₦airaland Forum

FreelanceRebel:
Ok....

I used to lick mucous from my nose, when I was young. That time I was very young now am old the taste hasn't changed. This life ehn

funniest experience,not disgusting habit .hiaaa
And I had to read yours whilst eating.

I dey come

Las las, garri don finish



Please save a stomach during this lockdown




0035819361
Access Bank

Ijaycool:
So as a JSS student in a boarding school in Imo State, I sneaked out to look for somewhere to buy milk for soaking garri, as my provision was stolen.

That was my first time of leaving the school compound, though I knew of the small gate behind Rev Sister house. My dear, I didn't know the school was inside forest. I kept wandering inside bush until very late.

Na for Dining they discovered I was missing. Because Table prefect no see me for my assigned seat. After internal search, Village vigilant was alerted, everybody enter prayer for school. Tender me, with hungry eye, I no know north from South again, I thought I turned back, not knowing I was wandering even farther into the bush. Even though I ate something I thought was tomatoes somewhere inside the bush.

Na that kind 2:00 am of the next two days them see me. (they said they saw me around 11pm of same day shaa, but I don't believe, the waka wey I waka be like 2 days waka).

I cry sotay tears finish for my eyes.


Moral of the Lesson: When Covid comes the hunger that is bringing you out will clear from your eyes

Thank God you were found

when I was young, I used to be a regular bed- wetter. so one faithful day, I didn't bed wet and there was this banter going on at home that day about me not bed wetting. Everyone was happy, then they asked me why I didn't bed wet. Then I said its because I wasn't feeling fine. The whole house was howling in laughter. till date they still tease me about it.

Jestin:
I remember as a kid, my mum scolded me for wrong doing and i went to the pot of ogbono soup she was cooking that evening, opened it and pee inside. The beating that day nor be small . Mum still told my gf the story recently and she promise to relate it to my kids in the future . I made a negative generational story for myself because of bad temper but i am cool like ice block now .

,,, hahahahahahahahahaha,,
This one funny die,,,


Lolzzzzzz

ppogba:
I remember a cherubim and Seraphim family I grew up in Lagos. One day, the father was beating one of the children and when cane landed on the boy's head he shouted 'ELI ELI LAMASABATHANI" translated "My Father, My father why have you forsaken me".

The father and every one around marveled at the promptness and relevance of the quotation that day.

Till this moment, I still laugh at that.

can't stop laughing, abeg. Thank God I didn't read this in public.

I was a js3 about to write junior waec into SS class so dat faithful day the invigilators didn't come on tym so me and my friends decided to go and play PS2. when we got to the shop I don rush carry pad dae wait make them on generator owner of the shop draw the generator the generator refuse to start after much trial we decided to go back to school.. to the glory of God exam as started my fellow class mate Wer worried about us thank God we came on time before the exam we went back to the game shop and the owner was like after who na comot na so generator start I even send person to go find who na come....

BISIXCLUSIVE:
That time we live with grandma, has tough as our childhood was, we never Huck, instead we follow our friends dat huck around,for instance if I follow my friend it will be tru out the day, we came back at night and part ways. At Grandma's house we have alot of corners, I will sneak in at nite and went to one corner pretending I've been sleeping there since morning, as if grandma is daft she will give u food that nite and later wake u up in the middle of the night to beat the hell out of u. The most amazing part is that we children Sleep together den... because we are very young,immediately grandma start beating me others will wake up and run for their dear life because they don't know who is next

Another one is.... Whenever you offended do not call neighbors to beg on your behalf, hmmmm na die ooo. If you do that, she will pardon u for that moment, sha follow the neighbor and don't sleep with her in that house, else, you will explain the reason why u offend and the reason why u think neighbor should come and beg her, as she is beating she will be asking you your offense and also asking if you will do that next time, hmmm who born u to say you will do that next time, we are talking about long òmórogun hr

That woman could be my grandma's sister.

Funny u

rejoke:
when I was about five years old, my dad made a law that no body in the house should speak pigin English. either English or Urhobo.. that night was a solemn night for everybody. we were are so mute until he left for work the next day... on returning the next day from work, he enquired "where is makpo"...? no reply" he repeated it like three times, I got tired and decided to try my luck in answering as a waffi girl.. I replied "he is chopping for palor".. see laugh, everybody crawled out of their hiding place, the boisterous laughter that followed was something I could never forget.. and that was how the English matter ended.

jnrbayano:
Pointing perfume (Malizia Uomo) straight at my pen.is hole and spraying it right through it

I saw more than hundred stars immediately. So painful.

I was in JSS 3



Till today I still can't decipher what I tried to experiment that time

As in ehen, what possessed you?

kaluxy007:
Na so my post go take die

E no die

goroman:
when I was young, I used to be a regular bed- wetter. so one faithful day, I didn't bed wet and there was this banter going on at home that day about me not bed wetting. Everyone was happy, then they asked me why I didn't bed wet. Then I said its because I wasn't feeling fine. The whole house was howling in laughter. till date they still tease me about it.

izzou:
[color=royalblue]When I was in JSS3, we finished our exams and had this free period to roam about the school and environs

It was a boarding school, so I was supposed to escort a friend to a bank. After our lunch, we hurried out of school. I didn't have the chance to return my spoon to the hostel, so I put it in my pocket

Got to the bank and while we were walking in, I just heard a clinging sound.....My spoon don fall

The people around turned and looked at me, but I just walked away as if it wasn't mine.

It's a moment I still think about and smile [/color]

baba I know that feeling. Fgc ilorin back then. Mehn the suffering no be here. Danger finish us ehn. Then I no really know say enjoyment dey this world. Boarding school no be here o. I suffered so tey. During holiday when my mum ask me if I go go back, I go say no o. She go say for where?

MunorAnne:
That woman could be my grandma's sister.

infact we pass through hell.

When i was 7 i think,i Was watching tom and jerry scene when he fell from a building and used umbrella to paracute himself down. I said let mi try it nw. I climb a tree in our compound that is near the house and opened my umbrella and jumped. U knw the rest of the story.�

hahahahahahaha

donigspain:
This will be interesting!

There was once a thread like this many years ago. The funniest Nairaland thread ever! Let me get the link.

_____________

Here it is https://www.nairaland.com/897685/share-sexiest-craziest-funniest-unforgettable


Thank me later.

Jamahyel:
When i was 7 i think,i Was watching tom and jerry scene when he fell from a building and used umbrella to paracute himself down. I said let mi try it nw. I climb a tree in our compound that is near the house and opened my umbrella and jumped. U knw the rest of the story.�

When l was small,my brother n l were of d habit of wanting to follow our dad out in his car. This particular day he said he can't take us with
him despite all the begging.So,my brother n l decided to hide at d back of the back seat.
Our dad embarked on his journey without knowing we're hiding at d back of his car.... He has moved very far before we laughed out and he stopped d car n dragged us out. He sent us home n told us to wait for our disciplinary action when he comes back in the evening.. See when we get home come be like boiled vegetables�

kaluxy007:
In these days of Corona virus pandemic, tensions are high but we just have to calm our nerves a bit

So let's share our funniest experience during our teenage days.

Mine - After our WAEC exam in 2014 my friend took his girlfriend home, he was a virgin then and the girl had sex just once. During the sex rump, the girl cummed so hard that she passed out and stopped moving. My guy started sweating and crying. He called me when she refused to wake up after 1hr.

In his words "Kaluxy! You know say your popsy na police, how many yrs imprisonment for murder case"

In the year 1998, We had spent hours waiting for Footballer Victor Agali to come out of his aunty's flat on 22road Festac - town.

As he stepped towards his gigantic jeep that looked like Jay Jay Okocha's explorer back then.

We immediately started praising him, he smiled but did not to give us money, however we were relentless as we followed his car to the entrance of the Close(street).

We impressed him and he did give us money by throwing a bundle of cash at us.

Guess what, the guy that caught the money ran towards the main road, jumped on the back of a moving bus called "Danfo", About 4 of us followed the bus on foot but we were not able to meet up and that was it. We had to stand and look as the view of the bus faded away.

The stupid guy was later seen about 2 weeks later.....Money don finish...

[quote author=jenniferokoh89 post=89002292]adon die here bros abeg nah, hahahahaha lol

there are so many o, but this vividly comes to mind..lol

I remember one night in boarding school, I was in SS1 then, two of my friends and 1 were coming back from night prep, we usually come back very late to avoid running errands for seniors(usually SS3 students).

so this particular night while we were walking majestically as usual thinking the whole school has slept, all of a sudden someone flashed a touchlight at us, the next thing I heard was " stop there, all of you come here now, fast!" naso my guys scatter o, see race, me sef run, those seniors chased us eh, unlucky for me, the one that chased me was the one with touch. long story short I was caught, dealt with and giving cloth to wash that night.

there was no water, so I used pap water to wash the cloth, dropped the cloth in his room very early the next morning and disappeared. the guy was looking at faces in the dinning hall to know the bastard, moya look away, till he graduated he didn't know it was me.

Swinger60:


As in ehen, what possessed you?

I still can't tell

I remember the pain I felt. Was very sharp

W

Mizwisdom:
As a teen? nothing funny, except the day I let out an embarrassing fart in front of some teen guys while waiting at the Bus stop. They were about to have my head but one understanding one calmed his crew

Women's mess no dey good
Cause everything na posh
The mess self go come out in a posh way
And na that one dey bad pass one hour he still dey smell

Ijaycool:
So as a JSS student in a boarding school in Imo State, I sneaked out to look for somewhere to buy milk for soaking garri, as my provision was stolen.

That was my first time of leaving the school compound, though I knew of the small gate behind Rev Sister house. My dear, I didn't know the school was inside forest. I kept wandering inside bush until very late.

Na for Dining they discovered I was missing. Because Table prefect no see me for my assigned seat. After internal search, Village vigilant was alerted, everybody enter prayer for school. Tender me, with hungry eye, I no know north from South again, I thought I turned back, not knowing I was wandering even farther into the bush. Even though I ate something I thought was tomatoes somewhere inside the bush.

Na that kind 2:00 am of the next two days them see me. (they said they saw me around 11pm of same day shaa, but I don't believe, the waka wey I waka be like 2 days waka).

I cry sotay tears finish for my eyes.


Moral of the Lesson: When Covid comes the hunger that is bringing you out will clear from your eyes

Our God is a miracle working God
You don know wetin go kill you be that Na FOOD
Me never know my own

born2loveee:
So here is one.
I suppose I was in primary 5 or thereabouts in 2010.
My school then, had two gates (we called it big gate and small gate)which was directly opposite of each other.
I usually take the route of the big gate even if it was far from my house .

Then there was this day I decided to follow the small gate after giving in to peer pressure, for sure I did know the road that led to my house from the small gate.

Suddenly, one of my friends blurted out that she knows a short cut and it also happened to be a farm filled with mangoes and oranges that will lead to our destination fastest.
I was unsure for a moment, but what was wrong with catching a few adventures?
I dismissed my worry and followed them especially with the thought of catching some few treats along the way.

Few minutes into our journey, we came across a very big stream which had huge stones in it to enable one pass across. I looked at my friends and they were all grinning probably thinking our adventure has started already, well I was scared out of my wits and i can't really remember how I managed to cross that stream with the slimy Stones inside the water.

Moments later we came across another stream at least twice bigger than the one before. unfortunately it rained heavily the night before and the other water was overflowing without any rocks or stone in view.
It so happens that there was a building beside the water with some Haggard, old looking, forgotten blocks which I noticed passerby where using to get across the water while some were dipping their legs into the thighs reaching water as if it was the most natural thing to do in the world.

Haa!! How will a very, very slim person like me get across the water without it carrying me along lol

By now I was a bundle of mess with tears flowing freely down by cheeks already my friends have crossed to the other side of the water laughing their heads off at my predicament, they called me ajebutter, mummy's pet amongst other things and that only fueled my crying. Lol

No I can't go back because I had no one to help me across the slimy stream which we've already encountered.
At last one Uncle who noticed what was going on decided to help me by backing me and crossing the water .
My friends did not stop laughing and teasing me all the way.
It did not even occur to me that we were supposed to pick mangoes and oranges when we finally got to the farm. Lol. I couldn't wait to get home talk more of plucking mangoes.


From that day I vowed to never divert from the way I know , or get inticed.



But I have broken the damn promises now anyway LOL

(winks).
nice narrative.you write superbly well.

Noble71,please i have a new opportunity for bitcoin investment. Pls dm me. on whatsapp 08030559454

noble71:

Mine was the day I wooed babe for the first time. After the hole rehearsal, I was ready to shoot my shots. When I saw the babe I started sweating I maned up approached.
Me: Hi, your face looks familiar.

She: Yes, how may I help you?

Me: I started stammering.......I'm......I'm......I'm....

She just walked away
It was funny and also embarrassing.

Meanwhile I'm still your Bitcoin/Ethereum plug.

Kharol1234:
I was a js3 about to write junior waec into SS class so dat faithful day the invigilators didn't come on tym so me and my friends decided to go and play PS2. when we got to the shop I don rush carry pad dae wait make them on generator owner of the shop draw the generator the generator refuse to start after much trial we decided to go back to school.. to the glory of God exam as started my fellow class mate Wer worried about us thank God we came on time after the exam we went back to the game shop and the owner was like after who na comot na so generator start I even send person to go find who na come....

Kharol1234:
I was a js3 about to write junior waec into SS class so dat faithful day the invigilators didn't come on tym so me and my friends decided to go and play PS2. when we got to the shop I don rush carry pad dae wait make them on generator owner of the shop draw the generator the generator refuse to start after much trial we decided to go back to school.. to the glory of God exam as started my fellow class mate Wer worried about us thank God we came on time after the exam we went back to the game shop and the owner was like after who na comot na so generator start I even send person to go find who na come....

'FATEFUL'