₦airaland Forum

solmus:



Nigerian women are generally wicked, were is the love? are we saying 5 people cant share 3 rooms and a parlour peacefully without quarrel ? My first time outside the country I spent almost a month in a tiny apartment with 2 rooms and a parlour, the husband and wife shares one room, their daughter and the man's neice shared another, while I slept in the seating room with the husbands younger brother.. we all enjoyed our time together and contributed to pay bills, buy groceries.. we hide from neighbors to avoid being reported for being overcrowded and early in the morning everyone is out of the door , saying our goodbyes at the subway station

Its absolute lack of love that make Nigerian women hate house helps and husbands family, they would even treat their kitchen like its a sacred temple meant for only them.. whats the big deal if anyone cooks while the wife is away, and once she's back she microwaves it and eat? the other occupants in the house can make themselves useful by cleaning the house and making everywhere tidy, and in the evening after meal they can all share stories or watch a movie together


.

A sane write up. Remember everyone can't be like the character you narrated up. Somewhere there's always a JUDAH

instinct57vm:
I have a female friend who got married last year October precisely.

Fast forward to March this year the Mother In Law came to stay with the couple in a bid to visit her hospital within the couple’s area for medical checkup, reason being that she stays a bit farther away in the same state.

Upon her Mother in law’s arrival, she came with my friend’s husband brother accompanied by his girlfriend who all planned staying and eventually stayed without prior notice.

My friend(the lady) is a banker and was only informed casually by her husband while she was at work on the day of their arrival. His excuse was the mother called impromptu about the visit which I don’t think is bad anyway.

These couple stay in a three bedroom apartment and only one room has bed in it. This is the room the couple sleep.

The first two days of the mother inlaw, brother and brother’s girlfriend arrival, the couple had to sleep in the living room while the mother in law and the brother in law’s girlfriend slept in the couple’s room.

As days goes by, the husband who is self employed suggested the the rest of them will handle cooking in the house due to the wife’s tight schedule as per banking job in Lagos.

Part of the consequence of their visit is that they have overthrown the kitchen and like most ladies my friend wasn’t cool with this but tried to keep her cool.

The lady(my friend) became curious and asked the husband to clarify if the mother in law and co intends to stay with them permanently. The husband subsequently flared up with the allegations that his wife doesn’t want his people around. This happened to be the third time his wife asked this question in the space of two weeks.

One thing led to the other on the third time of asking this question my friends husband beat her up and chased her out of the house while the mother stood and watched without interfering.

Efforts to reconcile has proved abortive as the husband refused to let her in again and categorically said to my friend’s dad he isn’t interested in the marriage anymore. The mother in law refused to interfere.

PS: The hubby’s mother is a separated single mother.
PS: My friend and her hubby both contributed to pay the rent
PS: The hubby’s father is not in support of all the happenings and all efforts to reach his son proved abortive since the misunderstanding. He wouldn’t answer his dad’s calls.

What are your opinions about this issue? Thank you.

cock&bull story.

Bilabong:
How can u visit someone that long in present day Nigeria?

Mother in-law don chop winch... Fried one.

If you know sacrifices that single mom undergo for their children, you wouldn't say this.

I'll do same if my wife tries this with my mom. You can't love me and hate my mom. What if I'm her only child and she's ageing, does it mean she doesn't have the right to live with her son's family? She's even sick self...

Women sha...

GIdiata:
I thought women (feminists) want their husbands to share House course with them?
they want to also sit in the living room while he's doing the cooking in the kitchen?
them women(feminists) doing kitchen work alone is slavery (gender equality)
them women want to go to work, come back and meet food at home since they are not slaves.
why is she now complaining when a loving husband who cares so much about her and has done something great to reduce the kitchen burden on her.

if he had brought a maid you will say he's having an affair
if the mother waits for you to come back from work and cook for her u will complain of slavery that you go to work his mother sits at home do nothing and complain about food not read on time

what do WOMEN (FERMINISTS) REALLY WANT?

There are women, there are feminists
All feminists are women.
Not all women are feminists.

The truth be told, why will a sane man who just got married less than 6 months bring his mother, brother and girlfriend to come and be staying with them?
It's ridiculous. That man is sick upstairs if the story is true.

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Why is my brother and his girlfriend crashing in my house, Hell nah I can understand mother. Is the husband igbo by any chance ?

omokudu:
If you know sacrifices that single mom undergo for their children, you wouldn't say this.

I'll do same if my wife tries this with my mom. You can't love me and hate my mom. What if I'm her only child and she's ageing, does it mean she doesn't have the right to live with her son's family? She's even sick self...

Women sha...

Guy read the thing well na. She came, not alone but with two other people for over three weeks. U can't even have space in your own home.

fashionale:
There are women, there are feminists All feminists are women. Not all women are feminists.

if u are a female and not a feminist. you deserve ACCOLADES. most women hide under d umbrella of EQUITY to push forward FEMINISM

adunnioladipupo:
.


She represent her family.

With your moniker guess u r female n you still frown at her opinion that shows she’s so toxic I pity any man that marry her

GIdiata:
if u are a female and not a feminist. you deserve ACCOLADES.
most women hide under d umbrella of EQUITY to push forward FEMINISM

I'm a man
And I don't push for feminism neither( not a fan of it at all)
But one thing is certain, every wife has a say at what happens in her kitchen, whether feminist or non feminist.

GIdiata:
if u are a female and not a feminist. you deserve ACCOLADES.
most women hide under d umbrella of EQUITY to push forward FEMINISM

I'm a man
And I don't push for feminism neither( not a fan of it at all)
But one thing is certain, every wife has a say at what happens in her kitchen, whether feminist or non feminist.

Very funny. The mother already brought a new wife and claimed it was his brothers girlfriend.
She was dumb not to have seen the writing on the wall.
Thanks to Allah she left. He wasn't the man for her. Shikena

Story seems fake to me. A Nigerian mother allowing her son and his GIRLFRIEND to tag along with her to occupy her other son's house? No, that sounds unbelievable.

instinct57vm:
I have a female friend who got married last year October precisely.

Fast forward to March this year the Mother In Law came to stay with the couple in a bid to visit her hospital within the couple’s area for medical checkup, reason being that she stays a bit farther away in the same state.

Upon her Mother in law’s arrival, she came with my friend’s husband brother accompanied by his girlfriend who all planned staying and eventually stayed without prior notice.

My friend(the lady) is a banker and was only informed casually by her husband while she was at work on the day of their arrival. His excuse was the mother called impromptu about the visit which I don’t think is bad anyway.

These couple stay in a three bedroom apartment and only one room has bed in it. This is the room the couple sleep.

The first two days of the mother inlaw, brother and brother’s girlfriend arrival, the couple had to sleep in the living room while the mother in law and the brother in law’s girlfriend slept in the couple’s room.

As days goes by, the husband who is self employed suggested the the rest of them will handle cooking in the house due to the wife’s tight schedule as per banking job in Lagos.

Part of the consequence of their visit is that they have overthrown the kitchen and like most ladies my friend wasn’t cool with this but tried to keep her cool.

The lady(my friend) became curious and asked the husband to clarify if the mother in law and co intends to stay with them permanently. The husband subsequently flared up with the allegations that his wife doesn’t want his people around. This happened to be the third time his wife asked this question in the space of two weeks.

One thing led to the other on the third time of asking this question my friends husband beat her up and chased her out of the house while the mother stood and watched without interfering.

Efforts to reconcile has proved abortive as the husband refused to let her in again and categorically said to my friend’s dad he isn’t interested in the marriage anymore. The mother in law refused to interfere.

PS: The hubby’s mother is a separated single mother.
PS: My friend and her hubby both contributed to pay the rent
PS: The hubby’s father is not in support of all the happenings and all efforts to reach his son proved abortive since the misunderstanding. He wouldn’t answer his dad’s calls.

What are your opinions about this issue? Thank you.

Her husband doesn't love her. She supposed to come first in his life as his wife, before his extended family! That house is also her home not his mother's or brother's! So she has more authority in that home than his extended family!

What she asked him was normal and shouldn't have caused any problems! She also has the right to know if or when they were going to leave!

He has no right whatsoever to beat her or kick her out of a home she contributed in paying for! This is not right! He behaved as if he has been harbouring some grudges in his mind against his wife!

He has already made it clear that he's no more interested in her, so if you love your friend, tell her to quit this toxic marriage and move on with her life intact while she can. A man who beats and treats his wife this way could as well murder her!

The husband's mother is as bad as her son. Don't get me started on her.

Tell your friend to run as far as possible from that imb*ecile she called her husband! She's lucky to be alive!

Why would the lady want to go back to such marriage? She should see this separation as a blessing in disguise.

abdulizom:
Anyway, there's more to this story than..........

One thing is sure for me, there no woman on earth that can be obviously disrespectful to my mother that will be in my house even if my Mom is at fault, never.

My Mum is my world no more no less, and she's very considerate.

No woman on earth command more value than my mother, even my wife knows. She doesn't joke with her, she may pretend about it, but, sure she doesn't cross her boundary

This is one of the reason that scares me to have a male kid, will i raise someone that is healthily independent or one that is attached to my apron as the above person? this type of relationship above seems weird, seems like this guy is sleeping with his mother

oglalasioux:
They brought another wife for your friend's husband. The girlfriend of mother inlaw's brother is actually a new wife for your friend's husband. They were just waiting for the perfect time to throw your friend out.

Some mothers are made by the devil himself.

On point! this type of scenario played out recently to someone I know. the question I asked was why the marriage in the first place if you have plans of bringing in a new lady within the first year of your conjugation, this Lady I'm talking about was locked out with five months pregnancy.

instinct57vm:
Silla I doff my cap to you. You addressed this issue without bias and with a sound mind, only matured people are able to pull of this kind of comments. Maturity isn’t shying away from social media like a lot of ppl thinks. Once again i doff my cap to you. #respect.
Like u, I actually faulted her consistent approach and a few things coz it takes two to tangle really. However, when i heard this guy’s side of the story, likewise what u mentioned again, the hubby never loved her, even if love alone isn’t sufficient, it’s absolutely the prerequisite to anything we do in life. The guy wasn’t prepared for marriage and lack the basic skills to handle matters.
Many Thanks for ur contribution. Well appreciated!

Thanks for the commendation. We give God the glory. I really appreciate you too.

fashionale:
I'm a man
And I don't push for feminism neither( not a fan of it at all)
But one thing is certain, every wife has a say at what happens in her kitchen, whether feminist or non feminist.

she wasn't deprived of that right. According to d story, the husband was trying to ease her work that was all. no one stopped her from using the kitchen it's hers

instinct57vm:
I have a female friend who got married last year October precisely.

Fast forward to March this year the Mother In Law came to stay with the couple in a bid to visit her hospital within the couple’s area for medical checkup, reason being that she stays a bit farther away in the same state.

Upon her Mother in law’s arrival, she came with my friend’s husband brother accompanied by his girlfriend who all planned staying and eventually stayed without prior notice.

My friend(the lady) is a banker and was only informed casually by her husband while she was at work on the day of their arrival. His excuse was the mother called impromptu about the visit which I don’t think is bad anyway.

These couple stay in a three bedroom apartment and only one room has bed in it. This is the room the couple sleep.

The first two days of the mother inlaw, brother and brother’s girlfriend arrival, the couple had to sleep in the living room while the mother in law and the brother in law’s girlfriend slept in the couple’s room.

As days goes by, the husband who is self employed suggested the the rest of them will handle cooking in the house due to the wife’s tight schedule as per banking job in Lagos.

Part of the consequence of their visit is that they have overthrown the kitchen and like most ladies my friend wasn’t cool with this but tried to keep her cool.

The lady(my friend) became curious and asked the husband to clarify if the mother in law and co intends to stay with them permanently. The husband subsequently flared up with the allegations that his wife doesn’t want his people around. This happened to be the third time his wife asked this question in the space of two weeks.

One thing led to the other on the third time of asking this question my friends husband beat her up and chased her out of the house while the mother stood and watched without interfering.

Efforts to reconcile has proved abortive as the husband refused to let her in again and categorically said to my friend’s dad he isn’t interested in the marriage anymore. The mother in law refused to interfere.

PS: The hubby’s mother is a separated single mother.
PS: My friend and her hubby both contributed to pay the rent
PS: The hubby’s father is not in support of all the happenings and all efforts to reach his son proved abortive since the misunderstanding. He wouldn’t answer his dad’s calls.

What are your opinions about this issue? Thank you.

Going through this post, i am certain that there is more to this story..
1. Does the couple have a child?
2.d practice of brother visiting with girlfriend is strange!
3.are u certain it was his brothers girlfriend or d wife they wanted him to marry?
4. Is motherinlaw from benin city.
5.what is ur view on the fact that she is also separated?....is it enough explanation as to why she kept mute?

Bj5all:
You told you a man that is close to his mother doesn't make a good husband? Or don't you know most men treat their wives like they treat their mum?

There is a difference between a good man and a stupid one irrespective of how close they are to their mother. Some are never close to their mum and still treat their wives sooo badly. Others are close to their mum and their wives are lucky to have them.

Don't go about giving marriage advise you know nothing about. It's obvious you are not married yet.

Wisdom!!! Wisdom will kill you

It is well with ur friend. She saw the handwriting on the wall before she walked down d aisle with the said guy but she looked away even when her attention was called to it. Both of them never loved each other and had unrealistic expectations of each other in the marriage. Maybe it's God's way of saving her for the second time.

stabilizer:
Wetin concern you ?

Dem suppose match your mouth with baton. Your write up support more of your friend, which in this case you support her attitude towards her husband and you know it may result to the end of the marriage. I guess you want your friend to loose her home or maybe you are just the stupid jealous realist i've met before ....

How old are you? What do u do for a living?

instinct57vm:
Well said. Same advise I gave her. We are past the era of condoning rubbish marriage. Being single is truly better than being married to some idiots

are u married yet? What's ur thought about ur friend prior to the said marriage and ur contribution in her marriage before this current issue

bizme:
The danger of a single story.
The danger of telling one side of the story.
Obviously you're telling the story in a way that makes your friend the victim. We don't have the details here; let the affected people who have the detail sort it out.

If you are expecting word for word daily activities of people on here you not gona get it. That’s the summary, intelligent ppl will ask questions to clarify their thoughts and share opinion or they keep shut

stabilizer:
How happy is your family? I pray you are married to strict man Because you need a home that will be like a correctional center. A lots needs to be unscrew from your head and replace with what you actually deserve. You are lagging ma'am

How old are you? U sound like a cradle. On this note I’ll pardon ur foolish comments. Go and sin no more

Vulcan24:
wether they told d story in parts or full.... which Kain mother in law go carry brother n gf join body go visit son!!!!

a married son for that matter

vampaya family

am married and I don't tolerate excessiveness from my mom..... mom's can be over possessive, u av to let her know she's "ur wife not our wife"

Are u minding the blind people asking for full story when they can clearly see RED flags all over the summary i put up there.

stabilizer:
Why not snatch the husband so you can show him how insane you are ?

Don’t be a bastard it’s clearly written all over my profile that I’m male and beside my username u’ll see (m) if you aint blind. I’m also married! So please don’t be dumb.

Sounds like my mother in law who comes over every 6 months. She crosses 4 states which all have very good teaching hospitals to come to my home for one month 'checkup'. I don taya. This COVID-19 travel ban is a blessing in disguise. Mothers need to learn to give their sons and their daughters-in-law plenty space.

The man should please set his priorities right. I have been there so I know what the wife has experienced. No sensible mother-in-law would come and take over their child's home and stand by quietly while he kicks his wife out - no matter the problems they have had.

Kingarthur21:
We know its you and not your friend...

Get a good lawyer, a man has no right to beat you that way and also throw you out of the house.
Don't understand why at the slightest provocation a man chases his wife out of the house. Even if she didn't pay a dime in the rent it is wrong.
If you are tired of the worst of all women you are to file for a divorce.


That is why I wouldn't encourage any lady to contribute to rent because at the slightest of provocation he will bark "get out of my house".

If my wife annoys me I will leave the house for her to be alone,move on with my life and leave her alone in that marriage and house.

Thanks for your contribution. I am a man and I’m married. Also you cannot file for divorce in Nigeria until 2years of staying apart.

instinct57vm:
I have heard his own side. His side were petty and doesn’t hold water, you know when ppl say things to score cheap points that’s what his side was all about! Simply put, His side of the story doesn’t justify his actions

Tell us his side now..