eyes go clear.

Keep waiting.. Keep loving.

His wedding IV will jolt your brain back to reality.

Na WA o

3 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Iluvmycontr3: 10:27pm On Mar 06, 2020

thorpido:
There was a guy on one thread one time that made a wonderful comment about 'old midnight newspaper men' and their weariness to settle down.

You didn't take your time enough to study this guy and see he's just a player/non-committal guy.He showed signs of unseriouness from the beginning.
I will advise you to move on.This guy really doesn't want to settle and definitely won't settle for you.
Block his calls.Stop calling him.Block him on social media.It will hurt for a few days but you will get over it Better than just giving free kpekus to a guy who won't marry you and you are 27yrs already.

It wl only hurt for some days or weeks. Meanwhile, no pain no gain. Again, this girl wl hav alot of useful piece of advice that wl help her out from this very thread, BUT WL SHE ADHERE OR MAKE GOOD USE OF THEM?

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by TruthSpeaker: 10:27pm On Mar 06, 2020*

IF YOUR CURRENT OBJECTIVE IS TO GET MARRIED TO HIM, IT WILL ONLY HAPPEN IF SOMETHING UNDESIRABLE HAPPENS TO HIM (HE CONTRACTS A CHRONIC DISEASE, HE GETS AN ACCIDENT THAT DISABLES HIM, HE BEGINS TO SUFFER FROM ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION, HE LOSES HIS JOB ETC). WITH ALL YOUR WROTE, HE ONLY SEES YOU LIKE A FRIEND WITH BENEFIT (SEXUAL). NO MARRIAGE PLAN WILL EVER DEVELOP FROM THIS DUDE ON A NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCE. HE HAS SEEN ALL YOU HAVE TO OFFER, BUT THAT WIFE CARACTER HAS ELUDED YOU.
IT’S NOW UP TO YOU TO CONTINUE BEING LOYAL TO HIM WHILE HE IS STILL EXPLORING OTHER LADIES, OR YOU STEP UP YOUR HUSBAND HUNTING GAME ALSO. AS A MAN, HE FEELS NO PRESSURE TO GET MARRIED TO YOU, WHEREAS IN NIGERIA CULTURE THE PRESSURE IS ON YOUR SHOULDER TO GET MARRIED.
IN SUMMARY THE GUY DON SEE YOU FINISH ALREADY. IF HE FINALLY GETS MARRIED TO YOU, HE IS ALREADY CONVINCED YOU ARE VERY COMFORTABLE SHARING HIM WITH SIDE CHICKS.
I RECOMMEND YOU KILL THE (SERIOUS PART OF THE IN YOUR MIND) RELATIONSHIP AND START FINDING A FUTURE HUSBAND. YOU CAN KEEP COLLECTING YOUR WEEKLY PENNIS FROM HIM WHILE YOU SEARCH FOR A LIFE TIME PARTNER.

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by hahn(m): 10:27pm On Mar 06, 2020

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

First of all change your moniker to ineedtohavesense

Chai! So mugu like this still dey Nigeria?

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Opsylo: 10:28pm On Mar 06, 2020

Babe, Remove your mind totally from him,you are 27yrs,find your perfect way,you still have a lot of Admire outside there,make yourself happy and definitely you will find your perfect match.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by fabulous0156(m): 10:28pm On Mar 06, 2020

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

For me the advice I will give just try and relocate try and forget him if possible change ur contact with him and make sure you break up with him via text and just be yourself someone that will love you the way you do will come your way ...

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Abfinest007(m): 10:30pm On Mar 06, 2020

sorry

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Sixfeetbelle: 10:32pm On Mar 06, 2020

eni4real:
Rubber is a polymer!

I'm proud of you. You're really intelligent. kiss

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by pacificom: 10:33pm On Mar 06, 2020

I am not sure whom to tag as a time waster between you duo. Bible says" you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free" . Please know that no matter how far you travel in the wrong way, can never make it right. Set yourself free and move on. Good luck !

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 10:34pm On Mar 06, 2020

Sixfeetbelle:
I'm proud of you. You're really intelligent.

Lolzz

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Mac12(f): 10:35pm On Mar 06, 2020

It's obvious you pay him all the attention, you are the one going after him while he goes after other ladies.
Know your worth babe

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by tunize(m): 10:36pm On Mar 06, 2020

Ur story jst be like sey u see person wan kill u wit gun but u nor run instead put body to die.
So if at 27years old now, u don't know ur right from left wen do you intend to know?for someone that is exposed i pity u shall. The world is truly full of "bold wise fools"

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Machinegun91(m): 10:37pm On Mar 06, 2020

Serves you right, most of you ladies are too blind and dumb to recognize Who want to have you as sex machines and who really loves you. You must be good in bed for the guys liking, tell your younger sisters and friends to learn on you. You hv learned a good lesson from that dude now, May God connect you with the rightful man.

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by VEE2010(m): 10:38pm On Mar 06, 2020

Dear,
I can easily understand the story which is quite touching.
I must say that you made the right decision to have raised it here, even if some people will abuse you because they have never known true love.
My advice to you as follows:
1. Create an artificial shortage of your presence around him
2. Don't insult or stop taking calls in case he reaches out to you
3. Not all relationships lead to marriage, but the good thing is that you should always learn from past and present experiences.
4. Do not discuss anything near marriage with him, unless he initiates such a discussion and if he does, be sure to contribute less
5. Be sensitive, every suitor is a potential husband
6. Identify and correct your weaknesses.
7. Be sincere in your actions towards life and be prayerful

Be courageous!

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by OkunrinMeta: 10:38pm On Mar 06, 2020

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship

The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

It’s not that you don’t have sense, it’s just that the D is sweet and you don’t have sense

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Unserious: 10:39pm On Mar 06, 2020

freecocoa:
One doesn’t need to read all you wrote to Know that you sef no well. You better give yourself brain and stop wasting time with that unserious fellow.

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by WinForever(m): 10:40pm On Mar 06, 2020

Op, it is sad that this situation has lingered till now.
First, stop seeing him or sleeping with him. Do not even go to his house again no matter the pressure. This is time to move on! No matter the story that he tells you.
Secondary, learn to keep him away from youself, both physically and emotionally. The love you profess for him is only one sided and may not take you far in marriage. He will still be keeping side chics even if he marriages you.
Finally, go back to God in prayer and He will send someone that truly loves you.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Jonathan39: 10:40pm On Mar 06, 2020

You are the only one that spoke my mind throughout the whole comments I have been reading, now that she is a damaged goods, that's when she will want to avail herself to one innocent guy. God air pus ooh shocked

EliteDude:
This kind news dey pain me...
At the end after enjoying the better part of tnis lady, some dude some where bo marry fairly usdd product.

Damn!!! Tear Leather scarce oooooooo

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by safarigirl(f): 10:41pm On Mar 06, 2020

You are allowing one 40-year old evening newspaper to tie a young lady like you down?

Someone whose mates have finished birthing all their children, even Davido that isn't up to 30, has 3 kids, but one old man is feeling like a baby boy, and using you to play ping pong in 2020?

I know STDs can be transmitted, but not stupidity too. Aunty, Ji ma sun, that man is an old cargo, find yourself someone younger and stop waiting for someone who does not know that time is against him

3 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by DModeCntStopMe: 10:42pm On Mar 06, 2020

Ineedtoheal:
Maybe I forgot to add this, he said its a spiritual thing. That it didn't start with me.

Then follow him spiritually

Take his name to a babalawo

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Kc7: 10:42pm On Mar 06, 2020

Your late sister who raised you was right. Move on.

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Khomed: 10:42pm On Mar 06, 2020

Ineedtoheal:
Thanks sis. I'm praying for the will power to do that. it's as if I am powerless when it comes to him.

@Ineedtoheal

Hmmmm sweetheart you are on a customer service call that no one is going to answer. I categorically would put it to you that you don't love yourself or value yourself cause if you do you won't tolerate this.

Babe on behalf of yourself ehen I beg you stand before a mirror and acknowledge yourself for a job weldone. This is a relationship and not a marriage. You didn't even set standards for yourself and you hoping this man would marry you. I pray he doesn't self cause this Bobo won't ever treat you right and its all your fault. Babe nothing like 50-50 its 100-100 if you can't get the full package then no useless commitment or you think this man would somehow change his attitude.

Babe run abeg we have too much gory stories about marriage don't even wish he marries you. Forget the years and start over but start with a good self image of yourself.

You are well loved babe

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Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Jonathan39: 10:43pm On Mar 06, 2020

Mechie gi onu angry

i pity who will end up with you .let me not call you damaged goods sha

Ineedtoheal:
Ina akogheli nno

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 10:43pm On Mar 06, 2020

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

40yrs old and he's still not serious in any relationship Oga o, Dear the answer to your problem is already in your write-up just back off cause with what I read up there I don't think there's possiblity that he will marry
You he's just taking advantage of you
Even with his age you ought to know that he's not serious 40yrs and you keep on packing girls all around
Free him jare God will do a good one

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