In these days of Corona virus pandemic, tensions are high but we just have to calm our nerves a bit

So let's share our funniest experience during our teenage days.

Mine - After our WAEC exam in 2014 my friend took his girlfriend home, he was a virgin then and the girl had sex just once. During the sex rump, the girl cummed so hard that she passed out and stopped moving. My guy started sweating and crying. He called me when she refused to wake up after 1hr.

In his words "Kaluxy! You know say your popsy na police, how many yrs imprisonment for murder case"

I'll comment later

As a teen? nothing funny, except the day I let out an embarrassing fart in front of some teen guys while waiting at the Bus stop. They were about to have my head but one understanding one calmed his crew

Na so my post go take die

Can't remember any. But I too cause trouble for street sha

Patiently waiting for those with audio funny experience

Liars keep off !!!

So as a JSS student in a boarding school in Imo State, I sneaked out to look for somewhere to buy milk for soaking garri, as my provision was stolen.

That was my first time of leaving the school compound, though I knew of the small gate behind Rev Sister house. My dear, I didn't know the school was inside forest. I kept wandering inside bush until very late.

Na for Dining they discovered I was missing. Because Table prefect no see me for my assigned seat. After internal search, Village vigilant was alerted, everybody enter prayer for school. Tender me, with hungry eye, I no know north from South again, I thought I turned back, not knowing I was wandering even farther into the bush. Even though I ate something I thought was tomatoes somewhere inside the bush.

Na that kind 2:00 am of the next two days them see me. (they said they saw me around 11pm of same day shaa, but I don't believe, the waka wey I waka be like 2 days waka).

I cry sotay tears finish for my eyes.


Moral of the Lesson: When Covid comes, the hunger that is bringing you out will clear from your eyes

It wasn't funny at the time, but its funny now

1. When my dad just bought Nokia 3310 , very expensive at the time, he was gathering money to buy SIM card another priceless possession...He warned me not to touch the phone (he kept it on top of the cloth hanger ).I was about 7 at the time, I was a playful and extremely inquisitive child, my sustained inquisitiveness led me into my current career path as a programmer.
Anyway, some days later he found a scratch on the screen of the phone, called me and asked me why I still went there after he warned me...In all honesty I didn't touch it, but he didn't believe me.

He flogged the living day-light out of me, he flogged me so much that I confessed to a crime I didn't commit.I had to admit to what I didn't do

Years later I reminded him :

Daddy, see that phone that year, yes, the one you flogged me so much for , I didn't touch it, I was innocent....Baba was shinning his teeth , no apology till today

I am married now, my children must hear this as soon as they are born, I would send them to torment him on why he punished their father unjustly


Follow me on twitter : www.twitter.com/NaijaSteveJobs

This will be interesting!

There was once a thread like this many years ago. The funniest Nairaland thread ever! Let me get the link.

_____________

Here it is https://www.nairaland.com/897685/share-sexiest-craziest-funniest-unforgettable


Thank me later.

Mine was the day I wooed babe for the first time. After the hole rehearsal, I was ready to shoot my shots. When I saw the babe I started sweating I maned up approached.
Me: Hi, your face looks familiar.

She: Yes, how may I help you?

Me: I started stammering.......I'm......I'm......I'm....

She just walked away
It was funny and also embarrassing.

Meanwhile I'm still your Bitcoin/Ethereum plug.

I remember as a kid, my mum scolded me for wrong doing and i went to the pot of ogbono soup she was cooking that evening, opened it and pee inside. The beating that day nor be small . Mum still told my gf the story recently and she promise to relate it to my kids in the future . I made a negative generational story for myself because of bad temper but i am cool like ice block now .

I have lots of childhood fun memory... Lemme share this one.


One day while coming back from school with my primary friends, one of the guys saw his uncle so he went to greet him. On coming back to meet us he was smiling so we asked him what ups, he told us he was given some money for TP. I come happy pass the person were them give money o. My guy asked me to stop bike, we were four in number. Na so I mumu stop bike. Unknown to me that he had keyed others that nothing commot from the uncle.

Boooom bike stop as I turn my guys don disappear. I saw them running like two nepa poles away. Me sef pick race to the opposite direction. Omo na so bike my follow me up o. Temple run in real life that day. Na gutter help me escape them for jam me break leg. I finally use bush track meet them for front. Them laugh me one week straight.

My beloved brother and sisters on nairaland, please kindly help me and my family, we are dying of hunger, please we need food, if there is any way you help us with foodstuffs our location is lagos. Thank you all

Pointing perfume (Malizia Uomo) straight at my pen.is hole and spraying it right through it

I saw more than hundred stars immediately. So painful.

I was in JSS 3



Till today I still can't decipher what I tried to experiment that time

C

i dont have one yet

Thank God... I made the first page for the first time... So effing happy... ✌� Maybe it's a good thing to book space after all...

Yep..
Funniest thing.. hmm... This is definitely gonna be wack... Lols

Ain't nothing fun...
My life is boring..... I sit down sometimes tryna reminisce about my past but I always ended up thinking about nothing cause there isn't really nothin' fun 'bout my past.. I haven't done much with my life...

I'm much of a loner, sociopath and introvert... So... Nothing fun...

Nothing funny

I almost committed suicide by hanging.


Trying to imitate a suicide scene in a movie

E

Ok....

I used to lick mucous from my nose, when I was young. That time I was very young now am old the taste hasn't changed. This life ehn

Front page?
Wow!

Was HYPER as a kid and COLD as a teenager

Hi

There were so many of them. I remember the time me and my guys smoke Cain, na so our lips swell like FRESHKPOMO. I am glad I came out as a good boy sha after a very rough childhood, only those in Benin can relate.








God bless Nigeria

So here is one.
I suppose I was in primary 5 or thereabouts in 2010.
My school then, had two gates (we called it big gate and small gate)which was directly opposite of each other.
I usually take the route of the big gate even if it was far from my house .

Then there was this day I decided to follow the small gate after giving in to peer pressure, for sure I did know the road that led to my house from the small gate.

Suddenly, one of my friends blurted out that she knows a short cut and it also happened to be a farm filled with mangoes and oranges that will lead to our destination fastest.
I was unsure for a moment, but what was wrong with catching a few adventures?
I dismissed my worry and followed them especially with the thought of catching some few treats along the way.

Few minutes into our journey, we came across a very big stream which had huge stones in it to enable one pass across. I looked at my friends and they were all grinning probably thinking our adventure has started already, well I was scared out of my wits and i can't really remember how I managed to cross that stream with the slimy Stones inside the water.

Moments later we came across another stream at least twice bigger than the one before. unfortunately it rained heavily the night before and the other water was overflowing without any rocks or stone in view.
It so happens that there was a building beside the water with some Haggard, old looking, forgotten blocks which I noticed passerby where using to get across the water while some were dipping their legs into the thighs reaching water as if it was the most natural thing to do in the world.

Haa!! How will a very, very slim person like me get across the water without it carrying me along lol

By now I was a bundle of mess with tears flowing freely down by cheeks already my friends have crossed to the other side of the water laughing their heads off at my predicament, they called me ajebutter, mummy's pet amongst other things and that only fueled my crying. Lol

No I can't go back because I had no one to help me across the slimy stream which we've already encountered.
At last one Uncle who noticed what was going on decided to help me by backing me and crossing the water .
My friends did not stop laughing and teasing me all the way.
It did not even occur to me that we were supposed to pick mangoes and oranges when we finally got to the farm. Lol. I couldn't wait to get home talk more of plucking mangoes.


From that day I vowed to never divert from the way I know , or get inticed.



But I have broken the damn promises now anyway LOL

Y