₦airaland Forum

Ineedtoheal:
No one says it must lead to marriage oga. why keep what you don't need? If You really don't see yourself in few years time with someone, why waste their time? did you really read all I wrote? coz if you did, you wouldn't have make this comment.
I have begged him on several occasions to end things with me if he knows we don't have a future together but he refused. Mind you, it's not just a Nigerian thing. you guys are so quick in calling Nigerian girls out.

People that call Nigerian girls out have never been outside the shores of Nigeria... I av seen many attitude frm other African women and I have no option than to call Nigerian women Queens, mothers and home builders... Go to countries like SA and other southern African countries. Na women dey use n dump men.

GraGra247:
This is the biggest idiotic mugu of a lady that I've ever met in recent time.

Funny thing is that she's even literate and well educated.

All the village illiterate girls I ever met will never allow a man to toy with them to this extent let alone a supposed graduate living in a feminism dominated era.

The grand emotional deception called love have turned people to useless nonentities.

You can do worse man. You better thank God for your life and don't blame someone for their wrongs

Giving someone all ur love is not an assurance they'd love you back,do not expect love in return,but if doesnt be content it grews in your hear!

The guy has no fault at all, because, he never pretended to you, it's you that hates truth and sincerity, so, you only need to deal with yourself. He has been consistent with these behaviors throughout the 5 years according to your story.

What's behavior? It's a continuous disposition, that is relatively permanent and consistent over the time.
All I saw in your story was, about the guy and ladies(girlfriends) throughout, now, someone already showed everything about him to you, what do you want from him again?? You only want pretence.
Now, sit down with your brain and ask these questions;
1. With the true behavior of this guy that I have seen, can you cope?
2.(have it in your mind that, he is likely not to change any of his behaviors at 40) So, if you continue to see him behave that way, will your happiness be affected.
3.Are you ready for polygamy or marital unfaithfulness ( if he chooses to marry you)
4.Are you patient enough to receive with good heart, the news of another woman been impregnated by your husband? (If he chooses to marry you). etc.

I love one fact from your story, the guy has never pretended to you, meaning, you have yourself to praise or blame for your decision in this your relationship, madam ,the ball is in your court, whether you decide with emotion or whatever, in fact if you decide wrongly and blame the devil for it in this situation, even God can purnish you for accusing the devil.

Young lady I feel ur pain, I have dis friend when he was single have alot of girl friends but have one serious one he eventually married. But while he was dating his numerous women he feel jealous and threaten wen dey speak 2 other Male friends. The truth is u are being brain washed and emotionally blackmailed to think he love u. You are being used 4 d sex and the financial independence u offer.
Cos if I wanna kip a woman who does not burge me financially that's the exact tin I we do. Run 4 life n don't look back cos wasting 7years is nothing. Other guys who we take a bullet for u thinks u are taken while u are there giving free sex n money. Love is never enough.

Like seriously, med ooo... That buruku guy has nothing to do with you... Please keep him at length but don't burst up with him please, some guys wants you to show ur highness then after they'll tell you... You are the one that fucker up... Keep him but accept other suitors that really wants you... I drop pen

This guy has wasted a lot of your useful time, haba. He has relatives he respects, discuss the matter with them and tell him true of what you want from him then set him free.If no positive outcome, find your level

Awww... You are such a sweet lady, and I don't have an idea why you think this your relationship will end well.. From all you have said, lemme read for you what I saw on the wall... "It will end in tears" You had better run.

My sister, you are not doing well in this relationship. Wetin dey play? Abi the guy don jazz you? Don't be deceived, that guy is just taking you for granted and he has the effrontery to tell you to your face that you are very understanding. You need to cut chain. You will cry for some days, that's normal. You will definitely move on. Oluwa gat you and He will surprise you with a better lover. Take care.

dawnomike:
Kindly port before it is too late if you feel you are not in his plans for marriage... Forget the 5 yrs!
It is better to lose 5 years than a lifetime of regrets.

Now to the raw truth: DO NOT BE A FOOL IN LOVE WHEN THERE ARE OTHER MEN OUT THERE LOOKONG FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU!!!
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!

She's suffering from comfort zone mentality...the fear of venturing into the unknown again after having what appears to be stability for many years.
The guy is not her problem as he gaven her enough red flags to push her off but she is her own problem.
Another sad story loading...

Shibaraba:
Should we tell her?

pls do.

Trust me, it is the 50:50 part that will pain you the most when you receive sense. Chai!!

For you to open a thread here. You already know that it can't work out.

How can you wait for a guy for 5 years? Are you a forever living product.

You are doing 50:50 with a fuckboy and time waster. I feel like slapping sense into your head for at least 1hr.

Better break up with him and start seeing other men.

He might try to get you back, but never in your life accept him back. he still will never marry you.


You sound like this man has been emotionally abusing you, or you are stuck in a parasitic, codependent relationship.

Posts like yours are the true reason I bash men daily here.

Aunty what you are truly called is both a pickmesha, and a bob the builder woman. Google what it means. It always ends in tears for them

You need some counselling and serious mindset re-orientation about relationships and men.

I have read through all the comments this is my observation
1. You are strangley tied to that man
2.You are at the loosers end
3.You really do not want to be free from this parasitic relationship
4.You want the man to be responsible for ending the relationship.
5. By the personality you have presented here, you will find sane and Godly men who will ask your hand in marriage.
5. You need assistance to be rescued , you appear emotionally helpless.
6. The assistance you need are all in this very thread, if you are willing to take it.
7.It is your call, decide what you want.

Ineedtoheal:
I will try harder this time.

You can do it sister. You just have to save yourself now, give it all it wakes. Cry and and cry now so you don't cry forever. You will get over him after a few months. If your actions make him to wake up and be ready to do the needful, I will suggest you give him the chance

DeRay98:
She's suffering from comfort zone mentality...the fear of venturing into the unknown again after having what appears to be stability for many years.
The guy is not her problem as he gaven her enough red flags to push her off but she is her own problem.
Another sad story loading...

Gbam, sunken cost fallacy. Where she is afraid to leave her 'investment' even though she sees that it is failed beyond repair.

Ineedtoheal:
No one says it must lead to marriage oga. why keep what you don't need? If You really don't see yourself in few years time with someone, why waste their time? did you really read all I wrote? coz if you did, you wouldn't have make this comment.
I have begged him on several occasions to end things with me if he knows we don't have a future together but he refused. Mind you, it's not just a Nigerian thing. you guys are so quick in calling Nigerian girls out.

I hope you see this. It is not up to him to end things. It is for you to realize he is not the one and you find the strength to walk away. Players will never end things with you so that they can always blame you for the breakup later. It seems you don’t have a father figure in your life. If I may ask , where are your parents in all of this?

You want to break up? Call him and break up. Delete all his pictures, return all the properties of his you have with you . Delete his number and block same number on both phone and WhatsApp. Call one of your best friends and pour your heart out. Cry if you have to. Go out , look good and let guys start to woo you. Enjoy life and in no time you will get over it .

You are right. You have wasted enough time with him. Please move on and stop exposing yourself to hurt. He doesn't worth the stress. Move on with your life Sister.

My sis. truth have to be say, the guy love u simply because of ur good xter, fidelity & endurance, his is not ready to married u but rather keep as a side chick and never consider many years of the relationship and ur current age (27yrs). i will advise u, just give urself only 2month, don`t call him nether ask of him make sure you take note of what ever u observe, let c the reaction of him after two month of examination as u are doing that make sure u re given another man attention when ever they come ur way because age and time is not on ur side thank you.... good morning to u all my people. (Nairaland families)[b][/b]

Ineedtoheal:
Hi
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. [/b]Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. [b]When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial.

9. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

My deductions from ur lengthy epistle are;

1. Your bf likes you. He doesnt love you and he is not in love with you. He can't say he loves you and he continues sampling other girls. There is no confusion with love.

2. You are not a priority to him. At best, you are a spare tyre, a spare woman to have sex with when his main gfs are unavailable.

3. He will never marry you

4. He has multiple gfs now simply means he feels u are inadequate for him. He is seeking for what he feels he doesn't have.

5. Love is very important, but your love alone cannot maintain the relationship. How much a person loves you, by their actions you will know.

6. My advice to you is, even though you hav invested a lot, cut your losses and walk away and don't look back. You are relatively young at 27 yrs. You will find love again. Find someone who matches their words with their actions not someone who makes you feel unwanted.

GraGra247:
I agree with you but most ladies always allow their emotions to drive them to "slavish" attachment once they meet a good looking successful man.

Take it from me there's no sensible advice anyone will give her here that she will eventually adhere to.

Once the man talks to her with sweet words she'll run back into his arms and waste another 10 years giving an idiot free sex without marriage.

Its called Soul-tie. Women enjoy it a lot. It like a chronic addiction, highly possessive. I already discussed it partially on this thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5686294/true-love-fake-love

in science, it's called a codependent relationship. Something like harlequin and joker. She's definitely harlequin, and not the suicide squad version, the cartoon Batman, version.

The things we do for love.

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

You don't need advice, you know what to do.
Continue chasing other suitors away, you ll be alright last last

Any man that can flaunt other girls before you does not respect you. Forget about other qualities you think he has. No respect, no love, no commitment from him. You are fvcking dating yourself

What he's doing now is the harbinger what will come upon you when you tie the knots with him.ie.when you marry him.
I have a sister who dated a guy for 8 yrs.He too had other gfs aside my sis.But one day,my sis said: this is it.She called off the.relationship. She met another guy; they courted for 9 months and they've been married for 12 yrs now.
See,the guy is not just serious with you. You know but you don't seem to have come to that realisation. Or,maybe you're just in denial.Or,even worse, you're clinging to a fleeting hope.
Any guy who tells a ladies she's presurring him for marriage after. a year of dating is not serious with her.And he's got no plans for marriage with her.

johnmartins789:
My sis. truth have to be say, the guy love u simply because of ur good xter, endurance and his is not ready to married u but rather keep as a side chick and never consider years of the relationship and ur current age (27yrs). i will advise u, just give urself only 2month, dont call him nether ask of him make sure you take what ever u observe along the line give another man attention when ever they come ur way because age and time is not on ur side... for u not to put urself at the end... good morning to u all people. (Nairaland families)[b][/b]

He doesn't love her. Stop this sh!t.
She is not his dream girl. She is just available and part of his narcissistic supply

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

So you still need us to tell you to leave? See eh, you don't really know what you want. The problem with most of you gals is you chase rubbish things in men like 6packs, beards, cars etc I'm sure many responsible guy of your age circle have shown interest in you in the past but you turned them down because you see yourself as big gal dating a man that's far older than you.

Leave him now n look for a responsible man who's of your age circle

Goodluck

dawnomike:
Kindly port before it is too late if you feel you are not in his plans for marriage... Forget the 5 yrs!
It is better to lose 5 years than a lifetime of regrets.

Now to the raw truth: DO NOT BE A FOOL IN LOVE WHEN THERE ARE OTHER MEN OUT THERE LOOKONG FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU!!!
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!

. This type of issue happened to someone that close to me after 8 yes the guy turned the lady hands to BRT. A senseable lady should not date guy more than two year in the period of that two years don't give her sex at all in case if people that doesn't want to a no testing product you can give her sex maybe once in a year and I am very sure if guy loves you he will marry you within that period than be giving her your pussy Everytime he wants it honestly he will get tired of your pussy. Five years courtship is rubbish unless you did not give her sex if sex involved he will turned to ✋ hands to BRT lane because he might had explored all the juicy in your pussy and get tired of it. My advice though and talking from experience as a man.

LordIsaac:
Kai... Things we read daily that we think common sense can handle... Naija ehn

Dont blame this girl oh...because she sounds like he has a good and functional d*ck which keeps all the girls in perpetual confusion inspite of all the red lights.

Aunty.....u are simply the only the one in this relationship. When you guys courtship is like this,can you just for a second imagine your life if you get married to him? I am speaking as a married man.....guys hardly change in marriage. Marry a man you can ensure his imperfection while married.
Smell the coffee sis and ditch the guy.

Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

And that is exactly what I am going to tell you, if you like, abuse me, I don't care. But I must tell you the raw truth that can set you free.

1. YOU ARE A FOOL
How could you be this stupid to be cohabiting with a stranger in the past 7 years all in the name of blind love? You call fornication love? May God have mercy on you.

2. YOU ARE A PROSTITUTE
You have prostituted with a stranger for 7 whole years, and now, the stranger sees nothing worth in you to settle down with in any marital affairs, and you are here seeking for foolish advice after selling yourself cheaply to a strange man.

3. YOU ARE VERY VERY SICK
Come, are you this daft? A stranger is sorting someone else among his friends who he should get married to, and you are not in the picture, yet for 7 years, the strange man has been having free sex on you and he plans to use you as his permanent intimacy gadget because he finds out you are sick and can't act all by yourself. What a disaster!

4. YOU NEED REPENTANCE, NOT ANY ADVICE
This is where you problem lies.
The devil has succeeded to fool you because he finds out that you don't have the light of God in you. He saw you as a ready tool for sin and he used his own son (that strange man) to pin you down to sin.
Now, you have tasted the sin of immorality, you don't want to go out, you come here to seek for stupid advice instead of seeking forgiveness from God, and repenting from your immoral sins.

REPENT in truth now, and your destiny husband will come.

But, if you think that fornication is marriage, continue. Another man is coming to feast on you, this time for fourteen years, and he will push you out in the end even if you may have 3 children for him during the days of your fornication.

THERE'S NO ADVICE YOU NEED, BUT REPENTANCE.
Repent and accept Jesus Christ now as your Lord and Saviour, and you shall be saved.

Need Godly counsel? Chat me in my signature.

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

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xest:
The ball is in your court! Just read the write up again as if it's another person's own. Then what advice will you give to that person? Any advice you think is suitable for this matter, Then apply it to your own case..... The greatest trauma and depression is Emotional problem........ If u will take everyone's advice so far, JUST WALK AWAY. time heals. You will get better. Call me or whatsapp me 07038109881

Sharp shooter, u better be a good person to her oo

Will a guy a serious guy who can feed himself and his gf wait till 40years without marrying? He is enjoying different pussy including your ,he won't think of settling down . Pls pls pls ,run for your life if you are still ok and beautiful within 2 - 3 years u will get hooked with better one. Have a nice day

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I be⁹g you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

Can you plsz share your full picture. I cant understand how a full grown beautiful lady will descend so low to act foolishly and call it love....
I will give my full advise if I see your true pix