₦airaland Forum

Lekan239:
thanks so much Sir. I'm convincing her daily. It started to look as if I'm turning her away from her husband

Well it's only her and her husband that really knows what they have between them.

Be careful as you go about convincing her so you don't end up as the bad son trying to come between his father and mother.

Lekan239:
yes this is my next plan of action thanks

God help you and give you the wisdom to navigate the issue.

I hope you and your siblings are learning the kind of spouses to be/ to have.

OP what about maternal relations, you guys need to BUNDLE her out of that place, some women won't listen till it's very late. You need to take her away, even if it's the village, that should be when interstate lockdowns are lifted, for now you try to manage the situation. Your father is mean.

don't allow your mom die for nothing,use your stupid father for money rituals, and take care of your family,this is the fact not opinion

superfitsez:
don't allow your mom die for nothing,use your stupid father for money rituals, and take care of your family,this is the fact not opinion

in money ritual it's the valuable person in your life that they want.

So they won't need the father rather his beloved mother or siblings.

Poorboy:
in money ritual it's the valuable person in your life that they want.

So they won't need the father rather his beloved mother or siblings.

Hahahahahahahaha

Poorboy:
in money ritual it's the valuable person in your life that they want.

So they won't need the father rather his beloved mother or siblings.

Lekan239:
After seeing all this behavior i advise my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering. Today this morning my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying do my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumble upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too. Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction it hurt me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who don't care nor love are even at her sick bed,he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

I guess you will have to make peace with her choices. She is a grown up. I have an aunt in a similar situation. The husband left finally and she is still waiting, has been waiting for 3 or 4 years now.

Your father is not alone in this behavior.
You guys should take care of your mom and let him be.

Chai

Your father is an irresponsible man, unfortunately at his age there is little you can do to change him.

You guys have to find a way to get a place to live alone so you can know that you're on your own

Report him to your dad family so that they can talk some sense to her
And also move closer to God

Its her fate, leave her to it

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

Dude bulldoze your mother and siblings out of that house. A river's man without any know handwork or job ranting he's going to be rich soon EQUALS MONEY RITUALS


My 2cents bye and GL

Baba,ya mum got family don't she??

She has a home in the village,take her there,set up a small trade for her,she can start something there
If keeping her with ya dad is her opinion,don't fall for it,you are happy u can see her now,save her live by taking her out of the house...

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

Have you spoken with your dad? Call him perhaps in the middle of the night. Have a father to son conversation in a respectful manner. And let's see the outcome..

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

Papa dey kill mama?

Look, it is clear that your mom is bent on staying with your dad. She probably still loves him. Now here's, the sad part; YOUR DAD DOESNT FEEL THE SAME WAY. If you care so much about your mom, try and convince her to to leave your dad. Try and establish a petty trade for her in another location (maybe her village). You know why? It will kill your mom if your dad leaves her first. Seriously!

Welcomme:
Take your mum back to the village. You guys should gather money for her let her start a petty trade. Don't allow the irresponsible father of yours to know all the moves you are taking.

That kind of man would still pack down to the village if he hears they are there. It's such an unfortunate situation.

Hun

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

Typing....

Your dad has been an ass hole and deadbeat for 27 years and yet you guys are four in numbers how do your mom did it?

How about you and your siblings tie him up and drop him off in any isolation center closest to you? Tell NCDC that your dad has covid_93 Deadbeat.

Sad news for you is your mom will never leave your dad. She would have done so long ago if she was going to... Face reality bro, get the mom and make your mama happy.. You guys are her husband now.

I repeat TAKE YOUR DAD TO AN ISOLATION CENTER, he should be quarantined.

Hmmm

.

My aunt's neighbor is currently in this predicament, worse of it is she found out two years ago that the money she gave him to help her buy land (based on head of the house things ) he used his name alone.


She married the man a virgin and technically he is the only man she has ever known so she find it's difficult to separate herself. The man is currently dating a single woman with three kids. Lord, she has refused to give her self brain till now.

There is nothing any of you can do as her kids but to have her back, and mind you even if you set up a business for her she will still use it to feed the man, all he has to do is apologize and spend the night in her bed and she will forgive .


Honestly it's sad ,cos even if you can convince her to give him space he will come back to her,as it stands she is like his go to shop when he is broke.

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

The first and best thing you can do for your mum now is to take her to your village home. As soon as possible!
She needs to be in a healthy environment first and foremost.

Please just strive and work harder. Take care of your mom and everything will be alright

Nothing will make him retrace his steps asides from sickness. I have seen quite a number of such cases. When the man is at deaths door people will start calling the children and blaming them for abandoning their father. None of these people are presently advising the man to do better but once sickness strikes him they will crawl out of the wood work to guilt trip the children

crackkhaus:
People like your father always get their due when the time comes. I don't believe any of you can do anything to change him because he is a middle-aged man who is already set in his ways.
Something miraculous needs to happen which will cause him to look inwards and retraces his steps, otherwise his path is set before him.

Your only priority now should be for your mother's wellbeing...so if you can keep convincing her to create some space, then keep doing that.
Ultimately, it's going to be her decision to either remain in the situation or move away for some peace of mind.

As far as I sympathize with your mum and you kids, I will honestly advice you not to hate or condemn your Father yet, it's only God Who knows the genesis of their problem visa-vis his anger. Your Father may actually be the victim here but decided to bear it on his own. If you eventually make it, take care of your mother as much as you take care of your Father.

Your mum is a typical Nigerian uneducated woman, addicted to suffering...

My only advice isvthat you and your siblings should hustle hard and remove her for your dad's roof.
She doesn't have much time...

As for your father, nature will take care of him.

This is why mothers are praised. It is very difficult to see a mother who is earning money neglect her children this way