missimelda01:
But wait, why is love and relationship this complicated? If you're in Nigeria, problem.. out of Nigeria, problem

In the midst of all this brouahah, there's still someone out there meant for you.

Hahahahaa, so some people still believe in this shitt!?... No one is meant for anyone its all a horseshitt lie, it's all about managing someone more compatible with you, people should wise up!, I pray you meet that one meant for you, with time you'll know better that's it's someone to "manage" not "mean't" for you.

SweetCunt97:
Yes! Nigerian men need to drop that male dominance bullshit. You both can't be working and you expect her to slave away in the kitchen all by herself while you watch television.. No no no.

Anyways, we'll get there some day, afterall the west had male dominance some decades ago before the rise of feminism breaking their women free from the shackles of male dominated oppression.

Assuming without conceding that you can cook well, do you have anything substantial you can contribute in a civil relationship as the wife?

jaxxy:



I like it post bt i must immediately correct u on some wrong assumptions and explain the reason u had sm issues with ur past relationships.

U see, we are our choices. The choice u make sums up to who u are. Sm of these choices are influenced by our knowledge base, who we listen to and what we read, watch and basically consume.


I hear sm gals saying this op is bashing gals and I ask how?? Sm then say naija guys are terrible they did this and that and I say fine that was terrible bt shud how sm1 treated u in the past be reason to loose ur manners I mean every single one of ur manners

Based on the ops story he approached them for clear reasons like advice and how to find his way arround. NOW how shud this questions be an issue for a right thinking humanbeing He didn't beat arround the Bush with flattery or any thing so why not be a civil humanbeing? Ok they have been hurt that's why bt when he finds he way around thanks to kind forigener same people want to identify with u are they ok at all This is Simply BAD MANNERS and it will follow u where ever u go. It has nothing to do with what any body did to u if not why come back to same guy later on.

There is no reason to be disrespectful I don't care who broke ur heart in a thousand pieces. Sm1 making enquires has nothing to do with ur heart unless ure stupid.

Also ur Aunt telling u not to marry down has given u a terrible advice YES! Cos she just told in the wrong yardstick to look out for. What the meaning of don't marry down? I know it's Financial reasons mostly as some don't play with their money to a selfish level. Bt then looking at ur 1st relationship with the yahoo boy he was financially ok so how did u marry/date down here The fact is there are attributed u must look for in a man bt u gals fail woefully to see these particular attributes for various reasons we have discussed here already.

Now why ur relationship failed from from my limited knowledge of what u wrote is u seemed desprate and didn't have good and quick judgement of people. How can u stay 5 years with a yahoo boy and be waiting for what exactly to happen? He wasn't caring at all and u stuck, who's fault is that? Definitely not ur bf or any other guys fault bt urs. Take responsibility for ur choices.

Marriage is not Mandatory I completely agree bt i will never underestimate it either. Make the right choices in ur relationship and u shud end up in a good place.

I’m sorry if you feel I have been disrespectful in any sense. I don’t come on this platform to make any enemies and don’t let my perspectives ruin your day.

The problem with a lot of men as you have proved by insulting me numerous times above.. calling me stupid etc. is that some men don’t like to communicate. When you tell them your feelings they say you are being aggressive.

Yes I’m not blaming anyone. I don’t want sympathy from anyone. I take full accountability for dating men that had potential and were not materializing that potential. I will never date potential and I put myself in that position because I was truly in search for love.

Money is not everything. I was raised in money so it does not scare me. Before you say I’m money hungry, or trying to show off. My father is wealthy- multi millionaire in usd. I am also doing very well on my own without support from my parents.It’s not the money I was after but love. I just wanted a man who is consistent, honest and loyal at the time I didn’t care where he was in life. But I can’t keep making the same mistakes.

My ex who did yahoo. Although he had money here and there in dry seasons he would expect me to help him with money. He would spend all his money on cars and clothing and expect me to bail him out when he has lavished the money. To this day my ex still owes me money. Hmmm financial responsibility is so important in a marriage. If you can’t plan how to use the resources as a single man. How will you take care of a wife and child?

ojun50:
Op

We are more concern about Covid 19 increasing in Nigeria...later we will come back to discuss this after the borders have been open.

Thank you...

We all knw say Nigerian girls get problem both home and abroad

Really? Are u serious? Nigerian men are lucky because men go out to hunt the opposite specie. Look ! With my training as a Nigerian lady I have nt seen any black American man that likes me that doesnt want to settle down with me. But Nigerian men can piss u off. Yuck!

Crispels:


Lol. Not all black Americans are like that tho. I have great black American friends. The problem is: so many Nigerian immigrants come here “extremely hungry for success” and they end up achieving a lot within a short time - which sometimes lead to tension between immigrants from Africa and native black Americans. They believe we are taking their positions in America after our ancestors sold them during slave trade and that we didn’t experience the difficulties they experienced - slavery, fight for civil rights and stuff like that.

Many Nigerians abroad are also too loud as well - they tend to show off their landmark successes and some now have the mentality that “if an average Nigerian can come from a village in Nigeria to become an Engineer or a Millionaire(in dollars) in the US, then any native black American who is struggling to be somebody in life as an American is lazy and unserious”. The black Americans hear and see these things and they feel insulted that after we(not us but our ancestors tho) sold them to slavery, we still have the effrontery to come to America to ride them anyhow we like. They believe Nigerians thrive in America because they made it possible for us: they are the ones who fought for equality in the US and stuff like that.

That is why many black Americans feel weird when some statistics show that over 77% of black doctors in the US are Nigerians and that majority of the blacks being admitted to ivy League schools are Nigerians and Nigerian - Americans. They feel that we are reaping where we did not sow and many of our fellow Nigerians are also not humble enough about their successes. They blow their trumpets so loud that it invites envy from black Americans and even immigrants from other African countries.

About two months ago, I was in Washington DC when one of my professors(who is a White American) confessed to a diverse gathering of people that Nigerians are very smart, hard working and talented(I was the only Nigerian there). Immediately after my professor said it, one other African immigrant there began to feel uncomfortable and she had to say it publicly that “Nigerians have not done or achieved enough to earn the hype people have for them in America”. I just smiled and kept quiet. I’ve learned not to be too loud about myself in the US because when they see that you are moving faster than them, they may begin to see you as a threat and plot bad things toward you. Many Nigerians abroad also need to learn this - it’s better to be humble and not make noise about your achievements.


In the end, as a Nigerian in the US, I do not have any superiority or inferiority complex towards anyone - regardless of race,nationality, sex, orientation or social status. In fact, it saddens my heart when I see African immigrants and black Africans having misunderstandings. The reason being that: these black Americans are also our brothers and sisters if we want to be true to ourselves. All my black American friends have Nigerian DNA. In fact, some of them are over 87% Nigerians(according to the results of their ancestry/DNA test). So, I see no reason why we all(black Americans, Nigerians, Nigerian -Americans, all African immigrants) cannot love each other and support ourselves.

Many Nigerians and Nigerian -Americans need to be more humble about their phenomenal successes as well albeit people should not try to downplay the immense efforts, pains, sacrifices, hard work and drive that most Nigerians abroad pour into life to achieve great things.


[/b]Finally, we all should not dwell in the past. We cannot change what happened during the slave trade - it was an unfortunate incidence but that is now history. More so, we were not the ones that sold them into slavery and not all African immigrants have condescending opinions about black Americans. Majority of us love them and we see them as a part of us. African immigrants should see black Americans as their brothers and sisters, vice versa. We all need to work together and put our differences/biases aside. [b]

IN THE END, WE ARE ALL AFRICANS! ONE LOVE!!!

Ithis is so true. The friction between is is too much. Anyway I am planning to marry one black American guy . They can be crazy though but very loyal. If u see one going after u just learn him as school. They are nice. I love my guy

safarigirl:


I did not generalize. I did not say all Nairaland guys and I did not say anything about you. I don't know how you came up with this generalizations thing, because there is no generalization in any part of my comment.

The internet foolishness line is not even part of my post, it is a signature and it is always there, as long as I don't edit my profile. Are you new on Nairaland, or you don't know what signatures are?

okay oo,If truly that's ur picture on ur profile and you want to fly outside,May the lord be with you.
Its just so unfortunate that a beautiful melanin lady if truly its you on that profile has been so unlucky with love.
Well sometimes I blame you self because u no go wan follow men with prospects suffer but Instead u ll subject urself to already made men and expect ur heart not to be broken,Its a lie atimes.
Its just so unfortunate.

Kennedyiheme02:
a conservativd woman in Kentucky cooks for her husband, yes or no?

She does the laundry yes or no?

She cleans the house yes or no?

She takes care of her kids yes or no?...

You're in some fantasy land.. is there any differences?.. the o ly difference between a traditional american woman and a nigerian one is the american woman knows her role well and can't be convinced by a movement called feminists that breeds old ugly 40+ year old women who've been ran over by alot of men and have like 500 body counts fo their names... protesting for equality they can't explain

You are the one missing the point

I am not against a woman taking care of her home


There is enormous pride in doing that...
And it is highly commendable because taking care of a home is NOT a punishment as some deluded women see it

I'm talking of the patriarchy part as a concept as understood by different cultures of men

That's my point


All your ramblings at the last paragraph is not necessary



You wannabe red pill fellows I see on NL these days

Nice job

DexterousOne:


You are the one missing the point

I am not against a woman taking care of her home


There is enormous pride in doing that...
And it is highly commendable because taking care of a home is NOT a punishment as some deluded women see it

I'm talking of the patriarchy part as a concept as understood by different cultures of men

That's my point


All your ramblings at the last paragraph is not necessary



You wannabe red pill fellows I see on NL these days

whatw the nigerian concept of patriarchy, and american concept.. explain lets hear

HeavenlyCherub:


I’m sorry if you feel I have been disrespectful in any sense. I don’t come on this platform to make any enemies and don’t let my perspectives ruin your day.

The problem with a lot of men as you have proved by insulting me numerous times above.. calling me stupid etc. is that some men don’t like to communicate. When you tell them your feelings they say you are being aggressive.

Yes I’m not blaming anyone. I don’t want sympathy from anyone. I take full accountability for dating men that had potential and were not materializing that potential. I will never date potential and I put myself in that position because I was truly in search for love.

Money is not everything. I was raised in money so it does not scare me. Before you say I’m money hungry, or trying to show off. My father is wealthy- multi millionaire in usd. I am also doing very well on my own without support from my parents.It’s not the money I was after but love. I just wanted a man who is consistent, honest and loyal at the time I didn’t care where he was in life. But I can’t keep making the same mistakes.

My ex who did yahoo. Although he had money here and there in dry seasons he would expect me to help him with money. He would spend all his money on cars and clothing and expect me to bail him out when he has lavished the money. To this day my ex still owes me money. Hmmm financial responsibility is so important in a marriage. If you can’t plan how to use the resources as a single man. How will you take care of a wife and child?

Ok firstly I wasn't out to Insult u when I used the word stupid. I was referring to the decision making, I also have made stupid decision and to be frank and honest with u I tell my self that was stupid, I shud have done or known better. It's just a self correction thing. So i was in no offensive way trying to Insult u. We all make mistakes bt its very important to learn from them.

Also like i said bases on the limited information I assumed u dated up with ur yahoo bf bt it wasn't the case bt here's the truth. A yahoo boy whilst sm are good and want to do better alot have misplaced their priorities and even their values and dignity. U probably shud have wasted 5 years on such a person asin an unrepentant yahoo boy.

Next ur young upcoming migrant and student. Yes dating down bt was that really the problem? I think not. The Truth is he probably saw u as an easy way to get what he wants and u made it easy for him probably cos u were abit desperate to be in a relationship or just looking for love and he took advantage of that. In searching for love people will take advantage of u and u must be aware of how to spot such people. It's very important and it saves u precious time. They have traits, u will see red flags over and over again. U just need to know how to deal with it and cut it off immediately u spot such.

There is nothing wrong with dating down it just depends on the ideology of the persons involved. Sm people can't handle it and sm can without issues. I refuse to see status as a barrier. U went for potential and I'm sorry for how it went bt there are more checks to look out for be it dating up or down. There are no guarantees. Get to Know those checks.

Lastly why I say gals have no excuse to act mannerlessly the way the op stated is because I don't believe a bad experience shud give u bad manners or attitude, even naija gals who haven't gone through anything behave terrible like it's their culture. That my point.

That is the point naija gal soft pass moimoi na that defensive attitude drive away potential husband. Like we all know its just number game. I left naija 15 years ago never date any Nigerian gal anywhere. White lady appreciate you more than your naija gal rara ooo i no get dat time Dem form pamper pass anything.

Nice one �

HeavenlyCherub:


Why do they do this?

Aside from the fattening pill, there is also this pill called the dumbing-down pill being used by Nigerian men for their spouses. Husbands are now using it to dumb-down their wives who demand for their rights at home and refuse to be trampled upon. And vice versa, wives also use it on their husbands and turn them into zombie houseboys. They lace in on ya food.

At very tiny undetectable doses repeatedly, this pill can impair motor skills and make the person to be docile loosening up their principles, It alters the brain activity of the person slowing it down gradually. It does permanent damage to the brain. It turns a once vibrant intelligent person into a depressive human being that cannot reason properly. People would think that the reason for the person's change in behavior is because the person is just undergoing family pressure and children stress, they would not know that it is a pill at work. The law courts in US only awards child custody to a sane parent not a mentally unstable parent, so using the dumbing down pill is a sure way of winning child custody in court.

I just want to throw this useful piece of information out there, you don't know who is undergoing such now, or who it may help in the future.

HeavenlyCherub:


I’m sorry if you feel I have been disrespectful in any sense. I don’t come on this platform to make any enemies and don’t let my perspectives ruin your day.

The problem with a lot of men as you have proved by insulting me numerous times above.. calling me stupid etc. is that some men don’t like to communicate. When you tell them your feelings they say you are being aggressive.

Yes I’m not blaming anyone. I don’t want sympathy from anyone. I take full accountability for dating men that had potential and were not materializing that potential. I will never date potential and I put myself in that position because I was truly in search for love.

Money is not everything. I was raised in money so it does not scare me. Before you say I’m money hungry, or trying to show off. My father is wealthy- multi millionaire in usd. I am also doing very well on my own without support from my parents.It’s not the money I was after but love. I just wanted a man who is consistent, honest and loyal at the time I didn’t care where he was in life. But I can’t keep making the same mistakes.

My ex who did yahoo. Although he had money here and there in dry seasons he would expect me to help him with money. He would spend all his money on cars and clothing and expect me to bail him out when he has lavished the money. To this day my ex still owes me money. Hmmm financial responsibility is so important in a marriage. If you can’t plan how to use the resources as a single man. How will you take care of a wife and child?

Surprised still seeing this thread on. My Dear I read through your responses again and found where you talk about communication. This is a very vital ingredient to a good relationship. I will ask you this; Did you ever ask them how the communication broke down? Personally I don’t make judgement hearing one side of the story cos if those Guys are here to respond to your submissions, you will be amazed on what they will point out as flaws you had. Every man irrespective of age, class or status have ego and when that ego is bruised a lot goes South.

Happiness is never far away. Look inward and rediscover yourself and the right opportunity will meet you.

I hope this blesses us all?

Love you all!!!!!

DexterousOne:


I read your post

And what I said you did is what you did

You were not happy he painted African way the way he did

And st the same time tagged another's way of life as warped


African way of life is not a total write off
Tho It needs some modification here and there

But no call another man way warped if you think your own is not warped

That's my point

It’s obvious you didn’t comprehend what you are replying to and I’m sorry I can’t help you there.
Bye

Crispels:
I have gone through this thread https://www.nairaland.com/5782313/chai-nigerian-girls-canada-lonely/5 , its comments and the response it got from a Nigerian -Canadian lady. I was able to relate to so many of them - being a Nigerian student in the United States. Hence, the need to give my perspective.


(1). ALMOST ALL “FRESH OFF THE BOAT” IMMIGRANTS ARE LONELY

Contrary to the perception that was created on the other thread that Nigerian ladies in Canada are lonely, loneliness knows no sex. It hits both men and women - particularly those who are fresh immigrants.


(2). MANY NIGERIAN GIRLS ABROAD SET UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS(THE KIND OF GUY THEY WANT)AT A YOUNG AGE.

I have met with several Nigerian - American girls here and even international students who came from Nigeria. In the course of my interactions with them, I noticed a pattern of behavior, most of the Nigerian girls(both Nigerian - Americans and Nigerian foreign students) who are below the age of 24 always have an ‘image’ of the guy they want. Many(do take note that my choice of words are MANY/MOST and not ALL) of them will always tell you that “he has to be very handsome, rich, tall, sociable (which could also mean a party freak/a guy who loves binge drinking). They will also tell you that he has to be responsible, and many more, according to them”. When you however delineate all of these requirements, you will realize that they are unrealistic. It is hard to find a guy who possesses all of these qualities at the same time - and even when you luckily get to meet one of such- the reality could be: he is already in a relationship, he does not like you or there is no connection between the two of you.

More so, expecting a Nigerian guy(particularly a foreign student) to have it all figured out( be rich, handsome, sociable, this and that) at the age of 22 is insane.

Many of these girls continue to view guys from this prism of expectations until when they clock 25years plus and reality begins to set in. They will now start realizing that their initial expectations are not logical. They will discover that the rich, tall, sociable and handsome guy they wanted at the age of 20 could be a cheater while the struggling guy who they looked down on during their Junior year in college could now be earning 7figures - just three years after they looked down on him. Life is a process and we all are still growing. It is better to look out for potentials, hunger for success, drive and discipline instead of creating unrealistic checklists at a young age. Many of these girls(and even guys) set their expectations based on what they see on social media - ignoring the fact that the reality of Davido and Chioma or Beyoncé and Jay Z is unlikely to be your own reality. By the time many people realize life does not work according to certain checklists, they would have lost some years and funny enough - the guy or girl they probably looked down on earlier could now be their dream partner albeit too late.

(3). THE AVERAGE NIGERIAN ABROAD PREFERS TO MARRY A FELLOW NIGERIAN BUT THINGS SOMETIMES CHANGE DUE TO HURTFUL EXPERIENCES


When I first arrived in the United States, it was easier for me to interact with Oyinbo girls than most Nigerian-American/Nigerian girls. Most(not all) of the Nigerian girls I met here were so evasive and arrogant then. This was a time I needed a lot of help - in terms of settling down, making new friends, staying connected to my roots and stuff like that. I never even thought of dating anyone then - I just wanted good friends in a foreign land but many of the feedback I got made it seem as if I was trying to “shoot a shot” and I should stay off them. In fact, on many occasions, it’s either my messages(some as innocent as: “Hello, please, which of these stores is the most reliable grocery store in this neighborhood)”? or my greetings were ignored or I was completely ghosted. Some of them even described me as a “FRESH OFF THE BOAT” guy who they don’t want to be friends with.
I found it somewhat sad because many of these privileged Nigerian kids are children of Nigerian immigrants who were also once foreign students that even worked as cleaners, drivers and the likes when they first arrived in the US before they eventually settled down to become Doctors, Engineers, Businessmen, etc. So, watching some of their kids act cocky towards a ”newly arrived Nigerian” was sad - because the struggles he/she is facing now were what their parents faced 20-30 years ago. While I was struggling to settle down, I got more support from foreigners - there were Americans who took me to different stores, taught me how to use the city transportation system, how to save cost and adjust to the American society and system. These were some of the forms of support I needed from my Nigerian sisters(NOTE : over 98% of the Nigerians I saw upon resumption are females).

On the other hand, there were girls from North African countries and other parts of the world who love Nigerian guys die. Kudos to our music industry: many foreigners love/rate Nigerian guys due to our afro beat artistes and our love for dance/faajii, big weddings and surprisingly - the way we treat our women. These foreign babes bought me unsolicited gifts and offered to pay for my food(which I stubbornly refused) on numerous occasions. In fact, there was an American friend that unsolicitedly cooked for me during Thanksgiving period - she cooked it in her family house, drove down to my apartment and gave it to me. Thus, if I was so desperate to date anyone at that time, it would definitely have been a foreigner.

Yet, I continued to love and support my Nigerian sisters and the Nigerian community. In fact, deep inside of me, I continued to convince myself that when the time is right - I would rather date and marry a Nigerian girl as opposed to any other nationality. This was despite the fact that I was friends with just only one Nigerian(she’s Nigerian - American) girl at that time - who was already dating a Caribbean guy and I was equally not even searching for a girlfriend at that time.

The reality here is: most guys are not that patient to wait for a Nigerian babe or tolerate such hurtful experiences. Many would have gone for the Oyinbo girls or any other foreigner who treated them nicely even if they had planned to date a Nigerian ab initio.

(4). WE SHOULD ALL BE REALISTIC AND STAY TRUE TO OURSELVES.

Looking for ready made girls or guys at a young age is one of the major reasons behind loneliness among Nigerians in the diaspora. The fact that a guy or a girl just arrived the US/Canada(to study) from Lagos or Onitsha today - with a heavy accent, awkward dressing, low bank account balance, etc... does not mean he cannot be as smart, sociable, and successful as Obama in a few years. If there is one thing I know about we Nigerians, it’s that: virtually all of us have great potentials and we desire greatness in life. We are very ambitious and we are willing to give all it takes to achieve our dreams - howbeit the stifling environment in Naija is usually a great hindrance to our successes. Nevertheless, we are all in the process of becoming who we hope to be. Thus, while we endure this process: why can’t we all just be realistic, support each other to be better individuals, achieve phenomenal successes together and serve as a beacon of hope to those who look up to us back home in Nigeria?
[/b]Why must we make major life decisions like relationships based on mostly unrealistic checklists when we both can evolve together to meet the desires of our heart and soul? [b]
We should not focus on what only pleases our eyes but what satisfies our heart and soul - that is what makes long lasting relationships. Beauty will fade. Money will fail at some point but what will make it last, forever is: character, strength, discipline and love of God.

[/b]Eventually, most of the girls who treated me badly when I first arrived here later wanted us to be friends after they read, saw or heard some things about me. While I will forever love my Nigerian sisters, coalescing around guys only when they look like what you want should not be so. Life does not work that way. Anybody could rise! There are potentials in every corner of the world. What people need are opportunities and when these opportunities meet potentials, preparations, hard work and the grace of God - greatness is inevitable.[b]

As Nigerian men abroad, we must love and respect our women. We must treat them as priorities - come what may! We must also support and cherish them because they embody our beauty, greatness and strength. Our Nigerian sisters must also realize that Lekki-Ikoyi link bridge was not built in a day - it took years of efforts, investments and transformation for it to become the darling of our Nollywood movies. In other words, that a guy does not entirely look like it today does not mean he will never get there. So far he has the potentials, he can even be more - with time and hard work, he can be way more than your unrealistic checklist. Can we now start looking at the heart and not the checklist?

This O.P writes from +1412, United States of America.

YOU ARE THE TRUE SON OF YOUR FATHER!!
NICE ONE!!!!!

Thank you for this thread. You 've make my day by just reading this wonderful thread. Thank you!!!

Inside Life.

wickyyolo:


A typical Nigerian girl. Very defensive. It’s true that Nigerians most especially the men are very friendly. I have never seen a friendly Nigerian girl.

I finished my uni at 21 also and I had gfs. Please, you girls are narcissistic and should stop looking down on men.

Our younger ones are coming of age and people like u should not spoil them. We must upholding culture and respect people.

For your information, I am not a Nigerian girl. Secondly, if you said you haven't met any friendly Nigerian girl that means something is socially wrong with you. Personally, I don't look down on anyone whether men or women, because what you give is what you get. My mother is a Nigerian woman, and as such I understand cultures and beliefs. I don't know where your anger against women is coming from. To be honest, Nigerian women or any other woman is definitely not your problem. Your problem is not understanding how to deal and associate with them. Normally, I will not respond to irresponsible treads, but this one deserves my ten seconds.Thank you.

Don't you mind her. A lot of people come out to talk nonsense here but if you're to see their private lives you would be shocked how hopelessly dependent on men they are. Yet they come out here and want to start forming new-age. One minute they are rubbishing men, the next minute they are asking men for handouts.

People should be consistent. If you feel you don't need men in your life, then take a walk; we are not gonna miss you either. It is simply getting too sick how different low-lives come out here bashing men just to join a misguided bandwagon. Yet they are cry and go from prayer ground to prayer ground in search of husbands.

MostIncredibleDFirst:
Assuming without conceding that you can cook well, do you have anything substantial you can contribute in a civil relationship as the wife?

WeRblessed:




For your information, I am not a Nigerian girl. Secondly, if you said you haven't met any friendly Nigerian girl that means something is socially wrong with you. Personally, I don't look down on anyone whether men or women, because what you give is what you get. My mother is a Nigerian woman, and as such I understand cultures and beliefs. I don't know where your anger against women is coming from. To be honest, Nigerian women or any other woman is definitely not your problem. Your problem is not understanding how to deal and associate with them. Normally, I will not respond to irresponsible treads, but this one deserves my ten seconds.Thank you.

You’re not a Nigerian woman. Your opinion will not be so valid.

fujirice:

It’s obvious you didn’t comprehend what you are replying to and I’m sorry I can’t help you there.
Bye

Okay then

Maube you dont understand what you wrote

But it's all good sha

1daboi:
you're just a fake feminist who thinks her overflogged cunt is still sweet. This is Africa. Respect a man and live happily or remain a fake feminist and remain lonelier, angrier and frustrated .

Finally, all those girls shouting "men are scum" with you are very loyal to their men and enjoying a mind blowing sex while you struggle with your virus infested vibrator.

I love u sis

Feminist? Overflogged? Lonelier? U people take NL too seriously

Babatunde40:


In this very enlightening post shared by the OP, this is the only thing you could comment? You are just man-hating. It will consume you into loneliness

Naaaa, I'm not man hating.

Unik3030:
I have been following u lately n now I know where u are coming from with all those things u say about men n marriage.

U were really pampered a lot n it makes u see things d western way rather than the African way,I am beginning to understand the reason my father opposed d idea of house help cos he believes it will make us lazy n see normal things from different perspectives cos we ain't used to it

My sister if it's time to marry don't marry an African man to avoid stories that touch so u can go abroad n pick anyone with your ideology cos majority of African man will say no to these ideologies

Lol. There are Woke men. Don't worry

zexy2030:

hey babe, didn't ur mum teach you? that a woman's responsibility is to take care of the man, the kid and the home.
And the man is expected to provide for his family?
But if u r part of the provider, why won't he assist in the kitchen, some men recognise this and join the wife in the home chores.

.
But I have always wonder: why shud a man not provide for his family? Why expect ur wife to help u? Men shud not go into marriage when they have not secure themselves financially. In some families, man and wife will abandon their children in the name of finding food. There is a reason why God make man the provider of the family. If we, in the name of modernity, change what God have said, their would be serious consequences.

FarmTech:

.
But I have always wonder: why shud a man not provide for his family? Why expect ur wife to help u? Men shud not go into marriage when they have not secure themselves financially. In some families, man and wife will abandon their children in the name of finding food. There is a reason why God make man the provider of the family. If we, in the name of modernity, change what God have said, their would be serious consequences.

na d economy o, times are changing, then u n ur wife should reach an agreement to work or not, then u must pay her n love her

DexterousOne:


My indian friends will disagree with you

Dunno about Chinese sha.

My man
When you are in a new place

You cannot carry out your cultural practice as you came from 100%

That's what is putting arabs out of place and confused in continental Europe.

Some ground will have to shift here and there

Even tho it's not also wise to throw your own way of life out of the window in totality

Adjustments can always be made by two understanding people in a relationship

I read on Twitter in 2018 when a man in the diaspora is the house husband while the wife is the principal breadwinner because of her field

He does side jobs once in a while and take care of the kids at home while the wife brings most of the paper

Everybody was just abusing him

While I wont do that myself
If that system works for you
Fine

African man biggest doing is his rigidity

Hahahahahaha...very true. My cousin's wife is Yoruba and she has been the breadwinner in their home for the past 3 years since he lost his job when oil price crashed in 2016, and many companies laid off their workers. She's a junior partner at her father's law practice and her husband now preps the kids for school every morning while she gets set for work. He keeps busy as an uber driver while the kids are at school, then picks and drops them everyday.

Humility, communication and perseverance has kept that family together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iAIcJnK3eE

Kennedyiheme02:
a conservativd woman in Kentucky cooks for her husband, yes or no?

She does the laundry yes or no?

She cleans the house yes or no?

She takes care of her kids yes or no?...

You're in some fantasy land.. is there any differences?.. the o ly difference between a traditional american woman and a nigerian one is the american woman knows her role well and can't be convinced by a movement called feminists that breeds old ugly 40+ year old women who've been ran over by alot of men and have like 500 body counts fo their names... protesting for equality they can't explain

Good one.

zexy2030:

na d economy o, times are changing, then u n ur wife should reach an agreement to work or not, then u must pay her n love her

.
If a wife must work, it shud not be at the expense of time with the children. And this idea of men getting into marriage with the mindset that their wives will support them is not good at all.