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I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage - Family (16) - Nairaland

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Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Yxxx: 8:06am On Mar 07, 2020
ejimatic:
. This man will never marry you...You asked him he said he would not marry you but he loves you...He even asked u what would happen if he did not marry you.At a function three others girlfriends came....If he had never said and done the above I would say may be he is not ready yet for marriage with you but he would still marry you...Now do this: Call him and tell him how you feel again and let him know that you want to leave him now.End your relationship officially.If he still needs you he will call you back...You have endured enough for him.

What are you saying? So if he needs her and calls back she should accept. She should quit for her sanity and for fresh air.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by ajealadick(m): 8:08am On Mar 07, 2020
When I read #7 I gave up on you. Move on, you don't belong there
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Sarang(f): 8:08am On Mar 07, 2020
Jonathan39:
Have you heard of the word "elastic limit" before? The male and female are different. Protect that thing for the man that will pay your bride price, if not ......

Sexist
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Coldfeets: 8:10am On Mar 07, 2020
Oblitz:


Tell him to his face. If he doesn't want to propose, he should let you go. Time is running...............

Look at this one o!

Yeye advisers every where!

Was he holding her in captive against her will before?

Of course, she's knows she's free to go anytime she wants to go.

The problem is does she really wanna go?
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Yxxx: 8:13am On Mar 07, 2020
Mizwisdom:


15 years of fornication? will you like this kind of destiny for your daughter?

God forbid

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by PrimadonnaO(f): 8:14am On Mar 07, 2020
Candycrushy:
How do pple stay 5 years in a relationship??
God please help me...

God should help you do what? To learn how to stay in a relationship for up to 5 years?
Better unpray that prayer. What are two mature adults dating for more than two years for?
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 8:14am On Mar 07, 2020
is it dat other guys don't chyke u. dat u are sticked to one
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by luluosas(m): 8:16am On Mar 07, 2020
You are the one wasting your time because you lack the capacity to think and the courage to act. Repent now
Ineedtoheal:

No one says it must lead to marriage oga. why keep what you don't need? If You really don't see yourself in few years time with someone, why waste their time? did you really read all I wrote? coz if you did, you wouldn't have make this comment.
I have begged him on several occasions to end things with me if he knows we don't have a future together but he refused. Mind you, it's not just a Nigerian thing. you guys are so quick in calling Nigerian girls out.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by EngineerOloye: 8:17am On Mar 07, 2020
Dear Daughter of God,
Jesus truly loves you and He gave himself to set you free from bondage!
In case you think what you are going through is only physical... you are dead wrong. Mind you, you don't need to see chains around you in a dream before you are told you are in bondage.
Please prayerful pick up your Bible and read to learn about love and what values God Himself places on you. While you are at it, ask God to make all things new for you and receive Jesus as your Lord, not just Savior this time around. Also ask for the Holy spirit... He gives sense and strength to Believers and constant fellowship with Him will protect you from stupid decisions. The sex clearly is an issue here, and will make it even difficult, but remember... you are God's property. God is with you.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 8:17am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

No one says it must lead to marriage oga. why keep what you don't need? If You really don't see yourself in few years time with someone, why waste their time? did you really read all I wrote? coz if you did, you wouldn't have make this comment.
I have begged him on several occasions to end things with me if he knows we don't have a future together but he refused. Mind you, it's not just a Nigerian thing. you guys are so quick in calling Nigerian girls out.
chai! See this madam ooh, you what beg him to end things with you. I thought you dont know that the relationship wont lead to marry. You the problem to yourself, better move on ooh. If you will use your common sense very well and move on. Dont be a problem to your solution.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by jovijovi: 8:19am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

I wish he will let me be and not try sweet talking me into opening my heart to him again.

U have opened your heart for a whole five years even opened your legs join, and also your finance, pls. Close all and hearken to the advice of the experienced posters here. If you don't close your eyes and quit the relationship, u will soon come back with a topic titled someone break my heart and my legs.
A lady that has source of income is not supposed to be used as a dummy by any guy cos you have all it takes to make a good choice, 27 years old is still young, so buckle up ask God to forgive you for fornicating for a whole five years, then wait for the best to come your way.

Pls. Check my signature for ur waist trainer and other body shapers, burn your belly fat and be of good shape. WE DELIVER NATIONWIDE.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Mreazi121(m): 8:22am On Mar 07, 2020
This lady is not telling us the truth, she's the one deceiving and holding herself back from leaving the guy, and is either she's damn ugly or she's above 27 and no matter what you guy's tell her here, she won't leave the Mr 40... keep giving him free kpekus until you enter menopause, as for the man, a fool at 40 is a fool forever.. he's still enjoying life and I don't see settling down in 15yrs time..
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Johnson5258: 8:22am On Mar 07, 2020
This is indeed great but i advise you to discuss with maybe your pastor or Imam. A man that hasn't sit to plan his life at 40 is who you're talking about here, Madam I hope you want to see you succeed in your life? Is it pension he wants to use to pay school fees? Meanwhile, I believe you haven't been having sex with him not to talk of abortion.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Itzpearlz: 8:23am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.


Biko which raw truth are you looking for again?
This story you have written, read it to your mind and you would have all the answers.

Usually when we write down our story, it's easier to weigh it in perspective.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by luluosas(m): 8:25am On Mar 07, 2020
And you keep opening your legs. Shame
Ineedtoheal:

I wish he will let me be and not try sweet talking me into opening my heart to him again.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by jbhitler(m): 8:26am On Mar 07, 2020
when I am here praying day and night for a life partner and here she finds herself in a wrong hands. life is not fair.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by AkolagTech: 8:31am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

I wish he will let me be and not try sweet talking me into opening my heart to him again.
You already know he's going to try sweet talking. Congratulations. Part of your problem is solved. Don't give him the chance to talk. Just call the relationship off yourself and I repeat, don't gibe him any chance to talk. Sometimes you have to break your own heart so that you will know where all the pieces fall to. You heal better and faster that way. Granted that you love him, but you have to love yourself first.
Good luck with your decision.
And try not to lock your heart off love when the next man comes calling. He may just be the one God is sending to bring you all the happiness you deserve.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by KelvinC1(m): 8:31am On Mar 07, 2020
dawnomike:
Kindly port before it is too late if you feel you are not in his plans for marriage... Forget the 5 yrs!
It is better to lose 5 years than a lifetime of regrets.

Now to the raw truth: DO NOT BE A FOOL IN LOVE WHEN THERE ARE OTHER MEN OUT THERE LOOKONG FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU!!!
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!

wow
you are DEEP and insightful.

please
good morning brotherly
please can you help me with a hint or process of how to go about owing my own blog? thanks HAPPY WEEKEND
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Teespice(f): 8:32am On Mar 07, 2020
please ehn, just count your losses and move on in peace.
his nasty side far outweighs his good.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Alagboo: 8:34am On Mar 07, 2020
thorpido:
̷T̷̷h̷̷e̷̷r̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷w̷̷a̷̷s̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷ ̷̷g̷̷u̷̷y̷̷ ̷̷o̷̷n̷̷ ̷̷o̷̷n̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷h̷̷r̷̷e̷̷a̷̷d̷̷ ̷̷o̷̷n̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷i̷̷m̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷h̷̷a̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷m̷̷a̷̷d̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷ ̷̷w̷̷o̷̷n̷̷d̷̷e̷̷r̷̷f̷̷u̷̷l̷̷ ̷̷c̷̷o̷̷m̷̷m̷̷e̷̷n̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷b̷̷o̷̷u̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷'̷̷o̷̷l̷̷d̷̷ ̷̷m̷̷i̷̷d̷̷n̷̷i̷̷g̷̷h̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷n̷̷e̷̷w̷̷s̷̷p̷̷a̷̷p̷̷e̷̷r̷̷ ̷̷m̷̷e̷̷n̷̷'̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷n̷̷d̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷h̷̷e̷̷i̷̷r̷̷ ̷̷w̷̷e̷̷a̷̷r̷̷i̷̷n̷̷e̷̷s̷̷s̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷o̷̷ ̷̷s̷̷e̷̷t̷̷t̷̷l̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷d̷̷o̷̷w̷̷n̷̷.̷̷
̷̷
̷̷Y̷̷o̷̷u̷̷ ̷̷d̷̷i̷̷d̷̷n̷̷'̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷a̷̷k̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷y̷̷o̷̷u̷̷r̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷i̷̷m̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷e̷̷n̷̷o̷̷u̷̷g̷̷h̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷o̷̷ ̷̷s̷̷t̷̷u̷̷d̷̷y̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷h̷̷i̷̷s̷̷ ̷̷g̷̷u̷̷y̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷n̷̷d̷̷ ̷̷s̷̷e̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷h̷̷e̷̷'̷̷s̷̷ ̷̷j̷̷u̷̷s̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷ ̷̷p̷̷l̷̷a̷̷y̷̷e̷̷r̷̷/̷̷n̷̷o̷̷n̷̷-̷̷c̷̷o̷̷m̷̷m̷̷i̷̷t̷̷t̷̷a̷̷l̷̷ ̷̷g̷̷u̷̷y̷̷.̷̷H̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷s̷̷h̷̷o̷̷w̷̷e̷̷d̷̷ ̷̷s̷̷i̷̷g̷̷n̷̷s̷̷ ̷̷o̷̷f̷̷ ̷̷u̷̷n̷̷s̷̷e̷̷r̷̷i̷̷o̷̷u̷̷n̷̷e̷̷s̷̷s̷̷ ̷̷f̷̷r̷̷o̷̷m̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷h̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷b̷̷e̷̷g̷̷i̷̷n̷̷n̷̷i̷̷n̷̷g̷̷.̷̷
̷̷I̷̷ ̷̷w̷̷i̷̷l̷̷l̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷d̷̷v̷̷i̷̷s̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷y̷̷o̷̷u̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷o̷̷ ̷̷m̷̷o̷̷v̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷o̷̷n̷̷.̷̷T̷̷h̷̷i̷̷s̷̷ ̷̷g̷̷u̷̷y̷̷ ̷̷r̷̷e̷̷a̷̷l̷̷l̷̷y̷̷ ̷̷d̷̷o̷̷e̷̷s̷̷n̷̷'̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷w̷̷a̷̷n̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷o̷̷ ̷̷s̷̷e̷̷t̷̷t̷̷l̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷n̷̷d̷̷ ̷̷d̷̷e̷̷f̷̷i̷̷n̷̷i̷̷t̷̷e̷̷l̷̷y̷̷ ̷̷w̷̷o̷̷n̷̷'̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷s̷̷e̷̷t̷̷t̷̷l̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷f̷̷o̷̷r̷̷ ̷̷y̷̷o̷̷u̷̷.̷̷
̷̷B̷̷l̷̷o̷̷c̷̷k̷̷ ̷̷h̷̷i̷̷s̷̷ ̷̷c̷̷a̷̷l̷̷l̷̷s̷̷.̷̷S̷̷t̷̷o̷̷p̷̷ ̷̷c̷̷a̷̷l̷̷l̷̷i̷̷n̷̷g̷̷ ̷̷h̷̷i̷̷m̷̷.̷̷B̷̷l̷̷o̷̷c̷̷k̷̷ ̷̷h̷̷i̷̷m̷̷ ̷̷o̷̷n̷̷ ̷̷s̷̷o̷̷c̷̷i̷̷a̷̷l̷̷ ̷̷m̷̷e̷̷d̷̷i̷̷a̷̷.̷̷I̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷w̷̷i̷̷l̷̷l̷̷ ̷̷h̷̷u̷̷r̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷f̷̷o̷̷r̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷ ̷̷f̷̷e̷̷w̷̷ ̷̷d̷̷a̷̷y̷̷s̷̷ ̷̷b̷̷u̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷y̷̷o̷̷u̷̷ ̷̷w̷̷i̷̷l̷̷l̷̷ ̷̷g̷̷e̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷o̷̷v̷̷e̷̷r̷̷ ̷̷i̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷B̷̷e̷̷t̷̷t̷̷e̷̷r̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷h̷̷a̷̷n̷̷ ̷̷j̷̷u̷̷s̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷g̷̷i̷̷v̷̷i̷̷n̷̷g̷̷ ̷̷f̷̷r̷̷e̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷k̷̷p̷̷e̷̷k̷̷u̷̷s̷̷ ̷̷t̷̷o̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷ ̷̷g̷̷u̷̷y̷̷ ̷̷w̷̷h̷̷o̷̷ ̷̷w̷̷o̷̷n̷̷'̷̷t̷̷ ̷̷m̷̷a̷̷r̷̷r̷̷y̷̷ ̷̷y̷̷o̷̷u̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷n̷̷d̷̷ ̷̷y̷̷o̷̷u̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷r̷̷e̷̷ ̷̷2̷̷7̷̷y̷̷r̷̷s̷̷ ̷̷a̷̷l̷̷r̷̷e̷̷a̷̷d̷̷y̷̷.̷
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by EliteDude(m): 8:35am On Mar 07, 2020
Sixfeetbelle:


This your question hard small, but I want to believe that with time and patience, the partner will know if their bae/boo is a virgin or not.

Truth is: It's just a gamble, really. Even a union of virgins only doesn't guarantee happiness and fulfillment in marriage.

I know it doesnt guarantee hapiness. I know quite alright. Just that marrying tear rubber will make me adore her.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Edenx: 8:37am On Mar 07, 2020
My experience in life have thought me not the judge or give an opinion in a matter unless you hear from both sides , people are experts these days on how to sound very right and perfect to gather sympathy, in most cases you will be shocked when you hear the submission from the other party.For instance she said they both contribute 50-50 to the relationship but at the same time she's giving the impression that's he's stingy,she says he's gentle and motivates but she's stubborn but quick to forgive. What I've seen here is the girl toning down her own bad attitude and embellishing the bad side of the guy so she can be seen to be good and attract sympathy. Babe if you think he's not good enough for you walk away it's ur loss or gain ,no one here can really experience what u are passing through like you do

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by EliteDude(m): 8:37am On Mar 07, 2020
Jonathan39:
You are the only one that spoke my mind throughout the whole comments I have been reading, now that she is a damaged goods, that's when she will want to avail herself to one innocent guy. God air pus ooh shocked

Na then she go they think clearly. Amen o!!

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by ejimatic: 8:40am On Mar 07, 2020
Yxxx:


What are you saying? So if he needs her and calls back she should accept. She should quit for her sanity and for fresh air.
. I am also in support of leaving her as indicates in my comment.However if she officially leaves him and he calls her with a view to arranging their marriage rites (which I doubt ) she may still accept and give him stringent conditions unlike when she allowed him to play on her and toy with her feelings anyhow.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Alagboo: 8:42am On Mar 07, 2020
Acidosis:
̶T̶̶o̶̶ ̶̶b̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶h̶̶o̶̶n̶̶e̶̶s̶̶t̶̶,̶̶ ̶̶d̶̶a̶̶t̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶n̶̶y̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶a̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶g̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶g̶̶r̶̶o̶̶u̶̶p̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶c̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶i̶̶t̶̶h̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶a̶̶n̶̶y̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶r̶̶o̶̶u̶̶b̶̶l̶̶e̶̶s̶̶.̶̶ ̶̶I̶̶d̶̶e̶̶a̶̶l̶̶l̶̶y̶̶,̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶a̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶f̶̶ ̶̶3̶̶5̶̶-̶̶4̶̶0̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶e̶̶a̶̶r̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶h̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶n̶̶'̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶b̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶̶l̶̶e̶̶.̶̶ ̶̶W̶̶h̶̶e̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶e̶̶e̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶f̶̶a̶̶l̶̶l̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶l̶̶o̶̶v̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶i̶̶t̶̶h̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶s̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶e̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶(̶̶w̶̶h̶̶i̶̶c̶̶h̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶o̶̶s̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶f̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶s̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶d̶̶a̶̶y̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶p̶̶r̶̶e̶̶f̶̶e̶̶r̶̶)̶̶,̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶h̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶b̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶p̶̶r̶̶e̶̶p̶̶a̶̶r̶̶e̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶o̶̶ ̶̶f̶̶i̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶r̶̶o̶̶u̶̶g̶̶h̶̶.̶̶ ̶̶T̶̶h̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶o̶̶l̶̶u̶̶t̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶i̶̶m̶̶p̶̶l̶̶e̶̶:̶̶ ̶̶f̶̶i̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶r̶̶o̶̶u̶̶g̶̶h̶̶ ̶̶u̶̶n̶̶t̶̶i̶̶l̶̶ ̶̶h̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶b̶̶e̶̶c̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶r̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶r̶̶o̶̶u̶̶g̶̶h̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶a̶̶r̶̶r̶̶i̶̶a̶̶g̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶(̶̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶b̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶p̶̶r̶̶e̶̶p̶̶a̶̶r̶̶e̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶o̶̶ ̶̶f̶̶i̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶o̶̶ ̶̶k̶̶e̶̶e̶̶p̶̶ ̶̶h̶̶i̶̶m̶̶)̶̶
̶̶
̶̶T̶̶h̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶o̶̶l̶̶u̶̶t̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶o̶̶ ̶̶q̶̶u̶̶i̶̶t̶̶.̶̶ ̶̶G̶̶e̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶r̶̶s̶̶e̶̶l̶̶f̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶n̶̶o̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶a̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶g̶̶r̶̶o̶̶w̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶o̶̶g̶̶e̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶.̶̶ ̶̶T̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶r̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶r̶̶u̶̶l̶̶y̶̶ ̶̶n̶̶o̶̶ ̶̶3̶̶5̶̶-̶̶4̶̶0̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶e̶̶a̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶l̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶̶l̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶e̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶u̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶̶.̶̶ ̶̶T̶̶h̶̶e̶̶y̶̶'̶̶r̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶l̶̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶e̶̶n̶̶t̶̶a̶̶n̶̶g̶̶l̶̶e̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶i̶̶t̶̶h̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶n̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶o̶̶r̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶n̶̶,̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶n̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶r̶̶o̶̶u̶̶b̶̶l̶̶e̶̶s̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶e̶̶x̶̶,̶̶ ̶̶e̶̶t̶̶c̶̶ ̶̶e̶̶t̶̶c̶̶.̶̶ ̶̶T̶̶h̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶d̶̶e̶̶c̶̶i̶̶s̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶r̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶o̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶a̶̶k̶̶e̶̶.̶
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by stevups(m): 8:43am On Mar 07, 2020
thorpido:
There was a guy on one thread one time that made a wonderful comment about 'old midnight newspaper men' and their weariness to settle down.

You didn't take your time enough to study this guy and see he's just a player/non-committal guy.He showed signs of unseriouness from the beginning.
I will advise you to move on.This guy really doesn't want to settle and definitely won't settle for you.
Block his calls.Stop calling him.Block him on social media.It will hurt for a few days but you will get over it Better than just giving free kpekus to a guy who won't marry you and you are 27yrs already.

If she does that the prayer of the man is answered already, because he doesn't want to see her again
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Alagboo: 8:44am On Mar 07, 2020
Edenx:
My experience in life have thought me not the judge or give an opinion in a matter unless you hear from both sides , people are experts these days on how to sound very right and perfect to gather sympathy, in most cases you will be shocked when you hear the submission from the other party.For instance she said they both contribute 50-50 to the relationship but at the same time she's giving the impression that's he's stingy,she says he's gentle and motivates but she's stubborn but quick to forgive. What I've seen here is the girl toning down her own bad attitude and embellishing the bad side of the guy so she can be seen to be good and attract sympathy. Babe if you think he's not good enough for you walk away it's ur loss or gain ,no one here can really experience what u are passing through like you do
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 8:46am On Mar 07, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine.[/b]Though he claims he's not doing it again.
SUPER BIG RED FLAG!

4.[b] From the look of things he's still searching[/b]while he wants to have me all to himself.Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.
[b]You are dating while he's SINGLE!


5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.
This is not 50-50, you're at a 1000000% LOSS!

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.
Ok, this part made my day
7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.
if he saw a future in you he will invest(spend) on you
8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him.[/b]Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.
[b] did he charm you

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.
relationship is for two not one
10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.
if you continue you will soon go through mental stress

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.
no matter how good a man is if he doesn't see a future with you he's not good for you

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.
OK, you go hear am

MY CONCLUSION: ODÉ GIDI NÍ É you have wasted 7 or 5 years on a dead end, a 70year old man in our area just gave birth few weeks ago while a 50year old woman can't even dream of conceiving again. Do you know some women reach menopause early? Do you know your BF is still a young man while you are fast becoming a grandma? Do you know he'll dump you one he find his Mrs Right? Do you know you are only there to serve his Pénis and feed his ego for the moment and not for lifetime?

MY ADVICE: stay the fúck away from him and move the fúck on

PS: I used strong and abusive languages cause you said it will open your brain.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by EngineerOloye: 8:47am On Mar 07, 2020
Johnson5258:
This is indeed great but i advise you to discuss with maybe your pastor or Imam. A man that hasn't sit to plan his life at 40 is who you're talking about here, Madam I hope you want to see you succeed in your life? Is it pension he wants to use to pay school fees? Meanwhile, I believe you haven't been having sex with him not to talk of abortion.

The lady is already manifesting signs of low self esteem. Nothing can be ruled out at this stage of a 5years struggle to keep him to herself.

The way I see it, her kpekus already has the guys phone number, and is the one making all the calls. Her post here is one of the few times her own inner desperation cries out and I pray she is saved.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Candycrushy(f): 8:49am On Mar 07, 2020
PrimadonnaO:


God should help you do what? To learn how to stay in a relationship for up to 5 years?
Better unpray that prayer. What are two mature adults dating for more than two years for?
Lol...i didn't really mean it in that angle..i actually meant that God should help me not stay in a rlship that long with any guy before marriage ...
I cant stay that long myself, its gonna be a boredom..lol

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by femmoy(m): 8:50am On Mar 07, 2020
sisisioge:
Chai! Biko leave him alone and go find yours! That guy is a no gooder for you biko. Before you know it, he will turn you into " I dated a guy for 10yrs"! I did baby...so take it from a veteran and run grin grin grin

ur comment kept me laughing,do you or have u ever worked with a Chinese before?
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Duru009(m): 8:54am On Mar 07, 2020
The way you are replying comments and defending him, it seems you love this guy till death. What a pity!.

I pray to God to open your eyes for you to see, you are totally spiritually blind.......

What a stupid life !!

1 Like

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