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I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage - Family (17) - Nairaland

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Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by prof30(m): 8:55am On Mar 07, 2020
Madam, you have the answer to your problem.. You already know he's keeping as an option, in case others rejects him.. U better plan ahead of him. .. If he eventually takes u in as an option.. My dear, u will regret being in a marriage.. Quit while it's still early.. 27yrs.. You will see someone who will love u and make u forget the 5years u have wasted..

If someone treats u like an option.. Leave them like a choice.. Simple..

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 8:57am On Mar 07, 2020
I am a living withness ,Dr.Wale Natural therapy Solves Infertility/ TTC and Stubborn Infections .08100459321 Chat him up or call him . This is my Testimony
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 8:59am On Mar 07, 2020
Are you too ugly to take all this shiit from a 40 year old guy? Please abort mission, you deserve to be loved and cared for, this is not anywhere close to a relationship.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 9:02am On Mar 07, 2020
Dear nairalanders, pls disregard the op's submissions.

She's my supposed fiancee , some of her stories are false or well edited to paint me black.

Here's the truth:

1. She has slept with three of my friends before, though not while I knew her. Conversely , my two friends are her exes and my third friend she supposedly had a one night stand with him. I do love her but my manly ego can't make peace with the above truths hence, my decision to keep the relationship open.

2. She has never spent a dime on me, my manly ego won't even allow me take 2kobo from a lady. Never!
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Slimmy0: 9:03am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.


You re still looking for second opinion With all these info.
Pele, you need Jesus to open the eyes and ears. I'm inviting to Living Faith Church(Winner's Chapel), Where God will order your steps and shpw you the way, open doors unto you and give you Grace to male the right decisions in life.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by dojnr4real: 9:05am On Mar 07, 2020
dawnomike:
Kindly port before it is too late if you feel you are not in his plans for marriage... Forget the 5 yrs!
It is better to lose 5 years than a lifetime of regrets.

Now to the raw truth: DO NOT BE A FOOL IN LOVE WHEN THERE ARE OTHER MEN OUT THERE LOOKONG FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU!!!
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, from the writes-up, he doesn't value you, and doesn't want to marry you either. That dude is really confused even at 40 he's putting up this kinda attitude. ONLY YOU CAN SAVE YOURSELF, JUST WALK AWAY, DONT EVER LOOK BACK HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU. We have a lot of great guys here and out there ready to start a journey with you. Even if he finally marries you, he will put you in pain ,cuz he will never stop cheating on you. Please, walk away.


OP, please, send me a WhatsApp message via the number on my signature. Don't fail to do so.
THANKS
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Heavance(m): 9:05am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.
I stopped reading at number 8.

That number 6, I couldn't take it anymore, chaiii.. How did you manage to do that?
He didn't show up at your person's burial and you are still considering what? Babe it's too early to accommodate stupid people, delete him from your contact list, block him off your life entirely else you will regret this thing.
Is it until you serve guests at his wedding before you know this is stupidity?

The truth is, this guy is tired of you, your body, your nature, your way of sex, your way of doing things. He is not moved again, as you are always available.... You are not scarce, so how will he appreciate or place value on you?
Look at the mirror, tell yourself you are too cute to be with such a person. Please be open to other guys and move forward in life.

This guys plan is to invite you to serve guests at his wedding. Better move.
The height for me was what you listed in number 7, I don't waste time anymore to block anybody who feel they are special, for me, that will be the last communication we ever have in this life.



Listen: tell him you are going on a date, watch his reaction. Then give any of your suitors a chance let then show you love, you may end up crying daily because someone will show you how special you should be treated. Not that the new guys are saints, but let someone else treat you good.

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Mnikperfect(m): 9:06am On Mar 07, 2020
Yes tell her the guy don use her brain drink garri sorry to say this mam you are no different from a fowl my advice is keep following him and keep rejecting the good guys cool cool cool
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by gudugudumeje: 9:07am On Mar 07, 2020
...but you have been doing sex thing. Takd to other suitor. And follow or, back it cleverly with a fall-back partner. That man is very irresponsible to have treated you and ur sister who raised you that way... Run!!
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by LoveThemChubby(m): 9:09am On Mar 07, 2020
My sister it is unfortunate that he is taking advantage of your nature but truth must be told.
1. You are only postponing the evil day (the day when he will eventually send you packing). It is obvious that he is just using you to pass time pending when his ideal woman will come.
2. It is better to leave now that wait for another 3 years or so. By that time, age woukdnt be as friendly as it is now.
3. Stop looking at the years you've wasted with him. Most people stay in relationships that aren't going anywhere for this reason. Dust yourself and move on.
4. Stop thinking that you will never get any person that you will love like him. When the roller coaster of true love sweeps you, you will want to hit yourself for waiting this long to leave.
It is not going to be easy but you have to take the bold step. It ia better to leave than to be left.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by enka05: 9:09am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

Thanks sis. I'm praying for the will power to do that. it's as if I am powerless when it comes to him.

You're not powerless. The sex is good and he knows that he's power over you. Walk away dear.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Olugbemie: 9:12am On Mar 07, 2020
#candidopinion

You can get over him
Get busy. Get your mind busy. With a job or with a male friend.

Don’t think about his positive part so you won’t miss him. Think about his bad part.

Hang out with friends. If you are bored get a friend that can chat with you most times and if you have a job get yourself busy. If you are an enterpreneur, sit down and set big goals and start working yourself out to achieve them. It will keep you busy.

Don’t go to his house. Don’t call (this is hard though but you can do it)

My 2cent
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Duru009(m): 9:13am On Mar 07, 2020
You have what I call SOUL TIE with that guy, evenif you move on tomorrow. You will certainly go back for the DICck.

There are so many ladies/guys in thes situation nowadays.

You keep defending the guy, I just pity you!.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Stewart883(m): 9:13am On Mar 07, 2020
PrimadonnaO:


@Ineedtoheal, I perfectly understand the situation you're in.

But you've got to wake up! You've endured this bullsh*t long enough already.
The love you have for him is doing you in. But think about the future, it will be full of regrets. He's not infecting you yet?

If a man can't decide if he wants to be with you or not... don't help him... just leave him.

Sometimes, you've got to take drastic measures in life. I've recently had to block a man I love so deeply, because he's refused to make concrete plans... And also because for some reasons, I know the long haul wouldn't be good for me if I stick around with him like this. And I'm not even 27. See you gotta do what's in your best interest. Forget all the sweet talks... he's psyching you and holding you captive. Be drastic! Cut off and be determined to not go back.

Your excessive love for him already puts you at a disadvantage. Nothing good will come out of that relationship. Don't wake up to realise you've given the prime of your life to a man who wasn't worth it.

You write very well.... Can we get to know each other better?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Okoroawusa: 9:13am On Mar 07, 2020
See you..

1 Share

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by MineBitcoin(m): 9:17am On Mar 07, 2020
My dear sister please stop being fool all bcoz of love and one stupid relationship, you dated person for 5 years, from when he was 35 years of age and u 22, and you've know him for 7 to 8 years, you are there fooling urself, you know him as a womanizer and u still insist on keeping the useless relationship,even if he marry u, ur pu**y only can not satisfied him, he definitely seek help outside and by doing that one day he will bring deadly virus � come share for you, my advice is leave when you can, I mean run for ur life, who dey even date for 5 years this day now maximum na 2year, is better u accept the pain now than to accept it on the long run.


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Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 9:17am On Mar 07, 2020
sisisioge:


It is not her fault, she's just so trusting and grounded. Sometimes, we act unlike ourselves when the issue is in our closets. Funny thing is that she would look back in two years time and wondered if she was under a spell. Bear with her biko.
You're very mature
Hope you're married
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by nkwuocha1: 9:18am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal
I took time to read your post,and I must advice you like I would toy sister.Please leave that guy,NO MATTER IF HE BEGS.I married my wife when she is 30!I need to tell you our story,maybe you can learn.

NB:I will leave this account open through this year, because I want you to quote about your marriage before the end of this year.Note this,only of you leave this guy.If you don't marry before the end of this yr, you're free to quote me and call me bastard.

The wife today used to be an ex to my friend.Yes! You heard me right.We are till date, players in same football team.And ofcourse most Saturdays and PH we get to see till date.

She was like you,silly for love.She would bring snacks and food to her ex in the field and I envied my friend.Her peppersoup was top notch because I always try to taste her food whenever she comes to our field.I buy things she sells too.

But guess what,the guy dumped her for a university undergraduate.I was part of the bridegroom.Three months after,I started searching for how I can meet her because I missed her presence.

I took her number on the pretence I need to buy some things from him.I started talking to her,she declined because she felt I wanted the cookie.I convinced her at a point and after so many beg beg I finally had a break when I stopped her at her house.She live with her uncle and wife so that's good for me.

I visited unannounced one PH, and knocked straight.The uncle opened.I told him I came to see her and he gave me a seat.We discussed about many things and the aunt also gave me a knowing look. At that point I knew she must have told her about me.That was the break.

Now,I told her afterwards that if she doesn't want me I won't disturb grin. grin.Thats a trick to find out if she likes me.She was only dodging my gaze as I pummelled her with those words. :DAdter I kissed her, 19 DAYS LATER I PAID HER BRIDE PRICE.Three months later we married traditionally.She was already pregnant by then.

Madam,any man that wants to marry you will do in less than 6 months.I have 4 kids already.But this friend after 9 years just have a child.Today,my wife still comes to the field with same food he used to eat.
Last Christmas,she brought goodies for our end of year party,he wasn't comfortable around her.I noticed it and teased my wife," your boyfriend they look your big bumbum".She quickly insulted me and continued smiling as she drove off grin

There's only one way for you to get married to a good man before the end of this yr.Leave that guy permanently.Adieu.

7 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 9:20am On Mar 07, 2020
[quote author=Ineedtoheal post=87209033]
I wish he will let me be and not try sweet talking me into opening my heart to him again. [/
You have a choice to make
But if you decide to wait till his wedding day, snipper would not be your portion
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by illiteratepmb: 9:20am On Mar 07, 2020
I couldn't even read to the end to know that you're been used! I know it's hard, very hard but you MUST LEAVE him NOW.
There is no FUTURE in what you're foolishly doing with him.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by ADAMUdaCOWBOY: 9:23am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

Funny enough I am not close to ugly. I am beautiful and light skinned.I can't post my picture here lol. My skin colour alone attracts people to me. My supervisors where I did my IT still calls me till date. both married and single. A lot of guys don't talk to me again coz I have cancelled numerous appointments with them. I look younger than my age even. I am independent and come from a good background. Not like I can't get another man but then I don't have feelings for them.
Given to the bolded, I think you should just be more patient with the guy, he will change. Love conquers all things you know.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 9:23am On Mar 07, 2020
4tunebest:
Ehn Ehn. Eeeyaaahh. Oma se ooo. S'omo ree S'obinrin ree Se graduate de le leyi shaaa??
You are not sincere with yourself
Tell us your number of body counts, holy mary
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Jonathan39: 9:23am On Mar 07, 2020
I am not a sexist! But I find it hard to understand how a lady will start living with a man who hasn't paid her bride price, the chance of them having sex everyday is high. Now when the guy end up not marrying her,isn't she a damaged goods?
Sarang:


Sexist
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by nnaeyes6: 9:25am On Mar 07, 2020
Them don chop this one
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 9:27am On Mar 07, 2020
sisisioge:


It is not her fault, she's just so trusting and grounded. Sometimes, we act unlike ourselves when the issue is in our closets. Funny thing is that she would look back in two years time and wondered if she was under a spell. Bear with her biko.
You're right. Even the guy that insulted her because of this can still do the same. We pretend to be strong and that we cannot fool around until the situation dawns on us. Then, we'll realize that we're just human like the other person we insulted for being stupid. It can happen to anyone.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by thunderbabs: 9:28am On Mar 07, 2020
sisisioge:
Chai! Biko leave him alone and go find yours! That guy is a no gooder for you biko. Before you know it, he will turn you into " I dated a guy for 10yrs"! I did baby...so take it from a veteran and run grin grin grin

Veteran, hope you don dey collect ur pension grin
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Bobskillo(m): 9:29am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.


My advice to you is as follows:
1. You have cheapened yourself to him by carrying out a wife's responsibilities when you are not married to him yet as such you become too common for him.
2. He doesn't love you at all. He is just keeping you to satisfy his own pleasure. But if u stop visiting him too often n calling him too, the love will come back. What I mean is, don't always be the one to call first, if he doesn't call just wait for days or weeks without calling him. I can assure u he will call begging u to come see him.
3. Start having some other guys as casual friends your love for him will dwindle.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by harbeyboi52(m): 9:35am On Mar 07, 2020
If u didn't mk d best decision nw my dear sister u might end up spending another 5yrs with ntin 2 show 4... #ja PA
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Alagboo: 9:37am On Mar 07, 2020
ProfDview:
Dear nairalanders, pls disregard the op's submissions.

She's my supposed fiancee , some of her stories are false or well edited to paint me black.

Here's the truth:

1. She has slept with three of my friends before, though not while I knew her. Conversely , my two friends are her exes and my third friend she supposedly had a one night stand with him. I do love her but my manly ego can't make peace with the above truths hence, my decision to keep the relationship open.

2. She has never spent a dime on me, my manly ego won't even allow me take 2kobo from a lady. Never!
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Alagboo: 9:38am On Mar 07, 2020
ProfDview:
Dear nairalanders, pls disregard the op's submissions.

She's my supposed fiancee , some of her stories are false or well edited to paint me black.

Here's the truth:

1. She has slept with three of my friends before, though not while I knew her. Conversely , my two friends are her exes and my third friend she supposedly had a one night stand with him. I do love her but my manly ego can't make peace with the above truths hence, my decision to keep the relationship open.

2. She has never spent a dime on me, my manly ego won't even allow me take 2kobo from a lady. Never!
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 9:38am On Mar 07, 2020
GraGra247:


I agree with you but most ladies always allow their emotions to drive them to "slavish" attachment once they meet a good looking successful man.

Take it from me there's no sensible advice anyone will give her here that she will eventually adhere to.

Once the man talks to her with sweet words she'll run back into his arms and waste another 10 years giving an idiot free sex without marriage.

Its called Soul-tie. Women enjoy it a lot. It like a chronic addiction, highly possessive. I already discussed it partially on this thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5686294/true-love-fake-love
The man may not even be good looking. He might have sweet tongue and character that appears good on the surface, but inwardly, he's just a player and women always fall for this type of men. At times, you'll wonder what some beautiful girls saw in ugly guys who maltreat them. So, it's not all about being good looking. Another reason is that girls are now desperate for marriage. Also, some don't possess the willpower to make good judgement and to let go easily when the red sign is there. It also happens to some guys. They find it hard to let go.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Funkaish: 9:38am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

Funny enough I am not close to ugly. I am beautiful and light skinned.I can't post my picture here lol. My skin colour alone attracts people to me. My supervisors where I did my IT still calls me till date. both married and single. A lot of guys don't talk to me again coz I have cancelled numerous appointments with them. I look younger than my age even. I am independent and come from a good background. Not like I can't get another man but then I don't have feelings for them.
madam you need serious prayers...use your brain to think and not your heart, I was once in a wrong relationship and I love this guy so much with all my heart, but I knew he doesn't love me because he has numerous girlfriends, he is rich and goodlooking. I saw all the red flags and I talked to myself seriously, I was young around 19--20 years old in 200 level. I prayed to God to give me the grace to cut off this relationship and he should bring my hubby to me. The next day I broke up with him...he acted like he was hurt for few days. I blocked him on all angles. Few weeks later my husband came...I didn't like him because he was not too handsome, he's appearance his not encouraging, he was not rich but he was in final year in the same university. I asked God to give me a sign if this guy was my hubby...God gave me..we started the relationship even though I didn't like him..but this guy loved me like crazy, he treated me like a queen, taught me, shares his plan and ideas. He has financial difficulties I supported him...in his final year..I grew to love him...7 years later the story has changed...we are married with two kids we both are working,He still loved me like crazy till date... Although he is not perfect but he is better than some men, doesn't womanise ànd Godfearing. So my dear..my best advise for you is to start a new relationship and forget this guy. I beg you..receive sense

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