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I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage - Family (13) - Nairaland

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Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Tajbol4splend(m): 5:27am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

Pray not to be in my shoes someday coz even common sense will fail you.



Aunty abegi nothing dey your shoe, this thing is common sense, use your brain on something obvious instead of seeking advice

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nelgenius4me(m): 5:33am On Mar 07, 2020
The truth is that you are not a priority to your man. 5 years is too long a time to waste in the name of waiting for marriage. How can you be dating a man that has a retinue of girlfriends at his beck and call? I dont think your man is taking you very seriously, you may just be one of those his side chick even though you think you are that close to him.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by deltateam: 5:34am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.


So many RED flags. I would have asked if he gave you love portion!

He doesn't believe a man should take care of a woman?! In this aspect, I believe its reciprocal but telling you up straight should give you the idea that he's selfish.
He's also manipulative and a serial cheat. He even invited the girls he's sleeping with to sew same burial clothes? That's where you would have ended it. The person that raised you told you the TRUTH before she died. Quit that deception in her honourable memory otherwise even if that man marries you, his cheating character as well as neglect will manifest itself making her words to ring in your ears.

No man that truly loves a woman would be confused about what he wants with her after 1 year serious dating.
You don't have to date for 20 years to know if you love someone.

A woman is like a flower. Your biological time is ticking away to menopause and that's when he will tell you, he won't marry you or you see his wedding card.


You know the truth, you are asking how to break away. Simply block his line, delete him on all social media and consider any of those men that are asking for your hand.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Oblitz(m): 5:41am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

I wish he will let me be and not try sweet talking me into opening my heart to him again.

Tell him to his face. If he doesn't want to propose, he should let you go. Time is running...............
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by deltateam: 5:43am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

I wish he will let me be and not try sweet talking me into opening my heart to him again.

Make a decision and stand by it otherwise you are a child.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by RedBororo(m): 5:47am On Mar 07, 2020
Dear you are 27 years and still active, please stop sleeping in his house , distance yourself from him let him have his life, if your have a better opportunity please start another relationship with a guy in his thirties and dear all relationships must not end in marriage free the guy, he don see you finish.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by supereagle(m): 5:48am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

He's not my friend on social media except WhatsApp that we chat once in a while. Wait till evening and you see his texts and calls pouring in. I have blocked him on severally but once I forgive him, I will unblock him again.
Soul tie thing. Untie yourself. God had shown you in a dream the outcome, do you want to wait until the dream come to pas? I pray that you will be able to handle the heartbreak.
A coworker in the office was dropped by a man she hoped to marry, the worst part, she collected her money to marry another woman.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by deltateam: 5:49am On Mar 07, 2020
xest:
The ball is in your court! Just read the write up again as if it's another person's own. Then what advice will you give to that person? Any advice you think is suitable for this matter, Then apply it to your own case..... The greatest trauma and depression is Emotional problem........ If u will take everyone's advice so far, JUST WALK AWAY. time heals. You will get better. Call me or whatsapp me 07038109881

Call you for what? To take more advantage, abi?

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by dingbang(m): 5:50am On Mar 07, 2020
ZooOga:


real talk, check dis out grin

Penis Power - Alexyss K. Tylor


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAwLYJYsa0A
omo boss, this is daaaaaaaaaaaamn cheesy

CC: Ineedtoheal
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by opeaskey(m): 5:53am On Mar 07, 2020
madam please fleeeeeeeeee.He is in your life to waste your priceless time.Thank me later.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by mariemummy(f): 5:54am On Mar 07, 2020
[quote author=I[/quote]

Babes, whatever we say to you here, won't change aa thing except you talk to yourself and say "enough is enough". You know your worth, don't allow any person treat you less. That your 40 years old guy is a commitment-scared type of person. In the next 5yrs still, he won't settle down not with you or any lady.


Please, value your self-worth and flee from that relationship and man. Do the talking - to-self, yourself to avoid 'had I known'.
Peace nne
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by mariemummy(f): 5:56am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

I wish he will let me be and not try sweet talking me into opening my heart to him again.

Ahhhhhhhhhh! Nne, idibero Serious. Bye bye

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 5:57am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.
Walk away and never look back if you value your life. How can you be this daft?
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by macaranta(m): 5:58am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

Thanks sis. I'm praying for the will power to do that. it's as if I am powerless when it comes to him.
You're are not powerless, you're just addicted to something he provides (could be emotional safety, sex, finances, etc). It could also be that you are having a picture of a perfect future with him already in your head neglecting the fact that it takes two to tango.
Now apply a methodological approach to this issue, find out the root cause of why you are hooked to his energy,once you honestly do this (write it down), now you have to use reverse psychology to find other sources that can provide that same solution he gives you. Once this is done, then you can truly break free.
The truth is, the problem with people who are addicted to bad relationships is that they don't see that it is actually them that have the power to change things and leave, take responsibility for your life. A man at 40 should have cleared all confusion regarding relationship, except he too is addicted to emotionally destroying people.

Ps, I usually don't have time to type long epistles on NL posts, I just read and pass but today is your lucky day grin wink

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 5:58am On Mar 07, 2020
mariemummy:


Ahhhhhhhhhh! Nne, idibero Serious. Bye bye
Ezi okwu,isi adiro ya nma.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by joyandfaith: 5:59am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

Fools fall in love while wise ones get married. Continue dating confused old man , your eyes will soon open.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Ficeo(m): 6:02am On Mar 07, 2020
My dear, you have tried. A man at 40 years who is yet to marry is not serious. Quit the relationship.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by supereagle(m): 6:03am On Mar 07, 2020
Acidosis:
To be honest, dating any man in that age group would come with many troubles. Ideally, a man of 35-40 years shouldn't be single. When you meet or fall in love with these men (which is what most women of these days prefer), you should be prepared to fight through. The solution is simple: fight through until he becomes yours through marriage (and be prepared to fight on to keep him)

The other solution is to quit. Get yourself another man and grow together. There are truly no 35-40 year old single men out there. They're always entangled with one or more women, one troublesome ex, etc etc. The decision is yours to make.
A man of that age should be serious to settle down if he has a good job. Having someone who has been with for 7 seven should make him settle down quickly, but he doing Playboy at 40.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by emerged01(m): 6:07am On Mar 07, 2020
Love is not losing control of yourself, it is foolishness. Be strong and walk to save yourself.

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by ucyonline: 6:11am On Mar 07, 2020
sisisioge:


Dont waste time anymore, just do it!

While this last bit may not be too good, the best way to get over a man is to get under another...not literally o. Rebounds take your mind off a guy like they dont exist. smiley

Don't forget that when you rush into another relationship because you want to get over someone, you will still rush out and get another rebound and the cycle continues.

I think the best thing is leave him, spend time around friends and loved ones, attend workshops... Just get busy and before you know it, the real person will come.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by lordkrys(m): 6:17am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

Read the ART OF SEDUCTION by Robert Greene and you would definitely get the strength to leave cause then you would understand what's really happening.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Kobicove(m): 6:17am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders...
Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

I would very strongly advise that you end the relationship now and start looking for another suitor!
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by manwes: 6:18am On Mar 07, 2020
To start with, I have been on nairaland since 2006 and never comented on a relationship post like yours. I have to do this because I can see that you are very much glued to this guy and might never see the hand writing on the wall until it's too late. I have just one advice for you. Quit this toxic relationship now that you are still young without counting the cost. This might be hard on you, but you have to save yourself because this man in question is not going to marry you. Why do some ladies demean themselves and settle for less because of marriage? Your case is even worse because you don't just aim to be married, you love him so much. His demenor towards you obviously shoes that he doesn't love you nor respects you. If you weren't financial independent to some extent, he might have disconnected himself. I'm trying to say that he doesn't feel any sense of responsibility having you in his space for now. PLS QUIT THIS RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT LOOKING BACK. Best wishes!

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by HonourableNiyi(m): 6:23am On Mar 07, 2020
No matter where women are on their path to greatness, one thing's for sure you females put up with a lot. But despite the obstacles, strong, independent, high-value women can be found persevering and handling all the challenges that come her way. And she does so fabulously because she’s learned a few things on her journey about what to lean into, what to embrace, and what not to put up with for one single second. She has clear morals and high standards. And sometimes, even women who appear to be confident and have a high opinion of themselves unknowingly or knowingly trade in their dignity and self-respect for a man´s love. They end up becoming a “doormat” or the overly “Nice Girl”. A high-value woman, on the other hand, understands that being a doormat or being “too nice” does not arouse a man´s devotion, and won't make him commit. Neither does she commit to things that jeopardize her inner self-worth and self-respect all in the name of love. Whether things are going well or terrible at the beginning or long term of a blossoming romance, always try to maintain your sense of dignity and self-respect. You'll find your man respect and love you more. Based on all you've said it's beyond clear this man doesn't love, appreciate, respect, adore or cherish you. I'm rooting for you to make the tough decision to call it quits and move on. You don't have to settle for a man you don't love but love you either way. Stay patient and be recommitted in your relationship with your creator. The man God has for you will honour, respect and love you! And you'll be thankful you waited on God's best. I apologize in advance for all the insults poured in. All the best sis.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Hollysaint: 6:26am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

It has nothing to do with him being successful. I have other people more successful and ready to spend on me that I refused and haven't said yes to. I don't know what it is about him.
Look for one of them that you like a little and say yes to him.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by mascot90: 6:27am On Mar 07, 2020
Am happy you are just 27 yrs... So is never too late to work out..... Abeg don't waste your precious time anymore
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Lordbucci2: 6:30am On Mar 07, 2020
*”The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall”* what are u waiting for??
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by AuroraB(f): 6:32am On Mar 07, 2020
Shibaraba:
Should we tell her?
...naa. She should not get wiser cheesy
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by sweetgala(m): 6:33am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.


Kindly move on, I don't think your boyfriend believes in marriage. If he is not married at 40 and feels no urge to formalise a relationship then I don't think he has an intention to do so.

You also mentioned he is seeing other women and keeping them around just move on.
I'm not a saint God knows but I'll never keep a lady on waiting for eternity
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by maxiuc(m): 6:39am On Mar 07, 2020
Your mumu is on another level

After all this signs you still have hope for marriage

Better quit
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by fegben(m): 6:41am On Mar 07, 2020
Your heart is already telling you something pls follow it to details
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Misscongenialit: 6:44am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

It has nothing to do with him being successful. I have other people more successful and ready to spend on me that I refused and haven't said yes to. I don't know what it is about him.

Madam, enough of all this acting lìke a child, when u wan get sense? How many more abortions do you need? Is it until you go broke because u have spent all you have on a looser? Do u want to grow old while waiting for you sweetheart to change his mind and choose you ? Or waiting for hik to be delivered from his spirituality before he can marry you.

Ar 27 you are spending on a man that clearly shows u he is not interested in u and you are atill living with him? Nne are you paralized? Are u blind in one eye? Are u sterile ?

Can you tell me one good reason you are wasting your beautiful youth for a lying deceitful old fool who doesnt deserve you?

Seee just pack your things put of that house, change your sim, move out of that location and start life again. If you dont do this, you may regret not doing it now, for the rest of your life

Girlfriend you are beautiful and deserve more , thats why men are still coming. Abandon this baggage of a man and see how you will begin to enjoy the life u never had.

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