₦airaland Forum

WeRblessed:
First of all, the most friendliest people to ever come across on American campuses are Nigerians.

It's a blatant lie that they didn't want to associate with you because you're 'fresh out off boat'.

Everything you said is quite a huge lie and exaggerated.

You will not judge other Nigerians based on your experience with perhaps a small community college somewhere in America.

I have a lot of Nigeria friends. In fact, had quite a lot of them when I was still in college, even at medical school. They had great experiences in American college campuses. They had boyfriends of which some of them are married to their boyfriends today. Not all Nigerian college student come from a rich and influential family. Just to oppose what you said.

Another big fat freaking lie is where you said by the time they are 25 the guys they rejected at 22 are now making 7 figures. Where exactly in America are graduates with three years experience making 6 figures talkless of 7 figures? Are you insane? Even most surgeons with 20 years experience don't even make 6 figures talkless of a fresh graduate. If you are able to make $35,000 a year for at least three years just thank God.

I don't know who you are and what you are trying to achieve by writing this. Your write ups are totally exaggerated lies. Please do your research on Nigerian international students in America. Conduct your study and research from at least ten campuses and cities about Nigerian students-life in America before making your conclusive statements that is based on your own personal experience.

Nigerian students are not lonely. You are in college to study and work if you are available to work off campus or work-study on campus. It's not a Nigerian campus or college where some people's aim of going to college is to make boyfriends and hang around sugar daddies.

American college is real! What you write is what you get. No one has time to fool around after huge financial aid one took to study. No time to sleep around on campus when majority of them are studying and working part time or fulltime while maintaining their good GPAs.

If you got into American college with the mindset of making boyfriend/girlfriend, lover, talkless of marriage you are the biggest joker of the century. Do that sh#t in Nigeria.

Average American college student graduates at the age of 22 or 23. They get a job and start a career before talking about marriage. Some might want to go to graduate school or medical school, but Americans dont waste their money chasing a master degree or PhD while they dont have a good paying job first. They dont even give a hute about masters or PhD. Only Nigerians do care about them without first getting a job experience and skills. I finished my four year degree at the age of 21.

My point is that Nigerian students in America should focus on their studies. But they are not lonely.

A typical Nigerian girl. Very defensive. It’s true that Nigerians most especially the men are very friendly. I have never seen a friendly Nigerian girl.

I finished my uni at 21 also and I had gfs. Please, you girls are narcissistic and should stop looking down on men.

Our younger ones are coming of age and people like u should not spoil them. We must upholding culture and respect people.

SocialJustice:
Lol, support in the kitchen indeed. Patriarchy is a really fancy word. If she can't cook she should say so, don't expect me to wash plate or do any crazy shore. Why won't it be like that when men instead of supporting their wives to succeed while she takes care of him, instead try to make her cook, cleaner and still expect her to carry on financial responsibilities. Some guys are just shameless.

I intend to marry a white lady when I find the chance and finance to run my post graduate degrees. No woman should expect me to assist her in the kitchen unless it is to eat. It is her exclusive duty to cook for me, if she's too tired to then she can chill and shouldn't cook under duress. She's not my 50:50 partner. I am the head of the union and she's there to help the head succeed while the head provides protection.

This 50:50 partnership is the reason Western societies are so dysfunctional at the family unit.

Everybody should practise what works best for them. My wife can't be my 50:50 partner and I don't even have to say it for her to know. If she's not cool with it while we're dating, she can move on.

Not true


Western societies are dysfunctional in some ways like you rightly said
But the African society is just as dysfunctional, just that while the western world admit to theirs, black man will never admit that his society is just as fvcked.


The key to running a successful family in my opinion is doing what works for you and your spouse by agreement
Like my grandmother of blessed memory will say
Different shoe for different shoe size.

50/50 cannot work for everyone

The traditional system cannot work for everyone either

Worl out what works for you
And make adjustments when you see things derailing

That's a concept many black men in Nigeria dont get

wickyyolo:
A typical Nigerian girl. Very defensive. It’s true that Nigerians most especially the men are very friendly. I have never seen a friendly Nigerian girl.

I finished my uni at 21 also and I had gfs. Please, you girls are narcissistic and should stop looking down on men.

Our younger ones are coming of age and people like u should not spoil them. We must upholding culture and respect people.

You can't blame them, their fathers are the reason they have very high standards. Nigerian men of back in the days are different from the ones we have today. Will their fathers approve of you, when they introduce you to him is the question?

Kennedyiheme02:
patriarchy is universal bro... there are traditional white women... even the red necks are traditional people... there are lots of conservative americans... where did you get this idea that a woman cooking for her husband is an african thing?.. even animals have hierarchy

Patriarchy is universal......



But it's to varying degrees across the world

You cant compare a Nigerian's idea of patriarchy (which btw is many times repugnant) to that of say a white conservative Christian in Kentucky

While this Kentucky bobo will base his own on bible principles
Nigerian man own na zig zag
He will use bible to defend one part
Then when the bible show him roadblock
He will switch to traditional
And to his personal views later.



You know its true

Meeyankee:
Size noise hypocrites You people hate the truth. Look at the way you were dancing azonto to the other thread because the lady be Dey support owner. I experience this same thing in Russian.this owner character of always wanting a standard man.. imagine person go Russian girl the girl go happy talk to person but when you try to talk to one Nigeria she go Dey form .

Size what?

Crispels:
Lol. No vex. I’m only trying to share my experience. I know a lot of people will find it helpful. I also found the previous threads helpful - so I decided to also add to the conversation.

I liked the way U present ur perspective unlike the other guy from Canada painting everything negative on the guys over there. Kudos op.
My question is, according to experience U have gathered, what's the general perception of other national on Nigerians when its comes behaviour and good conduct? On a scale of 1-10.

Ariza:
Size what?

I want you to give your noise small size because you noise to big for this forum .cut you noise to small size.

ProtectMyMoney:
You must also get to the kitchen - do the dishes, wash the meat, clean the tables and even cook some food as well! Everything is 50-50 in America!!! Your wife(or even girlfriend) is not your slave and it’s high time most Nigerian guys(even those based in Ibadan, Uyo, Kano and Enugu) start realizing this.

WE NEED TO TREAT OUR WOMEN LIKE QUEENS, JEWELS AND SUPPORT THEM IN THE KITCHEN, THEIR CAREERS AND IN EVERY OTHER AREA.



Just as Indians and Chinese have their culture and and tradition for centuries, they do not change it for anybody where ever they go in any country
Nigerians are used to changing their culture and tradition to adopt other peoples way of life in other countries.

That is why you are already seeing our women as slave like you mentioned above.


It is not a Nigerian man's way of life, Ibadan, Uyo, Kano, Enugu etc to be getting to the kitchen, washing plates, etc etc like you mentioned.

My indian friends will disagree with you

Dunno about Chinese sha.

My man
When you are in a new place

You cannot carry out your cultural practice as you came from 100%

That's what is putting arabs out of place and confused in continental Europe.

Some ground will have to shift here and there

Even tho it's not also wise to throw your own way of life out of the window in totality

Adjustments can always be made by two understanding people in a relationship


I read on Twitter in 2018 when a man in the diaspora is the house husband while the wife is the principal breadwinner because of her field

He does side jobs once in a while and take care of the kids at home while the wife brings most of the paper


Everybody was just abusing him

While I wont do that myself
If that system works for you
Fine

African man biggest doing is his rigidity

Meeyankee:
I want you to give your noise small size because you noise to big for this forum .cut you noise to small size.

Lame.

safarigirl:
exactly.

Female help, preferably someone in her forties. Comes in the morning, just after everyone leaves for work, leaves within hours, before everyone is back.

Some people hire cleaning companies to do their chores while they are away. So many things that can be made easier, are unnecessarily made complicated.

Couples that should be spending scarce time, to enjoy each other's company, especially when kids are in the mix, will be using it to argue who sweep, who no sweep, who go cook, who no gocook. By the end of the day, everyone is exhausted, when will such a couple spend quality time? In their dreams?

Marriages are becoming strained because priorities are being messed up, little things are getting so much unnecessary attention, while important stuff is ignored

I see no reasons why couple shud argue about stupid things like who cooks or clean or sweeps. Unless they are both immature or don't understand themselves.

My dad wanted my mum to be a full stay at home wife bt she didn't want that and for awhile when having kids she was and we still had house helps like 2 or 3 bt yet he goes to the kitchen and cooks smtmes cos he enjoyed cooking and supporting. So this has more to do with good communication than excuses. Also upbringing of the 2 individuals matter and maybe work schedules.

好的

Savage

heartofcity12:
Cheap, desperate. Help is what u need not relationship. We should stop mixing help with love or relationship. How can you say that you’re ready to date or marry someone that u haven’t met or converse with? Which kind of yahoo is this one?

Aren’t there good men around u that u can date and grow with if a relationship/ marriage is truly what u want? I’m even sure that you have a boyfriend. What about those good Muslim brothers that u have been rejecting? U dey find man to use as a ladder of upgrade ba? Gold digger. Later y’all complain about been abused and about how men are scum because you have ignored the men truly meant for u while u keep running after those that will never care about you.

Seek for help not relationship if help is what u want. You lots condemn men all the time and can not do anything for any man but always expect men to save your lives. Mtchhw.

Crispels:
Wow! What an experience you’ve had. I honestly admit the fact that some Nigerian guys here have a history of messing up women which is terribly bad. They always think it’s smartness but to me it’s wickedness. They only make things difficult for innocent people. I’m sorry about all that happened sis and I pray you get to heal from all of these. There are innocent Nigerian guys who would forever appreciate this kind of support from a Nigerian babe but with stories like that - they will find it difficult. Nigerian men needs to do better. Many Naija guys here have messed up with black American women in the name of settling down/green cards and that has also not really been helpful to our image out there. If you don’t like someone or you don’t see a wife in such person, just let her be! COMMON!!!!!

Although, I’ve also seen cases where Naija guys filed for the green cards of their babes from Naija - only for these babes to turn against them after they got what they wanted. Some of them even got divorced and the guys were ruined forever. We all need to do better.

In the whole of these discussions I have seen that we really have people who are good natured, have great concern for their own people and others generally.

OP wish many both home and abroad will have your kind of heart and mind, @heavenlyCherub is another good hearted Darling out there and I believe there are many more like you. It's that the selfish ones are the loudest and tend to draw all the attention to themselves in the end doing great disservice to those with genuine intentions.

If a bad stereotype has been put out there working against you and your people, it behooves you and I to work hard to correct it. Unfortunately those frustrating all efforts to fix it don't blow the care, so they keep ruining everything and a lot of innocents keep paying the price.

I feel this article/write up by OP and similar discourse should be part of some form of periodic seminar, orientation that our diaspora groups should be encouraging.

You guys there should really seek all avenues to help work on improving our image there please.

God bless you

fujirice:
Op, it breaks my heart that you’d talk about cultural differences and in the same breath call our culture “stupid” just because you live abroad.
If we so much respect western cultures no matter how warped they may be, why do we treat ours with so much disdain?
Will talking down and berating our culture make us more western than the westerners themselves?
I am not happy with you for referring to our culture as stupid just because we say a woman makes and keeps a home. It kind of watered down all the things you wrote there for me.
Let’s learn to accord everyone their due respects.
Thank you.

In one line
You are pained that he called African culture

And in another line

You are calling western culture warped


That's hypocritical of you


Both cultural constructs are warped in their own way

Crispels:
ON A FINAL NOTE:

Dating abroad is totally different from dating in Nigeria. There are lots of cultural differences and you must really understand these differences before shooting any shot - otherwise: you will make terrible mistakes that may ruin your reputation, mental health and growth. You may even be hated and ghosted by certain people. In America for instance, dating apps is a big deal and things happen so fast - compared to Nigeria where on the average, things take longer.

If you are a Nigerian guy and you think it is the sole responsibility of your girlfriend(wife) to cook and take care of the family - then your stupi**d patriarchy mentality will fail you big time abroad.
Most Nigerian - American girls dislike some Nigerian guys (particularly those who grew up in Nigeria) due to this kind of patriarchy and “male dominance” mentality. Many Nigerian - American girls as a result of strong upbringing by their families can cook really well(even our egusi and other Naija food) but they will hate you if you make it look like it’s their responsibility to cook for you all the time. You must also get to the kitchen - do the dishes, wash the meat, clean the tables and even cook some food as well! Everything is 50-50 in America!!! Your wife(or even girlfriend) is not your slave and it’s high time most Nigerian guys(even those based in Ibadan, Uyo, Kano and Enugu) start realizing this.

WE NEED TO TREAT OUR WOMEN LIKE QUEENS, JEWELS AND SUPPORT THEM IN THE KITCHEN, THEIR CAREERS AND IN EVERY OTHER AREA.

I was born in Nigeria, I had all my education in Nigeria, yet I still share house chores with my partner. One does not need to travel to know how to do the right thing. It's just common sense. Leaving all the chores to one person may be too much and tiring....

HeavenlyCherub:
Honestly I think you have good points in your paragraphs. I agree that as women we shouldn’t single out every man who isn’t walking in their purpose at that given time. However I would never advise anyone to settle.

Some of the financially challenged/student men who come to the US, a very large percentage have taken advantage of good women all in the name of love. I can only use myself as an example. I have dated guys who weren’t stable financially so I can only try help my fellow sisters.


Man 1: Yoruba guy - I dated him for 5 years. Great guy however refused to self improve. He did yahoo. I found out about it and tried to make him stop and do legit as I wouldn’t want our foundation built on potential blood money. He refused a legit job and informed me he knew “the life he wanted for himself and 9 to 5 was not it.” This is because he was consumed by lifestyle and driving range rovers and a Porsche’s. I stuck with him for love but I refused to marry him or his proposal as he didn’t believe in taking care of a woman. He was very selfish (during the course of a 5 year relationship this man never gave me any assistance for upkeep - mind you I didn’t need his money as I do very well for myself but every woman wants their man to be able to support and provide in small ways. This shows me you’re stable and can support our family should we hit hard times. He would always ask me why I need money and what I do with the money I earn. $10 to buy a panty he could not even do, but he stayed embellished in Gucci, LV and Prada. He also had a baby on me and begged me to raise the child with him if it was his after dna...I was scared toput myself in that position as a time when I have to depend on him will come and he would not man up as he should so I broke it off. He proposed I said no. . No way I can submit to a man like that?..

Man 2: was an international student, the devil himself in human form, they say respect them, support them and let them reach goals.. this guy I supported financially for months, paved a way for him to get his paperwork.. loved and supported. He was nice at first but when we started dating he started changing. Abusing me for not giving 5k usd and not wanting to marry him for green card... I thank God for protecting me from that one chance. He is the biggest regret and bad mistake I ever made in my life. So disheartening you support someone and they physically, verbally abuse you and blame you for the wrong going on in their life... read my story on my profile from 2 years ago for more context Note: I myself am not perfect and I’m constantly working on self improving and strengthening my bond with Christ. I’m big on giving advice to others so they won’t repeat the same mistakes I have made.

My aunt always told me never to date down. Never settle and I did. All the women waiting...wait for Gods time don’t force or rush things because you want to get married. You will end up with someone who puts baggage on you and breaks you emotionally, physically, financially etc. Let Go and Let God. If it’s his will for your life it will be. Don’t leave worse off then you started.

I also have a friend she married someone coming straight from naija. They lived as man and wife 3 years. He got his green card and went back to Nigeria to marry his real girlfriend.

I truly dislike when men put down women like this post. Marriage is not an accomplishment. It will be nice to find a compatible companion but sister- you are enough as you are. Don’t let anyone rush you. Some are happy but many more want to get out of the marriage you are rushing to. Be wise and Let God lead.

Pray for God to give you discernment. Marriage is life and that’s a long journey. Don’t end up with the wrong person because of societal pressure and advice from OP above. I have said my own

I like ur post bt i must immediately correct u on some wrong assumptions and explain the reason u had sm issues with ur past relationships.

U see, we are our choices. The choice u make sums up to who u are. Sm of these choices are influenced by our knowledge base, who we listen to and what we read, watch and basically consume.


I hear sm gals saying this op is bashing gals and I ask how?? Sm then say naija guys are terrible they did this and that and I say fine that was terrible bt shud how sm1 treated u in the past be reason to loose ur manners I mean every single one of ur manners

Based on the ops story he approached them for clear reasons like advice and how to find his way arround. NOW how shud this questions be an issue for a right thinking humanbeing He didn't beat arround the Bush with flattery or any thing so why not be a civil humanbeing? Ok they have been hurt that's why bt when he finds he way around thanks to kind forigener same people want to identify with u are they ok at all This is Simply BAD MANNERS and it will follow u where ever u go. It has nothing to do with what any body did to u if not why come back to same guy later on.

There is no reason to be disrespectful I don't care who broke ur heart in a thousand pieces. Sm1 making enquires has nothing to do with ur heart unless ure stupid.

Also ur Aunt telling u not to marry down has given u a terrible advice YES! Cos she just told in the wrong yardstick to look out for. What the meaning of don't marry down? I know it's Financial reasons mostly as some don't play with their money to a selfish level. Bt then looking at ur 1st relationship with the yahoo boy he was financially ok so how did u marry/date down here The fact is there are attributed u must look for in a man bt u gals fail woefully to see these particular attributes for various reasons we have discussed here already.

Now why ur relationship failed from from my limited knowledge of what u wrote is u seemed desprate and didn't have good and quick judgement of people. How can u stay 5 years with a yahoo boy and be waiting for what exactly to happen? He wasn't caring at all and u stuck, who's fault is that? Definitely not ur bf or any other guys fault bt urs. Take responsibility for ur choices.

Marriage is not Mandatory I completely agree bt i will never underestimate it either. Make the right choices in ur relationship and u shud end up in a good place.

heartofcity12:
Cheap, desperate. Help is what u need not relationship. We should stop mixing help with love or relationship. How can you say that you’re ready to date or marry someone that u haven’t met or converse with? Which kind of yahoo is this one?

Aren’t there good men around u that u can date and grow with if a relationship/ marriage is truly what u want? I’m even sure that you have a boyfriend. What about those good Muslim brothers that u have been rejecting? U dey find man to use as a ladder of upgrade ba? Gold digger. Later y’all complain about been abused and about how men are scum because you have ignored the man truly meant for u while u keep running after those that will never care about you.

Seek for help not relationship if help is what u want. You lots condemn men all the time and can not do anything for any man but always expect men to save your lives. Mtchhw.

Don't hurt yourself with all this biko.

Believe me at your own peril....


Shior

Crispels:
Lol. Not all black Americans are like that tho. I have great black American friends. The problem is: so many Nigerian immigrants come here “extremely hungry for success” and they end up achieving a lot within a short time - which sometimes lead to tension between immigrants from Africa and native black Americans. They believe we are taking their positions in America after our ancestors sold them during slave trade and that we didn’t experience the difficulties they experienced - slavery, fight for civil rights and stuff like that.

Many Nigerians abroad are also too loud as well - they tend to show off their landmark successes and some now have the mentality that “if an average Nigerian can come from a village in Nigeria to become an Engineer or a Millionaire(in dollars) in the US, then any native black American who is struggling to be somebody in life as an American is lazy and unserious”. The black Americans hear and see these things and they feel insulted that after we(not us but our ancestors tho) sold them to slavery, we still have the effrontery to come to America to ride them anyhow we like. They believe Nigerians thrive in America because they made it possible for us: they are the ones who fought for equality in the US and stuff like that.

That is why many black Americans feel weird when some statistics show that over 77% of black doctors in the US are Nigerians and that majority of the blacks being admitted to ivy League schools are Nigerians and Nigerian - Americans. They feel that we are reaping where we did not sow and many of our fellow Nigerians are also not humble enough about their successes. They blow their trumpets so loud that it invites envy from black Americans and even immigrants from other African countries.

About two months ago, I was in Washington DC when one of my professors(who is a White American) confessed to a diverse gathering of people that Nigerians are very smart, hard working and talented(I was the only Nigerian there). Immediately after my professor said it, one other African immigrant there began to feel uncomfortable and she had to say it publicly that “Nigerians have not done or achieved enough to earn the hype people have for them in America”. I just smiled and kept quiet. I’ve learned not to be too loud about myself in the US because when they see that you are moving faster than them, they may begin to see you as a threat and plot bad things toward you. Many Nigerians abroad also need to learn this - it’s better to be humble and not make noise about your achievements.


In the end, as a Nigerian in the US, I do not have any superiority or inferiority complex towards anyone - regardless of race,nationality, sex, orientation or social status. In fact, it saddens my heart when I see African immigrants and black Africans having misunderstandings. The reason being that: these black Americans are also our brothers and sisters if we want to be true to ourselves. All my black American friends have Nigerian DNA. In fact, some of them are over 87% Nigerians(according to the results of their ancestry/DNA test). So, I see no reason why we all(black Americans, Nigerians, Nigerian -Americans, all African immigrants) cannot love each other and support ourselves.

Many Nigerians and Nigerian -Americans need to be more humble about their phenomenal successes as well albeit people should not try to downplay the immense efforts, pains, sacrifices, hard work and drive that most Nigerians abroad pour into life to achieve great things.


[/b]Finally, we all should not dwell in the past. We cannot change what happened during the slave trade - it was an unfortunate incidence but that is now history. More so, we were not the ones that sold them into slavery and not all African immigrants have condescending opinions about black Americans. Majority of us love them and we see them as a part of us. African immigrants should see black Americans as their brothers and sisters, vice versa. We all need to work together and put our differences/biases aside. [b]

IN THE END, WE ARE ALL AFRICANS! ONE LOVE!!!

hmm,,
That is seriously disturbing,
I have plans of living this country as soon as I finish my bsc.
I am studying building and can/have single handedly roofed and fixed POP ceiling.
Not even the man I did it for could believe his eyes,
It took me 6weeks though.
Now with this your analysis and observations
Na kill them go just kill me
Because I use more strength than normal workers do, to work
Kai this my abroad dream self

missimelda01:
But wait, why is love and relationship this complicated? If you're in Nigeria, problem.. out of Nigeria, problem :-

In the midst of all this brouahah, there's still someone out there meant for you.

I'm in France, I've experienced this too. Nigerian ladies form too much, I didn't put much thought about it but now they've written something about it I believe it's true. The French ladies are so free with us, at the end of the day Oyibo man no like una because you Nigerian ladies are so ugly to them.

List of 13 Nigerian Kill By Coronavirus In Abroad


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYhqUgZO9hs

Charleys:
I'm in France, I've experienced this too. Nigerian ladies form too much, I didn't put much thought about it but now they've written something about it I believe it's true. The French ladies are so free with us, at the end of the day Oyibo man no like una because you Nigerian ladies are so ugly to them.

Oh Chim, I'm not ugly please.

missimelda01:
Oh Chim, I'm not ugly please.

the truth is you women go there to look for white men, we know.
Same thing with us looking for foreign women too.

But no come dey form give your brother for foreign land. Like say we no know what's up.

safarigirl:
I wasn't trying to be savage.

I was stating a truth I would rather not dabble further into. Funny enough, Nairaland guys have been part of the terrible experiences I have had.

Madam am not part of the so called Nairaland guys,so don't generalize all of us because u will trivialize the whole thing.
Hey there,I saw the next write up beneath your comment.
Talking Internet foolishness, one stupidity at a time.

yassinattah:
Madam am not part of the so called Nairaland guys,so don't generalize all of us because u will trivialize the whole thing.
Hey there,I saw the next write up beneath your comment.
Talking Internet foolishness, one stupidity at a time.

I did not generalize. I did not say all Nairaland guys and I did not say anything about you. I don't know how you came up with this generalizations thing, because there is no generalization in any part of my comment.

The internet foolishness line is not even part of my post, it is a signature and it is always there, as long as I don't edit my profile. Are you new on Nairaland, or you don't know what signatures are?

DexterousOne:
In one line
You are pained that he called African culture

And in another line

You are calling western culture warped


That's hypocritical of you


Both cultural constructs are warped in their own way

Don’t rush to reply, cool down and read what I wrote, digest it then edit your reply.
Thank you

These "I'm a man and the woman must cook" fools really hijacked this thread to dump their dumb red pill garbage.

These idiots

need external confirmation of what is inherent, they ecstatically gag and choke on tradition created by dead folks. They are mentally impaired to understand how much the world has changed, changing.
They represent everything that's hated in humans especially ones who sense a bit of power and misappropriate the privilege.

These kind of people have nothing to offer, just rotten exchange that would make your inside turn, literally. Marry one of these and you'll curse the you were born.

Charleys:
the truth is you women go there to look for white men, we know.
Same thing with us looking for foreign women too.

But no come dey form give your brother for foreign land. Like say we no know what's up.

I get you, the thing is both genders have certain expectations of how foreign people should treat them, but they could be wrong some times.

HeavenlyCherub:
Why do they do this?

To make her look very unappealing and unattractive, in order to discourage her from nursing any future ambition of cheating on him or divorce. They do this to prevent her from divorcing him in the future.

Blyzz:
I want to know you. Good morning!

Sorry, my heart is closed. I already have somebody in my life.

scoundrel:
Sorry, my heart is closed. I already have somebody in my life.

Wow, your heart is closed. Well, it okay. I like sincerity. Thumbs up!

fujirice:
Don’t rush to reply, cool down and read what I wrote, digest it then edit your reply.
Thank you

I read your post

And what I said you did is what you did

You were not happy he painted African way the way he did

And st the same time tagged another's way of life as warped


African way of life is not a total write off
Tho It needs some modification here and there

But no call another man way warped if you think your own is not warped

That's my point

DexterousOne:
Patriarchy is universal......



But it's to varying degrees across the world

You cant compare a Nigerian's idea of patriarchy (which btw is many times repugnant) to that of say a white conservative Christian in Kentucky

While this Kentucky bobo will base his own on bible principles
Nigerian man own na zig zag
He will use bible to defend one part
Then when the bible show him roadblock
He will switch to traditional
And to his personal views later.



You know its true

a conservativd woman in Kentucky cooks for her husband, yes or no?

She does the laundry yes or no?

She cleans the house yes or no?

She takes care of her kids yes or no?...

You're in some fantasy land.. is there any difference?.. the only difference between a traditional american woman and a nigerian one is the american woman knows her role well and can't be convinced by a movement called feminism that breeds old ugly 40+ year old women who've been ran over by alot of men and have like 500 body counts fo their names... protesting for equality they can't explain